Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Omg now I remember reading about your story in another thread! So, which day are you on? either 11 12 I lost track and stopped opening the gifts and letters, I'm going to give it all back to him at the end but lol someone said that the last gift will be an engagment ring lol I hope not.
Serena2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 @caramel -- "IN FACT, the last time I saw him was the sat night before the mon morn breakup call. He planned a special night for just the two of us, made a big deal of it. And that was the last time I saw him." This is REALLY sad!! I think they sometimes act on impulse. It's weird how they can shift so fast. My guy would even shift from sentence to sentence sometimes. As I'm typing this I'm thinking. . . WTF!! . . . freak of nature is an understatement!! How did I get myself into this and why is it so hard to extract myself from it!! Like you, I really believed it was true love because parts of it were truly beautiful. And I knew he had some weirdness and I was willing to accept it . . . but not this . . . not the way he just ended it at its peak!! We deserve so much more than this!! We are all caring and compassionate people!! You read the posts from the guys on this forum and the vast majority have heart AND soul!! Why aren't OUR GUYS posting on these boards working at getting THEIR **** together?!! It speaks volumes!!
soheartbroken Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Hey Peanut, I know it's bad for you, but a lot of us WISH our exes wanted to contact us!!!! Icyness, I know you know what I'm talking about! Caramel, if you want to know my thoughts at this moment, I started a new thread called "Coping with regret". Man this hurts so bad... Who's on SNL tonight? Extra butter...yummy!
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Wow Peanut! He must be kicking himself for doing what he did to you. I still wish mine was doing something like to me, lol. Ugh. Icy let me tell you this a few weeks back I remember thinking that if he came back and showed me how much he truly loves me that I would be the happiest person in the world and we can work on our issues and be toggether once again, but the reality hit and he's back and its not as great as I pictured it...Like I said they always come back when you moved on they realize what they had when its too late.
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Hey Peanut, I know it's bad for you, but a lot of us WISH our exes wanted to contact us!!!! Icyness, I know you know what I'm talking about! Caramel, if you want to know my thoughts at this moment, I started a new thread called "Coping with regret". Man this hurts so bad... Who's on SNL tonight? Extra butter...yummy! I understand that beleive me I feel for you guys I felt like that at one point also and i'm sorry that you guys have to go through all this pain, I remember when I felt that way I was a zombie I fell into a daily routine and each and every day I was miserable and hurting. I had a hard time doing anything I didnt feel like going out or working I never smiled. I was so hurt and felt so alone without him. So beleive me I understand even now when i'm doing good I still have my moments sometimes, it takes time to heal I would love to be with him but I know he wont change anytime soon and I dont want to go through the heartbreak again.
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Posted August 30, 2009 either 11 12 I lost track and stopped opening the gifts and letters, I'm going to give it all back to him at the end but lol someone said that the last gift will be an engagment ring lol I hope not. I hope not too. I don't know how you feel about it but I think proposing during a breakup is inappropriate.
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Posted August 30, 2009 @caramel -- "IN FACT, the last time I saw him was the sat night before the mon morn breakup call. He planned a special night for just the two of us, made a big deal of it. And that was the last time I saw him." This is REALLY sad!! I think they sometimes act on impulse. It's weird how they can shift so fast. My guy would even shift from sentence to sentence sometimes. As I'm typing this I'm thinking. . . WTF!! . . . freak of nature is an understatement!! How did I get myself into this and why is it so hard to extract myself from it!! Like you, I really believed it was true love because parts of it were truly beautiful. And I knew he had some weirdness and I was willing to accept it . . . but not this . . . not the way he just ended it at its peak!! We deserve so much more than this!! We are all caring and compassionate people!! You read the posts from the guys on this forum and the vast majority have heart AND soul!! Why aren't OUR GUYS posting on these boards working at getting THEIR **** together?!! It speaks volumes!! It takes everything I've got to think that we are going to get what we deserve and the hard path we've been down is all going to be worth it. I do have an otherwise fufilling life but I am about to take it to a new level because I don't think I've done enough to help the unfortunate in my community. I come from a middle eastern culture. I'm Iraqi, both my parents immigrated. We don't have any family still there, but there have been refugees arriving lately to my area and I think there are many ways I can help them out. I am going to consider channelling my energy in that way for now.
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 SHB, I sure do! Icy let me tell you this a few weeks back I remember thinking that if he came back and showed me how much he truly loves me that I would be the happiest person in the world and we can work on our issues and be toggether once again, but the reality hit and he's back and its not as great as I pictured it...Like I said they always come back when you moved on they realize what they had when its too late. It's amazing how much I've read of exactly that occurring. When you finally really and truly let go, here they come. I keep thinking how he made it sound as if he really wanted nothing more to do with me ever again and I really think I'm never going to hear from him, but you never know. I've read where people had worse break-ups and situations than mine, and they felt strongly it was it for them too, then they're in shock months, even years down the line to get a call from the ex. It's so weird. I'm really curious as to see what will occur in the next few month as far as he's concerned. But I also completely get what you're saying as far as it not being the same. Each time I complain to my sister she asks me "do you really think you could go back to him after what he did to you? it won't be the same, you won't have what you did before." I know it's true. Now that almost 2 months have passed, even though I dearly want him back and feel I always will, my logic tells me it wouldn't feel nearly as good as I'm hoping it would be simply because of what he did to me. At first you don't care about any of that and just want to rectify it right away, but then time passes and you start to think. Wanting him back and actually getting him back are two very different things, and I'm sure I'll find that out if the time ever comes. So confused about it all.
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Posted August 30, 2009 Hey Peanut, I know it's bad for you, but a lot of us WISH our exes wanted to contact us!!!! Icyness, I know you know what I'm talking about! Caramel, if you want to know my thoughts at this moment, I started a new thread called "Coping with regret". Man this hurts so bad... Who's on SNL tonight? Extra butter...yummy! Listen, I am a professional popcorn popper. I use a large brown paper bag. When the popcorn is done popping, it goes into the bag. Layer the salt and butter, close the bag and shake. Repeat 3 times. -The Popcorn master
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Listen, I am a professional popcorn popper. I use a large brown paper bag. When the popcorn is done popping, it goes into the bag. Layer the salt and butter, close the bag and shake. Repeat 3 times. -The Popcorn master You're gonna make us all want popcorn now, lol.
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 You're gonna make us all want popcorn now, lol. Lol I know i'm gonna make some now
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Posted August 30, 2009 I have no business eating this much popcorn. This bowl is bigger than I am. Oh my...
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I have no business eating this much popcorn. This bowl is bigger than I am. Oh my... That's the problem the best kind of food for comfort in unhealthy, i'm eating ice cream right now wating for my popcorn lol
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Posted August 30, 2009 That's the problem the best kind of food for comfort in unhealthy, i'm eating ice cream right now wating for my popcorn lol LOL I WISH I could have ice cream, I have a bit of a lactose problem. You enjoy! BTW popcorn isnt too bad. It's a whole grain, after all. Its the butter and salt that makes it bad...
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Don't feel bad ladies I'm doing it too. I went from not being able to hold down anything but water a month ago to now grazing on everything all the time. It's their fault!
soheartbroken Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I want to make some but my brother only has microwave stuff. I want the real air popped kind! ICY: I'm at the point now where I know the second time around would not work. I still love her and would take her back, but I know another romantic relationship would not work. I'm like you though, in that I don't expect her to ever come back around. She will definitely never ask me to come back. The most I can hope for is friendship, but I don't think I'll get that either. Sad to think, isn't it? I forget how long it's been for you?
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I want to make some but my brother only has microwave stuff. I want the real air popped kind! ICY: I'm at the point now where I know the second time around would not work. I still love her and would take her back, but I know another romantic relationship would not work. I'm like you though, in that I don't expect her to ever come back around. She will definitely never ask me to come back. The most I can hope for is friendship, but I don't think I'll get that either. Sad to think, isn't it? I forget how long it's been for you? I feel ya SHB. I think I'm caught up in the feeling of the past; I romanticize it in my head that that's how it would be again when in reality it most likely wouldn't. I feel like I won't get his friendship either, but it's still early indeed for us both, you never know. And most of the time, in general, when you had a decent relationship and there was love, I think people do find their way back to each other someday, even if only as friends. Another week or and it will have been 2 months for me. You?
soheartbroken Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 It's been 7 weeks since the breakup. 10 days of NC. I'm a little worried that although we didn't end on really bad terms, that when she looks back on the relationship, she will see all my flaws, and not want to be friends. In fact, soon after we broke up she seemed uncomfortable around me, and I worry that that will never change. This blows.
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 It's been 7 weeks since the breakup. 10 days of NC. I'm a little worried that although we didn't end on really bad terms, that when she looks back on the relationship, she will see all my flaws, and not want to be friends. In fact, soon after we broke up she seemed uncomfortable around me, and I worry that that will never change. This blows. I feel exactly the same. I'm worried at this point that only the negative aspects are running through his head and they'll stick rather than any good coming in. (Although apparently, it takes a couple of months or so for the dumper to get through those "bad" thoughts about you, then after that they will naturally begin to reminisce about the good.) I'm scared to death he really wants nothing more to do with me ever again, but if it really comes down to that, then I suppose he was never the good-hearted person I thought he was, as I never did anything that bad to him to deserve a life time of his silence. It's a fear I may very well have to face one day..I really don't know how I will if this happens.
Peanut9330 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 It's been 7 weeks since the breakup. 10 days of NC. I'm a little worried that although we didn't end on really bad terms, that when she looks back on the relationship, she will see all my flaws, and not want to be friends. In fact, soon after we broke up she seemed uncomfortable around me, and I worry that that will never change. This blows. You need to give her some time to heal, i'm sure she has many good memories of you as well. You been toghether for so long and yes right now her feelings are raw but after time she will start to remember all the good things about your relationship and the bad ones will fade away, and at that point you guys can work on being friends.
Author caramel c Posted August 30, 2009 Author Posted August 30, 2009 I feel exactly the same. I'm worried at this point that only the negative aspects are running through his head and they'll stick rather than any good coming in. (Although apparently, it takes a couple of months or so for the dumper to get through those "bad" thoughts about you, then after that they will naturally begin to reminisce about the good.) I'm scared to death he really wants nothing more to do with me ever again, but if it really comes down to that, then I suppose he was never the good-hearted person I thought he was, as I never did anything that bad to him to deserve a life time of his silence. It's a fear I may very well have to face one day..I really don't know how I will if this happens. You will be prepared for it. You are preparing yourself right now and seeking support from others.
soheartbroken Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 I so hope you're right Peanut! I guess, Icy, that by the time the day roles around where you know he wants nothing more to do with you, that you will be over him? That's what I'm hoping.
phoenix1 Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Well, I don't feel so bad, I'm not the only one. I am sitting at home, alone, feeling lonely, reading LS. Then I'll probably watch TV. Whoopee! This is where it kills me, because he has already hooked up with someone, and honestly I'll be surprised if it lasts, but I know HE's not lonely, or alone. He's probably enjoying the rush of a new relationship, with someone who thinks he's fabulous, because he can play that real good at first... I too would NEVER let him know I am sitting here like a lonely loser.
icyness Posted August 30, 2009 Posted August 30, 2009 Don't even think for one second you're a loser Phoenix. And no you are definitely not alone, we're all here for you, and we're all feeling/doing the same things. I'm so sorry sweetie, it's absolutely torturous thinking of what they may up to, especially if you know they're currently with someone else. In the end though, it really is their loss. *hugs*
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