tryagaintoday Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 "If I cannot be with my AP then I want to have a happy marriage with my H" - your words. Then if you can be with you AP, there'll be no doubt that you'll send your sorry H's arse out before he knows it. You're not even sorry. Stop lying to yourself and set your husband free. I'm sorry but this is extremely selfish. Pls let him go, then you grow up and become a better person. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Well...the the absence of physical intimacy came BEFORE she had an affair...so..if she said to her husband the OM is not the reason, that is not entirely false, is it? Of course, she also expected the OM to still be with her even after the divorce....and now that he is gone...why shouldn't she take her husband's offer to rebuild their marriage? to work on it? She has that option-even if some of you didn't. So, Apple31, mourn the end of your affair...you will miss him, you will hurt more...but dont forget your husband--he too will mourn the loss of that person he knew from way back...the faithful wife, friend, etc.etc..so don't take too long to heal your broken heart, your husband might also heal his and he might decide you are just not worth a second chance... Because her husband doesn't know she was cheating on him and only decided to work on the marriage after her cheater decided to not come back Now come on, no one is that dumb to think this is OK to do?! Now are they?! Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Because her husband doesn't know she was cheating on him and only decided to work on the marriage after her cheater decided to not come back Now come on, no one is that dumb to think this is OK to do?! Now are they?! apparently someone IS Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 I agree with so many others -- your H doesn't deserve the crap you are feeding him. You were divorcing him to be with the MM. FACE IT, OWN IT. You decided since the MM is staying with his wife, NOW you want to make your marriage work. FACE IT, OWN IT. Stop lying to your husband, yourself and us. At least be HONEST with someone. You would go running back to the MM if he called. You do not want your marriage, you just need a man to support you, take care of you, etc. I frankly LOVE Dexter's posts. They are honest, they are truthful and while at times harsh, they are usually spot on regarding affairs. No person should be stuck with a cheater because the cheater is lying to them about 'rebuilding' the marriage, all the while boo-hooing over the end of an affair. It is not fair to the spouse to be 2nd choice, because that IS what they are. IF the MM had left, the majority of the OW who are now saying they want to rebuild their marriage, these OW would be with them. I appreciate Dexter's honesty and his take no prisoner's approach. Some people NEED to really hear it and not have it glossed over with "its okay, you are better than the wife, he only stayed for the kids, he still loves you and probably always will" posts. Cheating is a subject that doesn't have much 'gray' area. It is for many people black and white. Cheating = bad *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
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