She tells my friend she interested in me but not interested in me.

[Lost-n-confused]

I actually just thought about it some more

 

You are a 24 yr old virgin

 

Dont be yourself.

 

Do what I told you to do:)

 

Be myself.. Don't be myself. I'm screwed. I just want her to like me for me.

 

Gez maybe I should visit an escort a few times and get some experence. Joking if course.

[jerseyboy]

Be myself.. Don't be myself. I'm screwed. I just want her to like me for me.

 

Gez maybe I should visit an escort a few times and get some experence. Joking if course.

 

 

Its a good idea actually.

 

I would do it if I was you.

 

If you can find a semi clean one lol

 

Or if this girl says no, offer her $500 and say what about now

[Yukikazi]

I agree with Jersey.. so far so good but you need to turn up the heat.. your gonna sink if you don't kiss her next time. You should have tried it this time... to hell with your mommys friend.. they can wait.

 

Don't go immediately into another date.. you look like you got absolutely nothing else to do with your time other then spend it with her.. looks needy/clingy like you got no life.

 

Next time.. start out somewhere requiring walking and take her hand.. mall, street/window shopping etc. Next date.. do NOT compliment her on her looks first.. say something about her personality or attitude or outlook or whatever. If she is dressing up she will be expecting a looks compliment early on.. hold off a little.. adds mystery. Like once you get her out in public.. then say whatever about her looks and leave it at that.. don't harp on them.

[Lost-n-confused]

Its a good idea actually.

 

I would do it if I was you.

 

If you can find a semi clean one lol

 

Or if this girl says no, offer her $500 and say what about now

 

I can't morally do it for one. Second, I want to loose it

to someone I have feelings for so it's special and memorable. Finally I can't afford it.

 

Plus I'm seriously scared of stds.

[Lost-n-confused]

I agree with Jersey.. so far so good but you need to turn up the heat.. your gonna sink if you don't kiss her next time. You should have tried it this time... to hell with your mommys friend.. they can wait.

 

Don't go immediately into another date.. you look like you got absolutely nothing else to do with your time other then spend it with her.. looks needy/clingy like you got no life.

 

Next time.. start out somewhere requiring walking and take her hand.. mall, street/window shopping etc. Next date.. do NOT compliment her on her looks first.. say something about her personality or attitude or outlook or whatever. If she is dressing up she will be expecting a looks compliment early on.. hold off a little.. adds mystery. Like once you get her out in public.. then say whatever about her looks and leave it at that.. don't harp on them.

 

I deff complimented her halfway through the date. I couldn't kiss her with her moms friend just sitting there stareing at us. Would of made things awkard and made me uncomfortable.

 

So when should I contact her? Should I call her about bowling? It's not realy a date but would be a group thing. When I texted her I said talk to you soon. Should I wait for her to contact me?

 

In responce to what jerseyboy said about saying "I hope you had a good time." I just want her to know that I wanted her to have a good time. Just trying to show her a goodtime.

[Yukikazi]

I can't morally do it for one. Second, I want to loose it

to someone I have feelings for so it's special and memorable. Finally I can't afford it.

 

Plus I'm seriously scared of stds.

 

I can relate to this.. but dude.. the second reason you got..

Seriously.. you gotta bury that one.. you're putting sex on a pedestal as the epitome of all.. its not a big deal. And no I'm not saying to get a hooker..

 

I'm betting you are both anxious to do it yet terrified of when it happens having heard all the stories of first time disasters.. scared of meeting a girl with more experience who will notice your lack of experience..

well guess what.. you need to accept the fact that the first time will suck.. its that simple.. the more you build it up.. the larger the crash..

 

Don't build it up to much and you will be more relaxed and not as stressed over it when it does happen.

[Ms. Joolie]

Lost,

 

You had a perfect second date, as perfect as can be asked for. What strikes me about your first and second dates is that you are a such a gentleman. Your virgin status does not let you see woman as sex objects - and so you really are treating her as a person. It's so touching, and sweet... HOWEVER...

 

If I were the woman, I would definitely notice this gentlemanly behavior. I would notice that you weren't being very sexual with me, and that's not a bad thing! Finally a guy who can control himself. lol. But my thoughts would be along these lines as well:

 

- Maybe he doesn't have a lot of experience with woman.

- Maybe he doesn't desire me sexually, or just doesn't have an agressive sex drive.

- And definitely I'd be thinking that you are a "good guy"....

 

I would then think about what sort of relationship we were going to have. In short, you need to decide now how you want this relationship to go. You need to decide how you are going to let this woman know you'd like to be her romantic partner. Decide exactly what type of romantic partner you are going to be.

 

How are you going to get yourself out of this friendly zone you are in and turn the relationship into something more? How are you going to let her know that you want more, that you are not just her friend but you want to be her SO, her romantic partner?

 

How you handle this relationship now is entirely up to you, up to what you want, up to how she plays along.

 

So think about what you want. Keep thinking about that first kiss with her, and of course think about the sex, about when you are going to initiate that with her.

 

Two more things:

 

1) About The Relationship

If she is interested in you, you will have no problem getting another date with her. What you need to do now is set the course in the relationship, direct it to where you want it to go. It takes two to make a relationship, so be attentive to her wants and needs.

 

2) About Your Sex Life

She is a beautiful woman, she sounds lovely, healthy and fit - you want sex with her. IF YOU DON'T WANT SEX WITH HER, YOU ARE JUST HER FRIEND.

 

Now this is an issue for you of course, the wanting sex, because you're a virgin. However, having sex is not hard at all. It's very natural and will just happen when the moment is right. After you have sex, then it's only about being a good lover.

 

You just have to cross that line. You have to want it, do it. Your 24, it's time to become a man.

 

So go find out wht it's like to be with a woman - be a man, and give her what you got.

 

On your time, of course... but you do have to want it. Or you will be forever be stuck in the friend zone.

[Yukikazi]

Joolie.. out of curiosity.. how long or how many chances do you give a guy to escalate it towards the sexual before you drop them in the friend bin?

Does it vary or is there an unspoken length or time among women?

[Ms. Joolie]

Joolie.. out of curiosity.. how long or how many chances do you give a guy to escalate it towards the sexual before you drop them in the friend bin?

Does it vary or is there an unspoken length or time among women?

 

Unless we are having sex, he's just a friend. lol

[MaxNY]

Unless we are having sex, he's just a friend. lol

you are nuts, now women want quick sex or they friend you, yeesh and they wonder why men are jerks nowadays

[Lost-n-confused]

I have deffinatly had thoughs about having sex with her and I do want it o so bad. The though of our hot bodies intertwined gets me all hot blooded. While we were at dinner she was looking at me talking and I started to think about how bad I wanted to kiss her and do other naughty things. I don't know if girls can pick up on that or not.

 

I want to establish a romantic relationship and work into sex because I'm scared of sex. I don't want to have sex without a relationship and have her lose interest because I'm inexperenced. If she had feeling for me first and I had feelings for her it would make the first time easier and she would be more willing to work with me after.

 

Heck I've never even made out with a girl.

 

I like jerseyboys idea about saying "a guy could have alot of fun with a girl like you". She has a photo on the wall of her in bikini at a fitness show. Next Im at her place I could say "a guy could have alot of fun with a body like that". I don't want to sound creepy thou.

[Yukikazi]

I have deffinatly had thoughs about having sex with her and I do want it o so bad. The though of our hot bodies intertwined gets me all hot blooded. While we were at dinner she was looking at me talking and I started to think about how bad I wanted to kiss her and do other naughty things. I don't know if girls can pick up on that or not.

 

Rest assured.. they can

[Lost-n-confused]

you are nuts, now women want quick sex or they friend you, yeesh and they wonder why men are jerks nowadays

 

So how do tell if she wants sex? Is she just waiting? We have never realy been alone as we both live with our parents. If I could get past the first kiss and get her over my place when my parents are gone and they frequently are and I have the house to myself for the night Id love to cook her a romantic dinner and cuttle up infront of a movie (never done that either) and make a move after that. Really I have no clue on how to seduce a girl.

[Zaraki]

The cancer comment you may be coming off as desperate. Or she pereceives you that way. Hard to say. Ie you are trying too hard.

 

Also dont ask so much. It isnt horrible but..... Also stop asking her if she enjoys everything. Feel free to say it yourself as in I had a great time, but thats it. Comes off as desperate and sets a tone even if she does like you.

 

You definitely need to turn up the heat.

 

And dont tell her you are a virgin. And when all the chicks chime in to tell you that you should, ignore them and dont tell her anyway. Tell her after if you must. You are 24, its no longer "cute"

 

You need to start moving the convos to sex. That doesnt mean tlaking about other girls, or how great so and so was at...Its ambigious, you dont mention other people. She may, cause women can be clueless, but that doesnt mean you should. And you dont have to be graphic or piggish about it, although thats not always bad:)

 

Be clever and just barely subtle. Off the top of my head instead of telling her how beautiful she is "yet again", which they are all used to hearing anyway from guys, you could look at her and mischievously and say soemthing like " A boy could really have a lot of fun with you"

 

However counter intuitive it may sound, its a lot more "natural" for a guy to demonstrate sexual interest verbally than it is to be around some guy who looks like hes about to profess his undying love after a few dates. The latter is a lot creepier, and leaves them wondering wtf is his issue really, even if they like you as well. Resist that urge lol

 

She wants to feel desirable. She wants to know she can get a rise out of you. It isnt going to insult her. She is cautious as to whether thats all you want, or all you think of her as. It cant all be about that. Find a middle ground if this is a girl you really like.

 

Again, just off the top of my head (you have to be you), and if you find it very difficult to turn the convo, you can let it slip you dreamed about her last night, like if you are talking about last night, along the lines of "you dont make it easy for a guy to rest at night, even when I was sleeping you kept popping into my dreams." Make it clear it wouldnt be a "pg" conversation. Along thos lines. Do what works for you, see how she reacts.

 

jerseyboy knows what he is talking about.

[Lost-n-confused]

Can I turn up the heat before I kiss her? I really like jerseyboys advice on turning up the heat. The whole cancer comment is confusing and I'm just going to ignore it. No sence over thinking it.

 

Yesterday I called her to go bowling she couldn't go because she had to study she got off the phone quickly and told me she would call me back. She never did. So my friend who original told me she was interested but not interest told me to call her back (also said I was acting despret that one time, so I was resistant to call her back). Yet I did and she didn't answer when I called. So I get to the bowling ally and my firend said she didn't pick up for his girlfirend either. Then he tells me her ex was on a team and bowled during the weekends, guess she's not over him. Anyways she just called and I didn't answer going to wait a few hours. Don't know what to say to her either. I want to ask her when I'll see her again. Want to set something up.

[dreamergrl]

So many games.

[Yukikazi]

Sad but true.. both genders are guilty of playing and causing the need for them

[Lost-n-confused]

Yea but if call her and we go out again and I say to her "hey I really like you. I find you very sexual attractive and love your personality. I'd like to persue a relationship". I'd love to be that up front but I'd probably fail.

[dreamergrl]

You are going to be playing these games for a long long time if you don't work up the courage to do something about what it is you want.

 

If she's not over her ex, move on. Find another girl to date.

[Ms. Joolie]

The Cancer comment was cute! I like it! Lately I've been aware of something called "Kabbalistic Astrology", there is a class coming up on it that I'm going to go to. Can't wait to hear what they say and learn about it. So, yeah, I find the whole zodiac system intriguing.

 

The fact that she brought up your sign could be silly and trivial or something she believes in. Ask her about it. It will make good conversation.

 

Also.... you are totally in the game now with her. You are at the point of if she is interested in you, she will date you, and if not interested you will have a really hard time in getting her to date you. Just see how it goes, sees how receptive she is to dating you.

 

Oh, and I call it a game, but I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean that life is a game, so don't beat yourself up over it. Live and enjoy!

[thegreatmoose]

Sad but true.. both genders are guilty of playing and causing the need for them

It's that many people intentionally play these games. Some are males and some are females. Dating is hard enough without them. I get the impression that those with more options are the most likely to insist on constantly playing these games. You call one time too few and they insist that you're not interested. You call one time too many and oh boy will they be mad and it's a given that everything will be over.

 

Game players absolutely resent and look down at non game players. That's what I've observed.

[Lost-n-confused]

So I called her back. She told me about her busy day. Asked her about jetsking but she couldn't go because she had to study. I told her I called her back last night about bowling and she said she didn't answer my call or my friends gf because she said no already. She told me she figured they had me calling again trying to get her to come. So she probably doesn't think I'm acting despret. I told her I was trying to entice her to come out for a few hours to jetski but she was to busy. She then told me that school will be out soon. My gut tells me she was saying hang on till schools out and we will have more time. My mom says the fact that she called me back today and told me about school ending was her say of saying "hey I'm still here don't forget about me". I told her "I'll let you get back to studing and I'll call you later this week". She told me ok have fun.

 

So later this week I'll call her and try to set something up. Trying to figure out a simple romantic date to set the mood for the first kiss. I also want to some how get it in her mind that I want a sexual relationship with her.

[dreamergrl]

For real.... you are putting in way too much work and games to this. Why?? She seems to have a lot of reasons and excuses for not being able to go. It isn't suppose to be so hard.

[Lost-n-confused]

For real.... you are putting in way too much work and games to this. Why?? She seems to have a lot of reasons and excuses for not being able to go. It isn't suppose to be so hard.

 

They are legitment thou. She told me a week ago that Saturday and Sunday she would be busy. On our date Friday she told me she wants to go jetsking again, I told her about going Sunday she told me then she was busy. She works a full time job as a personal trainer and has a full college scedual and has to find time to keep her fine body in tune, shop for food for her family and cook for them. She worked till 7pm on Friday and had to getup at 5 the next day yet she still found time to go out with me.

 

The fact that she called me back even thou I never found out why tells me she doesn't want me to lose interest. Same with telling me schools ending.

 

It's like when the little girl pinches the boy in the school yard and he chases

her. She pinched me today. Plus we talked about that on our date, I even mentioned that example. She agreed.

 

Sadly it's a game and until I kiss her and she returns the effection or rejects me it will remain a game.

[Ms. Joolie]

For real.... you are putting in way too much work and games to this. Why?? She seems to have a lot of reasons and excuses for not being able to go. It isn't suppose to be so hard.

 

I don't think he's putting way too much work into this... he's kinda new to the whole dating/flirting/relatoniship scene. So it's okay. Actually... I admire him for putting so much thought into it. He's such a good guy.

 

I hope he gets the girl. I'm rooting for him.