I want a first meeting . Insecurity and jealousy are rising

[KikiW]

The sad thing is, everyone here wanted to be supportive of him - some tried being gentle, some tried slapping it into him, but no one wanted to sit there and gleefully giggle at his situation. Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to give someone the truth, but I guess he will just have to travel that road by himself Poor guy, I really do feel bad for him.

[Confusedalways]

Not sure how to put it delicately, but something tells me OP knows we're all right and she's lying but is desperate (hate to use that word but can't come up with another) to believe he's willing to convince himself she isn't lying just for his own temporary happiness.

[Els]

I'm a bit curious at the notion. If it plays games and claims to be a girl, why does everyone assume it's actually a guy til proven otherwise, whereas if it plays games and claims to be a guy, people don't usually require proof to believe it? Why doesn't anyone do the same thing regarding people on these forums?

 

I once had a whole community full of players in a certain game debating and speculating about my sex, simply because I was one of the more popular players. I really couldn't webcam at that time because my pc was in my parents' living room (was in high school then) and they'd go ballistic if they saw me camming. So I blissfully allowed them to continue speculating, it was fun to observe anyway. I was a bit worried though about whether my ex, whom I was rather close with at that time, believed me or not. Surprisingly he did, and we remained close until I finally moved out to college and got me a cam.

 

So sometimes it really is true. I'm not making any bets about this case though.

 

Oh, and it's been 5 years now, and I've met several of the players RL. The others still continue to speculate, though. =/ Is it really THAT unbelievable???

[KikiW]

Yes it is. When people think of the stereotypical "GAMER", the image conjured up tyhe vast majority of the time is either an overweight, pasty man who is unlikely to have had extensive social experience with women, or a skinny, acne-prone, teenage boy who also is unlikely to have had extensive social experience with women.

 

Women are less likely to be tech-saavy, particularly in the eyes of gamers. Women gamers who are conventionally attractive are even more of a rarity. I've found that once it's discovered that a player IS actually a female (i.e. through voice programs), the quest then turns to discovering how hot she is. Women who pass those tests are then flirted with mercilessly until she's either sick of it or gets a boyfriend, although that is no guarantee.

 

And oh you can almost hear nearly every male achieving simultaneous orgasms upon the discovery of the gorgeous female asian gamer.

 

JMHO.

[Joyvke]

Because there's a lot of sick people out there that get a kick into abusing people mentally by pretending they're a female. That's why. With some guys I don't believe they're guys either when they act like a female.

 

Anyway, this girl just had too many things that don't make sense, and too many excuses, they're all different stories. So it's not the same thing she's sticking to.

 

Either way, I'm done worrying about someone who is so thick to believe in her lies.

[Els]

Women are less likely to be tech-saavy, particularly in the eyes of gamers.

 

Well, that's quite true. I once told a female friend of mine (she's born LATER than me, smack in the middle of the hi-tech era) about how I play this video game that requires 5 players to work together. She then asked me in all seriousness: 'What? All on one computer??' Fortunately I didn't mention any 40-man WoW raids to her....

 

 

the quest then turns to discovering how hot she is. Women who pass those tests are then flirted with mercilessly until she's either sick of it or gets a boyfriend, although that is no guarantee.

 

That sort of immaturity sometimes saddens me, although some take it to such great lengths that it actually becomes amusing. In some cybercafes that I've been in, I notice guys passing ingame comments to each other (e.g. Hottie sitting at PC103!) and everyone sneakily goes to take a look. Seriously? Are you THAT desperate?? Never seen a girl before???

 

And oh you can almost hear nearly every male achieving simultaneous orgasms upon the discovery of the gorgeous female asian gamer.

 

Indeed. Which is why, I suppose, they're so very suspicious of girls who have not PROVEN themselves to be girls -- what a horrible discovery to find out that they were orgasming over a guy! I found it very very sad, though, how so many of my 'friends' kept asking me to prove myself. PROVE myself? I never asked any of them to prove THEMselves to me -- never suspected that they were actually females or 60-year-old men in disguise. I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with any of them anyway, and I'd never asked for any special treatment by virtue of being female.

 

Of course, that doesn't pertain to this case since the guy WAS in a romantic relationship with the 'girl'. I'm just musing about the behaviour of guys towards women in games, in general.

[northstar1]

Well, that's quite true. I once told a female friend of mine (she's born LATER than me, smack in the middle of the hi-tech era) about how I play this video game that requires 5 players to work together. She then asked me in all seriousness: 'What? All on one computer??' Fortunately I didn't mention any 40-man WoW raids to her....

 

 

 

 

That sort of immaturity sometimes saddens me, although some take it to such great lengths that it actually becomes amusing. In some cybercafes that I've been in, I notice guys passing ingame comments to each other (e.g. Hottie sitting at PC103!) and everyone sneakily goes to take a look. Seriously? Are you THAT desperate?? Never seen a girl before???

 

 

 

Indeed. Which is why, I suppose, they're so very suspicious of girls who have not PROVEN themselves to be girls -- what a horrible discovery to find out that they were orgasming over a guy! I found it very very sad, though, how so many of my 'friends' kept asking me to prove myself. PROVE myself? I never asked any of them to prove THEMselves to me -- never suspected that they were actually females or 60-year-old men in disguise. I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with any of them anyway, and I'd never asked for any special treatment by virtue of being female.

 

Of course, that doesn't pertain to this case since the guy WAS in a romantic relationship with the 'girl'. I'm just musing about the behaviour of guys towards women in games, in general.

 

 

Well, imagine the same in some female dominated past time (knitting clubs etc), and suddenly a guy shows up. Ofcourse they will garner attention, especially if they are remotely attractive.

 

Look at Yoga - it is only in the past 10 years that you have seen more men going to it. In the past, classes were 90% women, so the lone wolf who showed up, particularly if he was attractive, was the center of attention.

 

Gaming is becoming more and more prevalent for girls, which is good

[AirlinePilot]

Tread with caution ...... something doesn't smell right with this.

 

Red flag!!

 

It sounds like this girl has serious mental issues. Why subject yourself to someone with problems??? That will just add to already existing problems and make you both miserable.

 

My advice.. meet someone in the real world.

[AirlinePilot]

Hello folks, once again, i know i seem very defensive and stubborn about all the skeptisism, i do value your opinions and take the responsibility for any hurt i might find myself in in the future.

 

One of the reasons i keep slamming my head against the wall is that after getting burned by a girl back when i was 17 i withdrew myself for 4-5 years. Something i really regret and i feel i missed alot. Since i got back to the 'finding a girlfriend' scene i have been burned and decieved a half a dozen times.

But i refuse to let go and later find out she was telling the truth all along and i threw away the chance of being with the girl of my dreams. It will be easier for me to live with holding on and finding out i have been decieved again. (I can then only blame myself for being gullible and blame her for decieving me , insted of blaming myself for letting go and not trying. Which is something that would haunt me for years to come.)

 

Today i talked to her about me feeling paranoid about her. And she understood it must be torture for me to only have a few pictures of her. I told her "There has to be SOME way for us to bypass or supress your fear so we can meet." to which she replied: "I certainly hope so. If not, ill just have to get over it and cope." (context: she means meeting me dispite her phobia and cope with the panic attack that will likely follow.)

 

We also talked about that male classmate thats one of the 5 thats coming to Paris aswell. She admitted she was attracted to him but she shot his advances down, telling him that she's reserved only for me, and since then he has kept a distance from her. She promised i had nothing to worry about and that she'd stick with me and our relationships even if she happens to fall in love with someone else. And i have seen her punish herself hard for breaking a promise. She knows that if she breaks this one she will be the one hurting the most. Ofcourse, all of this relies on (blind?) faith and trust in her honesty.

 

More importantly i have an idea for a plan to break out of this stalemate should she not be able / willing to do so on her own accord. I would like all of your insight on this:

In two weeks time she is moving to Paris for a year to work for a french firm and do a report for her uni. I was thinking about telling her later this week that if she has been unable to meet me by august i will tell her i am coming to Paris the following day and ill wait for her under the Eiffel tower. She will then be able to decide whether to meet me or not, ill only be about 15 minutes away from where she lives and works. I will also tell her that if she wants to booze up for 'dutch courage', take medication to give herself a temporary lobotimisation, or have a french SWAT team strip search me thats all cool and fine with me.....except body cavity searches..

 

I think with this idea she will be in control, the meeting will be public, she will only have to be brave for a short time yet she will not be able to 'stall' for months more. Ofcourse its very possible she will not show up, but i think its worth the attempt. It puts a bit more pressure on her but hopefully not too much.

 

What say you ?

 

You sound desperate...

 

Women don't like desperate men. If the woman does, there are issues with her.

 

In love from pictures and chatting online? No, I dont think so.

 

You said at 17 you messed up the chance to have the girl of your dreams. At 17, you dont know the first thing about life much less a relationship. Go to college, get a good job, then look for your soul mate.

 

You sound VERY desperate and that is NOT a good sign in any relationship.

 

It sounds, to me, that the OP AND the girl have some serious issues.