Wife Likes Young Boys

[BeyondLimits]

I missed this before, but read what you wrote to yourself

 

You feel you need an alibi to shield you from things that happen in your own house and to protect you from the highly disturbing actions of your own wife

 

Do you think she respects you?

 

Instead of taking a stand you run away while she cavorts with teenage boys

 

This is a prime example of the emasculation of men in our society. It isn't beause women have too many rights...when it comes down to it men let themsleves be walked on, because they are selfish and fear being alone

 

If you allow your wife to continue this behavior I dont feel sorry for you, I think youre weak

 

It's not that. I'd be one of the last to be emasculated,I've stood alone most of my life and was almost a confirmed bachelor before I met her.

 

Btw I did not run away from her 'cavorting',I didn't know what she was doing until after I came back this last time.

[giotto]

sounds like midlife crisis to me... and under stress form her job. She needs some form of distraction and messing around with young boys is surely fun for her... but, but... it's totally inappropriate! As someone said, what if you messed around with teenage girls in your house? You would probably be in prison by now... time to take drastic measures!

[LovieDove24]

Your original post you sounded downright outraged, now you are defending this woman saying "You don't THINK anything weird went on" even though there were half naked pictures of underage boys in your bedroom?!

 

Even if the unfathomable DIDN'T happen, this is still a sign of INTENT. It is disgusting, illegal and grounds for divorce. Let your wife know this and find somewhere else to stay while she stews this one over.

[voldigicam]

From an outside perspective:

 

1. Protect your assets from any possible civil suit. financial adviser/specialist attorney.

 

2. Protect yourself from any civil / criminal liability. Good attorney familiar with domestic relations / incest / infidelity. That type of thing. I'd probably do this first.

 

3. Arrange an interview with a sex / midlife / etc counselor who is experienced in interventions. Just for you. Be completely open, absolutely completely. Find someone older than 50. I know the youngsters have book learning, yeah yeah.

 

4. The hard part: no boys over, just draw the line gently. Can pose it as a "break" - indicate you're concerned. Be very loving, like correcting a puppy. This seems to be an out of control mind thing, so blame and stern behavior aren't likely to work. If boys show up, send or take them home.

 

 

Good luck, start a file, protect yourself and her as much as possible. Good luck!

[NoIDidn't]

BeyondLimits, I think I understand what you are saying is going on. You just overstated it somewhat in your first post.

 

It is illegal to be drunk or drinking in front of minors, I think. Its also illegal to take half naked pictures of minors. The fact that this is happening in your home, whether you are there or not, is a problem for you.

 

It sounds like you need to talk to her and "put your foot down" in so many words.

 

She does sound like she is going through some sort of midlife crisis, women do have them too. And, like a man's, it seems like a total break from reality. I don't think she's anywhere near a pedophile. But I do think that you have allowed her and your stepson to disrespect you too much and now need to reclaim at least a basic respect so you don't feel like you have to leave your house if his friends come over.

 

This is the first thing. If you don't want them over, its time they turn around and go back home. You shouldn't have to leave your home.

 

And if your W is drinking and you aren't joining her (as in, social drinking), you need to find out what is going on with her.

 

It sounds fixable while enraging.

[darby1]

I figured the boys were like 18-20's .. I just re-read.. 13 years old!!!! Ya.. this is twisted behavior beyond some insecurity issue and the wife needs to be let go to protect the children. The marriage is over when it puts the kids at risk. The children's safety must always come first! She took nude photos of 13 year old boys!!!!! Sick. get her outa there. Have her arrested yourself.

[mental_traveller]

Speak to a detective and a PI and get some video or at least audio recording devices in the house. You need evidence. I also suggest moving out, or preventing ANY juvenile coming in the house, until you get some evidence. You are at risk of being jailed and beaten up/raped/killed in prison for 10-30 years as a paedophile if this blows up and she has actually been doing stuff with 13 year olds.

[stillafool]

BeyondLimits, I think I understand what you are saying is going on. You just overstated it somewhat in your first post.

 

It is illegal to be drunk or drinking in front of minors, I think. Its also illegal to take half naked pictures of minors. The fact that this is happening in your home, whether you are there or not, is a problem for you.

 

It sounds like you need to talk to her and "put your foot down" in so many words.

 

She does sound like she is going through some sort of midlife crisis, women do have them too. And, like a man's, it seems like a total break from reality. I don't think she's anywhere near a pedophile. But I do think that you have allowed her and your stepson to disrespect you too much and now need to reclaim at least a basic respect so you don't feel like you have to leave your house if his friends come over.

 

This is the first thing. If you don't want them over, its time they turn around and go back home. You shouldn't have to leave your home.

 

And if your W is drinking and you aren't joining her (as in, social drinking), you need to find out what is going on with her.

 

It sounds fixable while enraging.

 

 

I certainly do. She is attracted to 13 year old boys for goodness sakes and doing things that are totally inappropriate with them. If she were just having a mid-life crisis she could start slipping around with 21 year olds, not children.

[HsMomma]

So, ewwwwwwww!!!! OP, this is just plain icky. Whether your wife has actually engaged in anything physical is almost secondary at this point. Her behavior is inexcusable and just plain wrong. I have a teenage daughter & let me tell you something. If I found out that, while spending the night at one of her friends' house, the dad took pictures of her and/or her friends partially clothed, he'd be praying for arrest by the time I got through with him. This is sick...and the fact that you just left the house is also just wrong - that left those boys at her mercy. You say you're "only" the step-dad & therefore, nobody, but you are an adult. She needs some help...you need to get it for her.

[clv0116]

It is illegal to be drunk or drinking in front of minors' date=' I think. Its also illegal to take half naked pictures of minors. [/quote']

 

The drinking thing I'm not sure about but the pictures thing is unfortunately probably true.

[angie2443]

The drinking thing I'm not sure about but the pictures thing is unfortunately probably true.

 

Do you mean that it is unfortunate that it is illegal to take pics of half naked minors? I don't understand what you mean in your post.

[clv0116]

Do you mean that it is unfortunate that it is illegal to take pics of half naked minors? I don't understand what you mean in your post.

 

It's unfortunate that it's illegal to take pictures of minors who are not exposing themselves any more than is permitted in a public park. What a bunch of perverts it must take to find something innocent like that obscene.

[Lizzie60]

BeyondLimits.. I think you very well know that this is not right.. but yet.. you're not doing anything about it.. except complaining about it on an anonymous forum...

 

I see you just as pathetic as she is... she definitely has emotional/mental issues since she associates herself with teens.. (getting drunk with them, etc.)... and you also have huge problems.. like looking the other way on her pedophilic behaviour.. (sp.)...

 

Methink she is utterly bored with you.. and she's doing stupid things to 'revive' herself.. sad.. really sad.

 

Call the parents.. talk to her.. and simply leave..

[surgngnl]

i'd get out before this turns legally ugly. this isn't a situation to stick around to watch.

[The Collector]

More info on the 'half naked' pics please. The rest of the stuff could be inappropriate but not consistent with a kiddie-fiddler.

[burning 4 revenge]

More info on the 'half naked' pics please. The rest of the stuff could be inappropriate but not consistent with a kiddie-fiddler.

I agree that what he wrote is not beyond a reasonable doubt as we Yanks say, but he must be sensing something that he's not communicating clearly

 

If a woman is drinking around a bunch of 13 year olds and acting girly around them it's a little inappropriateand indicative of something

[clv0116]

More info on the 'half naked' pics please. The rest of the stuff could be inappropriate but not consistent with a kiddie-fiddler.

 

My assumption is that he's trying to make it sound as bad as possible, and what we're talking about here is probably some young men or boys posing with their shirts off or something. If they had their junk in the wind I'd assume that point would have been clearly made.

[brianfighter]

hmm, that is just as terrible for your son as it is for you. trust me when i say this.

I personally think that only a mentally ill mother/wife can do such a thing. Don't tell her that, that will give her an excuse to carry on.

Someone was right in saying that she is finding unhealthy/bad ways to feel beautiful. You need to pull your strings as a husband rather than get angry with her. I think you should bring up this conversation in a sly way, talk about different types of relationships at first..then say you read on the internet about mother and son's friends relationships, and you heard things from a sons perspective. This doesnt involve the relationship between husband and wife, but the wife and the son, its important that she looks at things from all of these different angles, i recommend that you show her this. And this is what he said:

 

'if your son even finds out, never mind by you telling him, he will be grossed out & lose his best friend - and will also lose all of his happy and delightful emotions & respect for his mother. He may even disown you for good, yeah, for GOOD, for all the hurt and betrayal you caused him. But my question is: Why do people think that just because they HAVE feelings that they have to ACT on them??? It's not the attraction or the sexual feeling that's wrong - that's nature, but don’t get used to this fact. It is mentally sick for the woman/man to let this sexual feeling and attraction CONTINUE in their mind if it is not one that should NOT be thought of. So yeah, its natural to have that attraction and that odd sexual thought, as long as it is stopped RIGHT THERE WITHOUT FURTHER MENTALLY-DISTURBING, DISGUSTING and DEMORALISING CONTINUATION.

 

But why do people think they then have to DO SOMETHING with that feeling?? I've felt like killing lots of people & sleeping with others - but that didn't mean I acted on any of it, or thought about it longer than I mentally should!!

 

When you step into darkness, there is NEVER any sort of success, EVER. I will further prove this point in this particular context.

 

 

As Katherine Hepburn says in The African Queen, "Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put here to rise above."

 

Think about your son and his love to you, think about his mental health and well-being in more detail than anything you have ever done in your life. It may mean you shed a few tears, but let the emotions flow through, it’s a natural mother feeling for their own child.

 

Believe me, its better his friend beating the living daylights out of, knocking your own son out and punching him to the extent that there is a pool of blood around your unconscious son lying helplessly on the floor, than this happening between you two. Say if he fell out with his friend, and his friend beat up your son, not only does he have victory in a fight, thus male pride, but he also has your son's LOVE, you.

 

You as a woman don't really know what it is like to be a boy and the pressure the boy gets when he is bullied, your son falls out with his friend, what does his 'friend' say? "guess what, I ***ed your own mum!"

 

Nothing is worse for a son than to deal with his mother being ****ed by his own friend. Nothing will ever match the harm my mother would cause me by sleeping with my own friend, or a boy that I KNOW.

 

As a son, I would much rather the Angel of Death taking my own life away, because my mum is the very basis of my emotions, I love and respect her with all my heart, like how all sons naturally love their mothers, and like how all sons hate to admit so, if my mom betrayed me like that, I would be better off in my grave. EVERY single action and fantasy you have with his friend is 100% the same as making an action/having a fantasy of having your own son in the worst mental state a son can ever be in, thus potentially leading to his own suicide. Don’t think I am being too dramatic, I am a son myself.

 

If he was to say “that’s ok you can have a relationship”, he has subconsciously been defeated by his own friend. He is naturally thinking, no matter how much you try to convince him otherwise (because all males are natural protecters and leaders in their family, it’s a scientific fact as well as a behaviour act, just like how we are attracted to so many people in this world, even if we are married) – My ‘friend’ has stolen my place in my own mother’s heart. I love my mother with my heart, but she has chosen the love of my friend ultimately over my own, my friend is a winner, I am nothing compared to him, I may as well show my respect to him that he has took my worthy place, I could not fulfill this for my mother, she neglected me for a person who does not have unconditional love for her, she rejected me for a person who loves his mother more than he could ever love my own mother, I am defeated, I’ll just move on with life. This ‘acceptance’ he has made is much worse than his mental health being ruptured and constrained with angry emotions and jealous emotions and sad emotions. By going through with a relationship, you are making him the ultimate loser in life, he will continue to self-proclaim this throughout his life, and will find other means to make him happier – unlikely…he will find these means (IF he has not had battered confidence and love for himself and love for the world around him), every success that he makes will never make up for the loser that you have made him to be. That emptiness in his heart will forever remain.

 

 

 

So ask yourself, what do you value more – your kiddie jollies or your son’s health and love?

 

 

 

In the future, do not go anywhere where your son is naturally emotionally involved, it could potentially screw his head up, don’t ever risk your sons mental health. Get angered by immature ‘friends’ like this, he needs to get what he deserves for disrespecting your own son.

 

 

 

Even if he says on a random day that he doesn’t care about you having a relationship with his friend (not knowing that this situation exists), he does. It’s male nature remember.

 

 

 

Mothers only do it because they think they have the overall power over their sons and because they think in the slightest that their sons will get their head around it.

 

Well, their sons will never experience true happiness to its greatest extent ever again.

 

You are using your power as a mother to damage your own sons mental health, and to damage your own sons relationship with you, you will never be the same again after sleeping with his friend, things will be unnatural between you and your son, this relationship will walk away into the distance naturally, if he doesn’t know about it. The fact is, you are RISKING your own Son’s love and respect for you, as well as his mental health, and on a smaller note, his life. You are either a real mother, or a pointless animal ape that walks on this earth. There’s no such in-betweens.

 

 

 

How can a MOTHER even risk exposing their own son to such horrific things?'

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is what a frustrated person said about this sort of relationship, and I personally find it very powerful and very true.

 

I think you should be a proper husband to her, give her all these compliments and all this attention, fix up on your looks and BE the HOT one yourself, you have to feel like a champion by yourself, have a NEW ZEST FOR LIFE, and be happy when she wants to join you in your new 'zest'. Look after your physical and mental health.

 

Engage in spiritual activities WITH HER. I personally found that Islam worked for me. The stereotypes of the religion are ridiculous, and false. The muslim interpretations are what people fail to see. Islam is a way of life, and she needs saving. For me, Islam teaches me how to be a good husband and how she can be a good wife.

Please dont discriminate, i'm only trying to make a positive contribution in my own perspective.

 

 

Tell me how you are getting on I wish you the best.

[Jersey Shortie]

Holy crap. Your wife is MESSED UP. She could end up damaging your son. Do you think your son can't see her behavior or is ignorant to it? If you care about your child, YOU will do the right thing. She needs severe counceling STAT. As do you. This is NOT normal behavior for a grown woman. Mentally healthy grown women aren't attracted to 13 year old boys and don't convort with them. Please do what is best for your son FIRST. This situation you are currently in, NOT best for your son.

 

This whole post pisses me off.

 

Edited to add...your stepson. Hopefully you still care about looking out for him though since his mother isn't. She is a douche.

[MarkTwain]

BeyondLimits-

 

In her own mind, I imagine your wife has limits she won't go beyond. However, you mentioned alcohol... With booze in the equation, all bets are off. If she gets drunk enough, the "moral censor" that we all have will be effectively "gagged and bound". At that point, she may well do whatever she feels most strongly attracted to doing, or... putting it another way, if one of the young lads comes on to her, she may be unable to resist.

 

So what I'm saying is, she needs saving from herself. Don't wait to find out just how low she can go.

 

On another note, how is the sex life between you?

[sunnylu]

what is really sad is how numb our society seems to have become to what is morally acceptable behavior. As previously mentioned, yes, her behaviour is completely illegal and DEFINITELY immoral by an counts. Not only is she engaging and inducing child pornography, but aside from that, no matter if the kid is willing or not, is still pedaphilia. Your wife needs HELP......if you don't get her into an IN-Patient psychological facility now, she will end up in prison and you might be right next to her if you don't take action now. Get a psychiatrist for her.....AND a good lawyer for you. don't walk...RUN its your moral obligation to stop her and save these kids............

 

i'm sorry you have to deal with this..........

[Chrome Barracuda]

I know this thread is old but the OP has to seriously divorce her, this woman was beyond disgusting, besides the mental disorder women are pedophiles too. I wouldnt have tolerated that crap or let it go on for long. I would have been working with the police to actively get her into jail and got a D.A. to prosecute or something.

 

There's right and then there is wrong but this is insane!