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How important is physical attraction in a relationship?


AGirlsView

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I don't know HOW we missed the obvious Adoni!!! You are absolutely correct.

 

The trick is.....you HAVE to be sober. Drunk wet sloppy kisses don't count....even if they seem adequate at the time. LOL!

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I have kissed him, I mentioned that earlier and I did like it. It was nice but at the time I was in the middle of the whole X b/f dramma so I don't remember if I felt "warm & fuzzy" or anything else for the matter at the time....probably was too caught up w/ wishing I was kissing my X instead but now that I'm clear-minded and free I will try it again....

 

Great idea......this will be nice specially since I haven't kissed anyone in the past 6 months....

 

Thanks everyone.

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I totally agree! I think I posted this once before, but kisses may be the very thing that get the sparks sparkling. They give you a chance to let the 'real' chemistry (pheremones and all that stuff) get going. I've met a couple bad kissers who were ok under the sheets, but really, the best kissers seem to be great at everything else, too :bunny:

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Definitely go for the kiss. I wasn't initially attracted to my current bf physically really, however, the more I knew him the more I liked not only what kind of person he was, but how he looked. I never thought I'd be swept off my feet by this man...I didn't think he was UNattractive, he was always nice looking, but I wasn't really into him or anything. But now I just think he's hot and sexy. He got under my skin. I totally and completely adore him and think I must have been a fool for not noticing how gorgeous he was (physically) at the very beginning. I've been out with tons of guys who looked hot at the beginning and ended up looking like toads, so I'm in heaven right now.

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Originally posted by GirlsView

 

Oh, Arabess can you believe it happened again :o) I spoke w/ the admin. again and I'm back in 7days, till then I'm a guest.

 

I'll look forward to it!! I hate not being able to PM you!

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Agirlsview,

 

He's just not right for you. Now I on the other hand... :p

 

Seriously speaking, I mean, if that is your real picture, well, you've got your pick of any number of guys - and no, I'm not some horny online creepo who's trying to pick you up. I'm on the other side of the planet for one thing; I don't believe in long distance relationships for another; and most importantly, I've got a woman already - a good one.

 

Anyway, I digress...

 

Here's the deal: it simply depends on how much you value your friendship. I say that because once you light that romantic flame it may be difficult to put out without someone getting hurt here (either him or you). More often than not, friendship isn't something that lasts long after a relationship dies down - despite the very best of intentions. Yes it happens, but it's not the rule.

 

However, if you are really attracted to this guy romantically, maybe there's no point in trying to hold back. I mean, attraction is a force of nature, and if two free souls meet, well then...kismet.

 

Attraction is something you have to define. A guy can be sweet and funny, but if he doesn't do it for you, he doesn't do it for you. Maybe he really does do it for you but you're just holding back for reasons only you can know.

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He's just not right for you. Now I on the other hand...

 

Sorry, amerikajin, agirlsview is mine. :)

 

You're, as they say, GU "geographically undesirable."

 

Now I, on the other hand, inhabit the east coast of good ole USA.

 

Better luck next time. ;)

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No way, Bark! I saw her first! :mad:;)

 

>>>On the subject in question though I'd think It would not be possible for me to become romantically involved with a woman I didn't find to be physically attractive . I see that as a defect in my personality however, but it's been like that all of my life and is not likely to change<<<

 

No, this is not a defect. What's defective is when you make it disproportionately important in your selection process. If you're never satisfied because you keep finding women out there who have something that your current gf doesn't (better breasts, a nicer butt or a sweeter smile) then that's where you go wrong. There's a part of us that wants something sexy. It's just that most of us eventually meets someone who convinces us that they're capable of making them happy just the way they are. Passion is important in romance, but at the end of the day we have to respect and like our mates as people. Using the old cliche, think of looks as a book or magazine cover. Sometimes, the pictures are eye-catching. Maybe you see a few more photographs that catch you reading a while longer. But you can only look at images for so long. Ultimately, it's content, the story itself that determines whether you put it back on the shelf...or buy it and read it from cover to cover.

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No, this is not a defect. What's defective is when you make it disproportionately important in your selection process. If you're never satisfied because you keep finding women out there who have something that your current gf doesn't (better breasts, a nicer butt or a sweeter smile) then that's where you go wrong. There's a part of us that wants something sexy.

 

Couldn't agree with you more, amerikajin (except about agirlsview :) ). Sexual attraction does matter. And I was struck by agirlsview's candid posts about the absence of heat--especially at the inception of a relationship.

 

Now, I don't know you but I bet that you, like me, would be too busy having lots of sex early in a relationship to even bother posting. Those early days are usually fantastic and here's agirlsview telling us there's nothing there sexually. That's not a good sign.

 

You're also right about sexual attraction getting people together initially and then letting the "content" take over as the sex wanes over time, which it inevitably does. The problem is the " trading up" thing or the desire to always be in the early, sexual infatuation phase , which can only be accomplished by taking serial lovers. Some people do that. I'd find it tiring at my age.

 

But I find women to be more complicated than us guys. We're pretty basic. I wouldn't be surprised that, at the end of all this, agirlsview ends up with this guy leaving both of us out in the cold.

 

So what else is new.

 

 

 

:cool:

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