Author runnergal Posted September 6, 2009 Author Share Posted September 6, 2009 I appreciate everyone's input but Kamille is the only one that seems to be getting the point. Alanon is not silly! Don't knock something until you try it. Just one meeting helped me tremendiously. It's not about being an alcoholic or being in a relationship with an alcoholic, it's about helping YOU find what the core of the problem is. For years I have been extremely codependent and obsessive about having someone else validate me, as Kamille stated. You go to Alanon for YOU not THEM. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Cupcakes Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 Oh I get it. It seems you're making all this fuss over a guy who doesn't even consider you his girlfriend. Go your separate ways, then you don't have to go to Alanon, or whatever it's called, because he won't be in your life....which it doesn't sound like he really is, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Oh I get it. It seems you're making all this fuss over a guy who doesn't even consider you his girlfriend. Go your separate ways, then you don't have to go to Alanon, or whatever it's called, because he won't be in your life....which it doesn't sound like he really is, anyway. Relax pink its not as easy some times to just remove negative people from our lives as it should be! Sure we know its the right thing to do but its not always easy to accept when you care about some one. Hey if Allaon can help the OP then really whats the harm maybe it can help her to see she deserves better and move on.. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 I appreciate everyone's input but Kamille is the only one that seems to be getting the point. Alanon is not silly! Don't knock something until you try it. Just one meeting helped me tremendiously. It's not about being an alcoholic or being in a relationship with an alcoholic, it's about helping YOU find what the core of the problem is. For years I have been extremely codependent and obsessive about having someone else validate me, as Kamille stated. You go to Alanon for YOU not THEM. I have been in Al-Anon and CoDa for most of my adult life and they are the best thing since sliced bread. Most of my r have been with active or recovering addicts/alcoholics. Believe me- they will drive you absolutely nuts (recovering or not)!! They are just very complicated and a lot of times, bipolar with low self esteem. You can go to your meetings but I still say- get rid of him. You admitted yourself that he is NOT into you and that he is into the BOTTLE. You can't compete with the bottle. CoDa meetings are the absolute best. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Cupcakes Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 Runnergal, has he said 'I love you' to you, or called you his girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Cupcakes Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 I thought not. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 Signs you're dating an alcoholic- They offer you a Gin and Tonic for breakfast on sunday morning. And monday, and tuesday... The wet the bed and blame it on the dog that you don't have. You come down to the kitchen in the morning, and there is a half eaten block of cheese, complete with teeth marks, left laying out on the worktop. The fridge door is ajar and your partner is curled up comatosed on the bathroom floor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author runnergal Posted September 12, 2009 Author Share Posted September 12, 2009 Pink, Give a person a moment to respond before you go off half-cocked. Like I said, he's an alcoholic that is apparently ashamed of his disease. Of course he hasn't called me his gfriend or that he loves me. He's a man remember??? One that is not great at verbally expressing feelings or emotions. I never asked to be his gfriend. At this point, I wouldn't want to be until he seeks help on his own. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Cupcakes Posted September 12, 2009 Share Posted September 12, 2009 So you're going to Alanon and making this fuss over this guy you just like, not even in a relationship with. Link to post Share on other sites
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