girl68 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 That self-righteous attitude again. Your example about your gf and the ONS has NOTHING to do with the OP. The OP never cheated on her bf. Have YOU never even fantasized about sex with someone other than your partner, when you were in a relationship? Have you never watched porn and masturbated to it? Or even looked at a skimpily-dressed girl walking down the street? Have you never even felt your blood stir a little? Oh please... what you describe here NEVER, EVEN, NEVER... is far from the "strong urges" the OP is describing. She makes it out like it happens time and time again, and the urges are significantly stronger than the situations you're describing. So please, get over yourself. It is completly different. Your statements are absolute whereas we all aknowledge that the stuff you describe does happen and is appecptable from time to time, in moderation.
Els Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Oh please... what you describe here NEVER, EVEN, NEVER... is far from the "strong urges" the OP is describing. She makes it out like it happens time and time again, and the urges are significantly stronger than the situations you're describing. So please, get over yourself. It is completly different. Your statements are absolute whereas we all aknowledge that the stuff you describe does happen and is appecptable from time to time, in moderation. So what would you consider in moderation? Not acting on it? Making sure she stays faithful? Not putting herself in tempting situations? Seeking help about it? Sounds like the OP is doing all that already. In effect, you and I are saying the same thing anyway. 'Stay faithful and learn to deal with it. Desire, crushes and curiosity is natural, normal and healthy. Keeping in in check and under control is up to you. Do not put yourself in compramising situations, and do not get to close to these men.' Dexter is saying that for just having 'desire, crushes and curiousity', her bf should dump her. He also likened her to an ex of his that DID act on her desire and cheat on him. That is what I was responding to. Not quite sure why you're jumping down my neck instead.
girl68 Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Dexter is saying that for just having 'desire, crushes and curiousity', her bf should dump her. He also likened her to an ex of his that DID act on her desire and cheat on him. Nah I agree with Dexter. It's normal to have the crush and desire whatever for another person. But you do not take it over the top and go say "Hey, bf I saw a hot guy in my gym class and I wanted to bang his brains out in the bathroom." Nor would you run and say: "hey babe, I just wanted you to know what you thought about my ever so strong desire to screw other men, I love you though." And so if my partner came to me and had this talk with me I'd do exactly what Dexter describes, "bye b!tch". Crushes/ desire/ attraction to others = normal and healthy Expressing the desire/ attraction / "strong" sexual urgers to your partner = asking for the sweep out the door.
EnigmasMuse Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 To the OP, hunnychild don't tell him....I mean really now you don't want him knowing the real you of your thoughts...I mean after all if you did you could get a surprise and he tells you he was thinking of getting it on with other girls..then you both could either have an open relationship and invite all kinds, or break it off and go your separate ways..anyway good luck! Thoughts are thoughts..but actions are different.
Kamille Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 It's not really that I'm wanting more per se, just different and/or new. I have no idea why, because the sex I have with my bf is awesome. Wanting something different and new isn't necessarily the same thing as wanting other men. Anyway you could spice up your already awesome sex-life by adding-in some play-acting? Maybe what you're craving is sex-detached from love more then sex with different men. Again, I think there are ways your partner could be brought to participate in meeting those needs. Have you discussed sexual fantasies with your boyfriend? Would you say your desire is a fantasy or an actual impulse you might act on? Those are two completely different things... I think it's fairly normal to fantasize about other men in the course of a relationship. The line is drawn when you want to act on it. So, instead of discussing wanting to have sex with other men, I would introduce the topic as fantasizing about having sex with a complete stranger.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 LOL but the guy was gorgeous and she wanted to know what it was like , but it didnt mean anything! Yeah right! Her friend just ruined her relationship, ooops she did that on her own. well, she called me for almost another 2 months here and there crying begging for a 2nd chance. I repeatedly told her she doesn't deserve one and just told her to let it go. Finally I knew I had to keep her from calling, so I just told her I didn't want a "cheating wh0re" for a girlfriend. I didn't want to get all that harsh with her, but she stopped calling. mission accomplished. Ok, enough threadjack, now back to your regularly scheduled fickle fest.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 That self-righteous attitude again. what is so self-righteous about not wanting a woman that desires to screw other men? didn't say I'd call her a b!tch or anything like that, I'd just request that she leaves. Your example about your gf and the ONS has NOTHING to do with the OP. The OP never cheated on her bf. It had to do with one of the pieces of advice to tell her boyfriend about her desires, and what possible outcome there might be for him knowing. also related to if she has those desires, and she finds herself in a position of temptation...she's gonna go for it. Have YOU never even fantasized about sex with someone other than your partner, when you were in a relationship? sure, here and there, everyone does it. not everyone desires to actually do it, and the OP seems obsessed with it. most people, I would guess, aren't obsessed with constantly thinking about screwing someone other than their SO, and having the desire to actually do it. Enema nailed it right on the head. Desire is normal. Choosing to do the right thing and not act on it, though, is what separates the men from the boys, the humans from the primates. well with her desire and always "wanting" to have sex with other men...its just a matter of time before she can be labeled "primate".
Dexter Morgan Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Dexter is saying that for just having 'desire, crushes and curiousity', her bf should dump her. Nope...didn't say that at all. everyone has fantasies, the original poster actually desires to f##k someone other than her bf. Sure, I have an occasional fantasy...difference is...I don't want to actually do it with anyone but my SO....the OP does want to do it with other people.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 28, 2009 Posted May 28, 2009 Thoughts are thoughts..but actions are different. her thoughts are that of desiring the actual action...a little bit different than a simple run of the mill fantasy.
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