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I got that 2nd chance, but should I take it?


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Posted

For those of you interested, the background of my story is here (long): http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2157908#post2157908

 

After that post, we had one argument, and I felt that he was rather rude to me. So I told him that I didn't want any more contact. Then I cut him off. That was 2 1/2 months ago.

 

My ex showed up at my door this weekend and said he wanted to work things out. I was stunned. I still love him, but should I try again? He really gutted me when he left, and he doesn't seem to get it. How do I know he's not going to drop me again? He seems sincere though, and asked me what I want him to do to make things right. But shouldn't he know? Why didn't he spend time figuring things out? Am I being too unreasonable expecting him to know?

 

And can you really rebuild the trust? There was no cheating involved in our case, but walking abruptly out of a relationship severely damaged the trust I had.

 

I guess getting that second chance isn't exactly the happy ending I thought it would be.

Posted

It doesnt seem like he really knows what he put you through. If you really do love him and want to make it work you need to tell him how you feel and how the break up was on your side. You cant really expect him to know how badly he hurt you if you have never told him.

Posted

Yes yes and yes. What I mean is Trust can be rebuilt...ESPECIALLY if cheating wasnt involved. Most of those areguments happen because of someones own insecurities. When people tell you that you can never trust anyone again thats not true, or that people cant change. Change happens everyday all around us. If you feel like you want to get back into it dont hesitate...do it. If not, walk away.

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Posted

Hi,

 

Thank you for your replies. I do have strong feelings for him, but to move on, I've been telling myself for the last 8 months that this man does not care about me. It's this reminder that stopped me from contacting him. It's not easy to change that thinking overnight.

 

We're meeting up later this week to talk. I don't know what to say. I want to tell him how much he's hurt me, and I need some kind of apology for the way he treated me. But I wonder if he'd just walk away because it's too much trouble---I think he'd rather not revisit all the negative history, but I don't see how we can go forward without clearing the air. I guess if he does walk away, then he's not worth it. Ugh. I go back and forth about what to do, and it's driving me crazy.

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