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Good for you Lisa, not calling him is a GOOD thing.

It would not be constructive in any way, every time I have ANY contact with my stbx, it sets me back.

I have to because of the kids, but it must be kept to a minimum.

Every time you speak, email, or send a text, no matter how succinct, or well worded, it falls on deaf ears.

They will not have a lightbulb moment, and say aaaaaahhh I see it all so clearly, I love you!

In fact I'm sure my stbx used to tut loudly, and say why doesn't he get the message, I was right to leave him what a knobber!!!!!!

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Thanks. How can people be so cruel hey? Like I said before your wife will get her comupannce (spelling), I'm certain of it.

 

I can't get over the fact it's only been 4 weeks for you, I wish I was as strong as you, you're an inspiration. :)

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:eek::eek: Wow, I couldn't put it any better then that!! That is exactly how I feel. It's amazing how in posting back and forth, that the pieces come together and all becomes clear. This might as well be my post, it is worded so well.

 

I remembered something he said years ago that you may find interesting in relevance to what I wrote earlier.

 

We have some mutual friends, a couple, he was at uni with them, but as I used to visit him weekends, I became friendly with the women. When we moved to London, he ran into them one day and turned out they lived round the corner, so we became friendly with them again (I still speak to them now and so does he).

 

Anyway, the man is very much like me in personality and temprement, likes, dislikes, night owl etc and the women is very much like my ex, early riser, passive, same likes etc. One day I commented to him that wouldn't life be easier if I was with someone like this man and him with someone like this women, that way there would be less discussion over what time to go to bed, get up, what to do on a weekend etc. I know it sounds like a weird conversation, but it really wasn't, it was like a philosophical musing if you see what I mean?

 

He said something like, "no your wrong, I think the reason we work so well together and they work so well together is because we aren't similar. Opposites attract, what one lacks, the other compensates for in the relationship that's why we work so well. If we were too similar, it wouldn't work".

 

I remembered this just this morning after you posted me back. If that's not saying he thought we were compatable I don't know what is! Thinking about it, I remember having this conversation during the time that he now claims to have been feeling unhappy and thinking how he was fed up with putting his feelings aside. Talk about contradictory.

 

Thought you might find it interesting as I find it hard to believe your wife could be unhappy with your very personality given you were together 13 years, she knew who you were. Makes me wonder if it's all just excuses on both of our other halfs parts? Hope you don't mind me mentioning this.

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I don't mind you mentioning at all. I have always enjoyed the opposites attract theory. Me and my wife had been perfect examples. She is a well educated college proffessor, she loves to sleep in and stay up late. Not much of a drinker, actually never touched a drop before I came along. I on the other hand, paint cars for a living, am an earlybird, but hit the sack promptly, and drink a pretty healthy amount. Those are just examples, but many of the things we didn't match on, we ended up complimenting each other. I would hate to be with my match, BORING:rolleyes:

TOJAZ

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