The Pick Up Artist

[Island Girl]

Oh Ariadne. And why pray tell is it me you are singling out? :rolleyes:

 

This is an open board. I post what I want when I want just like everybody else.

Sometimes it is a thought sparked by another poster - sometimes it is a comment back to a remark made to me. Ahem. Just like everybody else.

 

I call it like I see it and have experienced it.

Feel free to disagree.

[Taramere]

OMG!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!

 

Taramere WHERE are you finding this gold!!!

 

Google images "mystery pua"

 

I literally have tears rolling down my face reading this.

 

I thought it was about time we had a thread about this. I feel as though we're forever reading the pick-up analysis from the male perspective. Being told what's going through our heads as it happens, what we feel, what we want.

 

As soon as I saw that picture, I had a good feeling about it. I thought it would be the perfect mate for a thread like this. It's the way pretty much ever guy in the group is looking at the camera - gives the viewer of the pic a real sense of the team heading their way.

 

I think it's time to add in

to add to the atmosphere.

[Island Girl]

I thought it was about time we had a thread about this. I feel as though we're forever reading the pick-up analysis from the male perspective. Being told what's going through our heads as it happens, what we feel, what we want.

 

It has been here a lot lately hasn't it? Posters suggesting that others go to PUA tactics to solve all of their issues.

 

Or telling the women here that we have no idea what we're talking about when some of us disagree with the PAU material.

 

VERY FUN THREAD. :bunny:

[donnamaybe]

It has been here a lot lately hasn't it? Posters suggesting that others go to PUA tactics to solve all of their issues.

 

Or telling the women here that we have no idea what we're talking about when some of us disagree with the PAU material.

 

VERY FUN THREAD. :bunny:

 

I know! Some of these pathetic guys who feel life's greatest achievement is getting in the pants of some bubbleheaded gal.

[Woggle]

I don't try to tell women what they feel but their actions speak for themselves. From what I observe player tactics work like a charm on most women. Players pretty much understand women more than anybody else and they use that to their advantage.

[Island Girl]

I don't try to tell women what they feel but their actions speak for themselves. From what I observe player tactics work like a charm on most women.

 

Yeah. A lot of them. Isn't that sad!! Yuck.

 

Players pretty much understand women more than anybody else and they use that to their advantage.

 

Well, yeah, real Players can even pull a larger selection of women.

Until they meet a woman they really care about Wogs.

But even then - the Player is not going to be one of those men you talk about. What do you call them? Lap dogs who have handed their "jewels" to a shrew?

 

Player tactics are different than PUA tactics aren't they?

[Epsilon]

Some funny things I find is that as much as girls may say "Ewww, what creepy, under-handed strategy! That'd never work on me!", I always turn around to see them swooning over guys who use just those strategies in the right way.

 

Actions speak louder than words -- all I can say. I can't count the number of times I've seen women fall for these things.

[Trialbyfire]

For instance, the pattern of Mystery's speech and how fast he tends to talk indicate he grew up insecure and feeling inadequate.

He speaks as if he has to "prove" something in everything he says which indicates he has manufactured confidence and is NOT confident in all situations.

He is confident in his arena only - hence him having to use the 3 second rule and if it doesn't work he must move on.

He can't chat up ANY girl. If she gives him a response he can't overcome then he moves on immediately. He is looking for a select type of girl that his crap works on.

Yes, there's a frenetic energy around Mystery and his cohorts/wingmen, that gives me hives. Real energy and confidence can't be duplicated. These guys remind me of cocaine addicts, really twitchy and kind of "off", in their patterns of speech and body language.

 

Anyone watch these guys? Go to youtube and type in "mystery pua" and watch their clips. 90% of these guys have the same kind of high-pitched voice and twitchiness.

[Island Girl]

Some funny things I find is that as much as girls may say "Ewww, what creepy, under-handed strategy! That'd never work on me!", I always turn around to see them swooning over guys who use just those strategies in the right way.

 

The ones I see swooning are clueless and couldn't tell you the meaning of the word strategy let alone use it in a sentence. :bunny:

[Taramere]

Some funny things I find is that as much as girls may say "Ewww, what creepy, under-handed strategy! That'd never work on me!", I always turn around to see them swooning over guys who use just those strategies in the right way.

 

It's a lie. Everyone knows that the way to a woman's heart is to flirt in a clumsy, laboured and unnatural manner that's embarrassing for everyone involved.

[Epsilon]

It's a lie. Everyone knows that the way to a woman's heart is to flirt in a clumsy, laboured and unnatural manner that's embarrassing for everyone involved.

 

Maybe those that don't know what they're doing. You have bad PUA's and you also have good ones. Nobody's going to argue that "unnatural" is the way to play it unless they want to hit on less intelligent women.

[Island Girl]

I know! Some of these pathetic guys who feel life's greatest achievement is getting in the pants of some bubbleheaded gal.

 

I think the quest is lots of them.

 

But you know it isn't surprising they don't develop into relationships. These guys are not gems but they have a brain (I think ). What would they talk to these girls about after the deed is done?

 

Yes, there's a frenetic energy around Mystery and his cohorts/wingmen, that gives me hives. Real energy and confidence can't be duplicated. These guys remind me of cocaine addicts, really twitchy and kind of "off", in their patterns of speech and body language.

 

Anyone watch these guys? Go to youtube and type in "mystery pua" and watch their clips. 90% of these guys have the same kind of high-pitched voice and twitchiness.

 

I knew I wasn't the only one who could pick up on it.

 

Haven't you seen these guys in everyday life TBF - who have that "off" thing going on?

 

Not surprising a lot of them have found PUA seminars, etc. But there is no getting away from that.

[Stockalone]

Anyone watch these guys? Go to youtube and type in "mystery pua" and watch their clips. 90% of these guys have the same kind of high-pitched voice and twitchiness.

 

I hadn't before but watched some of it now because of this thread. Good Lord.

 

That being said, it's not entirely useless advice. You just have to ignore what you don't like and keep what you feel can be useful. And to be honest, that whole thing is like a marketing lecture. I think most marketing strategies are a bunch of cr*p, but a lot of them actually work.

 

 

These practices won't help you get a relationship and none of these guys even claim that to be true.

They prey on those guys who stare at T&A posters on the wall dreaming of having sex with those girls - who watch porn and wish they were that guy having sex with those girls - who watched the athletes in high school have girlfriends and thought "he is probably having sex with her".

 

These aren't the guys who even think a bit further about happiness or a fulfilling relationship.

They have never even had real conversations with women. They choke and stutter when facing that possibility.

Sex with lots of girls they think are hot. That the entire spectrum of the thought process.

 

Assuming that this is the main clientele for PUA, then that is because these men have simply no idea how to talk to women. Not all men are naturals when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. In fact, I think that only a very small percentage of men are naturals. The rest will eventually learn (if they are lucky enough to get enough chances to talk to women) how to do it. And some will men never develop this skill.

 

I am with grogster on this:

"Looks, personality and natural charisma--you either have it or you don't."

 

As you said, embracing who you are is always good. The thing is, being yourself might very well mean that you have no success with the opposite sex. Let's face it, personality alone is not enough. So, for the uncharismatic or not so good looking guys, for guys who don't have an outgoing personality or those who simply suck when it comes to the opposite sex, the PUA idea does have some appeal.

 

Even guys who don't have the necessary skills women react positively to, they still see the naturals get GF's, they see that the players get women into bed. But they can't figure out for the life of them how they (the naturals and the players) do it. Even rudimentary understanding doesn't always come easy, at least that was my experience.

 

And naturals and players are usually not the kind to give viable advice. The natural just says I do what I do and it works. Just do what I do. Unfortunately, you can't do the exact same things if you aren't a natural.

 

And the players seem to be unwilling to share knowledge. Especially if the guy in question would want to use useful tips in an honest way, not to deceive and manipulate like a player. Why would the players teach their competition to become a good men and making him a better choice for women then they themselves are?

 

Enter the PUA. They basically offer these men a "Interacting with women for dummies and/or losers" guide. How often do we tell people that if what they are doing now isn't working for them, they should try something else?

 

The prospect of getting laid at least some of the time, sounds a lot better then not getting laid at all. And if you can't get laid, you don't have to worry about having a fulfilling relationship because it's not going to happen anyway.

 

Now, if the guy's goal in life is to bed as many women as possible, the PUA could provide him with the means to do just that.

 

And for other guys, who are looking for a relationship, it can only be a good thing to start and talk to women. No matter how stupid and/or pathetic it makes them look. And having some success along the way is a great motivator to keep trying. If, and that is a HUGE if, those men learn something about women and proceed from merely selling some pop psychology to actually presenting themselves as who they are (having learned to emphasise their best traits), they might actually benefit from it.

 

If they get stuck in the PUA mode and sort of "worship" something that doesn't give a damn about the women they interact with, then that is sad. I think a lot about the PUA depends on your intentions, of why you employ those tactics. Is it a stepping stone, something to help you evolve as a person or if it is the end of the ladder, the ultimate purpose of your existence?

 

There are lots of things not to like about the whole PUA stuff, especially some of it's advocates, but I am not at all surprised that the PUA ideas exist.

Most women want men who know what they do, who have true confidence in themselves. That confidence and knowing what to do and when to do it has to come from somewhere, and most women don't like to be the GF and the nanny who has to teach their guy. PUA stuff can be one way to achieve that confidence, even though it isn't the ideal way. I think it should only be considered as a last resort. And I certainly wouldn't pay money for it.

[Island Girl]

I agree Stockalone. That was a great post.

 

I especially agree with the differentiation between the "natural" and the "player".

I have never heard that and it is SOOO true.

[Epsilon]

That is what I was trying to say, albeit you did so more eloquently.

 

Some of the psychology behind PUA makes sense, but you should try to understand that psychology and better your self-confidence, as opposed to relying on canned techniques and creepy approach tactics.

[Island Girl]

That is what I was trying to say, albeit you did so more eloquently.

 

Some of the psychology behind PUA makes sense, but you should try to understand that psychology and better your self-confidence, as opposed to relying on canned techniques and creepy approach tactics.

 

Exactly.

 

The real problem with all of the info is that these guys just regurgitate it and never work on themselves or explore that aspect.

[Trialbyfire]

I don't disagree Stock. But most of the psychology referenced, will kill any chance these guys have with a decent woman. There are no elements of like, trust and respect, which of course, creates distrust and distaste.

 

I know that when men attempt to "neg" or "punish" me, it doesn't challenge me to do "better". If anything, it's an instant turn-off.

[nittygritty]

Perhaps Mystery came up with his "PUA" technique seminars so that he could pick up guys.

[sally4sara]

The only thing sadder than a guy who is unsure of himself around women, is a guy who is unsure of himself AND the rude advise he bought from scam artists.

I see nothing wrong with a big brother or older friend taking little bro out and showing him some rules of engagement. I went through a stage in my teens where I had some contempt for my own gender and most of my friends were guys. I remember watching the low man on the totem go through the ringer.

First he is scared to even try. Then he tries and fails horribly; spends some time being too scared to try again. Then everyone finally feels bad enough for the guy that we stop using him for entertainment and starts pointing out what he can't see yet. Like the shy girl who stares at him but is also too scared to approach him. You point her out and SUCCESS! He gets laid! After that it is just repetition till he does it without thinking or manages to keep a lady around for something serious. Most guys, that is all that is in their way. Once they lose their virginity, most of the pressure is off and they can relax enough to manage just fine.

 

But these scammers that tell a guy like that to eat at a woman's self esteem? That is horrible! And then guys wonder why women get rude in the dating scene...

If you even remotely seem like this is what you're about, you deserve every rude brush off that comes your way. I can't imagine success with women by this approach really boosts a guy's ego half as well as the kind of interaction that doesn't include the woman regretting ever meeting the guy!

Real success involves her remembering you fondly even when things don't work out in the long run.

[sally4sara]

I don't disagree Stock. But most of the psychology referenced, will kill any chance these guys have with a decent woman. There are no elements of like, trust and respect, which of course, creates distrust and distaste.

 

I know that when men attempt to "neg" or "punish" me, it doesn't challenge me to do "better". If anything, it's an instant turn-off.

 

Exactly! Who has so much time to waste on people like that?

[Trialbyfire]

Exactly! Who has so much time to waste on people like that?

Why waste time on men who do this, when there are "naturals" who like themselves and also, like you. This comes through clearly in both their words and actions.

 

Do you guys know what works but isn't guaranteed, if there's the element of physical repulsion?

1. Flirt in a positive manner.
   
2. Like yourself and women, and you'll exude that like, to carry a woman along with your positive energy.
   
3. Throw in a few compliments but don't overdo it.
   

It's not a battleground between genders. That kind of attitude and approach will get you what you deserve, recurring loserhood.

[Pyro]

Why waste time on men who do this, when there are "naturals" who like themselves and also, like you. This comes through clearly in both their words and actions.

 

Do you guys know what works but isn't guaranteed, if there's the element of physical repulsion?

1. Flirt in a positive manner.
   
2. Like yourself and women, and you'll exude that like, to carry a woman along with your positive energy.
   
3. Throw in a few compliments but don't overdo it.
   

It's not a battleground between genders. That kind of attitude and approach will get you what you deserve, recurring loserhood.

 

So true. Being yourself goes a long ways. I can vouch for that.

[Epsilon]

But what about guys like me?

 

I mean, I'm fairly awkward when I am first meeting people. I don't try to use "PUA tactics" or anything because I find much of it fake. I am confident in who I am as a person (I am very content with my mind, personality, interests, etc), but I am not content physically, I suppose. I have a hard time looking people in the eye when I first meet them, and I'm extremely shy. However, once I'm in the door, things go smoothly from there and my awkwardness starts to lessen.

 

Like, I'm not a sleazeball or anything -- I'd consider myself a pretty down-to-earth kinda guy, but I am just horribly bad at introducing myself to women and getting comfortable.

 

Where do you go when PUA is too retardedly fake to consider, but the natural ability to be comfortable around new people is not there?

[donnamaybe]

recurring loserhood.

 

 

LMFAO!!!!

 

Can I use that?

[Pyro]

But what about guys like me?

 

I mean, I'm fairly awkward when I am first meeting people. I don't try to use "PUA tactics" or anything because I find much of it fake. I am confident in who I am as a person (I am very content with my mind, personality, interests, etc), but I am not content physically, I suppose. I have a hard time looking people in the eye when I first meet them, and I'm extremely shy. However, once I'm in the door, things go smoothly from there and my awkwardness starts to lessen.

 

Like, I'm not a sleazeball or anything -- I'd consider myself a pretty down-to-earth kinda guy, but I am just horribly bad at introducing myself to women and getting comfortable.

 

Where do you go when PUA is too retardedly fake to consider, but the natural ability to be comfortable around new people is not there?

 

Partys where you can meet friends of friends, IMO.

 

That first impression though can be a big factor in someone deciding if they are interested in you. Work on that confidence. Eye contact is key for starters.