Types of OW

[Montclair0011]

I think there are many situational variations, but I guess you can cluster them into a few categories. I'm guessing there might be about 10 or so different major types. I've had experience with two.

 

Like a few others on this thread, I was dating a separated man who started the divorce process and then chickened out and ran back to the wife. I was horrified to discover that I went from being a girlfriend to an OW seemingly overnight. I think this type deserves it's own category.

 

My husband, OTOH, ran off with his OW whom I'd describe as a predatory shark. She just called him up out of the blue (we were old friends with her but had not heard from her for about 10 years) and invited him up for a college reunion. She was living in remote area and had run out of men. She had had a husband (a nice guy she treated like crap) but she dumped him for another guy who later dumped her. Basically, she was fishing for new meat. As far as I know my husband had never cheated on me before and I let him go up to visit alone because I trusted him and I thought she lived too far away to start anything and I could not go. Boy was I naive.

 

Anyway, before I was on LS or had my experience as an OW, I thought all OW's were like the one who sunk her teeth into my husband (and yes I do blame him too, but this thread is about the OW so I'm staying on topic. :-)). Now of course, I see the complexity and variation.

[justwantlove]

. Absolutely hysterical, Lizzie!

 

As for me, I dated an MM during his legal separation, he and the wife attempted reconciliation, it failed, we started an affair, the marriage ended, we got together legitimately. Don't know what kind of OW that makes me!

 

 

This is what i am hoping for. Not to make him leave his wife for me but that they dont work so i can have him.

Edited November 5, 2009 by justwantlove

[Untouchable_Fire]

I was the 'normal' one. I started dating a man who was married, he told me he was in a miserable, unhappy marriage. Within 2 months of meeting, he moved out and lived in an apartment for a year. He didn't leave for me. I believe he left to prove a point to his wife. After a year, he moved back in with her, all the while telling me it was just for show, he loved me, he wanted a life with me, etc. After a year of this, I decided I wanted more and needed more and started dating. He stayed and moved away a few months later with his wife. I guess they are still together, I have no idea.

 

I would equate them more to like snowflakes... each different in their own way, yet also similar in composition.

[jennie-jennie]

I will admit to being naive before coming to LS.

 

I thought there was only 1 kind of OW; the kind who starts dating a MM because he has told her he is unfulfilled in his marriage.

 

I was just commenting on your original post. Tough love, you know.

[Alpha Female]

When I met my recent x-MM, I knew he was married. He told me how unhappy he was in the M, how loveless and sexless it was. I didnt find him interesting or intelligent, so even though I did not want to be an OW, we started having sex. Because I wasnt into his personality at first, it was easy to stay detached.

 

After a few months, I realized I did have feelings for him, and I broke it off. He was devastated and a wreck. We stayed in total NC until I had a personal trauma, and in my vulnerability, I reached out to him. And we started up again. Though this time with a new intensity. He was now talking about building a life with me and leaving his W, and moving in with me. We began working on business for him, and spending more time together planning a life. He was working for my parents as well, so they were aware of him and our relationship (though never knew he was married, of course!).

 

I guess I was the OW who went into it never expecting to fall, and then did fall.