sally4sara Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Isn't a satisfied woman a contradiction in terms? Not in my house. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Isn't a satisfied woman a contradiction in terms? uuuummmmm, no... i do agree that a woman tends to set the "tempo" in a household tho... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 (edited) Looking forward to some time in that house once or twice in my life.... BTW, right now I'm trying real hard to think of one woman I've known in my life who was satisfied, and I mean in general. This is where parenting erred. Bad role model of a satisfied woman as modeling for women. Tic-toc.... Edited October 14, 2009 by carhill Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Looking forward to some time in that house once or twice in my life.... BTW, right now I'm trying real hard to think of one woman I've known in my life who was satisfied, and I mean in general. This is where parenting erred. Bad role model of a satisfied woman as modeling for women. Tic-toc.... even tho i don't know you face to face CH - you can include me in that woman=satisfied bunch... ; - ) i'm generally mellow and happy. my xH actually had the nerve to say to me once or twice while married "2sunny - you need to be a woman who wants more material things in life" ahahahahaha, needless to say - it didn't work out to be such a good match... Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Looking forward to some time in that house once or twice in my life.... BTW, right now I'm trying real hard to think of one woman I've known in my life who was satisfied, and I mean in general. This is where parenting erred. Bad role model of a satisfied woman as modeling for women. Tic-toc.... I often wonder if the common lot is two people expecting too much. Such as a him expecting to be able to have a wife that is never upset, while she expects too much to ever feel satisfied. I have seen women expect their partner to accomplish that which she lacks the fortitude to accomplish for herself. When this sort of woman marries a man who doesn't value her goal, they just end up making each other miserable. In my situation, we had a rocky start due to not so obvious trust issues on his part. He is loath to disappoint people he cares about even when it is hard to avoid. I distinctly remember explaining to him that I'm not always going to like everything he does, but hiding things that might upset me keeps me from knowing why I'm mad and that will only piss me off more for a longer amount of time. My being momentarily upset does not result in me loving him less. But he had to believe he was lovable even when his imperfections show. We've been much happier ever since he accepted this as fact. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 I've heard this saying many times. Do you agree with it? Why, why not? actually the saying goes "a homely wife makes for a happy husband" Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 But he had to believe he was lovable even when his imperfections show. Unfortunately, this is how I was modeled but have found to be incompatible with the women I've encountered IME. Perhaps a different destiny awaits. And then I have this cat trying to chew my arm off while I'm typing Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Unfortunately, this is how I was modeled but have found to be incompatible with the women I've encountered IME. Perhaps a different destiny awaits. And then I have this cat trying to chew my arm off while I'm typing That is unfortunate. If I knew a full proof way around this I'd hip you to it for $free.99 Perhaps the problem is linked to the cat; I'm a die hard dog person. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 I smacked the cat with a pillow and now it's laying next to me purring. Good advice for satisfying a woman perhaps ? BTW, it's a male cat Link to post Share on other sites
Holding-On Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Meh. No, not on its own. Whether my mother was happy or not did not rule our house. My father was the tempestuous one - which is the nicest way I can think to put that. I think it only takes one partner in the household to make it unhappy, in my experience. If my husband is unhappy/grumpy it really unsettles our household because he is normally quite cheerful. I am more melancholy so my kids somewhat ignore it (they know I will continue to act like an adult regardless so they don't "fear" me when I'm grumpy). Link to post Share on other sites
Joie de Vivre Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Meh. No, not on its own. Whether my mother was happy or not did not rule our house. My father was the tempestuous one - which is the nicest way I can think to put that. I think it only takes one partner in the household to make it unhappy, in my experience. If my husband is unhappy/grumpy it really unsettles our household because he is normally quite cheerful. I am more melancholy so my kids somewhat ignore it (they know I will continue to act like an adult regardless so they don't "fear" me when I'm grumpy). that's so true. it really only takes one person to effect the whole atmosphere in the house. Whenever my father was unhappy, everyone is on their toes. as for my own relationship: when he is happy, I am happy. When I am happy he is happy. It's all about our attitude towards certain issues in the relationship. but I wouldn't count on him to cheer me up or keep me happy --- he isn't my best girlfriend or my therapist. I would much rather drink my favorite cup of coffee and find happiness from within so yes, happy wife happy life ! happy husband happy life ! just don't expect your significant other to be your soul purpose for happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
mem11363 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Carhill, That doesn't reflect my experience. My 20 years married friends would likely describe their relationships like this: I love my wife, and accept that she is more strong willed than I am so I accomodate her more then she accomodates me. Mostly I find this situation amusing, though on occassion it can be irritating. She may be more aware of my flaws than I am of hers, but she is not chronically angry at me. And regarding the really important issues - when we fight - it is a 50/50 proposition. IME, most of my male friends who have 20+ year marriages have wives who are nearly always 'ticked' off at them for one thing or another. The key is the husband doesn't care. He's happy within himself. I should've paid more attention to them Link to post Share on other sites
mem11363 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 My cat - who I love - literally walks across my keypad when feeling ignored - and yes he bites me when I move him. I do play rough with him - and yes he lies next to me purring afterwards. And that is very much like my interactions with the big feline in the house.... I smacked the cat with a pillow and now it's laying next to me purring. Good advice for satisfying a woman perhaps ? BTW, it's a male cat Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 a happy wife most likely makes an unhappy husband... Link to post Share on other sites
mem11363 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 A happy wife radiates an energy that fills those around her with light and energy. It is a radiance unlike anything in the world. You never tire of it, never become acclimated to it. a happy wife most likely makes an unhappy husband... Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 a happy wife most likely makes an unhappy husband... that's true for most of the cases.. Link to post Share on other sites
hopeful1980 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 that's true for most of the cases.. I don't think so. My husband is always happy when I am happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Holding-On Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 I don't think so. My husband is always happy when I am happy. I agree. Conversely my husband finds it irritating when I am bitchy. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 I agree. Conversely my husband finds it irritating when I am bitchy. Conversely, I find it irritating when my H is an *******. Link to post Share on other sites
SaraMcCoy Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 This is true! If the woman is happy then she'll make the man happy Link to post Share on other sites
kakui215 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Does the husbands happiness get a look in here? Oh, man! It's tough to dwell on this too much since I feel like I've spent years trying to make my wife happy in any way possible while she only seems concerned about my unhappiness when it grows so severe that it makes her life more complex. I'm there to help pick her up when she's down, but when I need to lean on her, she runs in other direction. That hurts -- it hurts a lot. Making her happy has long been one of the highest priorities in my life, but she seems to regard her making me happy is just another duty that is being foisted upon her. So, does this mean that the key to my helping to make her happy is allowing her to lead a life where she doesn't have to pay any attention to my happiness? I don't know... But I guess I'm being a bit unfair here: she does try, but she only does what she believes SHOULD make me happy while ignoring the efforts I've made to communicate to her what actually makes me happy. All the while, I've spent years trying to get her to open up & tell me what makes her happy, but she just doesn't say much, leaving me to guess what might make her happy, then using trial & error to see if my guesses were correct! It doesn't help that she comes from a culture (Japanese) where husbands & wives typically lead very separate lives and talk very little to each other about anything "personal". It's no wonder the country is full of brothels! Link to post Share on other sites
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