Author MrMayI Posted August 21, 2009 Author Posted August 21, 2009 i'm proud of myself for staying on a pretty even keel, but i can't help wondering just WTF is in her head. if, rather, when i win in court she is literally costing herself about 800% of what it would cost just to sign the damn papers in the first place. all of our, i guess, mutual friends are wanting me to give her time and let her figure out what she wants. **** that. apparently, she's sobbed to a couple of people that i gave her divorce papers. they did not know, however, that i have enough evidence to say she's had/having an affair.
tojaz Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 now that i've learned so much, i only have a few regrets. i regret not putting a keylogger on my computer. i regret not shaking the **** out of the suspected OM at the time. basically, i regret not doing all of the things i could've done to have turned things around, and put the wife's ass out before i got my heart broken. i feel pretty strong. just sort of wish i had someone to take to the movies this weekend. Hind sight is 20/20 my friend, and even having done those things, would not have prevented the broken heart. I've been reading your stuff long enough, your a man who valued your marriage, regardless of what you could have/should have done, you would have fought for it just the same. Keep your chin up, Thats INTEGRITYbud, you kept yours while she traded it and her family for a selfish desire. Thats the MORAL HIGH GROUND I'm talking about. TOJAZ
tojaz Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 i'm proud of myself for staying on a pretty even keel, but i can't help wondering just WTF is in her head. if, rather, when i win in court she is literally costing herself about 800% of what it would cost just to sign the damn papers in the first place. all of our, i guess, mutual friends are wanting me to give her time and let her figure out what she wants. **** that. apparently, she's sobbed to a couple of people that i gave her divorce papers. they did not know, however, that i have enough evidence to say she's had/having an affair. Don't be afraid to tell them your side. I lost most of "our" friends because she started spinning he rweb long before she let me in on the joke. In the end I'm the only one she told it was all BS. WTF!!! TOJAZ
LisaUk Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 i'm proud of myself for staying on a pretty even keel, but i can't help wondering just WTF is in her head. if, rather, when i win in court she is literally costing herself about 800% of what it would cost just to sign the damn papers in the first place. all of our, i guess, mutual friends are wanting me to give her time and let her figure out what she wants. **** that. apparently, she's sobbed to a couple of people that i gave her divorce papers. they did not know, however, that i have enough evidence to say she's had/having an affair. As soon as you get through your divorce you can tell them all the thruth, focus on that to help get you through what you have to do. If they are true friends they won't abandon you anyway. You find out who you true friends are at a time like this, I certainly did!
Author MrMayI Posted August 24, 2009 Author Posted August 24, 2009 my sister was in town to visit this weekend. she lives about 400 miles away. sure, it's a small town, but she went out shopping with a friend on saturday. pulls into a parking space by where my wife works (retail), and there she is standing in the drivers door of OM's car and he's sitting in the seat. my sis says she is certain my wife pissed her panties a bit by the look on her face. i am now officially filed for divorce, with pending service. god, i hope this doesn't take long. i can't take too much more.
tojaz Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 my sister was in town to visit this weekend. she lives about 400 miles away. sure, it's a small town, but she went out shopping with a friend on saturday. pulls into a parking space by where my wife works (retail), and there she is standing in the drivers door of OM's car and he's sitting in the seat. my sis says she is certain my wife pissed her panties a bit by the look on her face. i am now officially filed for divorce, with pending service. god, i hope this doesn't take long. i can't take too much more. Quick warning from the other side of the Big D, it dosen't get any easier when the paprework is done. TOJAZ
Author MrMayI Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 Quick warning from the other side of the Big D, it dosen't get any easier when the paprework is done. TOJAZ oh, that i know. however, i am more disgusted by the fact that she doesn't have the audacity to tell me she's inolved with someone else. what a piece of ****. i know it's the whole cake eating thing she's doing. i'm sitting idly by, and allowing her to think that i know or believe nothing is going on, all the while getting ready to take the cake out from under her chubby little cheeks.
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 I wouldnt even sweat things anymore people will find out the truth, if they see through the BS themselves! good going mmi. now she cant lie when she was caught red handed.
Author MrMayI Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 the funny thing, is if anyone accused her of having an affair, she'd deny it to the grave. i mean, i guess someone's going to have to catch my wife with her legs in the air before she'll even believe it's an affair herself, lol. this is just all so exhausting.
phineas Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 the funny thing, is if anyone accused her of having an affair, she'd deny it to the grave. i mean, i guess someone's going to have to catch my wife with her legs in the air before she'll even believe it's an affair herself, lol. this is just all so exhausting. That was the same with mine. Swore for 2 1/2 yrs she never slept with anyone but me during our marriage. OM & his family said otherwise considering she spent the night at his house when I went camping. Even after OM told me he was sleeping with her NOW at the time all she could say was "he didn't tell me he told you we were sleeping together" she should have guilty tatooed on her forehead.
Author MrMayI Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 i love mapping out the days of the week with the stbx and her awkward work schedule. it's really funny that she always has weekend nights off, but never ask for our daughter to stay with her on weekends. meanwhile, i don't say a word, because my life was my daughter before she walked, and continues to be. i just love it (((sarcasm))). in other news, my tally now is she's been out for 65 days, and the kid's been with me for 42 of them. lots of her days were only after work into spending the night, and then right back to school or the sitter's.
Author MrMayI Posted August 25, 2009 Author Posted August 25, 2009 i meant i sarcastically love making a schedule with her dumb ass. i truly do love every second with my precious little girl. i wish i could have her 100% of my free time. that would require mommy splitting town (that'd be great), or worse (i'm not saying anything).
Auroracoladybug Posted August 25, 2009 Posted August 25, 2009 You and me Mr...I can't believe that J didn't want to take his son because he had a raid...then alternating with threats that the courts will force me to give him so many overnights a year...like everyone has told me document, document, and document...I have been thinking about asking for sole custody with visitation for J...I have done everything for my son...I want J to be in his life and yet I want to keep my son from him all at the same time...I am afraid that J will just disappear like his dad did to him and then my baby will blame me later on.
tojaz Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 the funny thing, is if anyone accused her of having an affair, she'd deny it to the grave. i mean, i guess someone's going to have to catch my wife with her legs in the air before she'll even believe it's an affair herself, lol. this is just all so exhausting. Shes never going to admit it, because you have to be the bad guy in this. Thats how she has to make it seem in order for her to walk. My wife denied it when i caught them at abar together......an hours drive from his place, and her work, where they both spend there days.....but a block away from her motel room!! To this day she denies it and probably always will. It's the only way she can live with herself. TOJAZ
delajoonal Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 mr....THEY will NEVER EVER admit IT..NEVER! hey, i have cell phone records...21 calls to OW and her to my H in ONE Flippin' day...H says, it not what i think. i found reservations to bed and breakfast inns... H says, its NOT LIKE THAT! when i first caught him online with OW... H said, she/OW is just a FRIEND. now 6 months later, they have taken great pain in hiding the A... and even with ALL the evidence i have... my H still says, i am crazy, there is nothing going on, she is just a friend, etc.... im sorry, i don't call MY friends EVERY SINGLE MORNING OF THE WORLD AT 830 AM on the DOT...to say what..hi friend...its me again...every day every freaking day at 830AM...LOL HELLO...that is what lovers ( i hate that word..LOL) do...that is what people who are in a R do.... ya...these fu**ERS will NEVER NEVER EVER admit to anything having do to with an A....never!
Auroracoladybug Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 dela I wish I had that much proof ...and seems he is still "friends" with the OW I will always be in the wrong even though I never said they had a PA just a EA... Mr my dad said to me that as long as you did the right thing to a person you can sleep better at night and hold your head high...we question wether we did the right thing (following 180, not following 180, Taking that walk, listening, speaking up, etc) but in the end even if we had done what they wanted most likely it wouldn't be enough...those of us who were/are willing to make changes are willing to work and are still committed, it is the one who doesn't continue to be willing to work with us that fail and lose out. I love the story about your sister running into the ex LOL...J lives in my hometown and he is just constantly building enemies by making me the bad guy...and yes he will have to defend himself for the rest of his life with his son (his choice not mine) because when my baby gets older and asks why all I will be able to say is "your father was not happy with me"
Author MrMayI Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 everyone is absolutely right. she'll never admit to it. i had someone call om's girlfriend yesterday on the sly, only to find out she is seeing someone else, and they broke up. he told her last week that he is seeing someone as well. churned my stomach. papers are officially filed. the road to the end started yesterday.
Author MrMayI Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 exposure has caused a whirlwind of sorts. everyone i know just about knows she walked out on not only me, but her child. whether she sees her often or not, she walked out on her. they also know exactly why she left, and that's to entertain the idea of greener pastures with another, younger man. everyone has been calling me, texting me, just trying to find out the how's and why's. i just don't have answers. i feel like the quicksand is pulling me back under again. i'm starting to feel a bit helpless right now.
lupa Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 exposure has caused a whirlwind of sorts. everyone i know just about knows she walked out on not only me, but her child. whether she sees her often or not, she walked out on her. they also know exactly why she left, and that's to entertain the idea of greener pastures with another, younger man. everyone has been calling me, texting me, just trying to find out the how's and why's. i just don't have answers. i feel like the quicksand is pulling me back under again. i'm starting to feel a bit helpless right now. Let me jump right in that hole with you, MayI, because I know the way out. Take a breath, and think of how beautiful and wonderful your daughter is, and how great your life is going to be, and really...how you have everything you need. Think about that, smile that we're here for you, and pick yourself up.
Auroracoladybug Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 If enough of us jump in this hole maybe we can make it a swimming pool! Mr...hang in there I am a lifeguard! And for every person who calls you or texts you about how and why...give them a brief and tell them ask her...that will make her feel real good... Lupa is right think of that beautiful daughter (if the W doesn't want to be a part of her life then her loss and your gain)...I know my son is my world right now (I still sink once in a while)
Author MrMayI Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 Let me jump right in that hole with you, MayI, because I know the way out. Take a breath, and think of how beautiful and wonderful your daughter is, and how great your life is going to be, and really...how you have everything you need. Think about that, smile that we're here for you, and pick yourself up. If enough of us jump in this hole maybe we can make it a swimming pool! Mr...hang in there I am a lifeguard! And for every person who calls you or texts you about how and why...give them a brief and tell them ask her...that will make her feel real good... Lupa is right think of that beautiful daughter (if the W doesn't want to be a part of her life then her loss and your gain)...I know my son is my world right now (I still sink once in a while) thank you very much. i just needed some reassurance. i actually met with my lawyer and the judge today. i think it's going to stay in my favor. i really hope so. she does have our daughter, by my calendar, about 27% of the time. it's just really getting old. i have told several people to just call her, because i have no answers. i'm going to come back out of the hole. it's not desparation, sadness or any of that anymore. i'm just blank, numb. edit: i notice my posts are a little more on the down side when i don't see my daughter for more than 24 hours.
lupa Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 edit: i notice my posts are a little more on the down side when i don't see my daughter for more than 24 hours. That makes me respect you so much. That is truly a wonderful thing to say... Hang in there, brother, hang in there.
Auroracoladybug Posted August 26, 2009 Posted August 26, 2009 I definitely feel that way when J has our son for the weekend... Mr I am glad to hear there is some progress and good light in your favor...wish I could help more and reassure you.
Author MrMayI Posted August 26, 2009 Author Posted August 26, 2009 any support makes me feel better. i'm now in a world where everyone around me is turning hostile towards the stbx, and i'm just stuck in the middle. i have to get myself out of the middle, but i do not want to choose a side. i just got off the phone with a good friend of mine who is now a preacher. he knows our difference in opinion, so we don't discuss his occupation. he told me that he did not want to tell me because it's not his place, but he has gotten nothing but strange feelings when he would see my wife at work, for at least a year. he even asked me if i thought it was ________, who is the OM. all i could think to say was "winner, winner. chicken dinner". he then asked me did i know that guy is a licensed youth minister and told me a church he works for.
seibert253 Posted August 27, 2009 Posted August 27, 2009 any support makes me feel better. i'm now in a world where everyone around me is turning hostile towards the stbx, and i'm just stuck in the middle. i have to get myself out of the middle, but i do not want to choose a side. i just got off the phone with a good friend of mine who is now a preacher. he knows our difference in opinion, so we don't discuss his occupation. he told me that he did not want to tell me because it's not his place, but he has gotten nothing but strange feelings when he would see my wife at work, for at least a year. he even asked me if i thought it was ________, who is the OM. all i could think to say was "winner, winner. chicken dinner". he then asked me did i know that guy is a licensed youth minister and told me a church he works for. I think the church's senior pastor and congregation would be very interested in knowing what their youth pastor has been engaged in.
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