WalkInThePark Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 There's a full 25 years difference between my father and his W. It works perfectly - they do everything together as their interests are in tune. Your scenario would only present a problem if the 65 year old was into bungee jumping or extreme skiing, and the 83 year old had arthritis or osteoporosis or such. In most cases, couples slip into a happy routine of doing things they BOTH enjoy and are BOTH capable of doing, and I've seen few (if any) 83 year olds that are not up to restaurants, travel or movies. I do know a couple of 83 year olds that are still active in sport, but then I know very few 65 year olds that are into sport, and even fewer 40 year olds. Most adults I know leave that kind of stuff behind at university, and keep fit between the sheets! It's not about bungee jumping. It's about the general energy level which is likely to be different with a significant age gap. There is a good chance that the average 83 year old is not very performant between the sheets anymore I'm afraid... Anyway, at 44, I just like the idea of having a partner somewhere between 40 and 52 a lot more than having a partner of 60. BBRRR, I find the thought of having to say that my boyfriend is 60 simply repulsive. I have always found it nicer to have someone close to my own age. I therefore also do not want someone a lot younger than myself. Last 2 partners were born in the same year as me so I guess there are still some guys who don't mind a woman their age. Although I have noticed on datingsites that some older guys are obsessed with the fact that their partner has to be younger. Anyway, as far as this topic concerns: BJ, what is his financial situation and what is hers? I think that this could be the key. Honestly, I cannot imagine a woman of that age going for a guy so much older unless there is some advantage that has nothing to do with love. Also, why the hurry? They know each other 3 months, seems a bit premature to already get engaged. Why not wait before you have known each other for a year? Link to post Share on other sites
Author boldjack Posted October 14, 2009 Author Share Posted October 14, 2009 WPark. If I thought that this woman was in it for the money, I'd tell him to kick her to the curb. Women who marry for financial gain, disgust me. As far as the time frame. all I can say is that it seens to be working for them. I did find out a little bit more about her, when she divorced her ex, he (ex) had had an affair with an older woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolat Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 I would like the opinions of any women posters, especially those Ladies in ther late 30's or early 40's........ Is it likely for a man in his late 50's to be married to a woman in her late30's or early 40's and have a totally exclusive, honest and romantic relationship? I KNOW that it is possible, so don't waste time telling me that. I want to know if it is likely. Age gaps are funny things. They matter a lot when one party is very young or very old. In the case you describe the man is not yet very old, but depending on when he starts to fail, the gap could sudenly seem much bigger than it is. The ongoing health -- both physical and mental -- of each party will have much to do with the answer to your question. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 It's not about bungee jumping. It's about the general energy level which is likely to be different with a significant age gap. Depends on the individuals. Honestly, I cannot imagine a woman of that age going for a guy so much older unless there is some advantage that has nothing to do with love. It's called "maturity". Some women like it, but it's not to everyone's taste. Link to post Share on other sites
WalkInThePark Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 It's called "maturity". Some women like it, but it's not to everyone's taste. If there is one thing I have noticed with getting older, it is that advanced age and maturity do not automatically go together. Yes, certain people get wiser with age. But only if they are openminded, are capable of introspection and willing to change and improve their behaviour. If people don't do that, they simply get worse with age. Age often magnifies character flaws. But different people have different preferences. Dating a guy more than 6/7 years older than myself would just not feel right to me. I can't be with someone if I constantly have the feeling "you are too old for me". Some women don't seem to have a problem with it though. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 If there is one thing I have noticed with getting older, it is that advanced age and maturity do not automatically go together. Yes, certain people get wiser with age. But only if they are openminded, are capable of introspection and willing to change and improve their behaviour. If people don't do that, they simply get worse with age. Age often magnifies character flaws. But different people have different preferences. Dating a guy more than 6/7 years older than myself would just not feel right to me. I can't be with someone if I constantly have the feeling "you are too old for me". Some women don't seem to have a problem with it though. Just as advanced age and maturity do not automatically go together the same can be said for the reverse. Ever hear of an old soul? I was beyond my years as a youth and missed out on so many teenage-like activities because I thought they were a waste of time. Since overcoming that foolishness I feel that my best asset now is embracing a child-like heart. Many older people have learned to do this and that is why so many May-December relationships work out just fine. When you have your intelligence and life experience coupled with the joy of exploration and wanting to try new things all things are possible and life is so much more rewarding. The mere fact that BJ's friend's new fiancée is open to the idea of this kind of relationship suggests she feels it will be a strong and successful relationship. If you're closed-minded, of course it won't work. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 I would like the opinions of any women posters, especially those Ladies in ther late 30's or early 40's........ Is it likely for a man in his late 50's to be married to a woman in her late30's or early 40's and have a totally exclusive, honest and romantic relationship? I KNOW that it is possible, so don't waste time telling me that. I want to know if it is likely. This is a large age gap. I haven't known of a relationship with this kind of an age gap to last that long unless it involved money or the woman was over weight, or the woman had some other problem. You never know, though. There's always exceptions. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 This is a large age gap. I haven't known of a relationship with this kind of an age gap to last that long unless it involved money or the woman was over weight, or the woman had some other problem. You never know, though. There's always exceptions. I've seen it quite a few times where both were perfectly healthy and thin. I do know of a couple where the wife was heavy at first but she's lost a lot of weight. Her H was always large. I think where there is love there is a successful R. Link to post Share on other sites
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