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How can I be nice about this...


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Posted

So, Teva guy keeps on writing me through the dating site I'm on. This is the third time. I haven't written back once.

 

He keeps on saying he sees me at the cafe I frequent daily by my apartment, which makes me feel really creeped out and uncomfortable. I actually think I saw him there once, and yes! He was wearing tevas!

 

He wants to meet me and says, "I saw you at the cafe yesterday..."

 

Honestly, he seems like a nice enough guy, but he really shouldn't be telling women he's spying on them. It's weird and not cool.

 

I want to write him saying I'm just not interested, so he doesn't keep on writing me. I also want to tell him not to come up to me in the cafe since he will probably see me there again.

 

Is this mean of me? I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also want to make it clear that this scenario makes me uncomfortable.

Posted

Yikes- this sounds pretty creepy.

 

I normally would advocate being honest with someone but in this case, I think you might be better off emailing him and letting him know that you've started to see someone else and are pursuing that. I definitely think that you should send him some sort of message to be clear that you aren't interested and hopefully he will leave you alone. Maybe skip that coffee shop for a bit and be careful. He'll likely find someone else to watch in a few days ofter you tell him that you've found someone else.

Posted

Then just be honest. "It makes me uncomfortable being watched when I'm going about my day trying to relax. I don't think you and I really click. I'm not really interested in pursuing this any further. Thank you." Direct, honest, straightforward. I don't think it's left open for interpretation and at the same time doesn't say, "Hey, crazy mofo stalker - leave me alone."

Posted

He's not spying on you. He just happened to notice you at a public place. Seems like he's a bit too shy to just come up to you when he sees you.

 

You should have guts and grace enough to talk to him if he approaches you. Don't tell him to stay away. That's how chix behave.

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