fofiffs Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 so how many people think i should just go there in person and see what is said? i actually have heard that pretty frequently that the words mean nothing its showing it...im def gonna wait a few days give him some time to respond but i dont know if thats creepy or romantic haha...def one or the other... Well if you really want him back go over there and see what happens. Let us know the outcome.. Link to post Share on other sites
001bh Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I'd second that. You dumped him, you sent him a letter, if anything is to come of this you should go to him. It shows that you care and are not looking for removal of guilt ( i hope). Go, go now! (and then tell us what happens of course.....) Link to post Share on other sites
Author dopaminefiend7 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 eiiii this is definitely a intense thing to do....are you sure its not a creep move? haha i just feel like when he didnt respond that means he doesnt want me to contact him? in which i dont understand why he doesnt just delete me from his account then...but just like what fofiffs said about how if i meant something to him he would have gotten a hold of me...althought a lot of people on here seem to agree that the dumpee will not respond to any sort of "friends" letter...at the same time i feel like its some what of a good thing he didnt just say u know what we re cool we can be buds now at least his feelings are there enough not to be quickly willing to do that...anyways im just freaked the F out about him being like uhhhh why the hell are you here...plus he has roommates so they get to see awkward moments if they happen...but he IS worth it...ahhh i need some clarity Link to post Share on other sites
fofiffs Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 eiiii this is definitely a intense thing to do....are you sure its not a creep move? haha i just feel like when he didnt respond that means he doesnt want me to contact him? in which i dont understand why he doesnt just delete me from his account then...but just like what fofiffs said about how if i meant something to him he would have gotten a hold of me...althought a lot of people on here seem to agree that the dumpee will not respond to any sort of "friends" letter...at the same time i feel like its some what of a good thing he didnt just say u know what we re cool we can be buds now at least his feelings are there enough not to be quickly willing to do that...anyways im just freaked the F out about him being like uhhhh why the hell are you here...plus he has roommates so they get to see awkward moments if they happen...but he IS worth it...ahhh i need some clarity Well answer me this, do you want him back? You are the dumper you know..lol..Not all people are the same. Some dumpees will quicly respond back to letter of reconciliation and some just don't respond back because they just don't want to get hurt. To me it seems like your not sure of what you really want right now. Its like you want him back and don't want him back at the same time. You should maybe take some time to figure out what it is that you really want out of this. Don't jump into a situation right away like when you broke up with him. Asses the situation first then figure out your plan off action then do it. Kinda like a combat situation..lol.. Love is like a battle. You win some and you loose some. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dopaminefiend7 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 fofiffs have i mentioned that you're awesome? thank you that was awesome advice..and insight..i will definitely take some time to assess...thank u so much... Link to post Share on other sites
fofiffs Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 fofiffs have i mentioned that you're awesome? thank you that was awesome advice..and insight..i will definitely take some time to assess...thank u so much... Lol Thanks keep us up to date with your situation. We're always here if you need someone to talk to. Oh yeah by the way I was stationed in TX for 2 yrs. Had a blast over there. Especially Austin and San Antonio. Had good memories in that state. Sorry just had a nostalgic moment there for a second..lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author dopaminefiend7 Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 aww ya i love austin! glad you enjoyed the state! personally i would like to get on outta here but im not the best rep for tx haha...anyhow do you think that letter is just like breaking up with him all over again in a nicer way i read over it a few times and i thought it would stand out that i reached out at all and on top of it that i said i have feelings for him that never fade...but is it the friendship thing that just stands out the most...?blah the only reason i seem ambivalent on if i want ot be with him or not...is fear...but hes great..i really thought he would be excited i was on the same pg with him (since he started to back out before me i think?) and that he'd be relieved i wasnt like PLEASE BE WITH ME i dunno thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
fofiffs Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 aww ya i love austin! glad you enjoyed the state! personally i would like to get on outta here but im not the best rep for tx haha...anyhow do you think that letter is just like breaking up with him all over again in a nicer way i read over it a few times and i thought it would stand out that i reached out at all and on top of it that i said i have feelings for him that never fade...but is it the friendship thing that just stands out the most...?blah the only reason i seem ambivalent on if i want ot be with him or not...is fear...but hes great..i really thought he would be excited i was on the same pg with him (since he started to back out before me i think?) and that he'd be relieved i wasnt like PLEASE BE WITH ME i dunno thoughts? From my opinion it kinda seems like a lets be friends kinda letter. You say that you would still want to be a part off his life, you say your not sure if you want to be in a relationship, then you end it with a lets be friends one day. I'm not sure what he's really thinking right now cuz I don't know the guy. So really he could be thinking anything. If I were you, just wait a little bit and see if he responds back if not you can always go over his place and find out in person. I mean you did dump him even with though you saw some red flags in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
001bh Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Geez if it were me (and believe me I'm waiting on my ex and may never get the same opportunity) I prob would not respond at all until you were beating down my door. The last thing I would want to hear is "let's just be friends." I'd prefer a complete disconnection. The "I want you in my life" is just plain selfish if you ask me. It makes you feel as if you were a failure and won't ever be able to fix your mistakes that you may not have even known you had at the time. It's a constant reminder of rejection and destroy's one's self esteem. Sorry for being so harsh, but I'm in a very similar situation as your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 People need to stop sugarcoating and be honest. He's not going to want you back. You were the dumper, he was the dumpee. If he had wanted you back, he would have immediately made an effort to contact you those first few works of break up just to change your mind. This guy is probably thinking " what's wrong with this girl? First she dumps me now she's writing to get me back.." Do you get the irony? And your pride does have to do with everything. You already wrote him a long letter explaining your actions why do you feel the need to go all the way to his house just to get his answer? Not only would you be unable to change his mind, but you'll appear desperate in his eyes. He'll probably just gloat. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I wouldnt respond, either. Whats there to respond to? You dumped him, and said you didnt know if you wanted to be with anyone (which sounds like utter BS, honestly), and you wanted to be friends. That message would have been deleted so fast. Your letter was basically a fishing line to see if he would respond, but there wasnt much for him to respond to. And like someone else said, I dont even think you want him back, per say, its like you just want to know you can contact him and get a response. Also, myspace message = super weak. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dopaminefiend7 Posted September 19, 2009 Author Share Posted September 19, 2009 hahah BCCA i agree myspace msg=extremely weak...blah i dont want to just be his friend thought...im an idiot and wasnt completely honest bc i didnt want him to give me a big F U...he has broken up with my a few times so i thought he;d be a little bit more empathic..bleh this dumper crap isnt all its cracked up to be Link to post Share on other sites
Author dopaminefiend7 Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 this weekend has been pretty hard..continuing to try to let go of the outcome...i know i broke it off and i get that..i was scared no excuse..i just wish i could talk to him about everything..that negative feedback i got really pushed me down..that if he really cared he would have contacted me..he has always been a prideful guy so i defintely dont see him doin that. i hate that i hurt him despite how much he has hurt me in our past. Love is patient right... Link to post Share on other sites
fofiffs Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 You got to stop torturing yourself. If he hasn't called you, theres really not much you can do at this point. I say just try to move on and try to stop pinning over him Link to post Share on other sites
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