westernxer Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 This is a spin-off of a thread about dating alcoholics. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=197113 Now for the flip side... I refrain from drinking and have done so for a couple of years now (lifestyle choice). Makes socializing a bit awkward, as it limits my options during evening hours. Playing it sober in a room full of happy drinkers is such a drag, too. You're either in or out. This girl I saw awhile back said she had stopped drinking (she volunteered this information before I had the chance to bring it up). Next thing I knew, she was in the process of running up a nice little bar tab. I never saw her again, but she was psycho (long story). LOL Would you date someone knowing they don't drink? I admit to having some reservations about dating someone who does, but I try to be open minded. It's easier said than done though. Even if you try not to render judgment, in most cases you can't help but do so. It's human nature, and mine tends to favor chicks who don't drink, even if they're really hot. So, what's your take?
butcher's hook Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Honestly? No. I've tried it an I felt under scrutiny if I wanted to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine over dinner. Mind you this guy turned out to be a bit of a control freak so perhaps that was the bigger issue, but long term I just don't see how that would mesh. It's like being an "I eat everything eater" and dating a vegan, that would totally spoil the relationship. Ok maybe that example is more extreme but you get my point....
Author westernxer Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 Ok maybe that example is more extreme but you get my point.... I totally understand what you mean. Thanks for the honest answer.
thegoodlife Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I would. But I'm also not a big drinker myself, might have a few every couple months or so.
Author westernxer Posted August 3, 2009 Author Posted August 3, 2009 The irony in choosing not to drink is that I had a much better time when I was a social drinker, and I admit that my mouth waters at those Sam Adams commercials, so I understand why people would want to have a drink with dinner or go out with friends occasionally. But I learned to never say never because I'll end up drinking those words someday. For now it suffices me to say that I've chosen the path of greater resistance. LOL
Citizen Erased Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I'm not sure such a person exists in this country. I would date them but I'm not big on drinking myself. As long as they didn't get pissy with me for have a drink here or there, it really wouldn't bother me. I don't like people better when they are drunk, people tend to actually be more annoying.
butcher's hook Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I totally understand what you mean. Thanks for the honest answer. Then again if I were to fall in love with someone whom I didn't expect to develop feelings for and we started off as friends and then it turned out they were non drinkers I dunno, if I fell really hard for them I think I could give up drinking for them if I was really happy with them in every other respect. Who knows...that's a tough one if I really think about it. I guess if given the choice right off the bat I would prefer someone who is more like me would be a more realistic answer. On the flip side I cannot be with someone who drinks excessively and needs to be drinking every day. I find that really unattractive. Balance...
Isolde Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Definitely, to this one. I do enjoy drinking occasionally but have sometimes gotten sick or depressed from drinking even small amounts. Alcohol can be fun but it's really not necessary to a good lifestyle and some people just don't tolerate it well anyway.
Trialbyfire Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 No problems at all! I enjoy a drink here and there, for that matter had a glass while posting on LS last night , but it honestly doesn't matter to me if I never had another glass for the rest of my life. Now if this person were so anti-alcohol that I wasn't "allowed" to cook with it, no way!!
Soulmind Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I did actually! And was quite fun. But, we were on the same page. I'm a former ballet dancer and he was a martial arts instructor, then we spend our spare time together hiking, dancing, doing archery.. outdoors in general. We never had the need of a drink to have fun. But a key point was that a lot of our mutual friends rarely drank as well! But work commitments were the pressure in the relationship. Not the lack of alcohol.
EddieN Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 As long as they don't mind my drinking. Honestly, if a girl told me off the bat that she doesn't drink, I'd get the first impression that she was a bit of a prude, but if she showed me that she wouldn't talk down to others for drinking and was still fun to be around, I wouldn't care.
carhill Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I would thoroughly enjoy a woman with an uninhibited and bubbly personality who didn't drink. I've known a few in my life as friends and they've been great friends. Tolerant of their mates drinking and relaxed and comfortable in social situations. Sparkling cider in a champagne glass or a soft drink on the rocks and they're good to go. Excellent to have around as a designated driver. IMO, the key is dating a woman with a personality which meshes with my own. She doesn't need to bathe it in alcohol. Good on her if she enjoys drinking but more important that she enjoys me. Both my wife and I could take it (drinking) or leave it. We switched off as designated drivers so the other could imbibe without concern. I'd tolerate a non-drinker to the extent I was tolerated as a beer with my pizza guy. Speaking of which, the alarm just went off and there's a homemade pizza coming out of the oven and a beer in on ice with my name on it. Later!
Lizzie60 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 what a strange question! It's like asking would you date someone who doesn't smoke.. of course.. I would NOT date a guy who drinks too much.. rather date someone who doesn't drink AND doesn't smoke.. AND doesn't take drugs.. Can't stand the drinking... or the smoking..
WineCountry Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Man you are damned if you do, damned if you dont. If you are a raging drunk, people dont want to date you. If you are an ex raging drunk, who has gotten sober and turned your life around, people dont want to date you because they think you will always fall off the wagon and have tons of baggage. Now, it seems if you DONT drink some people dont want to date you either! WTF?? Im basically a non drinker. I drink about two times a year, and that is only on certain occasions. I just dont care that much for booze. I cant tell you how many times I've been out, and people have been SHOCKED because I dont drink. They have almost wanted to pour booze down my throat. Now, I see some poster on here claim that if his date didn't drink, he would think she was a prude! Huh?? Simply not being a drinker makes you a prude?? Does alcohol control peoples lives THAT much that you call people prudes for not drinking? Wow. I don't snort cocaine either. Does that make me even MORE of a prude?? Do people even know how to have fun without drinking?? Is it even possible for some folks?? I have never, ever judged people who drink. I could care less. Yet, I get crap from friends because I DONT drink. Honestly, I have a grand ol' time WITHOUT alcohol in my life. And let me say it again..I could care LESS if others drink. Most people I know drink. As long as the non drinker doesn't care about you drinking, then you shouldn't care about whether or not THEY drink. To each his own is how I see it.
WineCountry Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 what a strange question! It's like asking would you date someone who doesn't smoke.. of course.. I would NOT date a guy who drinks too much.. rather date someone who doesn't drink AND doesn't smoke.. AND doesn't take drugs.. Can't stand the drinking... or the smoking.. Yeah..I thought the same thing. What a strange question. I mean, it's not NDA ( Non Drinkers Annoymous ) meetings you see all over the place.
johan Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 My boss gauges character by whether people drink. You're more likely to have his respect if you're a drinker. I assume he doesn't enjoy the company of people who don't, and he probably doesn't trust them. Of course he looks like hell a lot of the time, and he's already had a serious heart "episode". I guess I need to sign up for that in order to make sure I get more than the standard 3% increase and to stay off the "list" of people to lay off when lists like that need to be written up.
shadowplay Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Absolutely. I almost never drink -- I probably have less than three glasses of wine total in a year. I simply don't like the taste of alcohol, nor do I understand the appeal in getting drunk. I would be bothered by somebody who felt the need to drink often. Even one beer a day would be a yellow flag to me, because that can easily turn into an addiction.
SunRays20 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Absolutely. But, for the interest of full disclosure, I am not much a drinker myself, only a drink or two or three socially. I think drinking moderately to not drinking at all is fine. But, definately not drunks or smokers. I don't like that smell, but some do.
WineCountry Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 My boss gauges character by whether people drink. You're more likely to have his respect if you're a drinker. I assume he doesn't enjoy the company of people who don't, and he probably doesn't trust them. Of course he looks like hell a lot of the time, and he's already had a serious heart "episode". I guess I need to sign up for that in order to make sure I get more than the standard 3% increase and to stay off the "list" of people to lay off when lists like that need to be written up. Now isnt that some sh*t? That just boggles my mind right there. Imagine someone judging your character as LESS because you DONT drink. And having their RESPECT and trust if you DO drink. Wow. I mean, like I said, I dont care if people drink. But, do we have a problem America, if people think LESS of you if you DONT drink?? I mean it's not the problem of the century, but something just ain't right with that, I'm sorry.
alphamale Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Would you date someone knowing they don't drink? no, women who don't drink tend to be boring control freaks
johan Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Whether a girl drinks or not isn't a big deal to me. I'd prefer to know she can be fun and interesting while she's sober. I wouldn't date a girl who only gets occasional, sporadic internet access at home though. THAT's the sure sign of someone who is going to bring a lot of "issues" to the relationship.
frustrated&sad Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Man you are damned if you do, damned if you dont. If you are a raging drunk, people dont want to date you. If you are an ex raging drunk, who has gotten sober and turned your life around, people dont want to date you because they think you will always fall off the wagon and have tons of baggage. Now, it seems if you DONT drink some people dont want to date you either! WTF?? Im basically a non drinker. I drink about two times a year, and that is only on certain occasions. I just dont care that much for booze. I cant tell you how many times I've been out, and people have been SHOCKED because I dont drink. They have almost wanted to pour booze down my throat. Now, I see some poster on here claim that if his date didn't drink, he would think she was a prude! Huh?? Simply not being a drinker makes you a prude?? Does alcohol control peoples lives THAT much that you call people prudes for not drinking? Wow. I don't snort cocaine either. Does that make me even MORE of a prude?? Do people even know how to have fun without drinking?? Is it even possible for some folks?? I have never, ever judged people who drink. I could care less. Yet, I get crap from friends because I DONT drink. Honestly, I have a grand ol' time WITHOUT alcohol in my life. And let me say it again..I could care LESS if others drink. Most people I know drink. As long as the non drinker doesn't care about you drinking, then you shouldn't care about whether or not THEY drink. To each his own is how I see it. I so feel this right now. I rarely if ever drink. Yet I have fun all the time! But people immediately think I am not relaxed or that I am high strung simply because I don't want to drink. It's so bizarre. My ex was a big drinker who liked to get wasted when he went out with his friends. That would bother me because he would get pissed drunk and sick and sloppy. But did I care that he drank in general? not really. But seriously--non drinkers are just as fun, if not more! Plus, cheap dates. I've also heard recently that relationships that involve people who don't drink or who drink very little have a higher survival rate. Thought that was interesting....
frustrated&sad Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 no, women who don't drink tend to be boring control freaks So not true! At least not always! I am definitely not boring. In fact, I have more energy by not drinking. This comment seems a little too generalizing to me. No offense.
alphamale Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 But seriously--non drinkers are just as fun, if not more! ... thats a bunch of baloney
frustrated&sad Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 thats a bunch of baloney You must hang out with some really boring women! I mean no disrespect, but I really do mean it when I say that a lot of non-drinkers, male or female, are super fun. I find that they tend to be more creative. Rather than just bars, they always think of interesting outings. You should try it!
Recommended Posts