boldjack Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 RTS, From your other posts, do you think that YOUR occupation has anything to do with this? Perhaps yor BF isn't as open-minded as you are. Just sayin. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReturnToSender Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 RTS, From your other posts, do you think that YOUR occupation has anything to do with this? Perhaps yor BF isn't as open-minded as you are. Just sayin. Thanks, but no that is not it. Hes not at all judgmental and genuinely open-minded. When I decided to tell him I do cam, wed only been together a couple of months...I was SO nervous...I know how some guys can be and I didnt want him to look at me differently...I really liked him!!!...and to make things worse, when Im nervous..I stutter!!! By the time I finally fumbled though my words and put it out there I do cam, he said "OMG thats it?! For a moment there I thought you were going to say something bad!" Actually, if anyones occupation was going to be a threat to our relationship...it would be his. Hes a musician! And though I really believed he was not "one of those" as it turned out...a groupie got to him. All the same...thats something thats all on him. Im not at all to blame for what he did. And with what we are going through..with that and also the sexual issue...we are being as open and honest with each other as possible, and have decided what we have together is worth the effort it will take to work through it. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 That's what I was wondering, RTS. If I were you, I definitely would not go the swinging route. Apart from the danger of STD's, it usually brings up trust and committment issues. Now this is just my opinion, but I think that you two should be communicating more. Sex issues , in a relationship, can only be solved, when you both approach the problem AS A COUPLE. It requires a little work, but is more rewarding that going to somebody , outside of the relationship, for sex. He needs to realize that your needs are important, and that it's not all about the job, that the relationship is just as important as the work. Good Luck, I hope things work out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReturnToSender Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 That's what I was wondering, RTS. If I were you, I definitely would not go the swinging route. Apart from the danger of STD's, it usually brings up trust and committment issues. Now this is just my opinion, but I think that you two should be communicating more. Sex issues , in a relationship, can only be solved, when you both approach the problem AS A COUPLE. It requires a little work, but is more rewarding that going to somebody , outside of the relationship, for sex. He needs to realize that your needs are important, and that it's not all about the job, that the relationship is just as important as the work. Good Luck, I hope things work out. Youre preaching to the choir...lol! Read the rest of what I said the thread To make it easy for ya, Ill quote myself here: Im not going to bring up swinging and getting involved with another woman or anything like that. That definitely was just me talking crazy talk and bouncing off the walls with sexual frustration hah! Im thinking way clearer now, and I know..as absolutely rediculous as it may seem, he is the only person I want to be with...and I dont want to be with anyone else even if its like this for awhile. And in the rest of the thread, I did update on how we've been openly talking to each other about things...trying to work through this together. I might have had my thoughts, but I didnt come close to following through on them. I really dont want anyone else. If we did start swinging, the worst of it woudlnt be what youre saying...hes been in relationships as a swinger before...and had idly brought it up when we first started dating but I wasnt up for it so it was forgotten about. The worse of it would be me feeling horrible that the man I want doesnt want me and I have to get it from somewhere else. Id rather not have it at all than feel that way. But like I said...hes actively working to resolve this, and Im doing what I can be be patient and supportive. I can only hope for the best at this point...! Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Sounds like you have a good handle on this problem. I used to be a "workaholic", stayed at the office, all hours, but when My kids started to ask why daddy couldn't come to their school programs or to ballgames, I quit trying to race rats, and have never been sorry. Get him off the job, and you'll get laid more!:D Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReturnToSender Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 LMFAO! Yeah, a little part of me wants to be Yoko and break up the band That will never happen though, Im incredibly proud of him and its great to be with someone who has a passion for what they do, and actually be able to see that pay off. To his merit..he has refused work to be able to be there for kiddos christmas pagents and end of year pagents and awards ceremonies etc etc...and he always keeps Sundays free for our family day..if impossible, he will ask to move our family day to Saturday. He really is great about that...I really cant say hes not trying, I know he is. Its just something I gotta deal with to be with him...and Im willing to do that. I just need to get laid more so I dont get wound up so tight is all Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Jeez, RTS, I sure hope you're better looking than YOKO.:laugh: I always thought that she was homelier than hell.:D Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReturnToSender Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 Omg...yeah, Id like to think so too! Lmfao! But hey, she had great taste in men and music, cant fault her for that Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 RTS, when do you get PM capability? We may not agree on some things, but I think you're a very interesting poster. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ReturnToSender Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 I have no idea actually! I thought I read somewhere after 5 days I become established and allowed to PM? But I think Ive been there longer than that... Were you granted PM capabilities..or did you become a supporting member? ETA: I dont know where I got 5 days from..hah! I did some searching...apparently its after a month and/or undetermined amount of posts. Sooooo...hopefully Im soon coming with that. Thanks for the reach out Link to post Share on other sites
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