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She tells my friend she interested in me but not interested in me.

Lost-n-confused

By Lost-n-confused
in Dating

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Yukikazi Established Member

Yukikazi

Posted
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I think OP's 'girl' is the type to accept his company just because. Not because she's interested. Maybe not for something free, but for something to do. So OP will be sitting here, pining after her, and for what?

 

Ahh but she is getting the OP's company for free..

least I'm not seeing how she is "paying" for all the attention he is lavishing on her...

 

Soon he will understand that its give and take.. not give, give, give.

 

--------------------

OP consider all the time and effort you have put into trying to get this relationship going...

 

Now try to compare your efforts to hers. Do they balance? Is the effort you are putting into this equal or < > the effort she has?

 

On a scale of 1-10.. you are probably putting forth effort at about lvl 8

From what you have told us.. she is maybe a 3 (2 points for actually going out with you twice)

Ody Established Member

Ody

Posted
Posted
Or the other kind that he will eventually run into.. the type that will ask for drinks from guys then walk away once they got them.. the ones that find it entertaining to string a guy along seeing how much they can get from them financially, emotionally and entertainingly.

These are the ones he needs to watch out for.

 

A simple rule of thumb I follow is to never give away something I am not comfortable doing without. Scales well from small things like buying someone a drink to big things like helping someone move or loaning money.

 

I think that attitude is more helpful with this phenomenon than trying to identify the users out there because they can be so well disguised.

 

I hope that makes sense to the OP and doesn't sound too windbaggy.

Yukikazi Established Member

Yukikazi

Posted
Posted
A simple rule of thumb I follow is to never give away something I am not comfortable doing without. Scales well from small things like buying someone a drink to big things like helping someone move or loaning money.

 

I think that attitude is more helpful with this phenomenon than trying to identify the users out there because they can be so well disguised.

 

I hope that makes sense to the OP and doesn't sound too windbaggy.

 

True..

 

Well this is why I don;'t buy women drinks.. I had this happen once.. never again.. girl asks me for a drink.. I'm not paying attention and more then a bit inebrieated.. she got her drink.. said about 3 words and vanished.

 

If a girl wants a drink then either she buys the first round and I'll get the second.. or she gets water.. untill she proves she is worth the what.. 8 bucks for the typical frufru drink nowadays?

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

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8 bucks for the typical frufru drink nowadays?

 

Mine's 4 or 5 unless I opt for some fancy :p

Ody Established Member

Ody

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True..

 

Well this is why I don;'t buy women drinks.. I had this happen once.. never again.. girl asks me for a drink.. I'm not paying attention and more then a bit inebrieated.. she got her drink.. said about 3 words and vanished.

 

If a girl wants a drink then either she buys the first round and I'll get the second.. or she gets water.. untill she proves she is worth the what.. 8 bucks for the typical frufru drink nowadays?

 

LOL not exactly what I meant...

 

I meant more of a "buy the drink and don't sweat it" type of thing. If you can't float the price of a few extra drinks in an evening without worry then find a cheaper bar.

 

EDIT "you" in general not "you Yukikazi"

Yukikazi Established Member

Yukikazi

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Mine's 4 or 5 unless I opt for some fancy :p

 

Whiskey/Scotch girl? :confused:

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

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Whiskey/Scotch girl? :confused:

 

I'm a vodka girl.

Yukikazi Established Member

Yukikazi

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I'm a vodka girl.

Eh.. vodka works too :cool:

 

Effen black cherry = best vodka imo

 

 

(To keep thread on point)

Yea op so.. be careful who you buy drinks and stuff for...

Maintain eye contact

wear matching socks

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

Posted
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Eh.. vodka works too :cool:

 

Effen black cherry = best vodka imo

 

 

Sometimes even beer (it's the Wisconsin girl in me).

 

 

(To keep thread on point)

Yea op so.. be careful who you buy drinks and stuff for...

Maintain eye contact

wear matching socks

yeah.. OP.. have you ever tried just going out on your own?
Yukikazi Established Member

Yukikazi

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Sometimes even beer (it's the Wisconsin girl in me).

 

OMG your a cheesehead.. Well that settles it.. i can't talk to you any more.. :D

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

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OMG your a cheesehead.. Well that settles it.. i can't talk to you any more.. :D

 

Former cheesehead.... I'm in Colorado now :p And btw.. I saw you were from Chicago, and I almost had to disagree with you just because of that. Crazy a$$ drivers :p

 

Anyways... back to the OP

Ms. Joolie Established Member

Ms. Joolie

Posted
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You two are still telling the OP to give up?? geez....

 

 

 

 

 

:p

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

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You two are still telling the OP to give up?? geez....

 

 

 

 

 

:p

 

Pretty much :cool:

Yukikazi Established Member

Yukikazi

Posted
Posted
You two are still telling the OP to give up?? geez....

 

 

 

 

 

:p

 

You're still telling him not to... :cool:

 

This is thunderdome.. 2 opinions enter.. 1 choice leaves.

 

Hey Op.. while you are calculating how much effort and time you are putting into this girl.. don't forget your therapy session here..

 

I take cashiers checks and paypal :)

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

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Posted
You're still telling him not to... :cool:

 

This is thunderdome.. 2 opinions enter.. 1 choice leaves.

 

Hey Op.. while you are calculating how much effort and time you are putting into this girl.. don't forget your therapy session here..

 

I take cashiers checks and paypal :)

Well.. maybe if anything, he'll leave with some thicker skin. That always helps when dating. Takes the rash away from rejection. I remember how scared I used to be of rejection.

Ms. Joolie Established Member

Ms. Joolie

Posted
Posted

You're still telling him not to... :cool:

 

This is thunderdome.. 2 opinions enter.. 1 choice leaves.

 

LOL. Was thinking of that. 3 or more people telling him to drop her, and I'm fighting for the pursuit.

 

What can I say...... majority may rule. He'll decide, though. It's good to be the underdog. :cool:

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

Posted
Posted

I think we should make a pro/con list of letting this girl go and moving on

Yukikazi Established Member

Yukikazi

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I think we should make a pro/con list of letting this girl go and moving on

 

I think it would be more eye opening and accurate if the OP makes that list.. nothing clears the cobwebs like good old fashioned logic and reasoning

Ms. Joolie Established Member

Ms. Joolie

Posted
Posted

Forget logic and reasoning........... follow your heart, OP. :love:

 

 

 

:p

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

Posted
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I think it would be more eye opening and accurate if the OP makes that list.. nothing clears the cobwebs like good old fashioned logic and reasoning

 

True... but I don't think OP realizes or wants to accept the pros. I think it's easier for him to say "I'm too busy to pursue other women". And continue on with this endless charade of 'dating' this girl.

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

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Forget logic and reasoning........... follow your heart, OP. :love:

 

 

 

:p

 

Follow your heart to the road of despair and anguish :p

Yukikazi Established Member

Yukikazi

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Posted

There is a term for what the OP has.. One-itis

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

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There is a term for what the OP has.. One-itis

 

How about.. blind-itis

Ms. Joolie Established Member

Ms. Joolie

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Yes, she's the ONE!!!!!! Follow your heart! Pursue, pursue, pursue!!

 

 

(I've had too much coffee)

dreamergrl Established Member

dreamergrl

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Posted
Yes, she's the ONE!!!!!! Follow your heart! Pursue, pursue, pursue!!

 

 

(I've had too much coffee)

 

Don't tell him that! He'll believe you and never get out of this phase.

 

At first I thought it said.. one-tit .. that's my coffee talking. :laugh:

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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