Who Do Men Treat Better?

[Jersey Shortie]

Do I? Says who? You have "history" with heaps of posters if thats the case...

 

I thought I just responded to a few (less than 5 hardly constitutes a "history") of your threads with my opinions.

As one tends to do on a public forum.

 

Main problem is, my opinions happen to be very different to yours.

 

It's not a matter of your opinions being different. It's the shots you feel the need to take when I post. You don't just share your opinion. You manage to incorporate me into them. Which truely, I am honored but there is no need to let your posts focus around me. Go forth and post.

[sb129]

Oh for pitys.......:rolleyes:

 

Whatever you say JS.

You are pretty good at reading the absolutely worst possible aspect of any scenario, I'll give you that.

 

Have fun with that.

[Thaddeus]

Pay no heed to JS, she's just a troll.

[Els]

I see something ironic about this, actually.

 

When newtoloveshac (the REAL troll, in my opinion. JS must be an extremely dedicated troll, if she is one, due to the hundreds of posts unrelated to gender topics that she has also produced) posts something, many men flock there to agree with him. Not all, certainly, but many.

 

Yet in JS' case even most of the women seem to have the sense to refute her and try to point her in the right direction.

 

Does that mean that the women here, for the most part, are more sensible and less gender-loyalty drive?

[grogster]

Pay no heed to JS, she's just a troll.

 

 

JS is not a troll. She simply stays on message regardless of the facts.

[Thaddeus]

JS is not a troll. She simply stays on message regardless of the facts.

I KNEW she reminded me of George Bush!

[c-riouz]

JS is a good-hearted, intelligent person with many truths in her posts.

[Taramere]

JS is a good-hearted, intelligent person with many truths in her posts.

 

I think JS' posts are defensive against, rather than attacking of, men. She regards men as being hostile to women, and probably places an unfair burden on decent, well-intentioned men to prove otherwise. Much in the way that Woggle approaches the topic of women with a negative mindset and places the burden on individual women to show that they're "not like the majority". I also agree that she seems to be an essentially good-hearted person (as Woggle probably also is), but one whose thoughts and perceptions are overly governed by fear about hostility, aggression and poor treatment - real or imagined - from the opposite sex.

 

The Happy OW stereotype is closer to a male stereotype than the BS one. Look at Lizzie - who is (or portrays herself on this board as) someone who thinks and conducts her sexual relationships like a Lothario of a man. Taking the fun stuff (sex, romance) without having to deal with the more mundane aspects of managing a relationship. If you take the view that men often treat other men more respectfully than they treat women, then it would follow on that they're going to have more respect for a woman who conducts her relationships like a man than they will for the more traditional woman-who-believes-in-monogamy.

 

The latter, who values loyalty, is more likely to fall into victim role. The person who screws around has more power, because they're keeping their options open. They're investing less of themselves into the relationship.

But glamorous stereotypes of the OW aside, the reality for a lot of OW (if threads I've read on this board are anything to go by) is that they're often living a situation that has all the drama of a rollercoaster - but that is, in reality, a form of limbo, because they've invested all their emotion in someone who isn't available to them and very likely never will be.

 

The OW v BS battles that emerge every now and again are a bit of a distraction from that. Portrayals of the OW as sexier, more fun, more beautiful etc than the BS helps to keep them invested in a situation that's ultimately not serving them all that well - unless it's one of those situations where the marriage really is on the way out and continues to subsist only in a legal sense. No doubt many OW perceive their situation as falling into that category where the MM has misled them into perceiving it that way.

 

As neither a BS or an OW, I've got to ask why "who the MM treats better" really matters. Does so much of a woman's identity and self esteem rest upon how she's treated by a man whose actions demonstrate that he's fundamentally out for himself? I think discrepancies between the way a MM treats his wife and his mistress say nothing about the individual qualities of the women involved. They speak only of the MM's perception of what he needs to do and say in order to maintain his having-and-eating-cake situation.

[clv0116]

It's about letting another human being know where you stand so that they are missiled.

 

You assume I'd throw things at someone?

 

For any rational person "I'm not in an exclusive relationship right now" is completely honest. Now if one is looking to squeeze a commitment out of another I can see where such a forthright and simple declaration could take the wind out of ones sails. Indeed, that's why I like it.

 

Women who ask this seem to be fishing for the man to say "Nope, I'm not seeing anyone else", which can then be co-opted into a defacto declaration of exclusivity.

 

 

 

Get over yourself. I could care less if your relationship works or doesn't I actually hope it does. But you have a history about talking about women about what you can get/take from them instead of what you offer and give.

 

It's up to them to determine if I have what they want.

[Jersey Shortie]

I think JS' posts are defensive against, rather than attacking of, men. She regards men as being hostile to women, and probably places an unfair burden on decent, well-intentioned men to prove otherwise. Much in the way that Woggle approaches the topic of women with a negative mindset and places the burden on individual women to show that they're "not like the majority". I also agree that she seems to be an essentially good-hearted person (as Woggle probably also is), but one whose thoughts and perceptions are overly governed by fear about hostility, aggression and poor treatment - real or imagined - from the opposite sex.

 

Overall excellent post Taramere. And this part is especially true. You are right. I do regard men as being hostile to women and can agree that sometimes I might place an unfair burden. But I feel that I have to in the same of self preservation. Wish I had a different attitude and wish I had an easier time with men growing up and in my romantic interests but I often don't feel like men are very geninue beyond the sexual.

[clv0116]

.... I do regard men as being hostile to women and .... I often don't feel like men are very geninue beyond the sexual.

 

Maybe your attitude makes men hostile to you?

[Yamaha]

Recently there have been alot of male public figures in the lime light for cheating on their wives. (I personally find it discouraging because it just shows how many men that you thought were good men end up cheating on the one person that they are suppose to be there most for). My question is, do you think men treat their wives or their mistresses better? Because it seems to me that men treat their mistresses better then they do their own wives or committed respectable girlfriends.

 

They act this way because they are selfish and are only thinking of themselves.

[Cris21]

I think it depends on the guy. Some guys really do care alot about their wives and will do anything for them, yet there are others that will end up with a mistress that they think is better than their wife in looks, so they think in order to keep her they should spoil them and keep them happy. A guy could have a beautiful wife at home, that does everything for him. Some guys want to keep what they have, but have flings on the side. Some guys do not care. I have been with my significant other for almost 7 years. December will be our 7 year anniversary. I have never received a gift from him. Not for Christmas, My birthday, Our anniversary or any occasion, yet when it comes to anyone else, his family, friends, or anyone, he is buying gifts a month before their birthday. He was looking at a beautiful necklace one day when we went to town. He told me he wanted to buy a gift for his grandmother. I liked the idea. Then he changed that to he wanted to buy it for his cousins daughter whom he had just met for the first time and she was turning 15. Kind of upset me because of the fact that the necklace was expensive and gorgeous, and he had never even thought of me when looking at something like that. I would not want anything that expensive, but it is just the fact that it would have been nice to know that he could look at something like that and think of me instead of always thinking of others for a change. Some guys are strange like that. I like to buy him gifts when I can afford them. Especially my favorite cologne that me and him both love. I would be happy with a card. It is the thought that matters. I guess there is a difference between gifts and gifts that mean something. A simple card to the wife could mean more to a man than tons of gifts he has bought for his mistress. I could still understand the point of the wife being upset about something like that though.

[Jersey Shortie]

Then he changed that to he wanted to buy it for his cousins daughter whom he had just met for the first time and she was turning 15. Kind of upset me because of the fact that the necklace was expensive and gorgeous, and he had never even thought of me when looking at something like that.

 

Holy crap you got more issues then him just not buying you things. He want's to by an overly expensive neckless for his cousin's 15 year old daughter???????? Get out of that relationships STAT.