azraf Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Okay, ive not been on this site for awhile now, i guess ive felt better after the break up. I guess ive regained my confidence again. I am laughing again and actually enjoying life and started dating a few people. its true when they say time will heal all wounds and in fact i do feel this site has really helped me alot to not feel alone. i followed some tips from this site and its amazing how true the things i read in here. after 3 months of break and going NC for 3 weeks, ex and i kept very LC just hello and stuff but conversation or text messages are kept at its minimal. 2 weeks ago, the ex called and at that time i was in another country for work and couldnt answer the phone call. two days after that i received a text saying she called my friend to ask on my whereabout and i called her immedately sensing something is not right. The moment i spoke to her she just cried and cried and cried saying that her life is falling apart, she cries every single day and life is not the same with the new guy (she cheated on me btw and now is with the guy as an item).Apparently the new guy treated her well but she aint happy with him like she feels guilty for hurting me. i am just appaled by the idea of her being in depression, when 3 months ago when she left me for that dude, i was in the same situation that she is right now. but it has been 3 months now and why now?why when i am slowly moving on she had to come back and screw up with my mind again?ive been very gentle to her post break up because i didnt want to be childish and looked bitter and i until now i really dont know why do i still give in, maybe im just too nice. i cant believe it when she said they are together partly because i guess i was being indenial but it hurts so badddd when i hear her utter those words. this is one person that i loved and was willing to give my all, and she was so adamant about breaking up and now her life is in a mess and she comes running and calling me , each time sobbing without fail. it is definately karma payback time and i guess it is so true, coz the moment u move on and be ok is when they come back to haunt you. i dont think she wants us to get back together, she said it wouldnt be fair to me, but i dont know why deep down inside i still feel that lovin feeling. i was okay moving on with my life until she had to call me sobbing and made me feel there is a chance of reconciliation tho, she is now with the dude. damn. any advise would be good. just wanna let y'all know that we can move on from a bad break but we've got to be sure and just do it. i guess i am in a complex situation right now.
Beeotch Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Might be karma.... I suggest you not giving in. I think you should be nice to her...as you have seen, LIFE brings forth 'revenge" and you don't have to do it yourself. So be nice to her but PROTECT yourself at the same time. Do not get sucked back in, especially if your feelings are coming back and she is just using you as a crutch because she is upset. You seem to be on the right track with not getting caught up... I think a mistake people make is when things go sour with the rebound or their ex's new person and the ex comes back they forget all lessons learned and dive back in head first only to end up in the same position they fought hard to get out of or sometimes worst. She is emotional right now...you can't trust emotional people to make permanent, sound choices most times. So be nice and continue doing you...just like you went through your shyt with her, it is her turn.
Excellent Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 She cheated. By the way you describe things, i'm pretty similar to you. A nice guy. But cheating is the one thing i will never forgive, if i got cheated on, and my ex called me sobbing 3 months later when she understood that you are actually moving on, i would just say:"you made that choice, now live with it, and please don't contact me again." The trust is forever broken, imo! Atleast remember that action speaks louder than words if you really believe what she is saying.
madhatter Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Unless she is beating down your door, begging you back, just tell her to take a hike! She cheated on you! Don't forget that! She's taking advantage of your kind and nice nature, don't give it to her, save it for a women who will truely appreciate you and treat you with the respect you deserve!
TaraMaiden Posted August 28, 2009 Posted August 28, 2009 Oh, look! It's all that revenge karma/payback cr*ap again....
delle Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 hi azraf, im a newbie here. just joined the forum:confused:. anyway, the thread u opened was the same scenario i went through few months back. a guy dumped me for another girl. at first he denied everything and then after few weeks, he admitted everything. that he was with that girl. he dumped 3 yrs relationship with that girl he just knew. well unfortunately, the girl just just left him for her ex. well i dont wanna think its karma. i never wished for it to happen. but i went through the same thing... but wheeewww i still went back to him.. were still together.. but the past kept haunting me specially now that the girl was still hoping to win him back since her ex and her didnt work again... it hard.. its difficult.. there were times when im crying alone knowing he still talks to her at times. there was even a time i saw them both having coffee... he chose me over her but dont do the same thing i did.. dont make ur life as miserable as with mine right now... sometimes im happy but most of the time im so paranoid.. specially when im not with him.. but if you really love her, who are we to judge ayt? but be ready for more more trials.. im tellin you..
TaraMaiden Posted August 31, 2009 Posted August 31, 2009 delle, it might be more polite to start your own thread, hun.... this is what some might call 'threadjacking'.....
delle Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 hi tara maiden, sorry just got carried away.. its my firts time to posta comment on a thread.. points taken anyway.. new lesson for me... thanks for reminding me..
TaraMaiden Posted September 2, 2009 Posted September 2, 2009 No apology is necessary, to me or to anyone else.... but with your own thread, you'll get more personal responses, which will singularly respond to what you need.... Hidden in someone else's thread, you'll never get the attention you deserve....
HisLove Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I'd be careful about labelling with the 'karma' thing or being smug about it. If you believe in that sort of stuff, then you must have done something to deserve being cheated on in the first place - understand what I'm saying? Karma doesn't just work in one direction or only happen to other people. I think you've been kind and gracious, and that is the best way to be. If you end up being nasty now...then it's only a matter of time before it comes back as karma to teach you a lesson. And round and round it goes weeeeeeeee
Broseph Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I'd be careful about labelling with the 'karma' thing or being smug about it. If you believe in that sort of stuff, then you must have done something to deserve being cheated on in the first place - understand what I'm saying? Karma doesn't just work in one direction or only happen to other people. Well true but at the beggining (of the karma days) when everyone was on the same playing field someone must have done something to sway the power. Hence, at some point in time someone who was inncocent could have been wrongly done.
TaraMaiden Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 if you really want to know what Karma is, it's basically the consequence to a volitional action - something done with a deliberate intention in mind, and it is a consequence of Thoughts, Words and Actions. And the karma may be from something just done, done a long time ago, or done in a previous life. karma isn't judgemental or critical. It's just a process, and it happens with good stuff, as well as bad. It's not retribution, it's not condemnatory. It just 'Is'. Are we clear, now?
almita Posted October 5, 2009 Posted October 5, 2009 Hi Tara Maiden I'm Alma I read some of your posts to Mimiminx and they really touched me and I would like to ask you could you read my thread it's been 27 days and all I wanna do is call him and pleas tell me what you think ?? I feel so helpless and I o all the wrong thinsg it seems, however I can#t seem to pretend I am happily moving on when I am not. Thank you in advance and I would be happy to hear from you Almita x
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