Die Hard Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 The problem is that this issue is obviously deeper than insecurity. You're willing to be flat-out dishonest with the poor guy and string him along -- you're really just planning on ending it without even getting his input on the matter. We're not saying you're blameworthy for being insecure, but you're handling it in the worst way possible. I don't know why you made this thread if you're already so dead set on screwing this guy over because you're so fixated on your boobs. It borders on trolling, to me. You have zero concern for his feelings or thoughts. Not to get too graphic, but did you ever consider the sexual advantages of having "saggy" boobs? It depends on what you're doing, obviously, but you're selling yourself short, here... In any case, at least be honest with the guy or end it quickly before you string him along much longer.I'd even go so far as to say most men would prefer dating a woman whose tits dragged the ground and was fine with it rather than date a woman whose tits sag a little and obsesses about it like ella. I know I would!
Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 You don't care what he wants or needs...all you care about are your tits and what others think of them. Your needs and wants are all that matters. Your saying that won't make it true. I do care about him, it doesn't matter if you agree or not.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Because this isn't about our compatibility in general. I don't need to discuss what he wants or needs in a partner here, because that is not an issue I need advice on. This makes no sense whatsoever. Dating and compatibility go hand-in-hand. And another thing, If the bolded part is true, then the whole point of " I'm sad because I don't know if he will like my sagging boobs" should be nonexistant. I agree with Vertex, you are selfish.
Die Hard Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Your saying that won't make it true. I do care about him, it doesn't matter if you agree or not.it doesn't matter if you agree with me or not. You don't care about him, and you saying you do won't change that. Well, you do care about him in one way....you care what he thinks about YOUR tits. Beyond that, I've seen nothing in your posts to indicate any caring for him whatsoever.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Your saying that won't make it true. I do care about him, it doesn't matter if you agree or not. You just can't stop contradicting yourself.
Vertex Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Your saying that won't make it true. I do care about him, it doesn't matter if you agree or not. Again, please answer my question: Why on earth did you make this thread if you don't care when people disagree with you? The whole point of getting advice is to keep an open mind and take in what people tell you so that you can gain a more accurate assessment and perspective of the situation. You seem to only jump out and agree with ANY posts in this thread that may reinforce your insecurity (you cling onto anything that may imply that guys hate sagging boobs), whereas you ignore the vast oceans of replies in this thread that are sound -- and all of which explain, logically, what your best options are at this point. You are not following said options at all! But no, "it doesn't matter what you think" is your fallback in the presence of very relevant points that DO matter.
Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 This makes no sense whatsoever. Dating and compatibility go hand-in-hand. And another thing, If the bolded part is true, then the whole point of " I'm sad because I don't know if he will like my sagging boobs" should be nonexistant. . I meant what he wanted/needed from a gf as a person, I wasn't talking about looks and all. it doesn't matter if you agree with me or not. You don't care about him, and you saying you do won't change that. Well, you do care about him in one way....you care what he thinks about YOUR tits. Beyond that, I've seen nothing in your posts to indicate any caring for him whatsoever. I think I'm more likely to know that than you. Vertex, I hadn't decided to break up when I made this thread.
Die Hard Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I think I'm more likely to know that than you.Ordinarily I'd agree with you.....but not in your case. You haven't a clue about relationships or fair play. It's obvious from your posts.
Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 Ordinarily I'd agree with you.....but not in your case. You haven't a clue about relationships or fair play. It's obvious from your posts. Since you've made it a point to be nasty about everything, I guess there isn't any point in saying anything.
Die Hard Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I meant what he wanted/needed from a gf as a person, I wasn't talking about looks and all. Well you finally got SOMETHING right. You, as a person, are not what he needs. You are too selfish and self-absorbed. Any old breasts will do for most men....at the end of the day(im sure your current BF is the same), it's the head they are attatched to that really matters and yours appears to be screwed on sideways.
Vertex Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Vertex, I hadn't decided to break up when I made this thread. Not my point -- I am saying you haven't been listening to any advice in this thread at all. You're performing a classic error of confirmation bias. You latch onto anything said in this thread that coincides with your views at the expense of ignoring the staggering replies that contradict your views. As a result, you're allowing a skewed outlook of the situation persuade you to act irrationally. It doesn't matter if you weren't planning on breaking up with him to begin with. You're just not assessing the situation very well even with all the sound advice, and, despite what you may say to the contrary, you are NOT acting fairly to your boyfriend. It's one thing to break up with someone because you don't feel like you can reciprocate in the relationship fairly for whatever reason, but it's another thing to lie about an irrational fear in conjunction with stringing someone along in the interim. You don't even know what the guy thinks yet and you're already planning to bombshell the poor guy. Again, don't lie to the dude -- be up-front, let him know your true concerns, and take it from there.
Die Hard Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Since you've made it a point to be nasty about everything, I guess there isn't any point in saying anything.Just because you take my posts as being nasty doesn't mean I'm wrong. Selfish people don't like being called on it. I know I never do! And no, you don't need to say anything....you've said plenty already.
sugar_and_spice Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 What's the point in attacking her here? That helps nobody. Anyhow, all I'm going to say is, that if you want to end it, then don't go on a date to a New Year Party. Go out for coffee or call him over, talk it out and end it there.
thegreatmoose Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I do care about him, it doesn't matter if you agree or not. If you truly cared about him, you would be honest with him. Clearly, not telling him has caused you a lot of stress and is not working too well.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 What's the point in attacking her here? That helps nobody. Anyhow, all I'm going to say is, that if you want to end it, then don't go on a date to a New Year Party. Go out for coffee or call him over, talk it out and end it there. Or just end it over the phone so he can actually have how little time he has to find another date for the party.
sugar_and_spice Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Yes. But imo it is better to break up in person.
dnm Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Finding a new date would be the least of his concerns in case she dumps him beforehand. Just tell him the problem; you need not sleep with him for him to find out.
Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 well, I'll only be seeing him a couple of hours before we're supposed to go to this party.
Phateless Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 well, I'll only be seeing him a couple of hours before we're supposed to go to this party. Call him now and let him enjoy the party. Dumping him RIGHT before the party is just rude. If you can't even level with him and communicate, what difference does it make if it's in person or over the phone?
Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 breaking up over the phone just doesn't seem right to me, that's all. I could break up after the party also, but that would just delay things.
Phateless Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 breaking up over the phone just doesn't seem right to me, that's all. I could break up after the party also, but that would just delay things. Shades of gray at this point. Meet him for coffee ASAP and do it then if you're more comfortable with that. If you refuse to communicate openly and honestly, then any other consideration is a moot point.
Author ella23 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 yes. It's very early morning here. I'll call him and ask him to meet me for coffee before this party, if he can. I guess it's better if I don't go there.
sugar_and_spice Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 (edited) You're choosing a terrible day to end it. Regardless of whether you dump your boyfriend in the morning or at night, you're going to mess up his evening. I suggest you hang on a day. Edited December 31, 2009 by sugar_and_spice
Die Hard Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 (edited) jesus christ are you people on drugs? You don't stay with someone because it's a bad day to break up or too close to a party. You do it when you decide you are going to break up. Period. You don'ty play with people's feelings and emotions just so the timing is right. some of you people just feed ella's nonsense. if you don't break up with him THE NEXT TIME YOU SPEAK TO HIM then you are just playing games, either with him, or us. for god's sake some of you I would swear have never been in a relationship but just pretend or something Edited December 31, 2009 by Die Hard
sugar_and_spice Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 jesus christ are you people on drugs? You don't stay with someone because it's a bad day to break up or too close to a party. You do it when you decide it needs to be done. Period. You don'ty play with people's feelings and emotions just so the timing is right. some of you people just feed ella's nonsense. if you don't break up with him THE NEXT TIME YOU SPEAK TO HIM then you are just playing games, either with him, or us. for god's sake some of you I would swear have never been in a relationship but just pretend or something Seems a bit nasty to me to do it on such a day, really. It's up to her ultimately, you and I can just give our opinions.
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