GypsyRayne Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Chrome Barracuda posted this to me in my post Why do you stay and how.... excuse me GR sorry to bring this up could this be karma coming home to roost for you. If I'm not mistaken? I mean he is your second husband and you did sleep with him while you was married to someone else? Could it be possible that , that's his thing in life. To have affairs. to keep looking for that natural high? To be honest this is something I have thought about often during my marriage to H. Are the things he does to me "karma" Do I deserve them? How long will I be expected to pay for what I have done? The other thing I think of often is why is it only me who must pay? Why can H hurt me, betray me, cause me to feel such pain and he is fine? Why does he not have to pay for what he has done also? Why does this karma thing only apply to me? Yes, I was a MOW with a MM(my h now) Yes I caused a great deal of pain to my ex, to my children, to h's ex and his child. My m at the time wasn't very good. Ex had a problem with dr prescibed pain meds. All he did was sleep, he wasn't availible to me or the children. I am not excusing myself, only explaining in some small way how I became involved with MM. I know now that I should have left my M and not had an A. I had a very bad end to my M. My ex took a shotgun, pointed it at me and pulled the trigger. God was with me, because he missed the first time. If he would have hit me, he would have killed me. I ran, he chased me, I fell from a second story deck, stood up and he shot at me again, this time he hit me. Again, God was with me, I was able to run to a neighbors house, ex was looking for me and shot again. He slashed my tires in case I tried to get away and hunted me like an animal. I feel that what I endured at the hands of my ex was punishment enough. So if this is karma, when will it end?
The Collector Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 There is no such thing as Karma. There is no evidence that Karma exists. Your understanding of Karma - some kind of Universal Justice - is in fact different from what Karma is actually supposed to be about. If Karma existed we would live in a very different world than we do. Sometimes people reap what they sow. Sometimes bad things happen to bad people and vice versa. That's about it.
RedDevil66 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Karma does exist and I would say yes, you are receiving karma. I cheated on my BF with a MM and I've paid dearly. My ex cheated on me and left me for a MW. They are married now and you know what, they both have HIV Karma is a bitch! Keeps me in line, that's for sure
PhoenixRise Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Chrome Barracuda posted this to me in my post Why do you stay and how.... excuse me GR sorry to bring this up could this be karma coming home to roost for you. If I'm not mistaken? I mean he is your second husband and you did sleep with him while you was married to someone else? Could it be possible that , that's his thing in life. To have affairs. to keep looking for that natural high? To be honest this is something I have thought about often during my marriage to H. Are the things he does to me "karma" Do I deserve them? How long will I be expected to pay for what I have done? The other thing I think of often is why is it only me who must pay? Why can H hurt me, betray me, cause me to feel such pain and he is fine? Why does he not have to pay for what he has done also? Why does this karma thing only apply to me? Yes, I was a MOW with a MM(my h now) Yes I caused a great deal of pain to my ex, to my children, to h's ex and his child. My m at the time wasn't very good. Ex had a problem with dr prescibed pain meds. All he did was sleep, he wasn't availible to me or the children. I am not excusing myself, only explaining in some small way how I became involved with MM. I know now that I should have left my M and not had an A. I had a very bad end to my M. My ex took a shotgun, pointed it at me and pulled the trigger. God was with me, because he missed the first time. If he would have hit me, he would have killed me. I ran, he chased me, I fell from a second story deck, stood up and he shot at me again, this time he hit me. Again, God was with me, I was able to run to a neighbors house, ex was looking for me and shot again. He slashed my tires in case I tried to get away and hunted me like an animal. I feel that what I endured at the hands of my ex was punishment enough. So if this is karma, when will it end? You know GypsyRayne there is a Buddist poster who posts here from time to time. She is every eloquent on the subject of Karma and based on my understanding of her posts, Karma is not an instument of punishment in the way you have described above. I will tell you this....To Hell with Karma. You don't say in a horrible situation because you have some twisted idea that you deserve to be punished hoping that at some point Karma will be satisfied and then you can save yourself. Whatever happened with your M and the A, you don't deserved to be saddled with a gay/bi/in the closet husband who you know is putting your life and health at risk. You didn't do the right thing in your marriage. You had an affair. Hopefully you have learned and grown from your mistakes. BUT Nobody had the right to shoot at you or hunt you down like an animal. AND Nobody has the right to put your health at risk the way your current husband is doing. GR save yourself. You made a bad choice in your current H. Do not get it twisted in your mind that you have to stay and put up with his sh** because the relationship started as an A and caused a lot of pain.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I'm not sure its Karma specifically. You married a man who is a cheater. You were lucky enough to have that information before hand, though sometimes its difficult to see what we don't care to. I'm thinking you did his wife a favor though. Maybe you'll get special karmic consideration for that!
TaraMaiden Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Bless you PhoenixRise, I thank you for your kind referral..... That would be me.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t197032/?highlight=karma http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t197539/?highlight=karma http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t200202/?highlight=karma Read, mark and inwardly digest. I grow weary of correcting people on all their misconceptions about karma. But if you want to believe that Karma is some form of cosmic revenge wreaked on everybody else but you, go right ahead.
Owl Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I don't believe that you're being "punished for your actions". I do believe that you're suffering the results of decisions you made a long time ago. I do believe that there does remain the risk with many people...if they'll cheat with you, they can well cheat ON you. It especially tends to apply to those who "get away with it"...in that if they don't suffer any consequences...if they don't go through the true effort of reconciliation...and instead get "rewarded" for it (start a new relationship...move on and leave the chaos they created behind)...they don't develop any true 'reason' not to do it again. His affair before netted him the 'reward' of creating a new relationship with you, and he dodged the work of trying to recover from the chaos he created. From a purely selfish and childish viewpoint...why SHOULDN'T he cheat on you? I'm not saying you 'deserve' this in some fashion...not at all. It's just a consequence of what happened in the past.
The Collector Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 It's a relatively new belief system with no scientific basis. You can believe whatever makes you feel better, but there is as much evidence of Karma as there is that it's your invisible spriit pony using her magical powers to thwart your enemies and or help you find your socks.
bayouboi Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Bless you PhoenixRise, I thank you for your kind referral..... That would be me.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t197032/?highlight=karma http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t197539/?highlight=karma http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t200202/?highlight=karma Read, mark and inwardly digest. I grow weary of correcting people on all their misconceptions about karma. But if you want to believe that Karma is some form of cosmic revenge wreaked on everybody else but you, go right ahead. Just read your first link and I enjoyed your perspectives on positive thinking. However, I found it interesting to take this quote: But understand this: simply because you may choose to see things in your own way, doesn't make you right. Whatever the misguided understanding of Kamma - it still happens the way I have explained. and then turn it around to read: Whatever the misguided understanding of Kamma - it still happens the way I have explained. But understand this: simply because you may choose to see things in your own way, doesn't make you right.
Surfer Girl Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Tara made a good point about cause and effect.... For some the lessons learned are more important.... learning and growing to a point where you can understand the lesson... is where you will grow and reach a higher level....
TaraMaiden Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Just read your first link and I enjoyed your perspectives on positive thinking. However, I found it interesting to take this quote: and then turn it around to read: I don't see your point. My explanation of karma is that which has been taught in Buddhism for nigh on 2.5k years. It's a fundamental and precise teaching of the Buddha. I did have a link to an extremely comprehensive site which gives extremely precise and singular explanations, but it was removed because it was considered 'commercial' (fair enough....) However, in all the diverse and varied definitions of karma, relating to different aspects of its manifestation (thought kamma, speech karma etc) nowhere does it ever validate, agree or confirm that it is any way, shape or form, a retaliatory, vengeful or judgemental process. So I don't see what you're getting at. My constant and repetitive explanation of Karma, is not wrong. The constant, repetitive assumption by some that it is retaliatory, vengeful or judgemental - is.
Woggle Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I do believe that what we do to others sooner or later comes back to us and this is why I watch how I treat people. I know that everybody who has mistreated me or done me wrong has gotten their karma and I don't think that is a coincidence. Also if you marry a cheater chances are he will turn around and do the same thing to you.
bayouboi Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I don't see your point. My explanation of karma is that which has been taught in Buddhism for nigh on 2.5k years. It's a fundamental and precise teaching of the Buddha. I did have a link to an extremely comprehensive site which gives extremely precise and singular explanations, but it was removed because it was considered 'commercial' (fair enough....) However, in all the diverse and varied definitions of karma, relating to different aspects of its manifestation (thought kamma, speech karma etc) nowhere does it ever validate, agree or confirm that it is any way, shape or form, a retaliatory, vengeful or judgemental process. So I don't see what you're getting at. My constant and repetitive explanation of Karma, is not wrong. The constant, repetitive assumption by some that it is retaliatory, vengeful or judgemental - is. I will take you for your word that your explanation of karma is as it has been taught by buddhism for the past 2.5k years as I am no student in such teachings. I just find the humor in pointing out that sometimes humans espouse their own points of view (opinions, beliefs, etc.) in absolute and undeniable terms and then proceed to almost disqualify themselves with their own statements such as 'But understand this: simply because you may choose to see things in your own way, doesn't make you right.'
LakesideDream Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 "Karma" as defined in todays society is B.S. Right up there with "Closure". The truth is that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. You certainly knew what you were getting into, now you own it. You may be the nicest person in the world. Both your 1st and 2nd husbands may both be sociopathic jerks, even criminal. Maybe it's time to take a break from the maddness?
tami-chan Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 GR, first of all, you should just put Chrome Barracuda on ignore for the simple reason that he is challenged. He uses crass language and gets his facts all tangled up and nobody calls him on it because he pushes the same agenda as they do. It would be interesting if some BS who were involved in illicit affairs before they got married would post on this thread. How about it, let us know if the heartache you feel now is payback for your past errors in judgment?
Molley Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Okay, it’s not my story, but my BFF’s…. When she was in her early 20’s, fell in love with a MM. I kept telling her to not go down this path. But… it just felt so right, he was wonderful, 15 yrs her senior and seemed so perfect for her, he knew it all. Four years later they finally got married. From the start, it was a challenging marriage, but my BFF didn’t want a divorce because she got pregnant on their honeymoon. That started a 15 year cycle of depression for her, leaving him a number of times and then going back to work on the marriage. Needless to say, the perfect man was not so perfect, he turned out to be a husband who didn’t engage in the marriage, didn’t want to do much more than sit and play video games and golf. So, my BFF started having affairs (surprise!) and then one day, because she could no longer handle the emotional abandonment, she became a walk away wife. Walked out of the marriage and never looked back. That was 3 years ago and they are still in court battling it out. I believe it’s not karma but the fact that marriages born out of deception and lies are only waiting to fail. Looking back on all of this, she finally admitted that she should have run away the moment she knew he was a married man…. Lots of heartache for both of them.
TaraMaiden Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I will take you for your word that your explanation of karma is as it has been taught by buddhism for the past 2.5k years as I am no student in such teachings. I just find the humor in pointing out that sometimes humans espouse their own points of view (opinions, beliefs, etc.) in absolute and undeniable terms and then proceed to almost disqualify themselves with their own statements such as 'But understand this: simply because you may choose to see things in your own way, doesn't make you right.' I'm a jerk. I should have seen the humour. Sorry. You're right. (or there again, you might not be.......)
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 LMBAO!!!!! Yes tami chan please ignore me. put me on ignore... My post to her was just a question I posed? I mean she even said how she hooked up with husband number 2 by skirting around behind husband number 1's back! Yes Tami I'm at fault I made her cheat! The big bad barracuda strikes again! (This is cynical for other posters who can read between the lines. lol.)
Mz. Pixie Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 "Karma" as defined in todays society is B.S. Right up there with "Closure". Totally agree.
Owl Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 GR, first of all, you should just put Chrome Barracuda on ignore for the simple reason that he is challenged. He uses crass language and gets his facts all tangled up and nobody calls him on it because he pushes the same agenda as they do. That's the beauty of the "ignore" feature.0 It would be interesting if some BS who were involved in illicit affairs before they got married would post on this thread. How about it, let us know if the heartache you feel now is payback for your past errors in judgment? Ummm...unless I'm mistaken, isn't that exactly GR's situation??? Didn't she raise that exact question in her opening post/title on this thread???
Dexter Morgan Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Yes, I was a MOW with a MM(my h now) Yes I caused a great deal of pain to my ex, to my children, to h's ex and his child. My m at the time wasn't very good. Ex had a problem with dr prescibed pain meds. All he did was sleep, he wasn't availible to me or the children. I am not excusing myself yes, you are. I had a very bad end to my M. My ex took a shotgun, pointed it at me and pulled the trigger. God was with me, because he missed the first time. If he would have hit me, he would have killed me. I ran, he chased me, I fell from a second story deck, stood up and he shot at me again, this time he hit me. Again, God was with me, I was able to run to a neighbors house, ex was looking for me and shot again. He slashed my tires in case I tried to get away and hunted me like an animal. I feel that what I endured at the hands of my ex was punishment enough. So if this is karma, when will it end? damn, for him to be that enraged, you must have really done a number on him. but regardless, his reaction should come with prison time and mental health treatment. but this is the kind of pain, cheating causes. good thing the majority of us can deal with it better than what he did.
tami-chan Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 That's the beauty of the "ignore" feature.0 Ummm...unless I'm mistaken, isn't that exactly GR's situation??? Didn't she raise that exact question in her opening post/title on this thread??? Yes, I was reiterating it....so far the more visible former OWs/Affair partners who are now BSs have not posted. I could be wrong, though, as I do not remember everybody's story. What say you?
Owl Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 I can only think of one other current poster who was an OW who is now a BS, and she's not posted to this thread...and I wouldn't be surprised if she chose not to. One other part of this to consider would be that not only are we talking about OW/OM turned BS...but ESPECIALLY in this case, the OP was betrayed by her former affair partner. That's where I agree with LSD...she had already seen clearly demonstrated that the man she was with would choose to cheat if the circumstances were there. Again, I don't call that "karma" as much as its simply a function of choosing to be with someone who you know chooses that as an option. If my wife were to engage in ANOTHER emotional affair sometime in the future...it wouldn't be 'karma' for my actions or hers...but it would clearly be a result of my choice to remain with someone who's demonstrated that capacity in the past. It's a risk I have opted to take, based off my experiences and knowledge. It's a risk I've knowingly signed up for.
tami-chan Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Well, I can think of a few who were involved in illicit affairs who are now BSs--2sure, Gamine, to name two. I am interested if they think what they are going through right now is er..."karma"..(using that loosely). Personally, I agree with those who say, it is not "karma". It just means, she married a person who has within him the capacity to cross marital fidelity. Perhaps, somebody who is incapable of staying faithful. Although, for the record, I do not believe in the"once a cheat, always a cheat" thing. Some people learn from experience and make changes in how they live their lives, after all.
Owl Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Well, I can think of a few who were involved in illicit affairs who are now BSs--2sure, Gamine, to name two. I am interested if they think what they are going through right now is er..."karma"..(using that loosely). Personally, I agree with those who say, it is not "karma". It just means, she married a person who has within him the capacity to cross marital fidelity. Perhaps, somebody who is incapable of staying faithful. Although, for the record, I do not believe in the"once a cheat, always a cheat" thing. Some people learn from experience and make changes in how they live their lives, after all. Mark the date...we're sorta agreeing on something. I don't believe the "once a cheat, always a cheat" thing either...but I do believe that "twice a cheat, always a cheat"...if someone "gets away with it" the first time, they're far more likely to do it again. If they do it more than once...odds are high, they're going to continue to do it.
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