She tells my friend she interested in me but not interested in me.

[Lost-n-confused]

I told her to contact me when I said hit me up and let me know. I really don't want to contact her and seem desperate. I'm still very unsure if shes interested in me or not.

[carhill]

'I'm going to xxx movie on Friday night and would love for you to join me. I'll be by at xxx to pick you up. Sound good?'

 

Water under the bridge now, but save for future use. You 'hang with' and 'hit up' female friends, not dates. You want to date her. Take the lead. If she's a no go, move to the next name on the list. Smile. Lotsa fish

[DustySaltus]

Call her tomorrow and ask what time is ok to pick her up. No texts. She specifically told you there's "no one else" coming....she's telling herself that it's ok to go on a date with you...that's a very good sign. Now if she goes back on her own plans, let it alone.

 

Again, call her and ask...good luck.

[Ms. Joolie]

I told her to contact me when I said hit me up and let me know. I really don't want to contact her and seem desperate. I'm still very unsure if shes interested in me or not.

 

She showed interest in you when she mentioned a movie on Friday, and seeing if you wanted to go. It will be interesting to see what she does with that invite. But if she doesn't contact you by tonight, contact her. It's not desperate, it's communication about plans for tomorrow that she wanted to involve you in.

 

Don't worry about whether or not she's interested in you. Rather, be confident that you are a likable guy. Confidence!

[Lost-n-confused]

I'm conflicted on when to call her. Not sure if it's a date either. I getoff at 6 and she gets off around 8:45. Figure I'd call her around 6:30 and leave a message saying "hey am I meeting you at the movies or picking you up?".

[DustySaltus]

I'm conflicted on when to call her. Not sure if it's a date either. I getoff at 6 and she gets off around 8:45. Figure I'd call her around 6:30 and leave a message saying "hey am I meeting you at the movies or picking you up?".

 

Call her before she starts work.

[Lost-n-confused]

Going to call her in a couple of hours. Regardless of whether I talked to her or leave a message I wanted to run by everyone what Im planned on saying.

 

Option A. "Hey are we still on for the movie? If so are we meeting there or am I picking you up?' (This one is kinda of wimpy but has no pressure added to it. So if shes not sure if its a date and is still trying to get to know me it wont scare her off.

 

Option B. Hey about the movie am I picking you up or meeting you there? (Not as wimpy but still not really much pressure, shouldn't scare her off)

 

Option C. Hey what time am I picking you up for the movie? (Much more bold, could scare her off if she doesn't want it to be a date. Yet my intentions would be stated that I want this to be a date or that I'm still interested. She could get scared off or not. Deff should help avoid getting into the friend zone!)

 

I like option C.

 

Whats your opinions?

[carhill]

'The movie starts at xxx. I'll be by at xxx to pick you up. Looking forward to it!'

[VeveCakes]

Going to call her in a couple of hours. Regardless of whether I talked to her or leave a message I wanted to run by everyone what Im planned on saying.

 

Option A. "Hey are we still on for the movie? If so are we meeting there or am I picking you up?' (This one is kinda of wimpy but has no pressure added to it. So if shes not sure if its a date and is still trying to get to know me it wont scare her off.

 

Option B. Hey about the movie am I picking you up or meeting you there? (Not as wimpy but still not really much pressure, shouldn't scare her off)

 

Option C. Hey what time am I picking you up for the movie? (Much more bold, could scare her off if she doesn't want it to be a date. Yet my intentions would be stated that I want this to be a date or that I'm still interested. She could get scared off or not. Deff should help avoid getting into the friend zone!)

 

I like option C.

 

Whats your opinions?

 

 

I like a variety of C...just the first line. He what's up,...etc so what time do you want me to pick you up for that movie tonight?

[Lost-n-confused]

She called back I'm picking her up once we are both done with the gym. I'm so nervous. I'm just going to treat it like a date even thou I don't know if it is. Going to try and pay for her movie. See how she reacts. Not going to make a move or anything. Don't want to mess things up. This could very well be a first date.

Edited November 20, 2009 by Lost-n-confused

[carhill]

If you feel like 'making a move', you make a move. I smack you otherwise.

 

What I'm hearing from you is what I used to do when pedestal-building. Like she is some goddess I must worship and be deferential to and tiptoe around. Unhealthy. Try something else...

[Lost-n-confused]

Whats considered a move? Holding hands, arm around the shoulder, kiss when shes leaving my car. Im shy about this. I kinda want to feel things out. How do I know when is the right time? I figure during the movie I wont try anything but if we have to cross the street ill just grab her hand.

 

What signals do I look for? If she sents them and I dont respond will I mess things up? Ive heard most women give men a second chance.

 

Remeber this girl is just getting over a bad break up. She seems to be cautious as not to get hurt again. So maybe taking things slow is good.

[carhill]

It's pretty simple. She's already decided whether she finds you attractive or not. If not and you are just a time filler, nothing you do will make a difference. Better to find that out right away. If so, she'll respond positively and perhaps flirtatiously to any polite moves (not groping, tongue knotting, etc) you make, even if she's not ready for anything serious.

 

IMO, stick to simple stuff; guide her through doors with your hand, put your arm around her in the theater; touch her leg as you accentuate some of your conversations; think like you want her close to you (if that's what you want). Slowly build the intimacy over the evening, taking breaks here and there. Keep things light. Focus on the activity and the good time you're having with her, but maintain physical presence and contact.

 

You're not proposing marriage here and planning children and retirement; you're going on one date. Get to know her and have a good time, but be a man and feel your maleness. It really does work.

[Lost-n-confused]

It was a date!!!

 

I show up at her door and she looked amazing. I was looking good to she even said so. She gives me the tour of her place. Asked me about her outfit to which I said to her you look gorgous. So we head off to the movie theather. We get there and the 9 o clock is soldout. I get tickets for the later show. We go over to a bar and have a few drinks. The conversation was great. We talked we flirted abit back and forth. The whole time our faces were about 6 inches away. Yea the music was loud but It wasn't always that loud.

 

As for physical contact. She said she had some bodyfat she trying to lose and I was like where and she pinched her arm so I started pinching her arm and teased her. She started to talk about dry wine and told her I was clueless she put her hand on my back and rubbed and said aww I'll teach you little one. So after about 3 vodka tonics and a shot of patron each and 90 dollar well spent we moved to the movies. On the way there I asked if her contacts are her natural color and she said yes so I told her that her eyes are beautiful. As we moved through the crowed she grabbed my arm and I kinda pulled her close. It only lasted for a min but as she let go I ran my fingers down her arm and brushed her fingers. God I wanted to hold her hand so bad. During the movie She touched my arm and said I have nice biceps. I had to get up to use the bathroom before I got up I placed my hand on her leg then told her I had to get up.

 

The for the most part of the movie we sat leaning close to each other. For a bit we leaned on each other. Occationally we would chat and it seemed we were only a few inches away, the eye contact was very strong.

 

After the movie we walked to the car I wanted to grab her arm but I wasn't man enough. When we walked to and from the car and there was traffic I would gently place my hand on her lower back or arm and glently guide her to safety.

 

I messed up at the end and said something so stupid. I park outside of her house and we talked for a bit and I said I'd walk you to your door but it's right there. I thought to myself idiot. Then we did the Latin girl kiss on the cheek and she said she had a good time. I said to her hope we can do it again. She then said unenthuasticly sure, drive home safe.

 

I left feeling like I blew it. There's no chance of a relationship.

 

10 mins later I get a text "thank you for a good nite I had a good time :)drive safey" I responed with "I'm glad you had a good time. It was a good nite."

 

now I'm waiting to see if she calls over the next few days. If not I'll call her Wednesday and ask her out again.

Edited November 21, 2009 by Lost-n-confused

[VeveCakes]

Yayyyy I'm so happy for you! Sounds like you did a great job and had a great night

[carhill]

I left feeling like I blew it. There's no chance of a relationship.

 

And therein lies your problem. Re-read the post and see what I mean. Then take a look in the mirror. Ask yourself why you took a positive experience and made it end feeling negative.

[Balthazar]

Didn't read the whole 4-page thread...not sure I had to anyway.

 

Date was Ok I think...you should have built up enough romantic tension though to go for the kiss at the end.

 

If you get another chance(('m rooting for you..) make sure you go for a kiss.

Whatever you do, make your sexual interest in her known!

Do you tolerate going out with her as a friend(unless you want a friend that is...)!

 

Cheers,

[Lost-n-confused]

I know I'm very hard on myself. I tend to over analyze everything and have been trying to relax and stop over thinking things. I should of mentioned after I got the text how relieved I was and felt that things weren't hopeless after all.

 

I'm more nervous now that the date is over then I was during the date. This is the first girl I have ever liked that Ive taken out. I liked her from the moment I first laid my eyes on her. I defiantly felt some chemistry on the date, we are attracted to each other physically, we have great interesting conversation and laughed a lot. I still remember her smile and giggle. I remember when we looked into each others eyes I feel this feeling deep in my chest like something was being emitted from her eyes going right into my soul. I cant stop thinking about last night. I just hope shes thinking about it right now as well. I hope its not single sided.

 

So does this sound like a date?

Did it sound like it went well?

Does she sound interested in me now?

 

I think so... I hope so.

[Lost-n-confused]

Didn't read the whole 4-page thread...not sure I had to anyway.

 

Date was Ok I think...you should have built up enough romantic tension though to go for the kiss at the end.

 

If you get another chance(('m rooting for you..) make sure you go for a kiss.

Whatever you do, make your sexual interest in her known!

Do you tolerate going out with her as a friend(unless you want a friend that is...)!

 

Cheers,

 

This is really the first time Ive ever done anything like this. I wanted to kiss her but I'm scared too. Didn't want to make a move too soon. She did just get out of relationship and had her heart broke. I'm going to try and hold her hand next time if I get a second date. If the hand holding goes well I will kiss her. Even if its a peck on the lips.

[Balthazar]

Ok, follow this routine.

 

Take her hand in yours, say you want to look at something(maybe search for a double jointed thumb or something), doesn't matter...purpose is to hold her hand.

Let her hand go after finding out what you wanted.

A few minutes later, massage her neck and back a bit. Comment that she seems "loose", even if she doesn't.

Get a bit closer, and be completely relaxed. Look into her eyes with that dreamy look(some alcohol will help you get this look- do not get drunk though!).

 

Smell the air and ask if she is wearing perfume. Then move in and smell her neck.Do not kiss her! Not yet!

 

Rub her arm a little bit and comment on how relaxed and loose you feel around her.

You may have to repeat some of these actions, but after a while she will be into it or not.

If she seems into it when you have shared a laugh with her, gently approach her and kiss her on the lips.

If she turns away from your kiss, plant a soft, romantic 3 second kiss on her cheek. If she reacts well to this, move further down and kiss her softly on her neck.

 

DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING!

I repeat

DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING!

 

You are a man and she's a woman. Do this routine with her and I guarantee if their is attraction on her part, she will show something.

 

21st century men have forgotten what it is like to romance women. We use too many words and too few actions.

Remember a woman judges you by your actions and by how you make her feel...forget logic-use emotion and your feelings for her!

 

Above all, make sure you both enjoy yourselves!

 

GOOD LUCK MY MAN!

[Lost-n-confused]

If last night was the first date I was really feeling her out. Remember this girl told me she wasn't looking for a relationship. Then the whole shes interested but not interested **** my friend told me. I was mainly trying to figure out is this a date or not? I had to respect the girl shes just getting over a bad breakup.

[Balthazar]

Is it a date or not?

 

It is what you make it....

 

If you treat it as a friendly get-together then that is what you two are...friends.

 

If you treat it as a date...well, then you may be something more with this lady.

 

If you expect her to lead, you will be "friend-zoned", have no doubts about this.

 

The choice is yours,

[Lost-n-confused]

What makes a date a date?

 

-Does making flirtatious comments like you look gorgeous and you have beautiful eyes something you say on a date or a friendly get together?

-Does footing the bill without asking or hesitating something you do with a friend?

-Do you gaze into your friends eyes?

-Do you tell your friend you had a great time and hope to do it again?

 

Once again I’m lost-n-confused.

 

You read what happened does that sound like a date. I have no real dating experience. I don’t know how to build up sexual tension.

 

What happened happened the real question is what do I do now? Do I call her? When do I call her? What do I say?

 

My instinct tells me to wait a few more days to give her a chance to reflect on the night. Call her Monday and regardless if I speak to her or leave a message I need to tell her that I had a great time and I want to take her out again.

[Zaraki]

First of all, I am the last person to ask for dating advice because I am somewhat in the same bind as you. The major difference is that I am at a younger age, 20 years old to be exact. I still believe that I can help you though.

 

I have read a lot about dating and attraction and there are some things that can be improved. In your conversation descriptions, there is too much boring nice guy talk. What I mean by that is there should have been more joking around, like "busting her balls" sort of. For example, when you said this:

I responed with "I'm glad you had a good time. It was a good nite."

Instead of responding with that, I think it would have been better responding with something like this: "No problem, next time I am charging you for it ;)"

 

You see the difference between the original text and the one I created? The original is boring and the usual unoriginal sentence that everyone knows about, while the later one is different and interesting. There are many better ways to have said it. I obviously need some help with it also. hahah Just trying to prove a point and help you out.

 

I am glad you got this far. I am going to ask for a girls phone number on Monday. It's going to be a success! Good luck with you.

Edited November 22, 2009 by Zaraki

[Balthazar]

I get the feeling you are sexually inexperienced....

 

You absolutely need to get a few lays under your belt if you ever hope to comfortable around women.

 

You have to understand that they want you to be a man and they want you to take them and make them feel like women.

 

Words by themselves mean nothing. You must do the stuff I told you together with the whispering of sweet nothings in her ear.

 

Remember, this woman WANTS a man who will make her forget about her ex and make her feel sexy and desired.

 

Do not wonder if it was a date!

As I told you before...it is what you make it!

 

What to do next?

Easy.

 

You call her up and tell her you'll pick her up for drinks on Thursday or Friday(call her on Tuesday).

If she accepts, pick her up at her place and take her a quiet romantic bar where the music is not too loud.

Sit her down and get her juices flowing MAN!

 

Do not think too much..just let your feelings for this woman guide you.

Again, just do the stuff I mentioned!