MRA_NYC Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 I never thought it would be so difficult to find women with decent values, but the Manhattan yuppie crowd is a desert in this regard. It's not uncommon for a woman to have been with a double-digit number of guys, and one-night-stands are commonplace in a woman's sexual history. Worse yet, even the relatively chaste women are judgmental of men without lots of sexual experience. If you're 25 and have slept with less than 5 women, most of them won't take you seriously. Obviously, there are exceptions to this, but they seem to be rare in Manhattan. Any New Yorkers (current or former) have advice on finding women with good values? I've tried looking in settings like bookstores, coffee shops, parks, and activity clubs, and it doesn't help that much. The women who get split open by badboys at night must, it turns out, go somewhere during the day... and by day, it's impossible to tell them apart from quirky, wholesome "girl next door" women. I call this the "daywalker" phenomenon. An exception: upper-middle-class black women (African-American and immigrant both) tend to be great in this department-- they have the ideal combination of political liberalism, cultural conservatism, and intelligence. I would love to meet more women like them. I also find them beautiful-- especially Somali and Ethiopian women.
pandagirl Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 i've lived in NYC for the past eight years. As a generalization, the people here move faster, but I would say all of my close friends are not like the woman you describe. Of course, they are married or in long term relationships. But, you are basing one's sexuality on being "good," which isn't really fair. I think you need to take sex out of the equation and realize that NYC is just a very difficult city to date if you want something REAL. It's a city full of people in arrested development, the essence of NYC is that you're always looking out for the next best thing, whether it's the new hot restaurant, apartment, job or girlfriend/boyfriend. As for myself, in the 8 years I've lived here, I haven't had a relationship go past three months, and have only slept with two people. I don't date much, because it's too much of a hassle. I would suggest the best way to find someone you match with is through friends or a hobby. good luck!
cognac Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 I have to agree completely with you OP. I live in NYC myself and just cannot keep up with the pace of the women here. They are so fast, hard to keep their attention, and lack virtually all foundamental values women should have. Women here are an absolute nightmare. Every single woman I have been with has had really disgusting sexual skeletons in their closet (some have mass graves), that go way beyond even hooking up with a random guy for a night. Girls I thought were wholesome girl next door types as you mentioned, were actually the filthiest little sluts around and I feel trying to date and have relationships with these women is offensive to my dignity.
Vertex Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 I used to live in NYC (briefly), and can say that these negative generalizations are a bit unfair. NYC is indeed very fast city -- always in a state of change -- but not all women are as you describe. While I do know a few NYC women who are pretty active, I know even more that are not. The environment of NYC is conducive to a pretty active sex life in the sense that there are a ton of people and countless places to meet them, but not everyone chooses to live that kind of lifestyle. Again, there are so many people in NYC -- you just have to understand the environment and figure out the best way to meet people who are more up your alley. Where you spend your time in the city (or anywhere) has a great impact on the type of people you meet.
pandagirl Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 I have to agree completely with you OP. I live in NYC myself and just cannot keep up with the pace of the women here. They are so fast, hard to keep their attention, and lack virtually all foundamental values women should have. Women here are an absolute nightmare. Every single woman I have been with has had really disgusting sexual skeletons in their closet (some have mass graves), that go way beyond even hooking up with a random guy for a night. Girls I thought were wholesome girl next door types as you mentioned, were actually the filthiest little sluts around and I feel trying to date and have relationships with these women is offensive to my dignity. Double. Standard. And the same exact thing can be said for men.
cognac Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Double. Standard. And the same exact thing can be said for men. Personally I think that upper middle class women (majority of women in Manhattan) are way more susceptible to being "turned on" and sleeping with scummy, mentally retarded, and many times criminal men, than affluent men are. Just my experience from barhopping throughout the city.
pandagirl Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Personally I think that upper middle class women (majority of women in Manhattan) are way more susceptible to being "turned on" and sleeping with scummy, mentally retarded, and many times criminal men, than affluent men are. Just my experience from barhopping throughout the city. And you don't think men are turned on by the like? Bars where everyone is drunk and on the prowl isn't the best way to evaluate a whole section of women. Men and women who are heavily into drinking and nightlife are probably more apt to look for that kind of lifestyle. As for me? You can find me on a weekend night at a nice dinner with friends, a show, or a relaxed bar in Brooklyn where you can actually hear yourself speak.
Author MRA_NYC Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 As for myself, in the 8 years I've lived here, I haven't had a relationship go past three months, and have only slept with two people. I don't date much, because it's too much of a hassle. I would suggest the best way to find someone you match with is through friends or a hobby. good luck! What ages did you live in New York? I came here at 22 and I'm 26 now.
Author MRA_NYC Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 I used to live in NYC (briefly), and can say that these negative generalizations are a bit unfair. NYC is indeed very fast city -- always in a state of change -- but not all women are as you describe. While I do know a few NYC women who are pretty active, I know even more that are not. The environment of NYC is conducive to a pretty active sex life in the sense that there are a ton of people and countless places to meet them, but not everyone chooses to live that kind of lifestyle. Again, there are so many people in NYC -- you just have to understand the environment and figure out the best way to meet people who are more up your alley. Where you spend your time in the city (or anywhere) has a great impact on the type of people you meet. Vertex, where did you find these great women? I'll be in New York for at least a couple years, so I'm interested in your observations. One thing I will say to New York's credit is that it's very diverse, which means that it's probably easier to meet great women here than in other East Coast cities.
Author MRA_NYC Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 Double. Standard. And the same exact thing can be said for men. I wish women were more judgmental of mens' sexual histories. I'm pro-family and anti-promiscuity, despite extreme liberalism and being fully pro-LGBT rights. There's no reason the slut/stud dichotomy should exist. The sooner women collectively realized that badboys were, in fact, just bad people, the happier all of us would be. Except the scumbags, of course.
cognac Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 And you don't think men are turned on by the like? Bars where everyone is drunk and on the prowl isn't the best way to evaluate a whole section of women. Men and women who are heavily into drinking and nightlife are probably more apt to look for that kind of lifestyle. As for me? You can find me on a weekend night at a nice dinner with friends, a show, or a relaxed bar in Brooklyn where you can actually hear yourself speak. One of the biggest problems in NYC is that it's impossible to get women to sit down with you for five minutes unless you are at a bar (or actually a male model/billionaire). They are always in a rush, moody or extremely standoffish. It's really hard to meet or talk to people in the city. I think women in NYC do not have any time because of their careers/hobbies/etc so they opt to compact their social/romantic life down to a weekend romp with a very very attractive man who they will never see again. Rinse and repeat.
Author MRA_NYC Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 Personally I think that upper middle class women (majority of women in Manhattan) are way more susceptible to being "turned on" and sleeping with scummy, mentally retarded, and many times criminal men, than affluent men are. Just my experience from barhopping throughout the city. It's a white American thing, at least as pertains to the upper-middle-class. You find much, much less of it among well-bred women overseas, and among black women as well as culturally Asian women (although the Sex and the City self-hating Asians are at least as bad as mainstream whites). For whatever reason, there are a lot of affluent but uncultured Americans who adopt the mannerisms of anti-intellectual, ill-bred trash-****ers. This can't be pinned on the "sexual revolution". Badboys were tearing women up even in the supposedly utopian (from an uninformed MRA perspective) 1950s. The problem goes back into the 1920s, if not earlier. Nor can it be blamed on feminism, which is still desperately needed despite the severe criminality of the perverts and radicals who hijacked the movement.
pandagirl Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 What ages did you live in New York? I came here at 22 and I'm 26 now. Moved when I was 23 and now I'm 31 --yikes! Can't believe it's been that long!
deux ex machina Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 How do you know their sexual history? That's pretty private information.
pandagirl Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 One of the biggest problems in NYC is that it's impossible to get women to sit down with you for five minutes unless you are at a bar (or actually a male model/billionaire). They are always in a rush, moody or extremely standoffish. It's really hard to meet or talk to people in the city. I think women in NYC do not have any time because of their careers/hobbies/etc so they opt to compact their social/romantic life down to a weekend romp with a very very attractive man who they will never see again. Rinse and repeat. This is true. I tried to think of an instance where I'd want to engage in conversation -- with someone I didn't already know -- and I couldn't. BUT, I think this is just the way NY works! It's not because WOMEN are standoffish or slutty, everyone is like that in NYC. I think the city is so compact, with so many people living in a small space, that we've all learned to create our own invisible personal space. It's an unspoken code. NO ONE makes eye contact in NYC. We don't want to be bothered.
Author MRA_NYC Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 One of the biggest problems in NYC is that it's impossible to get women to sit down with you for five minutes unless you are at a bar (or actually a male model/billionaire). They are always in a rush, moody or extremely standoffish. It's really hard to meet or talk to people in the city. I think women in NYC do not have any time because of their careers/hobbies/etc so they opt to compact their social/romantic life down to a weekend romp with a very very attractive man who they will never see again. Rinse and repeat. "Busy" is just an excuse. If she thought you were worth her time, she'd make time for you. I'm busier than most of these girls are. It's just an air. The real issue is that New York provides an illusion of infinite choice, which means a lot of people refuse to take any individual person seriously. But what good is an infinite stream of suitors if none of them will take you seriously? None. So it's a massive fraud, in the end. It sucks for the same reason online dating does.
Johnny M Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 An exception: upper-middle-class black women (African-American and immigrant both) tend to be great in this department-- they have the ideal combination of political liberalism, cultural conservatism, and intelligence. I would love to meet more women like them. I also find them beautiful-- especially Somali and Ethiopian women. Harlem is just up the street from Manhattan, you know. Go crazy
DustySaltus Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I've lived in NYC most of my life and I absolutely know where you are coming from. Here are some of the types of women I've found: 1. The Bar Fly- Goes out every night because they hate to be alone. I've learned that if you meet a "good" girl at a bar on a Monday night, it's usually because they have a drinking problem. 2. Mrs. High Standard (intellectually)- Unless you have two masters degrees and are working on a third, it was over before it even started. 3. Mrs. High Standard (physically)- YOU: 6'4" 215, blonde hair, blue eyes or next.... 4. Mrs. High Standard (financially)- If you aren't taking her to TAO, you're out of luck. 5. Any combination of 2,3 & 4. 6. Actress/Model/Part Time Waitress, only available to see you on Monday afternoons from 130-230. 7. Full time job/Part time student, only available traveling between the two lol. 8. Baby Mama Drama, always pops up if you go out on enough dates in the city. 9. Career Student, needs to finance a cup of coffee, looking for a sugar daddy. 10. The one who is always looking for the next best thing.... Many others, but i've had a lot of turkey and i'm tired
Johnny M Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I have a question to all the unhappy New Yorkers posting their whiny comments in this thread. Why have you chosen (and continue choosing) to live in that disgusting, filthy place? Seriously, why do it? Sure, if you work in the financial industry, you can make more money on Wall Street than in any other American city. But once you factor in the exorbitant cost of living, you are hardly ahead. Plus, you condemn yourself to a life (if you can even call this futile existence a 'life') in an ugly, dirty city filled with thoroughly unpleasant people. The only logical conclusion is that you're all either retarded or masochistic.
gtrguy Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 This was excellent!!! Also live in NYC and could not agree more. NYC pretty much destroyed my last real relationship. I got the girl a job here and all hell broke loose once she started working here and associated with the 27yo+ women at work who would go through guys like candy.. Or guys would go through them.. You get the point I've lived in NYC most of my life and I absolutely know where you are coming from. Here are some of the types of women I've found: 1. The Bar Fly- Goes out every night because they hate to be alone. I've learned that if you meet a "good" girl at a bar on a Monday night, it's usually because they have a drinking problem. 2. Mrs. High Standard (intellectually)- Unless you have two masters degrees and are working on a third, it was over before it even started. 3. Mrs. High Standard (physically)- YOU: 6'4" 215, blonde hair, blue eyes or next.... 4. Mrs. High Standard (financially)- If you aren't taking her to TAO, you're out of luck. 5. Any combination of 2,3 & 4. 6. Actress/Model/Part Time Waitress, only available to see you on Monday afternoons from 130-230. 7. Full time job/Part time student, only available traveling between the two lol. 8. Baby Mama Drama, always pops up if you go out on enough dates in the city. 9. Career Student, needs to finance a cup of coffee, looking for a sugar daddy. 10. The one who is always looking for the next best thing.... Many others, but i've had a lot of turkey and i'm tired
thegreatmoose Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I have a question to all the unhappy New Yorkers posting their whiny comments in this thread. Why have you chosen (and continue choosing) to live in that disgusting, filthy place? Seriously, why do it? Sure, if you work in the financial industry, you can make more money on Wall Street than in any other American city. But once you factor in the exorbitant cost of living, you are hardly ahead. Plus, you condemn yourself to a life (if you can even call this futile existence a 'life') in an ugly, dirty city filled with thoroughly unpleasant people. The only logical conclusion is that you're all either retarded or masochistic. What do you have against New York? It is a great place. You can find something negative about any city if you feel like.
alphamale Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Obviously, there are exceptions to this, but they seem to be rare in Manhattan. indeed, about as rare as finding a hooker in a nunnery
Johnny M Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 What do you have against New York? It is a great place. You can find something negative about any city if you feel like. Careful, don't hurt your eyes. And read the damn post before you start yakking. This thread is full of people complaing about how much New York sucks.
thegreatmoose Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Careful, don't hurt your eyes. And read the damn post before you start yakking. This thread is full of people complaing about how much New York sucks. I read the post, thank you. I'm allowed my opinions on New York too. New York is not for everybody, but neither is the middle of Alabama.
Johnny M Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I read the post, thank you. I'm allowed my opinions on New York too. New York is not for everybody, but neither is the middle of Alabama. So your reading skills are okay. I guess it's the comprehension part that's the problem.
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