Oh Moe Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 sheithappens I'm going through hell also, my post is a few behind yours. I was blindsided didn't have a clue there was a problem, we were happy as hell one day the next she was gone. I think I did figure out one thing though, I bugged the hell out of her for the first week, smothered her I needed answers!! Finally Two weeks ago tomorrow I said after talking to her no more calling that was it. Didn't hear from her Wed, but she's called me or text me nearly every day since. She stopped by last week to give my kids a few things and I wrote a hand written note very short telling her I was a butt head for bothering her and I accepted the break up and have fun with her space. the first thing she said was Wow you sure about this, then she said this means more to her then anything ???? She called the next day and talked all day and even went as far as asking me what I thought of her, I told her several times I didn't want to go there but she insisted, I think she's ashamed of what she did.(WE love each other so much, we never fought argued or had the slightest disagreement in 2+ years) She even admitted to still loving me but I already new that. She even allowed me to take her kids out one night, they love me as their dad. And they admitted they had a blast. Anyway show no interest and I'm no probably not even going to return her calls for at least two more weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 14, 2009 Author Share Posted September 14, 2009 good luck my friend.... i have not talked to my ex in a month, have been broken up with her for about a month and a half...... i am not bothering her or anything because i know she needs to focus on her test or whatever reasons she has.... i hope this shows her that i am maturing and being respectful of her wishes ...... i still feel i should do something in a couple of weeks to show her i still care...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 15, 2009 Author Share Posted September 15, 2009 i also do not really want to cling on to false hope, she did start talking to our mutual friend again but has not brought me up or anything Link to post Share on other sites
001bh Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 i need a motorcycle.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 15, 2009 Author Share Posted September 15, 2009 lol, we all, lol.......... HELP!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dopaminefiend7 Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 man i say go for it...moving on is essential when you make your last attempt put your feelings out there and if the answer is still a solid no...time to move it on down the road...but you will never know unless you try...i can get suggestions and advice from people all day long about what they think is right but at the end of the day i have to be ok with my decisions and i can honestly say...today i am...i sent my ex an email (hes the dumpee) and did it with no expectations of his reaction...the important thing is to get your feelings out there and whatever is done on the other side is no longer your business unless of course they want it to be...best of luck to u... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 15, 2009 Author Share Posted September 15, 2009 thanks, i started therapy for my anger because she would always complain about that, i dont want her to know that im doing this so i havent told out mutual friends about it, i just want her to know that i am serious about her and i ....... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 15, 2009 Author Share Posted September 15, 2009 i am really nervous about the outcome, i am going in to it thinking the worst .... although i should be positive ..... Link to post Share on other sites
brightlights Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 I had NC with my ex for 4 months before he e-mailed me. We dated for about 4yrs, so I understand. If she really loved you, then she still loves you and is having just as much of a hard time as you are right now. She probably won't vent about it with a mutual friend for obvious reason (and pride of course), but that doesn't mean she isn't hurting. If you want to send her flowers with the card encouraging her that this 3rd time will be fine, make sure to send it so she receives it the day she takes the test, but after is already over (like the afternoon or something). Don't go crazy on the flowers, keep them simple and to her favorite. Don't loose hope, eventually you guys will talk regardless of what the outcome will be and either gain closure or a stronger relationship....kudos on the counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 thanks brightlights, what happened with your ex? this NC sucks!!!!! you don't think its creepy that i send them on the day of her test !?!?! like since we havent spoken in a month? that was my first instince which is to send them on the day of the test , i know she is super stressed about it since this is her 3rd time taking it and like she graduated college already and cant find a job Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 16, 2009 Author Share Posted September 16, 2009 how can someone just fall out of love so fast Link to post Share on other sites
Broseph Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Hey Sheit, Donovan broke his rib eh, ummm yeah lets just say that it hasn't been the best month for me. Anyways, what brightlights said was awesome that I wouldn't intend to get it there until after her test. You wouldn't want to make her emotional before the test ya know. Thinking back on this scenerio I remember when I was younger and a girl I was dating dumped me before exams because she wanted to concenetrate. I left her be and 2 weeks later after her test she called and we went out and before you knew it we were back together and stronger than ever. She sucks though... I also agree that she is probably not out of love, everyone copes differently but we all have emotions and feelings. In the end think about yourself, make yourself the most important thing. I am coming to grips with my situation, i want to get back with her bad and still have strong emotions but onto that whateevr happens stage. I realize that everything is gonna be allright in the end, I hope you realize this too. Dont get me wrong it still hurts but I take this as a compliment that I cared this much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 thanks broseph, yeah man that sucks about the eagles, urlacher is out for the season, i am really bummed about that...... yeah your right , would it be weird that if she got home after test the flowers are there? or wait a couple of days then send them?.... i dont want to scare her away or anything you know, yeah i know if she dont come back im not going to die .... but it just sucks she isnt by my side you know Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 S- I read your post and I personally wouldn't recommend the flowers. I'm not sure how bad your temper is, so that's not even a component. You should not "buy" your way back in when you make a mistake. We smell it a mile away and it's a push instead of a pull. We hate that guys only do nice things when tehy screw up and she won't appreciate them. Also, it will allow her to take you for granted and to not miss you. As a female going through this, I stand by what I'm saying. Although it's a bit touchier since he did quite a bit more damage than you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 i agree, but i have gad not contact for a month and a half..... my temper is not that bad i dont yell or anything i just stay quiet..... i use to take her flowers all the time but towards the end i didnt..... i kinda rekindle it ...... i am so confused Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 i am really scared right now because i dont know if she is rebounding or anything..... i dont know crap, i know the obvious which is she is trying to move since she hasnt tried to contact me, or that she can be really busy with her new job and studying for the lsat Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 That's great that you're not just a mistake flower giver. However, you are broken up and the motive is pretty clear. I still wouldn't do it. Just because of how long it's been and how it'll have the opposite effect intended. I would sit tight, wait til you're emotionally together (maybe even another month or however long it takes) then contact her for a casual, light talk. I don't think your'e even close yet, however. Read up on push pull. Link to post Share on other sites
Broseph Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I agree maybe all this is setting yourself up for a bigger fall... as since your break you have hinged on sending this after her test. I guess in the end you might already be decided in your head, what your gonna do. I give you props though for giving her space during her studies, try not to beat yourself up as much and accept the way things are right now and the way they might be. I wish you the best of luck bro Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 yeah you guys are right, what do you suggest i do?...... i know she has been busy and stuff but is she already over me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 19, 2009 Author Share Posted September 19, 2009 a week left ..... really confused....... Link to post Share on other sites
brightlights Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 I think if the flowers are sent with the note referring specifically to the test and keeping them simple, not trying to seem like it's about the relationship, just as a gesture regarding the test, they'd be okay. Be strong you almost there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 thanks, how are u feeling?, yeah that is what i am going for, like a note that just says dont worry you did great...... what else can i write on it ? Link to post Share on other sites
brightlights Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I have my days.....it's hard, I'm working on it one day at a time now......I think that would be find for the note and I wouldn't clog the note with a lot of other stuff...just keep it simple..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sheithappens Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 sounds good, i am really worried, but i know she is super busy, and obviously she is moving on since she dont try calling me or even mentions me to mutual friends and stuff i really miss her Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts