mem11363 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Fascinating. I learn new things every day. And I'm here to tell you that once you get to the point where one spouse is telling the other that the sex life is OVER because they love you ... but not in that way the marriage is over, done. They don't have to make your sexual needs a "real priority" and if you attempt the move you've suggested the only one who's going to be "uncomfortable" is the partner who desired intimacy.. he/she will now be homeless and forking over hefty amounts of court ordered alimony and child support. Btw, I can tell you from personal experience that attempting to limit a stay at home spouse's spending due to lack of intimacy within the marriage is considered to be spousal abuse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr. Lucky Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 ML What do you believe were the primary causes of the initial problem and the recovery I've posted it before, but a quick summary would be that in a 6-month period of time, I lost both my parents to cancer. In the course of settling their estate, I was struck by how little they had to show considering that both had worked hard all their lives. And so I went off the deep end, telling my SAH wife that since I earned all the money, I was going to make all the financial decisions going forward including immediate cancellation of vacation plans and most discretionary spending. I set our savings rate at a level that allowed the bills to be paid and skimmed everything else into new retirement and savings accounts that only I had access to. I was the financial boss. But guess what? My W, after initially trying to talk to me about it (looking back, I was still grieving and probably came across as hostile and unreasonable), decided that she was going to control what SHE could. And our sex life became just subject as to her feelings and goals as our financial life was to mine. Our marriage became a power struggle and, at least sexually, I was the loser. Understanding and addressing that dynamic was the challenge that we had deal with. There's more but it really just detracts from the end result. Glad to say that things are better then ever today... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
65tr6 Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 He was cheating and the AP dumped him. The writer's tactic will work in .000001% of similiar situations, and less in others. Makes for a nice story and sold some papers for the Times. Other than that it sucked. I agree with this one. The nice thing about the story is the BS never begged, cried, pursued her husband to come back. Easier said than done though. Wonder how many are able to actually do that. In reality, there is lot of crying...not necessarily out of desparation but from the emotional pain. Link to post Share on other sites
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