hopeful1980 Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 For the OP, it's all about the sex. That's not an insult to him, it's just that sex is what matters. Other forms of intimacy are crumbs. I really wish women would get this. When a man in a committed relationship is being sexually rejected, it's not just the act that's being turned down. It's the fact that she's rejecting him totally, as a man, as a provider, as a lover, as a confidant, as, well, everything. Yes, men take sexual rejection in a committed relationship terribly personally because a sexual rejection is a rejection of all he is as a man. And since most men need affirmations from their partner that they're respected in the relationship for who they are and what they do, a sexual rejection is pretty much about the coldest thing a woman can do to her man. I am a wife and I get this. But what is his wife supposed to do if she isn't feeling sexual? Is she just supposed to "take one for the team?" I don't need sex as much as my husband. I'm pretty good with having sex once a week, but he wants it more. If he doesn't make me feel like having sex by helping me around the house, giving me compliments and the like I will feel like a whore if I have sex with him when I don't want too. Plain and simple. Just as no man likes to feel rejection, women don't like feeling like au underappreciated sex slave. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I'm pretty good with having sex once a week, but he wants it more.[ ... ] I will feel like a whore if I have sex with him when I don't want too. Plain and simple. Just as no man likes to feel rejection, women don't like feeling like an underappreciated sex slave. Then you should encourage him to play more on his PlayStation... Link to post Share on other sites
hopeful1980 Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Then you should encourage him to play more on his PlayStation... What? I don't see how that applies here. It's not that I don't WANT to have sex with my husband. It's just that with all the other things I have to do, having sex at the end of the night feels like a chore and it's like more work. That's not relaxing to me. What I'm saying is that if the OP maybe took the time to figure out what would make his wife want to have sex and understood that it's not necessarily the same things that turned him on, things might get better. Somebody has to make the first move. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 What made the sex such a chore considering how enthused about sex you seem to be nowadays? The sex she gets now is not from her husband. It was her husband that made it a chore. Link to post Share on other sites
bayouboi Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 The sex she gets now is not from her husband. It was her husband that made it a chore. Thank you, I understood that. I'm asking about why the sex with her ex became such a chore. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 What? I don't see how that applies here. It's not that I don't WANT to have sex with my husband. It's just that with all the other things I have to do, having sex at the end of the night feels like a chore and it's like more work. That's not relaxing to me. What I'm saying is that if the OP maybe took the time to figure out what would make his wife want to have sex and understood that it's not necessarily the same things that turned him on, things might get better. Somebody has to make the first move. it was a joke... hence the little face... Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 With my ex...boyfriend, not husband () it was HIM that went off of sex. So I can relate to the men here. As someone said earlier that they felt unmanly because of the rejection, I felt unwomanly. The rejection becomes a bitterness. However I do think it simply comes down to this: people get BORED of each other. I mean sex with the same body, the same positions, the same noises, the same process - its boring. That is the simple truth. Sex is interesting in the beginning when it is NEW and there is VARIETY. However even if you experiment there is only so much you can do. Even though I loved my ex, and I liked having sex with him, I knew EXACTLY how it would go. Its like the same every time, even when you shake it up, and I can see why to some people it can seem like a waste of energy and time and silly little 'girly' things like messing up your hair and getting sweaty for something that might not feel that good. Also one thing I think many men don't want to face. Do you make her cum? Have you ever? Sorry to be so frank but....many women fake orgasms, many men NEVER get it right. Just like a husband thats bored of his wife and uses porn, your wife may be bored and taking care of her own needs. Its easier and quicker than explaining to another person what you like and I personally think nothing kills the mood quicker than TELLING someone what you like. This is the catch 22. We would all love for someone to read our minds and give us exactly what we want. BUT I think, telling someone what you like is SUCH a mood kill. SO you just let them figure it out. Sometimes they get it right. Sometimes they get it wrong. Womens bodies are confusing and theres no clear indicator we are having fun. We can all be actors! So truthfully....have you ever made your wife cum? Or was she pretending in the early days because it was fun enough? But now its boring and she does it herself? This is harsh...but seriously I think this is what it is for loads of women. Link to post Share on other sites
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