...I miss my wife...

[Luke21]

I think you miss the person she used to be. But your young and in a new marriage and got no kids. It appears she isnt coming back and one person cannot save the marriage by themselves. How long are you gonna tolerate it? are you gonna be in limbo for long time?

 

I have told myself that I am going to give it a couple more weeks. We have not whole heartedly done the NC thing so I am willing to give it a try. If it does not help, what have I lost. If it does work, then I will have possibly given myself another opportunity with the woman I love. I do miss the person she was, but there were plenty of times where I was not happy either. I feel if we can both make the proper changes and adjustments that our life together can be absolutely great. I will not give up on my marriage just because it is hard right now. I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman, I honestly do. I love her unconditionally and I want to care and love her for many years to come. All of our friends are pulling for us to make it, as well as my family. No one wants to see us get a divorce. I have been in a literal living hell for 12 weeks now. Whether I continue on with hope for reconciliation or serve her with papers, the pain is not going to subside. I need to give this everything I have before it is ended. I am not going to give up yet.

[hopesndreams]

By all accounts you already have given up, you just don't know it yet. Pandering to her at this stage is a mistake. Yes, you have control issues. You are just going by the advice you WANT to hear. A little hand holding from a poster is not going to get your marriage back on track. You need to take action, otherwise, frankly...you look like a wuss and the M and the W you so desperately want, will be gone, in a puff of smoke.

 

You must go against what your heart tells you to and use your head instead. It's tough, it's a battle and the only way to win it is to see it through. Fight. Don't just sit back, afraid to do something in case it backfires. It's backfiring right now! Sadly, you don't see that because of your fear.

 

Take control. Yes, control. She is playing you right now and will continue to do so coz to her, it's kinda fun.

[MrMayI]

By all accounts you already have given up, you just don't know it yet. Pandering to her at this stage is a mistake. Yes, you have control issues. You are just going by the advice you WANT to hear. A little hand holding from a poster is not going to get your marriage back on track. You need to take action, otherwise, frankly...you look like a wuss and the M and the W you so desperately want, will be gone, in a puff of smoke.

 

You must go against what your heart tells you to and use your head instead. It's tough, it's a battle and the only way to win it is to see it through. Fight. Don't just sit back, afraid to do something in case it backfires. It's backfiring right now! Sadly, you don't see that because of your fear.

 

Take control. Yes, control. She is playing you right now and will continue to do so coz to her, it's kinda fun.

 

this is what i was driving at, exactly. i think i begged my ex one time and that's all it took for me to see what i was doing. you don't have to file, but you do need to show her that if she's not going to put her head and heart back into the marriage, then the marriage MUST dissolve.

[TwoForgiving]

I'm not saying that the posters telling you to divorce her are wrong but they're coming from a place where they hit the end of their relationships. A lot of people have been hurt and are jaded and automatically awesome the other person is looking for someone else. This is a long relationship and deserves a chance still.

 

You said that she hasn't asked for a divorce, hasn't said that she wants you out of her life completely. You admit that your behavior in the past was construed as being abusive by her and you are getting counseling. I was in an abusive relationship and I only wish I had an ex who was willing to really show me that they had changed.

 

Look at today, you left her alone, didn't barrage her with your insecurities and she contacted you. It may have felt like she was just making small talk but she reached out to you. You may want it to move faster and to be back at home with her but let her have the opportunity to ask you to come back. That's what a lot of people make the mistake in doing. They beg and plead and coerce the other person into getting back together too quickly.

 

Everyone says that you are acting like a wimp being at her beck and call. But are you really? This woman needs some time to think, she needs some time to see if you can and will change, and because she is not calling you and saying come home immediately they assume the marriage is over.

 

Treat her like you did when you guys were dating, if she texts you answer her, don't shut her down but don't ignore her. Be there for the anniversary of her mom's passing. You also need this time to make a 100% sure that you can be happy with her and that you can stop the bad behavior.

 

Wishing you the best.

[Steadfast]

Luke 21, please, read my words carefully and don't get defensive, OK? You came here looking for help and you'll get it if you let the advice soak in. EVERYONE has been through what you're going through! We get it.

 

First, 'I don't know' is the biggest cop out ever. Period. She knows and has known for a long time. You have a lot of catching up to do.

 

People are often wishy-washy when their options don't thrill them. She has some reservations, but they concern her and only her. I'm sure she doesn't want you to get run over by a truck or anything but let's face it; she is not concerned about your feelings. She is occupied with her own. It is important that you realize this because it helps you understand why her behavior is so irrational. Plus, she is dealing with guilt and seeing you hurting only adds to it. Get it? It isn't fair and it isn't nice. It is what it is.

 

Everyone has to make their own choices Luke21. You can't force her and you WILL NOT talk her into it. Do you love her? Really? Then let her go. If she loves you she will come back. If not...well, you're ahead of the game.

 

Brother...I know it hurts and I know your trying, but believe me. Leave her alone. When you see her be nice and don't play games. Listen to her.

 

Let her go. It's the only chance you have of saving it.

[Luke21]

I'm not saying that the posters telling you to divorce her are wrong but they're coming from a place where they hit the end of their relationships. A lot of people have been hurt and are jaded and automatically awesome the other person is looking for someone else. This is a long relationship and deserves a chance still.

 

You said that she hasn't asked for a divorce, hasn't said that she wants you out of her life completely. You admit that your behavior in the past was construed as being abusive by her and you are getting counseling. I was in an abusive relationship and I only wish I had an ex who was willing to really show me that they had changed.

 

Look at today, you left her alone, didn't barrage her with your insecurities and she contacted you. It may have felt like she was just making small talk but she reached out to you. You may want it to move faster and to be back at home with her but let her have the opportunity to ask you to come back. That's what a lot of people make the mistake in doing. They beg and plead and coerce the other person into getting back together too quickly.

 

Everyone says that you are acting like a wimp being at her beck and call. But are you really? This woman needs some time to think, she needs some time to see if you can and will change, and because she is not calling you and saying come home immediately they assume the marriage is over.

 

Treat her like you did when you guys were dating, if she texts you answer her, don't shut her down but don't ignore her. Be there for the anniversary of her mom's passing. You also need this time to make a 100% sure that you can be happy with her and that you can stop the bad behavior.

 

Wishing you the best.

 

I know everyone knows what they are talking about from personal experience. Respectfully, I want my personal experience to have a different ending then most's on this board. I am going to give the NC period a fighting chance. I am not going to call or text. I truly believe her when she says she just doesnt know. It is a huge decision, and I respect that she wants to be completely sure. If she does not want to be in a relationship with me, then I do not want to be in one with her, but I am willing to do as she asks at this time to give us a fighters chance. I fear if I continue to push and show that I have not gained any patience from this experience then it only reduces my chances.

[Luke21]

Luke 21, please, read my words carefully and don't get defensive, OK? You came here looking for help and you'll get it if you let the advice soak in. EVERYONE has been through what you're going through! We get it.

 

First, 'I don't know' is the biggest cop out ever. Period. She knows and has known for a long time. You have a lot of catching up to do.

 

People are often wishy-washy when their options don't thrill them. She has some reservations, but they concern her and only her. I'm sure she doesn't want you to get run over by a truck or anything but let's face it; she is not concerned about your feelings. She is occupied with her own. It is important that you realize this because it helps you understand why her behavior is so irrational. Plus, she is dealing with guilt and seeing you hurting only adds to it. Get it? It isn't fair and it isn't nice. It is what it is.

 

Everyone has to make their own choices Luke21. You can't force her and you WILL NOT talk her into it. Do you love her? Really? Then let her go. If she loves you she will come back. If not...well, you're ahead of the game.

 

Brother...I know it hurts and I know your trying, but believe me. Leave her alone. When you see her be nice and don't play games. Listen to her.

 

Let her go. It's the only chance you have of saving it.

 

I agree. It is hard to understand because you see a person who has loved you for so long all of a sudden change their tune 180. It hurts and it is confusing. You think you are invincible in your relationship and you can be proven wrong so quickly. I was naive. I am going to leave her alone. I dont want to use the words "let her go" simply for the fact that I dont feel good when I say them. I know what I need to do though, and I hope and pray she can release some of the anger and betrayel she feels towards me. I have been hurting my chances drastically since this all started, but hopefully it isnt too late. I will continue to let her stay in the house for a couple more weeks, simply because I do not think it would be right to force her out. She needs to have somewhere she can go and feel safe to gather her thoughts, and our home is the only place she can do that right now. I am sure everyone reading this is going to think I am a moron and a fool, but I dont see any other options at this point.

[Luke21]

By all accounts you already have given up, you just don't know it yet. Pandering to her at this stage is a mistake. Yes, you have control issues. You are just going by the advice you WANT to hear. A little hand holding from a poster is not going to get your marriage back on track. You need to take action, otherwise, frankly...you look like a wuss and the M and the W you so desperately want, will be gone, in a puff of smoke.

 

You must go against what your heart tells you to and use your head instead. It's tough, it's a battle and the only way to win it is to see it through. Fight. Don't just sit back, afraid to do something in case it backfires. It's backfiring right now! Sadly, you don't see that because of your fear.

 

Take control. Yes, control. She is playing you right now and will continue to do so coz to her, it's kinda fun.

 

I would love to have some control back, but your right, I am terrified of making a false move. I really dont have any way of regaining any control other then moving back in the house whether she likes it or not. I feel she would see that as me being pushy and selfish, just as she states I have been for some time (and she's right). She would take it as a sign that she and my marriage are not important enough for me to give her the time she is requesting. I honestly dont think my wife is having fun right now. She is not having as hard of a time as I am by any means, but she is struggling too. My wife is not a vengeful woman. She is a confused and heart broken woman.

 

If there is any other way I can regain a little control, I am honestly all ears. I dont want to play games though.

[Aksion]

I agree. It is hard to understand because you see a person who has loved you for so long all of a sudden change their tune 180. It hurts and it is confusing. You think you are invincible in your relationship and you can be proven wrong so quickly. I was naive. I am going to leave her alone. I dont want to use the words "let her go" simply for the fact that I dont feel good when I say them. I know what I need to do though, and I hope and pray she can release some of the anger and betrayel she feels towards me. I have been hurting my chances drastically since this all started, but hopefully it isnt too late. I will continue to let her stay in the house for a couple more weeks, simply because I do not think it would be right to force her out. She needs to have somewhere she can go and feel safe to gather her thoughts, and our home is the only place she can do that right now. I am sure everyone reading this is going to think I am a moron and a fool, but I dont see any other options at this point.

 

It is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. My stbxw not only did the same thing, but claims she is extremely happy with her 'new life' when less than a month ago she 'loved' me and everything we had. Do I believe you're a fool for allowing her to stay in yall's house even though she doesn't want to be with you? Yes -- but I understand you, because you do love her and don't want to see her hurt regardless of what she is putting you through. However, just as quickly as my wife left, it has only taken me these few weeks for the love I still had for her to die in my heart -- now I just have to figure out how to get her outta my head.

 

Stay strong -- hope your story ends up happier than most of ours.

[Luke21]

It is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. My stbxw not only did the same thing, but claims she is extremely happy with her 'new life' when less than a month ago she 'loved' me and everything we had. Do I believe you're a fool for allowing her to stay in yall's house even though she doesn't want to be with you? Yes -- but I understand you, because you do love her and don't want to see her hurt regardless of what she is putting you through. However, just as quickly as my wife left, it has only taken me these few weeks for the love I still had for her to die in my heart -- now I just have to figure out how to get her outta my head.

 

Stay strong -- hope your story ends up happier than most of ours.

 

I am scared to move back in because I feel as if I would be destroying my one last chance. I have very comfrotable places to stay and she does not. I feel very at home in my brother's house with his wife and kids. Hell, I think I am a dumbass for allowing her to stay sometimes too, but I am too scared to do anything about it right this minute. I want to tell her she has until Nov 1 to decide if she wants to live me with or find an apartment, but again, I dont want to come across as the controlling and pushy person I have been for 10 years. Rock...hard spot

[MrMayI]

I agree. It is hard to understand because you see a person who has loved you for so long all of a sudden change their tune 180. It hurts and it is confusing. You think you are invincible in your relationship and you can be proven wrong so quickly. I was naive. I am going to leave her alone. I dont want to use the words "let her go" simply for the fact that I dont feel good when I say them. I know what I need to do though, and I hope and pray she can release some of the anger and betrayel she feels towards me. I have been hurting my chances drastically since this all started, but hopefully it isnt too late. I will continue to let her stay in the house for a couple more weeks, simply because I do not think it would be right to force her out. She needs to have somewhere she can go and feel safe to gather her thoughts, and our home is the only place she can do that right now. I am sure everyone reading this is going to think I am a moron and a fool, but I dont see any other options at this point.

 

brother, in no way do i think you are a moron or a fool. in my opinion, it takes a bigger man to stand up and fight than to walk away. i do come from a lot of my own recent experience, and i, like anyone else, don't want you to let that affect your decisions. i was just where you are, except i was left in the home with our kid. i did limited contact, no contact, 180, all that. i had papers in the works the day she moved her belongings out of our home. i sat on them, until she proved she wasn't even remotely in the marriage anymore. she gave me a lot of "i don't know", "don't want a divorce", etc, etc, and i believed her. oh well.

 

my point is, you do what you feel is right. just remember, you know, with certainty that NC and a smile on that face is the only way that has a chance. let her come to you. stay strong. try and sway the odds to your favor.

[Logik]

It is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. My stbxw not only did the same thing, but claims she is extremely happy with her 'new life' when less than a month ago she 'loved' me and everything we had. Do I believe you're a fool for allowing her to stay in yall's house even though she doesn't want to be with you? Yes -- but I understand you, because you do love her and don't want to see her hurt regardless of what she is putting you through. However, just as quickly as my wife left, it has only taken me these few weeks for the love I still had for her to die in my heart -- now I just have to figure out how to get her outta my head.

 

Stay strong -- hope your story ends up happier than most of ours.

 

I know what you are feeling here Aksion. I've had this as well. I don't think it's the love in your heart that has died though - I also thought this. I think it's about the loss of respect and trust for her that's covering the love. Be careful how you think you feel now, because it will change to something else, and quickly too. It's the roller coaster. It's a defense mechanism we create to help us cope with our situation.

[hopesndreams]

You can move back into your home and live there, with her. It's your home too and by staying out of it and letting her have her way, she is losing respect for you. Respect precedes love. In order for her to love you again, she will need to RESPECT and MISS you.

 

My advice to you is to move back into that lovely new house. Sit her down, explain to her that you love her and want the marriage to work and that MC is needed to help repair the damage. If she is not willing to agree to this, do the 180, while you are living in that house with her. Try to follow this to the best of your ability.

 

1. Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or

implore.

2. No frequent phone calls.

3. Do not point out good points in marriage.

4. Do not follow her around the house.

5. Do not encourage talk about the future.

6. Do not ask for help from family members.

7. Do not ask for reassurances.

8. Do not buy gifts.

9. Do not schedule dates together.

10. Do not spy on spouse.

11. Do not say "I Love You".

12. Act as if you are moving on with your life.

13. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive.

14. Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - get busy, do things, go to church, go out with friends, etc.

15. When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or short on words.

16. If you are in the habit of asking your spouse her whereabouts, ASK NOTHING.

17. You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you are going to move on with your life, with or without your spouse.

18. Do not be nasty, angry or even cold - just pull back and wait to see if spouse notices and, more important, realize what she will be missing

19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. Show her someone she would want to be around.

20. All questions about marriage should be put on

hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while).

21. Never lose your cool.

22. Don't be overly enthusiiastic.

23. Do not argue about how she feels (it only makes their feelings stronger).

24. Be patient

25. Listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you.

26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out.

27. Take care of yourself (exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your life that are not in turmoil).

28. Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly.

29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallest

CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any words you can say or write.

30. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy.

31. Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse.

32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because she is hurting and scared.

33. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel.

34. Do not backslide from your hardearned changes.

 

Giving her weeks to come round is something you will regret. The longer you two are apart and not living in the same house, the more distance there will be between the both of you. This, in turn, could give her the idea that the grass is greener and perhaps entertain the thoughts of looking for your replacement.

[Luke21]

You can move back into your home and live there, with her. It's your home too and by staying out of it and letting her have her way, she is losing respect for you. Respect precedes love. In order for her to love you again, she will need to RESPECT and MISS you.

 

My advice to you is to move back into that lovely new house. Sit her down, explain to her that you love her and want the marriage to work and that MC is needed to help repair the damage. If she is not willing to agree to this, do the 180, while you are living in that house with her. Try to follow this to the best of your ability.

 

1. Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or

implore.

2. No frequent phone calls.

3. Do not point out good points in marriage.

4. Do not follow her around the house.

5. Do not encourage talk about the future.

6. Do not ask for help from family members.

7. Do not ask for reassurances.

8. Do not buy gifts.

9. Do not schedule dates together.

10. Do not spy on spouse.

11. Do not say "I Love You".

12. Act as if you are moving on with your life.

13. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive.

14. Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - get busy, do things, go to church, go out with friends, etc.

15. When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or short on words.

16. If you are in the habit of asking your spouse her whereabouts, ASK NOTHING.

17. You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you are going to move on with your life, with or without your spouse.

18. Do not be nasty, angry or even cold - just pull back and wait to see if spouse notices and, more important, realize what she will be missing

19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. Show her someone she would want to be around.

20. All questions about marriage should be put on

hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while).

21. Never lose your cool.

22. Don't be overly enthusiiastic.

23. Do not argue about how she feels (it only makes their feelings stronger).

24. Be patient

25. Listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you.

26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out.

27. Take care of yourself (exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your life that are not in turmoil).

28. Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly.

29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallest

CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any words you can say or write.

30. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy.

31. Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse.

32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because she is hurting and scared.

33. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel.

34. Do not backslide from your hardearned changes.

 

Giving her weeks to come round is something you will regret. The longer you two are apart and not living in the same house, the more distance there will be between the both of you. This, in turn, could give her the idea that the grass is greener and perhaps entertain the thoughts of looking for your replacement.

 

I agree that the longer we are apart the more space there is between us. I am honestly starting to feel that myself. I feel as if I really dont know Caroline anymore. I only know that I want my marriage to work. It's just such an amazingly hard decision. I am terrified to do the wrong thing. F*CK!! I never thought this could happen to me.

[MrMayI]

I agree that the longer we are apart the more space there is between us. I am honestly starting to feel that myself. I feel as if I really dont know Caroline anymore. I only know that I want my marriage to work. It's just such an amazingly hard decision. I am terrified to do the wrong thing. F*CK!! I never thought this could happen to me.

 

none of us did, man. i wish it didn't have to happen to any of us. unfortunately, it has and it's not going away. don't lose your focus. you want her back. there's always hope.

[hopesndreams]

Your moods will be swinging all over the place. Get yourself in check. Perhaps make an appointment with your doctor, tell the doctor your situation and get prescribed something to deal with the anxiety you are experiencing. This will give your head a chance to think for you. For the past 2 1/2 months you have just been living off your emotions, mainly despair, you need to take a step back and view this situation from a different place.

 

By following the 180, if things don't work out the way you want them to, and that is a possibility, you are taking the necessary steps to living life without her.

 

Also, be aware of gaslighting. Read up on it. Do not place 100% of the blame on just you for the possible breakdown of your marriage.

 

Thankfully, hopefully, there is not another man in the picture. Otherwise, it would be a whole different ballgame.

[Luke21]

Your moods will be swinging all over the place. Get yourself in check. Perhaps make an appointment with your doctor, tell the doctor your situation and get prescribed something to deal with the anxiety you are experiencing. This will give your head a chance to think for you. For the past 2 1/2 months you have just been living off your emotions, mainly despair, you need to take a step back and view this situation from a different place.

 

By following the 180, if things don't work out the way you want them to, and that is a possibility, you are taking the necessary steps to living life without her.

 

Also, be aware of gaslighting. Read up on it. Do not place 100% of the blame on just you for the possible breakdown of your marriage.

 

Thankfully, hopefully, there is not another man in the picture. Otherwise, it would be a whole different ballgame.

 

I saw my doc about 7 weeks ago for a little assistance. He gave me Lexapro. Not sure it really does anything. I went back and told him I feel like I am losing control all the time and I panic. He gave me Buspar (anti anxiety). That stuff has literally been a life saver. It has really helped me with the day to day. I dont feel desperate all the time. The pain and hurt is still there, but not like before.

 

I will read up on gaslighting. If it is the principle of placing all the blame on myself, then I am quite guilty. I have really been beating myself up for being a failure. I know it takes two, but I really have so much guilt and regret for what I have done. I have really been so ugly and mean at times.

 

I hope and pray everyday there is not another man. I would never be able to get over that. The feeling of betrayel would be monumental.

 

This forum has helped tremendously so far. It is nice to get new perspectives.

 

I appreciate everyone taking the time to comment.

[Luke21]

none of us did, man. i wish it didn't have to happen to any of us. unfortunately, it has and it's not going away. don't lose your focus. you want her back. there's always hope.

 

This is something I would never wish on my worst enemy. I would almost rather kill them so they dont have to live with this. No matter what happens, this will always be here.

 

But your right, there is hope. Maybe we will not make it, but maybe a year from now we will be better then we ever could have imagined. Hopefully it's the latter.

[Luke21]

I regretfully say she has finally asked me for a divorce. God I feel like a naive dip****. I moved back in the house last Friday (which was a pre-set date) and fifteen minutes later she asked me for a divorce. Now, I have to live with her until all this **** is resolved and she finds somewhere to stay. We have been extremely cordial and friendly to each other, and have actually hung out in the evenings a good bit. Actually more then we did when we were actively married. It still hurts like hell going home everyday and seeing her though. I just hope this divorce process does not take forever. I want this to be over as quickly as possible. God I never thought this was going to happen. I'm terrified of being alone.

[hopesndreams]

Why are you hanging out with her? Stop it. It's only making her feel better, not you. Time to think of you only. Distance yourself, find your own interests, live for you. Pay her no mind. Do NC on her. You are being wishy washy with her, holding her bl**dy hand as she makes arrangements to leave ya. Stop it! In order to live alone, fend for yourself, not be terrified of being without her, you must put yourself 1st. Being all friendly with her as she spits in your face is sending her the message that you're a wuss and why would she want to be with you and that she is doing the right thing by leaving ya.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this but build up your self-esteem, NOW. You're gonna need it when she leaves. Being alone isn't as bad as you think either, you will adapt, in fact, you may just thrive! You won't see that now, but you will in time.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I bet there's someone else. There's too many red flags. And you know what maybe, just maybe she isnt the one to stay married to, there's someone else out there that's gonna have your kids and be a family with you.

 

She's a flake and once you detach and get over her. then drop her without a moments notice. Let her deal with her "Feelings" because that's what women do. They rely on their feelings before anything else. but i tell you feelings are fickle they change on a dime with them.

 

And they cant be trusted. She's not making rational decisions but when do you know females to make sane rational decisions???

 

Trust me dude, dig deeper there's someone else. watch it'll all come out.

[hopeful26]

I bet there's someone else. There's too many red flags. And you know what maybe, just maybe she isnt the one to stay married to, there's someone else out there that's gonna have your kids and be a family with you.

 

She's a flake and once you detach and get over her. then drop her without a moments notice. Let her deal with her "Feelings" because that's what women do. They rely on their feelings before anything else. but i tell you feelings are fickle they change on a dime with them.

 

And they cant be trusted. She's not making rational decisions but when do you know females to make sane rational decisions???

 

Trust me dude, dig deeper there's someone else. watch it'll all come out.

There's always someone else. And +1 to women acting based on their feelings! Ugh.

[seibert253]

Make an appointment with an attorney ASAP. You need to protect yourself. Beat her to the punch, file, and have her served.

 

She wants a D, fine, do it on your terms, on your timeline, not hers.

[WTFO]

 

I'm sorry you're going through this but build up your self-esteem, NOW. You're gonna need it when she leaves. Being alone isn't as bad as you think either, you will adapt, in fact, you may just thrive! You won't see that now, but you will in time.

 

 

So true! Listen,being on your own,is pretty cool. I'm just starting to dig it. answer to yourself,stay up as long as you want,cook what you want to eat...and last but not least....PPPEEEAAACCEEEEE. Ask Gunny what he thinks about living on your own..lol Gd luck,its not the end of the world. You have to realize this.

[MizzBlue72]

OK - I can tell you that I can relate to your wife.

Prior to my divorce, I asked, begged and pleaded with my H for space. I needed to clear my head, work a lot of stuff out.

He wouldn't leave me alone long enough to even breathe!!!

 

I know you want to make this work, but she is putting on the breaks and sending you a zillion red caution flags. You need to back off a LOT - or you will lose her.

If she is asking for space - give her the space.

 

Keep the counseling, but you have to abide by the rules ....