pkn06002 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 I vote for checking the cell phone bill. Link to post Share on other sites
outofthedark Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I have never posted but felt it was time I do. At first I was offended as this is a place where the OW is safe to "empty", not to give advice to the wife on how to catch her man. Then as I read, I felt I should offer this advice. CHECK THE CAR MILEAGE! This is easy to do, keep track of it, every couple of days check it, then email the number to yourself. Compare this to cell phone bills as well. If he says he was in meetings all day but put 100 miles on the car, thats a red flag! I was the OW and the BS, I have been on both sides. Someday I may share my story here. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I have never posted but felt it was time I do. At first I was offended as this is a place where the OW is safe to "empty", not to give advice to the wife on how to catch her man. Then as I read, I felt I should offer this advice. CHECK THE CAR MILEAGE! This is easy to do, keep track of it, every couple of days check it, then email the number to yourself. Compare this to cell phone bills as well. If he says he was in meetings all day but put 100 miles on the car, thats a red flag! I was the OW and the BS, I have been on both sides. Someday I may share my story here. Out Of The Dark, I have worn both both pairs of shoes myself, and I want to help EVERYONE that is here suffering and looking for help. I may be an OW now, but that does not mean I can not have compassion for a BS and help her anyway I can especially with my honesty as that is all I have to offer. I am glad you spoke, looking forward to getting to know you. ((HUGS)) Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 I suppose my feelings on this are a little different. I think that if someone wants to "cheat", and not get caught, there are many ways of doing so and only they will spot which fit best into the opportunities that present themselves in their individual situations. It's very easy to hide something from someone, if you want to. That said, I'd go a step back to ask, why do you want to know? If you have a feeling that something is not right, then something ISN'T right. Whatever it is. If you're feeling a distance creeping in, or a lack of authenticity, or some kind of estrangement, then THAT is a problem - whether or not there is "cheating" or something else behind it. The fact that suspicions are aroused is itself reason to address the problem - trust is in jeopardy, closeness is threatened, all is not well in the R. The "cheating", IMO, is secondary to that. Address the R issue, and if its resolution throws up evidence of an A, well, addressing that will be part of the solution. But hunting down "proof" of an A when there may or may not be one does not address the fact that something is still not right in the R, to have given rise to the suspicions in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
FeelingLonely98 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 - they are more attentive to you.. seems more happy at home.. more sexual with you.. trying new sexual stuff; - they are more distant towards you; less sexual; often are day-dreaming; More attentive or more distant? More or less sexual? Seems to be in contradiction, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 More attentive or more distant? More or less sexual? Seems to be in contradiction, no? I was putting a list of different signs... for some.. it's more .. for others .. it's less. Link to post Share on other sites
outofthedark Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Trying new things that aren't sexual. Such as music, food, television shows. Have you noticed that he suddenly likes a new type of music, that he is watching tv shows he never watched or suggesting a meal that the two of you never had? Just from experience..he is something that my MM did. He made sure she never watched anything on tv with him that was remotely related to cheating. Especially the show "cheaters" and talk shows and lifetime movies. So grab the remote and find something that relates to cheating husbands and put it on tv while he is right there with you. It could bring up a lot, pay attention to his reactions and responses. Ask silly questions. Link to post Share on other sites
FeelingLonely98 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 I was putting a list of different signs... for some.. it's more .. for others .. it's less. OK cool. I can see that now Lizzie. Ty for the clarification. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Trying new things that aren't sexual. Such as music, food, television shows. Have you noticed that he suddenly likes a new type of music, that he is watching tv shows he never watched or suggesting a meal that the two of you never had? Just from experience..he is something that my MM did. He made sure she never watched anything on tv with him that was remotely related to cheating. Especially the show "cheaters" and talk shows and lifetime movies. So grab the remote and find something that relates to cheating husbands and put it on tv while he is right there with you. It could bring up a lot, pay attention to his reactions and responses. Ask silly questions. My MM has done these things as well. My favorite pizza is ham, pineapple and jalepeno stuffed crust from pizza hut. He ordered it at home, and was greeted with confusion as this is something he has never eaten before, and they usually order from a different pizza company. He also has become addicted to some of my favorite programs on TV, shows he has never watched with her before. And his musical tastes are changing a bit, as he learns to enjoy the music I listen to. So these are small signs that he is interacting with someone whose tastes are 'rubbing off" on him a little. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 The signs of myself cheating were so apparent, my H must have been so into what he was doing with his OW that he did not see them. Dressing better Always wearing make-up Always clean shaved Phone calls not returned right away Hidden email account (he never once questioned why) Listening to new music Talking about new interests (interests that XOM was into) Lack of inimacy Lack of conversation Lack of much of what our marriage usually had. Falling asleep early as to avoid H Wow i can go on and on:eek: Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 Clues: Goes to the store a lot Starts to work "longer" hours Starts to go to work earlier Has more "guys nights" Becomes secretive while on the phone Becomes secretive with email What kinds of things is he doing that is making you think he is cheating? Wow. Change guys to girls night out, add sex dwindling to nothing and new bras and panties, and you've got a winner. My w to a tee. Link to post Share on other sites
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