Author MrMayI Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 this place has really turned it around for me.
tojaz Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 this place has really turned it around for me. Me too, I rave about it so much, my counsellor asked for the address. I didn't give her my screen name though, I wonder if she can pick me out. LOL TOJAZ
phineas Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I'm renovating my home. I bought it & gutted it & put it mostly back together before I met my wife. I don't need to move to get away from any memories. They were mostly crap anyways since she started having the affair I now realize. Just getting her stuff out & re-arranging the furniture was enough. I picked up a really nice living room set someone was getting rid of because of a redecoration for free. The wife came over to pick up the kids & noticed the new furniture. She mentioned it because she was wondering why the old furniture was at the curb. The look on her face was priceless. She looked very meek & almost sad. I personally enjoyed it. It's like every time I do something significant to improve my quality of life I'm giving her another reason to realize she screwed the pooch big time. It's a very satisfying form of revenge. I don't do it specifically to stick it to her though. I do it for my kids & because when I decide to have a woman over it can't hurt to live in a nice place.
LisaUk Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 That's right Phin, like I said get some ornaments, really impress any lady you have over! LOL No, just make sure it's clean, there's nothing worse to a women than a batcheler (sp) pad that's filthy! LOL I agree with Tojaz, LS has helped so much. LOL at your counsellor being able to pick you out! Lupa, I think of everyone and what they are doing to. I think I'll always wonder, even years from now how all of you are getting on.
Author MrMayI Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 i'm with you phineas. only i wanted an all new place. our new one is a bit smaller, but completely perfect. the wife came to pick up the kid last night and didn't come in but stood at the front door. i literally watched tears fill her eyes. she looked very stunned. that front room is looking damn good. i even had the fireplace filled with candles burning. she stood on my porch for several minutes after that. i got my daughter loaded up, kissed her bye, and then the wife reached out to hug me. i found it very unnerving since that hasn't happened in weeks. i said "oh. okay. why?" she hugged me like there was no tomorrow, and i just sort of patted her back lightly with one hand. when she left i realized that it's a small victory for my well-being because i don't give a **** about her like that anymore. okay. i do give a ****. just not that "longing" type give a ****.
LisaUk Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 i'm with you phineas. only i wanted an all new place. our new one is a bit smaller, but completely perfect. the wife came to pick up the kid last night and didn't come in but stood at the front door. i literally watched tears fill her eyes. she looked very stunned. that front room is looking damn good. i even had the fireplace filled with candles burning. she stood on my porch for several minutes after that. i got my daughter loaded up, kissed her bye, and then the wife reached out to hug me. i found it very unnerving since that hasn't happened in weeks. i said "oh. okay. why?" she hugged me like there was no tomorrow, and i just sort of patted her back lightly with one hand. when she left i realized that it's a small victory for my well-being because i don't give a **** about her like that anymore. okay. i do give a ****. just not that "longing" type give a ****. Oh P**, I was just gonna leave you a post before that edit! Was going to say how pleased I was to hear that and "sweet!" So now I'll say, a little bit sweet and you'll get there!
Author MrMayI Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Oh P**, I was just gonna leave you a post before that edit! Was going to say how pleased I was to hear that and "sweet!" So now I'll say, a little bit sweet and you'll get there! haha. well, i mean, i care for her well being. she's the mother of my child after all. however, if she wants to carry on with her stupidity and live in a fog, she can. i will not try and win her back in any way, shape, or form at this point.
phineas Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 And think about it, what would you really be winning?
LisaUk Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 haha. well, i mean, i care for her well being. she's the mother of my child after all. however, if she wants to carry on with her stupidity and live in a fog, she can. i will not try and win her back in any way, shape, or form at this point. :bunny::bunny: Good on you! So now I'll say "sweet", candles in the fireplace, her looking longingly in and tearing up, love it! She's starting to see what she threw away! (ohh, does that make me a bit mean spirited????)
phineas Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 mean spirited compared to what? A woman that pissed away her future,family,marriage & all credibility when it comes to commitment to chase after the bigger better deal?
Author MrMayI Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 And think about it, what would you really be winning? myself. i haven't been myself for months because of the torment i've put myself through due to this woman's actions. that's what. myself.
LisaUk Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 mean spirited compared to what? A woman that pissed away her future,family,marriage & all credibility when it comes to commitment to chase after the bigger better deal? Yes that was kind of what I was thinking when I said it, only I don't like taking pleasure in anyones pain if you see what I mean, got a bit conflicted there! Some of it my ex's conflicts must of rubbed off on me, unawares LOL.
hopesndreams Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I think she fully expected to be able to go into your new place, look around, touch stuff and still be part of your life, albeit a small part. Now, because she didn't step foot in, has realized that it won't be the way she wants it anymore. She will miss the friendship aspect and the few tears she conjured up has everything to do with her loss, not yours. She sees you as moving on and she might not like that very much. The loss of control she has in your life and what you do makes her sad. She may now be looking to find inventive ways to get through the front door and once she has succeeded in that, she will feel better. Keep her waiting on the porch. Yes, it irks her, tough, too bad, and if that puts a small smile on your face, all the better.
Author MrMayI Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 i have to say, i still have yet to see her without her wedding band on. maybe i'm foolish, but that speaks bounds to me. before anyone asks, she's been seen around several times when i'm not a presence, and even had it on then. i don't know why. maybe until it's completely done she'll wear it. i don't know. i've worn mine maybe three times in the past three months.
lupa Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It breaks my heart to think about the engagement ring I took so long to pick out. Then I think about how I blew my knee out coaching soccer, and before the first of what turned out to be 4 surgeries I was doing heavy rehab on it...she would get mad at me for doing so much. But what she didn't know is that my goal was to be able to bend it far enough that I could get down on one knee and propose. I bought the engagement ring like two days before I destroyed my knee, and I had to wait three weeks to actually be able to propose. I'm sorry...I just had to get that out when I read about her wedding band. It kills me to think that my wife said I'm selfish when I went so far as to rehab a destroyed joint that was going to be operated on anyway because I loved her. Sh*t.
delajoonal Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 ah lupa...that was incredible... it is making me think of when my H got on bended knee..seems like yesterday...his hands were shaking so bad..LOL... seems like yesterday, but yet so distant.... i don't know if this has anything to do with anything..but.. i lost my 10 year anniversary eternity band/ ring just a few months before caught my H in online EA...??? is that a karma thing or something??? p.s. i still where my wedding band, but put my engagement ring in the safe. just was too much to see everyday...recieving IT was an amazing day... but i still feel commited to my marriage and the vows i took in front of God. so until my H hands me the divorce decree..the band stays...who knows,... maybe the band will stay forever..it gives me hope and peace at times:( am i off subject here..LOL..sorry..one of those days..i am just lurking about on LS..LOL
Author MrMayI Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 ah lupa...that was incredible... it is making me think of when my H got on bended knee..seems like yesterday...his hands were shaking so bad..LOL... seems like yesterday, but yet so distant.... i don't know if this has anything to do with anything..but.. i lost my 10 year anniversary eternity band/ ring just a few months before caught my H in online EA...??? is that a karma thing or something??? p.s. i still where my wedding band, but put my engagement ring in the safe. just was too much to see everyday...recieving IT was an amazing day... but i still feel commited to my marriage and the vows i took in front of God. so until my H hands me the divorce decree..the band stays...who knows,... maybe the band will stay forever..it gives me hope and peace at times:( am i off subject here..LOL..sorry..one of those days..i am just lurking about on LS..LOL i don't think you're off subject at all. it makes me think though. is SHE honoring her vows until it's all said and done? i just don't get it. i'm doing all i can to honor my vows, but ladies are really starting to catch my eye haha. i just don't see the point in wearing my ring anymore. i got left. she's shown ZERO remorse for anything she's done. i'm teetering on the fine line between love and hate.
LisaUk Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It breaks my heart to think about the engagement ring I took so long to pick out. Then I think about how I blew my knee out coaching soccer, and before the first of what turned out to be 4 surgeries I was doing heavy rehab on it...she would get mad at me for doing so much. But what she didn't know is that my goal was to be able to bend it far enough that I could get down on one knee and propose. I bought the engagement ring like two days before I destroyed my knee, and I had to wait three weeks to actually be able to propose. I'm sorry...I just had to get that out when I read about her wedding band. It kills me to think that my wife said I'm selfish when I went so far as to rehab a destroyed joint that was going to be operated on anyway because I loved her. Sh*t. Arr Lupa, that breaks my heart. In time you will come to see that she is not worth it! Heres my experience, my ex proposed in a car park! Yes, in a car park. Not quite as bad as it sounds, as we had just been to a hotel we stayed at some years before and been to the Michilin starred resturant. He knew I would get embaressed if he did it in public, so he got down on one knee in the car park. Still! We choose the ring together the following day. Imagine wearing an engaement ring for 8 years, when it turns out he was CP and NEVER had any intention of actually marrying me. I just had it resized, with him, two months before he left (lost a lot of weight). I think there is something in this tale though, I have a friend of a friend, whose ex has commitment problems also. He has jilted her TWICE! First time the church was booked, reception sorted and deposit paid and she had bought her dress! He proposed on a bus! They too went ring shopping together. I tell you ladies out there, unless it's done right, ask your father for permission (my ex didn't which really upset my Dad), done in a nice setting WITH a ring, forget it! I'm just saying.
WTFO Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Arr Lupa, that breaks my heart. In time you will come to see that she is not worth it! Heres my experience, my ex proposed in a car park! Yes, in a car park. Not quite as bad as it sounds, as we had just been to a hotel we stayed at some years before and been to the Michilin starred resturant. He knew I would get embaressed if he did it in public, so he got down on one knee in the car park. Still! We choose the ring together the following day. Imagine wearing an engaement ring for 8 years, when it turns out he was CP and NEVER had any intention of actually marrying me. I just had it resized, with him, two months before he left (lost a lot of weight). I think there is something in this tale though, I have a friend of a friend, whose ex has commitment problems also. He has jilted her TWICE! First time the church was booked, reception sorted and deposit paid and she had bought her dress! He proposed on a bus! They too went ring shopping together. I tell you ladies out there, unless it's done right, ask your father for permission (my ex didn't which really upset my Dad), done in a nice setting WITH a ring, forget it! I'm just saying. Well, here's my situation. My STBX allready has the new bfs ring on her wedding finger. Now its not an engagement ring, but its not the ring I gave her. That's how I know its really over. Oh, and I don't wear my band anymore since she told me she wanted a separation back in April.
Author MrMayI Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 i have actually slept just about the entire night, each night, since moving. when i do wake up, i typically think of something besides my wife that i need to do the next day, but then i feel her start creeping back in. i just say a quick prayer for god to take it whatever direction is right, and then tell myself to shutup over and over, and next thing i know, it's the morning. a friend and his gf have been trying to "hook me up" with a friend of theirs. i im'ed with her for a bit yesterday, and i think she may be a loon. i had a message this morning, like "where'd you go *******? your house is not as important as me!" i sent back i'm sorry, i actually went to bed, but my house is pretty important right now, because my daughter and i need a respectable, clean place to live. i don't like being talked to like that, even in jest, upon the "introductory" phase.
phineas Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 i have actually slept just about the entire night, each night, since moving. when i do wake up, i typically think of something besides my wife that i need to do the next day, but then i feel her start creeping back in. i just say a quick prayer for god to take it whatever direction is right, and then tell myself to shutup over and over, and next thing i know, it's the morning. a friend and his gf have been trying to "hook me up" with a friend of theirs. i im'ed with her for a bit yesterday, and i think she may be a loon. i had a message this morning, like "where'd you go *******? your house is not as important as me!" i sent back i'm sorry, i actually went to bed, but my house is pretty important right now, because my daughter and i need a respectable, clean place to live. i don't like being talked to like that, even in jest, upon the "introductory" phase. Put the keyboard down, back up slowly, turn around & RUN! LOL! I may be jumping to conclusions, but you probably don't want to let then one into the house.
lupa Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 "where'd you go *******? your house is not as important as me!" If it didn't have a "lol" or "j/k" (just kidding) next to it, holy crap do not talk to her!
Author MrMayI Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Put the keyboard down, back up slowly, turn around & RUN! LOL! I may be jumping to conclusions, but you probably don't want to let then one into the house. If it didn't have a "lol" or "j/k" (just kidding) next to it, holy crap do not talk to her! exactly. i IM with my buddy all day here at work, and i don't want to tell him about it. his gf will stir the pot a bit. it was a bit creepy. she's very, very attractive though. i'll give her that much.
lupa Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 exactly. i IM with my buddy all day here at work, and i don't want to tell him about it. his gf will stir the pot a bit. it was a bit creepy. she's very, very attractive though. i'll give her that much. One night stand! One night stand!!!!
Author MrMayI Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 One night stand! One night stand!!!! ding ding ding!!!!! i know my buddy would be supportive, but his lady will give me such hell.
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