Oh...my...god.

[Art_Critic]

Keep in mind I am only on # 175...

 

.....

[whichwayisup]

Here read this. Alpha's quick rundown of what's been going on.

 

Originally Posted by alphamale

basically TP started dating this new bisexual woman a few months back. within the past week or two his ex bisexual gf sent him an email (after 3 years of NC and she dumped hiim). he responded back to her within 5 hours. they got together and he went all ga ga and she apologized and gave him some sob story saying she's changed and realized how she hurt him. now she wants to get back together with TP and "build a life".

 

he's probably bangin' her right now

 

basically she's full of sheeyot

[alphamale]

Here read this. Alpha's quick rundown of what's been going on.

:lmao:

[Teacher's Pet]

As for the letters to the EXgf. It seems she knew she had you back 5 hours later. ....... Not trying to beat you up here. Just picking posts...

 

You might not have noticed...

 

But her email to me was her second one... the first one went unanswered....

 

The second one was answered 5 DAYS after she sent it.....

 

The first time we actually talked, she said she was assuming I was blowing her off (which I wasn't, thought it might seem like I was)

 

-TP

blowing HER off...hmm..a switch!

[Teacher's Pet]

Yep - 5 hours after 3 years. You do the desperation math...

 

How am I "desperate"?

 

The girl I have been seeing takes care of all of my...physical needs.

 

-TP

and how.

[Teacher's Pet]

Who says she's miserable ? (~ Dumpeee's favorite wish~ )

 

She just had a bad breakup a couple of months ago (karma at it's best)...

 

And she also just had major surgery within the last year or so (and before you ask, yes, she showed me the surgical scar lol)

 

It wasn't until shortly after the surgery that it turned out to be benign.

 

So yes, she's had it VERY rough lately.

 

Again, doesn't change anything, but it was enough to give her a fresh perspective.

 

-TP

chicks dig scars

[MindoverMatter]

But her email to me was her second one... the first one went unanswered....

The second one was answered 5 DAYS after she sent it.....

 

Oh, so this is the truth now. As far as I recall, you never knew anything about a first e-mail and she just said this. Even if she send the first - you never read it, not answering is no accomplishment on your part.

 

And you didn't read it and waited for 5 days, you didn't see it for 5 days and then you got all giddy and desperate and answered right away.

 

It's still: 3 years and 5 hours.

 

The girl I have been seeing takes care of all of my...physical needs.

 

Dumb her already. You've been using her as a rebound.

 

The first time we actually talked, she said she was assuming I was blowing her off (which I wasn't, thought it might seem like I was)

 

And that was very, very well played on her part.

[Touche]

There's such a thing as emotional desperation you know.

[amaysngrace]

She just had a bad breakup a couple of months ago (karma at it's best)...

 

And she also just had major surgery within the last year or so (and before you ask, yes, she showed me the surgical scar lol)

 

It wasn't until shortly after the surgery that it turned out to be benign.

 

So yes, she's had it VERY rough lately.

 

Again, doesn't change anything, but it was enough to give her a fresh perspective.

 

-TP

chicks dig scars

 

You know having a scare like that does put life into perspective.

 

I really could see how this could change her and make her place value on things she didn't value as much as before. You TP being one of those things.

 

I really wish you the best of luck. If you are happy that is all that matters. Follow your heart.

[Teacher's Pet]

Oh, so this is the truth now. As far as I recall, you never knew anything about a first e-mail and she just said this. Even if she send the first - you never read it, not answering is no accomplishment on your part.

 

And you didn't read it and waited for 5 days, you didn't see it for 5 days and then you got all giddy and desperate and answered right away.

 

From her perspective, it was IGNORED for 5 days. I've never told her otherwise.

 

-TP

let 'er sweat

[Teacher's Pet]

You know having a scare like that does put life into perspective.

 

I really could see how this could change her and make her place value on things she didn't value as much as before. You TP being one of those things.

 

I really wish you the best of luck. If you are happy that is all that matters. Follow your heart.

 

Tonight I'm following my stomach. She's making roast beef.

 

Meanwhile, my current...friend is working, and then going out with her friends...

 

I've seen her twice in the last month, and won't see her for another week.

 

By next Friday, I will have figured out how to resolve all of this.

 

My friends are giving me mixed advice, but it tends towards persuing the relationship with The Teacher, and this is even from the friends who introduced me to my current. They know her and I are too different to have anything more than the "fling" we have now.

 

-TP

likes being flung, but.....

[amaysngrace]

let 'er sweat

 

Make her sweat.

 

If the people in your life think it's good and you think it's good then I say good luck with her. She means a lot to you.

 

She just better be nice to you.

[AriaIncognito]

 

My friends are giving me mixed advice, but it tends towards persuing the relationship with The Teacher, and this is even from the friends who introduced me to my current. They know her and I are too different to have anything more than the "fling" we have now.

 

-TP

likes being flung, but.....

 

This friend is telling you that you're being insane and that it's going to end up killing you. Sorry but you're being absolutely ridiculous with this.

 

First of all, you're reeking of desperation as another poster mentioned. You couldn't even sit on the email for a day without replying, after crafting multiple drafts.

 

Second of all, this chick treated you like crap and you're running back for more. You admitted to me 3 years ago that you and she were on again off again. I don't understand why the 3 years have erased your memory.

 

TP I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to say, I'm not backing this one. And that's not like me. But I know this is going to end up really screwing you over. And I dont like to sit back and watch that.

 

A select few posters are trying to see the posiitives in this, but I'd caution many that they don't know the full story. I venture to guess I know close to all of it from all you've told me.

 

I just think your clock is ticking, and you're settling on something you thought was true love. Nobody understands this feeling better than I...but I can tell you that you do end up finding it again...just a matter of dealing with the interim.

[whichwayisup]

She just had a bad breakup a couple of months ago (karma at it's best)...

Aside from that and her recent health scare, it's still WAY too soon to say "she's changed." From what you've said, or atleast how you've made it seem - She's a completely different person than 3 years ago. NOONE changes THAT much in 3 months, no way.

 

She obviously hasn't changed her behaviour or thinking patterns (hense making a move on you knowing about the girlfriend), though I DO see you changing/justifying now. Calling your gf now "friend"? Before the ex came back into your life, this current girl was GIRLFRIEND, now she's a "friend?"

 

From her perspective, it was IGNORED for 5 days. I've never told her otherwise.

That makes no difference. What counts is, YOU didn't wait 5 days. Doesn't matter how long the ex thinks you waited or didn't wait.

 

TP, listen to Aria!

[Teacher's Pet]

*pulling out what's left of my hair*

 

-TP

yeah, the pubes too

[Touche]

*pulling out what's left of my hair*

 

-TP

yeah, the pubes too

 

I really know how you feel. Look, if you think you'll regret not giving this a try, do it. But know that it's not likely to last.

 

If you were having problems within the first year of dating and you were on and off, then the writing is most likely on the wall...no matter whether you think those reasons are no longer there or not.

 

Just know that this is risky. Sure without risk there's no reward, but for my money I like to go with things that are a good bet, wherever possible. And this one isn't, IMO.

 

So go ahead, TP. Just know what the hell you might be in for. If it ends up working out, then great. If not, I just sincerely hope you don't wind up in a really bad place (like I did.)

 

But yeah, I do think you're fooling yourself.

[iBelieve In Symmetry]

*pulling out what's left of my hair*

 

-TP

yeah, the pubes too

 

Ahahaha.

 

I'm with the majority on this one (you SHOULDN'T pursue this relationship with The Teacher). But putting myself in your shoes, this argument must be so frustrating lol.

 

I understand the whole she's a great person and you were in love with her and she's changed, etc etc. You may be right, and I don't doubt it. But truth is SHE f*cked up, and YOU suffered because of it. And you had to go through depression and the whole annoying recovery process because of her little mistake.

 

Though it may seem like it, people here aren't against you, they're for you. She doesn't deserve you. It doesn't matter how much she's changed, it doesn't change what she did.

[whichwayisup]

It doesn't matter how much she's changed, it doesn't change what she did.

But he has forgiven her for what she did.

 

TP, I agree, people are here for you, not against you... We're just your inner voice screaming, that's all - But I do get that you're frustrated. Just hope my replies aren't coming off as mean, they aren't meant to. They're supposed to make you stop and think, not just barrel ahead with this.

[Teacher's Pet]

Trust me...

 

I know you guys are nothing BUT supportive.

 

You have no idea how torn I am inside over this, but I'm looking at it from every possible angle...

 

My current "relationship" is a doomed one, regardless. She's a swinger who is against marriage/kids/etc....She has a dead-end job, and really has no reason to expand her horizons. So, no long-term there.....

 

The Teacher was always "mixed" on having kids, but she's even more committment-minded now that when we were together. I don't want kids without a committed relationship, regardless.

 

If I get back with her, this time around, I know who she is. Yes, she has changed so much for the better, but it is true that no one EVER changes 100%. At least there really aren't anymore "surprises" that can come my way. When we were first together, she gave me every reason to run like hell, even fairly early on, but I didn't.

 

The second time around, her "grip" will be VERY loose, at best. I am prepared to get out the minute it gets really awkward.

 

I guess I'm in a "been there, done that" kind of situation. I think I stuck around with her the first time because I wanted to drag the situation out to see "what happens next"..... Most of the "mystery" is gone, so nothing will force me to be, well... the Teacher's Pet.

 

I've spent enough time single in the last 3 years to be comfortable with it, if I should be faced with the reality that it's not working.

 

I'll say it. Women dig me. I truly don't think if I were to become single again that I'd have a lack of female companionship. Besides, my circle of friends is 100x better than it was 3 years ago. I have no reason to fear being lonely, no matter what.

 

Going back to her means that I'm risking a "sure thing" sexual relationship, for a chance at a real committment that could lead to so much more with someone that I did (and yes, still do) love and can relate too.

 

If I were to stay with my current, I'd wind up ending things soon anyway. She has some issues and drama that I'd rather not be a part of.

 

The Teacher has cleared up a lot of the **** from her life, and for the most part, is drama free, except for regular medical checkups due to her recent health scare. She has few friends now, at least very few of the "old crew". She's basically starting over, and I hope for her sake that she's found her way.

 

I'm willing to take that chance. I know the odds are heavily against me on this, but I'm long overdue beating the odds on something in life, so what better than love?

 

-TP

.....though winning the WSOP would be neat-o

[whichwayisup]

She's basically starting over, and I hope for her sake that she's found her way.

So, why not give her that time to figure it out? 3 months from a bad break up isn't that long - Let her actions in the now show you she's changed not just because she's telling you she has. Make sense?

 

To be honest, sometimes it's best to let old love/ex's disappear. The trust issues, pain, all that stuff, is this woman REALLY worth pursuing again after what you went through with her the last time? Reading your last paragraph, I guess so..

 

Shield your heart, keep things casual and again, let her actions NOW show you she's changed. Don't go on her word. Trust is earned, especially in this situation, so don't go give it away too fast.

[AriaIncognito]

I give up.

[PinkToes]

The second time around, her "grip" will be VERY loose, at best. I am prepared to get out the minute it gets really awkward.

 

Oh it's waaaay too late for that. You're joking, right?

[TheBigCow]

I have to say your current GF seems to be getting the short end of the stick here... unless she's aware its only a physical relationship?

 

Sounds like you should end that immediately to me.

[e.clipse]

TP, whether you are making a mistake or not, nobody truly knows; not even yourself or The Teacher. all we have are opinions and all we can give are assumptions that are based on your history with this woman.

 

my opinion aligns itself with the majority on here: i think you are making a mistake in reconciling with her because it is my fundamental belief that while people can change some of their aspects, their core will always remain the same, and it is often those core aspects that cannot be changed which slowly but surely mold them right back into what they once were.

 

right now, everything seems to hopeful. it is better than a new relationship, even, because your future now seems so different, and you have a past which color you have changed in a matter of weeks.

 

the bottom line seems to be that regardless of what people here or elsewhere tell you, you have already made up your mind. and in light of that, i can just wish you for the best, which, in my opinion, is that you don't get as hurt this time around when it all ends.

[RunawayTrain]

Trust me...

 

I know you guys are nothing BUT supportive.

 

You have no idea how torn I am inside over this, but I'm looking at it from every possible angle...

 

My current "relationship" is a doomed one, regardless. She's a swinger who is against marriage/kids/etc....She has a dead-end job, and really has no reason to expand her horizons. So, no long-term there.....

 

The Teacher was always "mixed" on having kids, but she's even more committment-minded now that when we were together. I don't want kids without a committed relationship, regardless.

 

If I get back with her, this time around, I know who she is. Yes, she has changed so much for the better, but it is true that no one EVER changes 100%. At least there really aren't anymore "surprises" that can come my way. When we were first together, she gave me every reason to run like hell, even fairly early on, but I didn't.

 

The second time around, her "grip" will be VERY loose, at best. I am prepared to get out the minute it gets really awkward.

 

I guess I'm in a "been there, done that" kind of situation. I think I stuck around with her the first time because I wanted to drag the situation out to see "what happens next"..... Most of the "mystery" is gone, so nothing will force me to be, well... the Teacher's Pet.

 

I've spent enough time single in the last 3 years to be comfortable with it, if I should be faced with the reality that it's not working.

 

I'll say it. Women dig me. I truly don't think if I were to become single again that I'd have a lack of female companionship. Besides, my circle of friends is 100x better than it was 3 years ago. I have no reason to fear being lonely, no matter what.

 

Going back to her means that I'm risking a "sure thing" sexual relationship, for a chance at a real committment that could lead to so much more with someone that I did (and yes, still do) love and can relate too.

 

If I were to stay with my current, I'd wind up ending things soon anyway. She has some issues and drama that I'd rather not be a part of.

 

The Teacher has cleared up a lot of the **** from her life, and for the most part, is drama free, except for regular medical checkups due to her recent health scare. She has few friends now, at least very few of the "old crew". She's basically starting over, and I hope for her sake that she's found her way.

 

I'm willing to take that chance. I know the odds are heavily against me on this, but I'm long overdue beating the odds on something in life, so what better than love?

 

-TP

.....though winning the WSOP would be neat-o

 

I was reading some of your other posts, we live in the same county dude lol small world. Fallsview sucks!