Lizzie60 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 So, you are OK if I call you a harsh and sour person? OK, I think you are a harsh and sour person. IMO, your "I don't care about anyone but myself" attitude must come from a very sour place. Hey, you said it was fine to use those words, didn't you? Agreed.. you can call me sour... harsh... bitter.. all you want.. because I don't see the big deal with those words.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 So Lizzie, if the definition of a word based on a dictionary fits the person in question, can we use the word? You know the answer to that one.. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Agreed.. you can call me sour... harsh... bitter.. all you want.. because I don't see the big deal with those words.. See, here is the thing you don't seem to understand. It's not just words, it's how they are used. I'm sure I could put bitter, harsh, and sour in a sentence that would very quickly get me banned from this site. When OW's call BW's bitter it is meant as an insult. Personally, I really don't care, but there are some BW who are much closer to the pain who would feel the same being called bitter as someone may feel being called a whore. My point, if you can dish it out, be ready to take it. IMO, OW's shouldn't come here and complain about being called names when they fire the insults right back. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 You know the answer to that one.. No, I don't, please do tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 See, here is the thing you don't seem to understand. It's not just words, it's how they are used. I'm sure I could put bitter, harsh, and sour in a sentence that would very quickly get me banned from this site. When OW's call BW's bitter it is meant as an insult. Personally, I really don't care, but there are some BW who are much closer to the pain who would feel the same being called bitter as someone may feel being called a whore. My point, if you can dish it out, be ready to take it. IMO, OW's shouldn't come here and complain about being called names when they fire the insults right back. Then I guess it could be a language thing.. cause I honestly do NOT see the insult in 'bitter' 'sour' 'harsh'... seriously I don't.. Maybe we should ask Tony what he thinks... CALLING TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Okay, so here's a dictionary entry off of Merriam-Webster.com: Main Entry: 1whore Pronunciation: \ˈhȯr, ˈhu̇r\ Function: noun Etymology: Middle English hore, from Old English hōre; akin to Old Norse hōra whore, hōrr adulterer, Latin carus dear — more at charity Date: before 12th century 1 : a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman 2 : a male who engages in sexual acts for money 3 : a venal or unscrupulous person Please note the bolded word which is part of the definition. Though I wouldn't call an OW a whore (nor an OM the male version of whatever that might be) it does define that word, in one sense, as adulterer. So JUST because something might be accurate based on a dictionary entry, WHY must ANYONE label someone bitter, a whore, a slut, or ANYTHING?! Because you can get away with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Okay, so here's a dictionary entry off of Merriam-Webster.com: Main Entry: 1whore Pronunciation: \ˈhȯr, ˈhu̇r\ Function: noun Etymology: Middle English hore, from Old English hōre; akin to Old Norse hōra whore, hōrr adulterer, Latin carus dear — more at charity Date: before 12th century 1 : a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman 2 : a male who engages in sexual acts for money 3 : a venal or unscrupulous person Please note the bolded word which is part of the definition. Though I wouldn't call an OW a whore (nor an OM the male version of whatever that might be) it does define that word, in one sense, as adulterer. So JUST because something might be accurate based on a dictionary entry, WHY must ANYONE label someone bitter, a whore, a slut, or ANYTHING?! Because you can get away with it? Yabutt.. the bold word is no longer used for that definition.. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Then I guess it could be a language thing.. cause I honestly do NOT see the insult in 'bitter' 'sour' 'harsh'... seriously I don't.. Maybe we should ask Tony what he thinks... CALLING TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the context of how the word is used.. OK, I give up here. You either really don't understand what I am saying or you just don't want to understand. Either way, it makes no difference to me so I will just agree to disagree and be done with it. Yes, Tony please tell us: Is it OK to call someone a bitter, harsh, sour person? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Yabutt.. the bold word is no longer used for that definition.. Maybe in YOUR world. Everyone's different, and some may mean it just that way. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 As for "bitter," I might define someone who would, for example, wallow in another person's misery and rub their face in past posts while they are at their lowest as the bitterest person ever. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 OK then, let's take the word "slut": Noun S: (n) slattern, slut, slovenly woman, trollop (a dirty untidy woman) S: (n) adulteress, fornicatress, hussy, jade, loose woman, slut, strumpet, trollop (a woman adulterer) So, if the description fits by definition, can we use the word? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I got to go.. but I asked Tony to come and give us HIS opinion. touroulou Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I got to go.. but I asked Tony to come and give us HIS opinion. touroulou Looking forward to it. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 I got to go.. but I asked Tony to come and give us HIS opinion. touroulou I'd be interested to see what he has to say. MY take on it is why toss out labels - AT ALL?! How hard is it to, instead of calling someone the age-old "bitter BS," say "It seems you are still very hurt from your H's affair, and your posts reflect that." Since we have to tip toe around OW/OM, wouldn't it be safe to assume we should also tip toe around BS's for the same reason? After all, EVERYONE who has been in or is currently in a heated situation like that would most likely be hurting on some level. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 So, what's wrong with that? what is wrong with people who want to destroy families, screw other people's spouses, and hurt other people in real life? what is wrong with that? you really have to ask? They're as entitled to that as a BS is to ask for support getting over their WS's infidelity on the Infidelity Board. If you think it's OK to bash OPs who don't want to end their As, then reciprocally you must agree it's OK to bash BSs who don't want to end their broken Ms? Surely? Consistency, after all...? nope, nothing about wanting to stay with a cheater, for some awful reason, is not hurting someone else besides themselves. people wanting to propogate their affairs are hurting other people and are showing disregard for someone else. Come now, HN - "bitter" is hardly of the same order of magnitude as "whore" and "slut", don't you think? nah, if you think calling someone bitter is a proper label, then you are calling it like you see it. just like if someone is exhibiting wh0re tendencies, or sluttly tendencies, that is a proper, dictionary word. Its not even slang. if someone is unscrupulous or "venal", then they ARE a wh0re. Its by definition. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 Cheating is not only taboo, it's morally corrupt. I'm all for a safe place, but maybe a safe place should be with a therapist or trusted friend. An on line world wide msg board is NOT a safe place! And if one wants to post their story, in my mind, they are opening themselves up to all sorts of answers. Buyer beware! That may be so in your mind but those are not the rules of this forum. Read the fine print people! Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted October 21, 2009 Share Posted October 21, 2009 But that might be the bitter bs's way of getting support. And if we accept it for what it is, perhaps we can feel empathy instead of anger. Knowing that you aren't a hoe, you can just think, "calling me a hoe makes this person feel better." IDK if I could ever get over being married to someone I consider a hoe, but calling someone else a hoe may feel good for the moment. It could also help with reconciliation if I can blame someone outside of the relationship. I get to save face and transfer negative energy at the same time. You seem to be missing the point. This particular forum is not about support for the BS. Its about support for the OW/OM. Again read the fine print people. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted October 22, 2009 Senior Moderators Share Posted October 22, 2009 Calling someone a slut, whore or whatever is a judgment. And just because you might call someone a giraffe doesn't make them a giraffe. I think it lacks class and is beneath the dignity of human beings to call one another names. There may be times now and then when someone's behavior may somehow be "slutty" but that doesn't make them a slut...it just means they behaved inappropriately at one time. A "whore" does not define the person. To be considered a whore, you would have to screw for money 24/7 from age 18 until death. Otherwise, you may have the behavior of a "whore" from time to time but you are still a human being. I think if the people here want to rise to the next level of evolution they need to start showing more love and compassion for others, no matter what their line of work or behavior. We are all on this earth and having a difficult time of it. We all work hard in whatever way we can to making things work for us. We don't need a bunch of busybodies with nothing better to do judging us and calling us this or that because we do this or that now and then. Having this sort of debate is meaningless and makes us get stuck at a level of growth that is so stunting. I promise you, no great man who ever lived has spent much time debating the meaning of slut, whore, butthole, etc. There are far more pressing problems out there and far more helpful intellectual discussions to have. Let's be nice to one another and just forget about labeling! One day we will all be THE SAME THING....FOOD FOR MAGGOTS!!! Link to post Share on other sites
mybrowneyedgirl Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Go tony!!! Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Let's be nice to one another and just forget about labeling! One day we will all be THE SAME THING....FOOD FOR MAGGOTS!!! Quoted for truth. :( We tend to forget this way too often. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 ................... ... giraffe... I will be incinerated.. so no food for maggots.. unless they like ashes.. Thanks Tony ... so.. no name calling.. we got that.. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Let's be nice to one another and just forget about labeling! Yup. That's what I said above. Thanks Tony! Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Not me Tony. I'm being cremated. F**k the maggots!! Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I'm with ya on that Boldjack.... Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I don't want to die...ever....or get old...ever! Link to post Share on other sites
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