Wife affairs and current with co-worker

[Wesley2323]

Well my husband (Wesley) and I are giving 100% honesty to each other, at least I know I am. He showed me his post and urged me not to read the replies...well I read anyway.

A lot of the comments on here were eye opening to say the least. I have been taking the steps to finding a new job, enrolled us in MC and have been applying the NC rule as much as possible to the OM. We work together and sad to say I am part time his supervisor so that does make NC hard on those days when I have no choice but to interact. .

 

She is not being 100% honest, has not been applying the NC rule and admitted tonight that shes continuing the affair (without sex) because the guy porked her in the bathroom without a condom a couple of weeks ago and might have gotten her pregnant. She been lying to me while keeping the guy around just in case she was pregnant cause she knows id kick her to the curb if she was. pregnancy test tonight shows shes of course not pregnant.

 

We did go to MC and the guy determines that because she was abused as a child this is very likely a sex addiction and she needs specialized help. So while im feeling sorry for her for all that has pained her in the past and willing to help her get through the problem, she continues to lie to me! Of course the MC says thats what addicts do is lie to cover their addiction. But ya'd think if she was admitting the problem and really wanting to seek help then shed be honest with me and get into this counseling.

 

Yeah this is the last straw. She wont move forward other than applying for one job and going to MC. I don't even want to touch her now. Shes fooled me 3 times now with this crap and shame shame shame on me for it. I'm so ready for this to be over but she keeps suckering me with these promises of change. She doesn't want a divorce and refuses to move in with that guy unless I kick her out through divorce. Someone please kill me because I'm such an emotional wreck I don't have it in me to do anything about it.

[seibert253]

She is not being 100% honest, has not been applying the NC rule and admitted tonight that shes continuing the affair (without sex) because the guy porked her in the bathroom without a condom a couple of weeks ago and might have gotten her pregnant. She been lying to me while keeping the guy around just in case she was pregnant cause she knows id kick her to the curb if she was. pregnancy test tonight shows shes of course not pregnant.

 

We did go to MC and the guy determines that because she was abused as a child this is very likely a sex addiction and she needs specialized help. So while im feeling sorry for her for all that has pained her in the past and willing to help her get through the problem, she continues to lie to me! Of course the MC says thats what addicts do is lie to cover their addiction. But ya'd think if she was admitting the problem and really wanting to seek help then shed be honest with me and get into this counseling.

 

Yeah this is the last straw. She wont move forward other than applying for one job and going to MC. I don't even want to touch her now. Shes fooled me 3 times now with this crap and shame shame shame on me for it. I'm so ready for this to be over but she keeps suckering me with these promises of change. She doesn't want a divorce and refuses to move in with that guy unless I kick her out through divorce. Someone please kill me because I'm such an emotional wreck I don't have it in me to do anything about it.

 

Strike three my man. File, have her served, then help her pack. You deserve much better.

 

If she was remorseful and honest from the go, yeah give it a shot, but now, maybe time for a new ballgame.

 

Keep us updated.

 

Good luck and God Bless

[Wesley2323]

Well, I read someone else's problem on here that's similar to mine and he made an ultimatum for her to quit her job or get a divorce. She chose divorce. So I'm going to parallel that since I'm too much of a coward and a sucker otherwise. I gave her the same ultimatum this morning to have an interview for a new job, quit her job, or accept the divorce within a week. I'm getting the divorce papers ready next week just in case. She is taking a vacation from work on June 8th to buy herself some time to get a new job... or choose between me or him. Either way, ultimatum is there now and I'm sticking to my guns this time.

[Dexter Morgan]

Well my husband (Wesley) and I are giving 100% honesty to each other, at least I know I am. He showed me his post and urged me not to read the replies...well I read anyway.

A lot of the comments on here were eye opening to say the least. I have been taking the steps to finding a new job, enrolled us in MC and have been applying the NC rule as much as possible to the OM.

 

and what do you have to say for your serial cheating, and sleeping with a 15 year old??

 

If your husband is forgiving you for that, , then all I have to say is my heart goes out to him as I believe he is doing so out of desperation and is in shock about it all right now.

 

As if serial cheating wasn't bad enough...with a 15 year old? Your husband can't even trust you around kids. You said "I am the offender"....ya, in more ways than one. If what your husband said in this post is true, you are a sex offender as well, regardless whether or not you have been arrested for sleeping with a minor.

[Dexter Morgan]

She is not being 100% honest, has not been applying the NC rule and admitted tonight that shes continuing the affair (without sex) because the guy porked her in the bathroom without a condom a couple of weeks ago and might have gotten her pregnant. She been lying to me while keeping the guy around just in case she was pregnant cause she knows id kick her to the curb if she was. pregnancy test tonight shows shes of course not pregnant.

 

We did go to MC and the guy determines that because she was abused as a child this is very likely a sex addiction and she needs specialized help. So while im feeling sorry for her for all that has pained her in the past and willing to help her get through the problem, she continues to lie to me! Of course the MC says thats what addicts do is lie to cover their addiction. But ya'd think if she was admitting the problem and really wanting to seek help then shed be honest with me and get into this counseling.

 

Yeah this is the last straw. She wont move forward other than applying for one job and going to MC. I don't even want to touch her now. Shes fooled me 3 times now with this crap and shame shame shame on me for it. I'm so ready for this to be over but she keeps suckering me with these promises of change. She doesn't want a divorce and refuses to move in with that guy unless I kick her out through divorce. Someone please kill me because I'm such an emotional wreck I don't have it in me to do anything about it.

 

exactly. get a divorce. she not only cheats, but sleeps with kids. you can't trust her around anyone.

 

move on with your life, let her be some other poor saps problem.

[Heavenmarriage]

deleted post

[paige09]

exactly. get a divorce. she not only cheats, but sleeps with kids. you can't trust her around anyone.

 

move on with your life, let her be some other poor saps problem.

 

 

 

I was 19 at the time and the "kid" was 17.

Also Dexter you sound as though you are not done healing from your own problems so while I understand your frustration you should probably take your verbal abuse out on your ex not me.

Also my husband's affairs were with my best friend (whom was married to his childhood best friend at the time) and his ex (the second occurred after we had reconciled and while I was pregnant). But yet you have no advice to give him? Just curious...why not?

[Mr. Lucky]

I was 19 at the time and the "kid" was 17.

Also Dexter you sound as though you are not done healing from your own problems so while I understand your frustration you should probably take your verbal abuse out on your ex not me.

Also my husband's affairs were with my best friend (whom was married to his childhood best friend at the time) and his ex (the second occurred after we had reconciled and while I was pregnant). But yet you have no advice to give him? Just curious...why not?

I hope you're not planning on addressing the issues in your marriage by proposing that two (or more) wrongs make a right? How does your H's cheating justify yours?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Dexter Morgan]

I was 19 at the time and the "kid" was 17.

 

Ok, so I guess that makes it all better. guess you can't be considered a pedophile anyway:rolleyes:. But you are still a cheater.

 

 

 

Also Dexter you sound as though you are not done healing from your own problems so while I understand your frustration you should probably take your verbal abuse out on your ex not me.

 

Nice try cupcake. we are giving your object of betrayal advice here. And the advice is to get rid of you.

 

I took it out on my X by getting rid of her. She is insignificant to me now.

 

Still doesn't mean we can't despise you, and people like you, and advise your victim that there is a better life out there for him.

 

 

 

Also my husband's affairs were with my best friend (whom was married to his childhood best friend at the time) and his ex (the second occurred after we had reconciled and while I was pregnant). But yet you have no advice to give him? Just curious...why not?

 

Hmmm...maybe its because he made no mention of it and where did he say he had an affair? I must have missed it.

 

As far as I know, your little reply here is the first we are hearing of it....so I am kind of wondering as to the credibility of a serial cheater.

 

 

So, to Wesley, care to answer these allegations of hers and if they are true, why they were omitted from the original thread?

 

Either way, paige, YOU are a SERIAL CHEATER. In lieu of Wes coming clean with what you alleged he did(which I'm wondering why you didn't bring it up in your first post here), my advice to him still stands. he need to get rid of you.

 

And if the both of you cheated, then my advice would still be to get this marriage dissolved.

[Owl]

I'd suggest similar advice to you...at this point, I'm not sure that there's ANY basis here for a viable marriage.

 

Both of you have cheated multiple times on each other.

 

Frankly...neither of you are "marriage material". Neither of you are "trustworthy" in a relationship.

 

There's nothing in your post to indicate that EITHER of you are likely to change anytime soon...and the only hope for your marriage would be if you BOTH changed.

 

I'd simply suggest that it's time to start looking at the best way to seperate and support your children going forward, at this point.

 

This was my reply to Wes's first post...and my advice hasn't changed since.

[Dexter Morgan]

Two wrongs don't make a right, but I just found where he looked up an X after you had cheated on him a few times. Looks like he was looking for revenge...which he shouldn't have. He should have just divorced you before thinking messing around would make it even.

 

In any event, you had already cheated on him several times....YOU, paige, cannot take any high road here as to what he did. You did it before he did, during, and after.

 

he was wrong, but you set the stage for it all. You were NEVER faithful to him and his biggest mistake was marrying you knowing you are a cheater.

 

You are one now, and always will be one....at least until menopause...then maybe you will stop.

[Owl]

Two wrongs don't make a right, but I just found where he looked up an X after you had cheated on him a few times. Looks like he was looking for revenge...which he shouldn't have. He should have just divorced you before thinking messing around would make it even.

 

In any event, you had already cheated on him several times....YOU, paige, cannot take any high road here as to what he did. You did it before he did, during, and after.

 

he was wrong, but you set the stage for it all. You were NEVER faithful to him and his biggest mistake was marrying you knowing you are a cheater.

 

You are one now, and always will be one....at least until menopause...then maybe you will stop.

 

I'd agree that there is no "high road" here.

 

Neither can look at the other and justify their actions by saying "He/she started it!!!".

 

Unless something happens to BOTH of them that causes some kind of major life change/massive mental and emotional realignment to both of them simultaneously...the relationship they've created with their infidelities is going to be the relationship they live in together...permanently.

 

Odds aren't real high in their favor...

 

Paige/Wesley...what steps do the two of you intend to take from here to create that major realignment?

[Dexter Morgan]

Paige/Wesley...what steps do the two of you intend to take from here to create that major realignment?

 

reading Wes' last post, I think he is packing it in and will be getting a divorce. She isn't going to change and is always in an affair. She won't give up her affair partner according to Wes, so nothing left to be done. Hope he sends her packing soon.