Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 (edited) This has nothing to do with sex. This is about your failure to communicate. "Let me in" means emotionally, not physically. Yeah, but he doesn't know what's going on and believes I'll tell him sooner or later. this is the only thing/reason because of which I've been distant. Otherwise, emotionally we did connect well. Edited December 31, 2009 by ella23
Vertex Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Some people will probably disagree with me, but I'm going to come out and say that you're trolling. You're coming across as incredibly selfish, dishonest, frustrating, and obstinate. If by some chance you're not trolling these boards, I indeed feel very sorry for your boyfriend and urge you to break up soon so you can focus on your own issues.
Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 (edited) Some people will probably disagree with me, but I'm going to come out and say that you're trolling. You're coming across as incredibly selfish, dishonest, frustrating, and obstinate. If by some chance you're not trolling these boards, I indeed feel very sorry for your boyfriend and urge you to break up soon so you can focus on your own issues. *sigh* I'm not trolling. I'm not sure why you think that but well. I know you think that I should tell him and sort things out , but to be honest, some of you guys are right, that I do infact have too much emotional baggage and he's better off on his own. That, and of course, I just feel extremely embarrassed talking about it to him, you know. Edited December 31, 2009 by ella23
dnm Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 *sigh* I'm not trolling. I'm not sure why you think that but well. I know you think that I should tell him and sort things out , but to be honest, some of you guys are right, that I do infact have too much emotional baggage and he's better off on his own. That, and of course, I just feel extremely embarrassed talking about it to him, you know. Ella, if you actually get yourself to talk to him openly for once, you'll be able to get rid of a lot of emotional baggage from your previous relationship. It might be embarrassing for you, but it will be worth it. Since you haven't dumped him yet and he's going to be at your home, take the opportunity to take your relationship further, instead of ending it.
Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 (edited) I tried to but I couldn't the last time. I'll see if I can get myself to talk to him tonight. Going to be really tough for me if I get dumped again though. If I can't get myself to talk to him, then I'll break up like I planned to. And there's another thing which I keep thinking about-what I mentioned already-that he has been with several women and doesn't have problems finding girlfriends/dates. Why would he want to be with me when he can have someone who has a better body? Edited December 31, 2009 by ella23
sugar_and_spice Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I really hope you're able to talk about your issues with him. Best of luck.
Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 thanks . BTW I didn't really mean some of the things as strongly as I said them on the last page, I'm just sick of being attacked again and again.
dnm Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Don't take that too personally. People are just frustrated because of your stubbornness regarding this issue.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 thanks . BTW I didn't really mean some of the things as strongly as I said them on the last page, I'm just sick of being attacked again and again. Sorry that I was being mean, but seeing how your thread went on for pages without any changes it was hard not to get frustrated. I understand you're very bodily conscience, but you have to realize that not everyone thinks the same, and many have different preferences. If you truly feel that he won't accept you as you are than yes, you're better off without him. He did however sounded sincere enough to want to get close to you, but then again you can't always judge a book by it's cover. Hope things work out well.
sugar_and_spice Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 (edited) so what happened ultimately? And there's another thing which I keep thinking about-what I mentioned already-that he has been with several women and doesn't have problems finding girlfriends/dates. Why would he want to be with me when he can have someone who has a better body? because he cares? Edited January 1, 2010 by sugar_and_spice
sugar_and_spice Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 If you truly feel that he won't accept you as you are than yes, you're better off without him. He did however sounded sincere enough to want to get close to you, but then again you can't always judge a book by it's cover. no way to know unless she tells/told him what's really the problem.
melly18 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 (edited) I haven't read the entire thread, but I did read the last few pages, and I think it's very wrong to dump someone without telling them honestly why you are doing it. You're treating someone who's close to you in a horrible way. edit: I tried to but I couldn't the last time. I'll see if I can get myself to talk to him tonight. hope you were able to sort things out honestly Edited January 1, 2010 by melly18
agentsmith Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 (edited) I made a thread a while ago about how my breasts were sagging and my bf broke up with me over it, because I didn't want to get a lift done. I've been dating someone new for a while, didn't think it would lead to anything serious, but it has(sort of). We've been intimate a few times. He's tried to sleep with me a few times, and I want to, but I'm scared about his reaction. What do I do, tell him in advance, break up or what? I'll be honest: yes, I personally won't want to be with a woman who has saggy breasts. I suggest you tell him in advance, that way you can avoid being hurt should he find it unattractive. Edited January 1, 2010 by agentsmith
boogieboy Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I'll be honest: yes, I personally won't want to be with a woman who has saggy breasts. I suggest you tell him in advance, that way you can avoid being hurt should he find it unattractive. Nah,. she doesnt want to tell him because she doesnt want to be hurt NOW.
agentsmith Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 (edited) Nah,. she doesnt want to tell him because she doesnt want to be hurt NOW. I don't blame her for feeling concious. I'd imagine it could possibly be a turn off for a lot of men, sorry. Edited January 1, 2010 by agentsmith
Phateless Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Ella - I want to apologize for being harsh with you earlier. We're all just frustrated at seeing you throw away a good relationship out of simple irrational fear. I get where you're coming from, I really do, but it's important to separate fear of something happening from knowing that it will. How did it go?
sugar_and_spice Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I'll be honest: yes, I personally won't want to be with a woman who has saggy breasts. I find it hard to believe that there are guys who would break up over such minor issues, but obviously there a significant number of such people.
Phateless Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I don't blame her for feeling concious. I'd imagine it could possibly be a turn off for a lot of men, sorry. If you like the girl, would you dump her over saggy breasts? I find it hard to believe that there are guys who would break up over such minor issues, but obviously there a significant number of such people. Obviously, we all have general preferences over what is ideal and what is acceptable, but sagging breasts aren't a deal-breaker. Some people are just hyper-critical of others, and they're usually the most F---ed up in the head anyway.
sugar_and_spice Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Obviously, we all have general preferences over what is ideal and what is acceptable, but sagging breasts aren't a deal-breaker. . Some guys on here said it would be, and breaking up solely for this reason seems odd to me. Anyhow,Sagging boobs don't necessarily have to be unattractive always, they don't always look like ugly granny boobs.
Phateless Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Some guys on here said it would be, and breaking up solely for this reason seems odd to me. Anyhow,Sagging boobs don't necessarily have to be unattractive always, they don't always look like ugly granny boobs. Agreed. I like slightly saggy boobs because they can be fun for certain activities...
agentsmith Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 (edited) If you like the girl, would you dump her over saggy breasts? . I would find it difficult to be physically attracted to a such a woman. Obviously I'd come up with some other reason, I won't say "I'm breaking up with you because you have ugly boobs". I find it hard to believe that there are guys who would break up over such minor issues, but obviously there a significant number of such people. Yes so what? People break up for all kinds of reasons. I don't think it's that minor. I think it's ridiculous that the guys who are saying sagging boobs are unattractive to them are being attacked by some posters. I won't be surprised if there are guys who aren't posting here because of that. Edited January 1, 2010 by agentsmith
dnm Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Seeing some of the posts here, I sometimes don't feel surprised that the OP is reluctant to show her boobs to her boyfriend. Possibly ex bf, because I have serious doubts that she would have told him.
james123 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I would find it difficult to be physically attracted to a such a woman. Obviously I'd come up with some other reason, I won't say "I'm breaking up with you because you have ugly boobs". Yes so what? People break up for all kinds of reasons. I don't think it's that minor. I think it's ridiculous that the guys who are saying sagging boobs are unattractive to them are being attacked by some posters. I won't be surprised if there are guys who aren't posting here because of that. Good post. Having a certain preference regarding such things doesn't mean you're a jerk. By the way, it's kind of strange that a couple of posters are asking the op how her break up went!?
Peitho Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Why would he want to be with me when he can have someone who has a better body? Because he doesn’t want that ‘better’ body?Because he doesn’t think their bodies are better?Because ‘the body’ is not of such importance to him?Because he had those ‘better bodies’ and realised how overrated they are?Because he cares? I think it’s great some men wouldn’t want to be with a woman just because she has some physical characteristic that doesn’t conform to the current idea of perfection. It provides you with an easy way to weed them out. You don't want them. Even women with 'perfect' bodies don't want them. All boobs will sag, more or less, after breastfeeding. All boobs will sag with age. What will those men do when that happens? Leave you? Pressure you to get a surgery? Cheat on you? Honey, you don’t need these problems (if you can avoid them). Don’t hate man like that, be thankful for them. They actually help you find what you want. I will even go that far to say – use your breast to your advantage – to find out who is worth your time and who is not. Some girls with ‘perfect’ breasts won’t have that advantage. They will believe those guys really love them…until the inevitable happens… P.S. I don't know if it's too late for this guy, Ella, but the longer you wait, the harder it will get.
james123 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 All boobs will sag, more or less, after breastfeeding. All boobs will sag with age. What will those men do when that happens? Leave you? Pressure you to get a surgery? Cheat on you? Honey, you don’t need these problems (if you can avoid them). . Not true. I would stay with a woman if her boobs started sagging after breastfeeding or when she gets older. But I don't think I want to be with someone who has sagging boobs from the start.
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