tojaz Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Maybe 'frustrating' was an understatement!!!! Just didn't want to bag out someone else's husband too much. Mine is no better!!! ha ha, Who has the worst husband? Hey, I just laughed out loud...... According to my wife, she did!
Author trippi1432 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 According to my wife, she did! You know what, opinions are like A**holes....everybody has one. Your wife is like my husband....didn't appreciate what they had and didn't want to do anything to work on it. We are much better off without the headache and the heartache.
Author trippi1432 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 NO I think mine said she did.... ALRIGHT LOOK HERE!! I TAKE FIRST PLACE FOR THE WORST HUSBAND EVER!!! NUFF SAID!! LOL!
Author trippi1432 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 God wants her to know... ... that humans learn only by trial and error, and that includes you. You've got to live life, not think about it. Step into the midst of things, try and fail... and learn and stand up again. The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will. The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck? Take that step you've been avoiding. You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn't work, but in either case you are sure to feel alive. This Facebook app is just getting scary!!!!
tojaz Posted October 12, 2009 Posted October 12, 2009 Oh, you haven't read my threads, I am obviously the worst husband ever.!!
Author trippi1432 Posted October 12, 2009 Author Posted October 12, 2009 Oh, you haven't read my threads, I am obviously the worst husband ever.!! Oh yeah, I've read your threads.....you devil you...right? Would you let the door slam in the face of your wife while she is carrying a baby in a baby carrier and a full diaper bag....on more than one occasion?
tojaz Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 I don't think so, but I was told i imprisoned my wife in a relationship she didn't want for 13 years! Thats a bad dude!!!
Author trippi1432 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 I don't think so, but I was told i imprisoned my wife in a relationship she didn't want for 13 years! Thats a bad dude!!! Ummm, I think that is her problem. I was ticked at my husband for wasting 15 years of my life, even though he stated he didn't see it as a waste.....I was building our life towards the future...he just didn't tell me when he walked down the aisle that he didn't see himself a part of that future.
tojaz Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 No, I'm not talking shes sorry she got involved with me, I'm talking I brainwashed and manipulated her into being with me although she never had any feelings or attraction for me! Were talking cult stuff!
Author trippi1432 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 No, I'm not talking shes sorry she got involved with me, I'm talking I brainwashed and manipulated her into being with me although she never had any feelings or attraction for me! Were talking cult stuff! Ok, that's just whacked!! There were times when I literally hated my husband before we were married, times when I didn't know why I was still with him...was it fear of being alone, having to raise two kids by myself...don't know. One minute I loved him, the next I couldn't stand him.....I think every marriage is like that. BUT! Having said that, I KNEW when I walked down the aisle after the 12 years we put each other thru, I wanted him in my life for the rest of it. I just didn't realize that the rest of my life would only last for 3 years.
tojaz Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Ok, that's just whacked!! :bunny: Yeah, I win!!:bunny: Wait, that sux, Damn! There were times when I literally hated my husband before we were married, times when I didn't know why I was still with him...was it fear of being alone, having to raise two kids by myself...don't know. One minute I loved him, the next I couldn't stand him.....I think every marriage is like that. BUT! Having said that, I KNEW when I walked down the aisle after the 12 years we put each other thru, I wanted him in my life for the rest of it. I just didn't realize that the rest of my life would only last for 3 years. I know what you mean, I was scared to death to propose, wanted to marry her after the first year together, bought the ring 2 years later but waited 8 years after I bought the ring! Just to be sure, because I was only going to do it once, I was so scared of hurting her the way she hurt me, I waited that long! I was damn sure she was what I wanted when I gave it to her, 2 years later, I wasn't what she wanted, and apparently never had been. TOJAZ
Author trippi1432 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 :bunny: Yeah, I win!!:bunny: Wait, that sux, Damn! I know what you mean, I was scared to death to propose, wanted to marry her after the first year together, bought the ring 2 years later but waited 8 years after I bought the ring! Just to be sure, because I was only going to do it once, I was so scared of hurting her the way she hurt me, I waited that long! I was damn sure she was what I wanted when I gave it to her, 2 years later, I wasn't what she wanted, and apparently never had been. TOJAZ Mine gave me the ring in the first year....I held back on marrying him for 11 more years because it just seemed like all he did was hurt me....like he told me when he left, I should have left him a long time ago, it's not like he held a gun to my head. He changed for the better for that brief period where I thought we were on the right track....then like the evil twin that becomes Satan's Spawn he changed again over the past year and half. At any rate, it's water under the bridge...and there's nothing I can do to change him, only get on with my life.
tojaz Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Thats true, if he's satisfied with what he's turned into, then your better off. Dosen't help the hurt any, but it's the healthy thing to do. TOJAZ
Author trippi1432 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Here's something interesting, recalling that someone once mentioned here that I may have lost my identity in the relationship....took a quiz and it had this on Interdependence: Interdependence Interdependence refers to how much you need dependency or a “couple identity” with your partner. You are highly interdependent in relationships. This means that you desire – and perhaps even demand – a substantial degree of physical and emotional connection with a partner and other loved ones. Those connections and interactions can be frequent and superficial or they can be deep and meaningful. And you are probably attracted quickly to someone who you can deeply respect and even emulate to a degree. In fact, it is typical for a person in this score range to consider how a particular romantic partner might reflect on his/her own family and friends. All of this does not mean that you do not need personal space now and then; nearly everyone values being unique and different from others in some respects. However, people in this range draw considerable strength, comfort and sense of identity from close relationships. You like to know about virtually all aspects of your partner’s life. Thus, when you feel close to someone this person becomes an extremely important part of who you are on the inside and outside. You probably prefer that you and your partner’s recreational activities be shared together since you like having your partner physically close and desire showing off your “couplehood” in public. Bottom line: you need someone who responds to the fact that you enjoy the reassurance of physical contact and emotional sharing, but who helps keeps dependency in check in the relationship so that you two do not lose your identities as individuals and whose character is deserving of your loyalty and affection. Interesting
Author trippi1432 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Ah, now I know why I would get angry over playing "Mom" to H's drinking..... Self-efficacy Self-Efficacy refers to your self-image, stability of mood and level of motivation. You have good levels of self-esteem, sense of self and a sense of accomplishment. It seems you are acutely aware – but accepting – of your strengths and weaknesses. Likewise, you likely feel that people who are important in your life understand you. But people in your scoring range tend to be comfortable not giving in to peer, family and other social pressures. Family is indeed important to you, but their expectations do not strongly influence your life. Instead, people who score like you tend to have their own well-defined ambitions and goals – and may even set specific benchmarks to monitor the progress made toward achievements. You probably have a strong sense of control over your life and are decisive in managing it. You are also probably very influential and persuasive with others. In fact, your family, friends and acquaintances may often come to you for ideas of guidance across a range of issues. Bottom line: you need a partner who has a good degree of energy, enthusiasm and self-efficacy like you, as opposed to a partner who needs constant nurturance and reassurance to feel empowered and valued as person.
PWSX3 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Bottom line: you need a partner who has a good degree of energy, enthusiasm and self-efficacy like you, as opposed to a partner who needs constant nurturance and reassurance to feel empowered and valued as person. And enjoys SEX!!!!! Is that anywhere in your description? :laugh:
Author trippi1432 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 And enjoys SEX!!!!! Is that anywhere in your description? :laugh: LMAO!! That was a separate section....not posting that one here.!!! :bunny::bunny:
tojaz Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 SEX???? Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that. LOL......life sux
PWSX3 Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 SEX???? Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that. LOL......life sux Oh it's good, real good!!!!:laugh: Is it o.k. to say; my G/F does circles around what the former wife could do in this department!!!!!!
Author trippi1432 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 SEX???? Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that. LOL......life sux Oh it's good, real good!!!!:laugh: Is it o.k. to say; my G/F does circles around what the former wife could do in this department!!!!!! Hey! Are you guys hi-jacking my thread for Sex talk??? Watch it, I'll have to send you two over to Broke Back's house (ex).
tojaz Posted October 13, 2009 Posted October 13, 2009 Oh it's good, real good!!!!:laugh: Is it o.k. to say; my G/F does circles around what the former wife could do in this department!!!!!! Sure.... rub it in for those of us sleeping alone!!!!!:mad: Hey! Are you guys hi-jacking my thread for Sex talk??? Watch it, I'll have to send you two over to Broke Back's house (ex). Not quite that desperate Trippi!!
Author trippi1432 Posted October 13, 2009 Author Posted October 13, 2009 Ok, so how many times does the leaver need to convince you it is over...especially when you don't care that it is over? My H decided that he needed to discuss a few things with me today after work and was at the house when I got home, outside of course because he can't bring himself to come into the house we once shared. First discussion point, he will not be paying any more child support until we have a court order because he read on the Internet that he does not get "credit" for it as CS, it is considered a "gift". So he has decided that he will "gift" his kid some money but not give anything to me to help with the child. Second discussion point, he will not be bringing any women around our son and I am to do the same with anyone I date...agreed; however, he did make it a point to let me know that he has a lunch partner that he does not work with and he is very compatible with her and is enjoying the relationship. Like I care? Wonder if he informed her that he was hitting me up for booty call 2 weeks ago...LOL!! Third and consequent discussion points is that he knows what he did wrong in this relationship and will be sure not to do those in future relationships, knows he hurt me, we hurt each other but the resentment of all of that is why we can no longer be together. I need to move on with my life because he already has.....ummmm, thanks for the permission, but I have been spending the past couple of weeks doing that already mentally making new goals for myself. My goals no longer include him in my life. Honestly, I wish he would just drop off the face of the earth because it sounds like he is convincing himself that it's over more than me. I really don't feel anything for him, I feel for our son, his confusion and his fear and I hate that I wasted a lot of time with the wrong man when I could have been with the right one. I thought that I saw something in him that was genuine and caring, but his complaints about our relationship are the most childish complaints I have heard. Like he said, I can call him a "walk-away-joe" (his words) all I want....but I wasn't the one who left....and I wouldn't have left him after running up all of his credit and got PO'd that the money was no longer freely flowing. It just doesn't work when only one person is working on the relationship. Eventually, that person gives up and I guess I did. Son will no longer have overnight visitations with him until the orders are signed next week and filed later this month. In the meantime, I'm going to keep on being who I am, work on new goals that work for me and love my son everyday unconditionally. I'm not even angry, did good not to cry and I see no point in getting depressed. I hope he finds what he's looking for....I truly believe in Karma. I had a first ex who didn't care and was unfaithful, I had a second ex who only loved conditionally....I wonder what Karma has in store for me next time.
tojaz Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 You did good Trippi. Sounds to me, that hes baiting you, looking to push your buttons. Nothing there that required him being there in person and no reason to bring up his "lunch partner"! I think the leavers get a bit of a rise out of the pain they cause, knowing they can illicit such strong emotions, and they do what ever they can to keep that feeling going. They rub a little salt in the wound here and throw a jab there to keep things going. You didn't take the bait though, sounds like you kept your cool and just let it roll, best thing you could of done. Plus it's going to drive him nuts!!! TOJAZ
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