BoredPerson Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 LOL... :lmao: Why are men also single at 50? same thing for them ha? yes I agree those unreasonable standards can be a real b*tch... If I am single at 50 I will become a dirty old man who hangs around brothels and strip clubs. I'll get really drunk and tell young female bartenders about my miserable life. Actually that is my 30's in my 50's I'll probably be on board battle star galacticand I'll be a cylon with Jedi Powers who tells the humans that the end to their series is completely retarded and that they possibly shouldn't battle for survival across the galaxy only to defeat the cylons and commit ritual suicide. I'd advise they use their technology and remeber to print warning labels on future cyclons 'may destroy human society'. As I said I feel sympathy but feel the best action would be to accept the men for who they are.
OpenBook Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I have to question why a woman is single at 50.. Maybe she is paying for her past mistakes. No, she's just lucky.:bunny: I can only hope that she will set aside her dislike of men and her unreasonable standards so that she may find someone and be happy. Oh that's right, I forgot. It's impossible for a woman to be happy without a man. I'll just run right out and get me a man then. That'll solve EVERYTHING.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 If I am single at 50 I will become a dirty old man who hangs around brothels and strip clubs. I'll get really drunk and tell young female bartenders about my miserable life. Actually that is my 30's in my 50's I'll probably be on board battle star galacticand I'll be a cylon with Jedi Powers who tells the humans that the end to their series is completely retarded and that they possibly shouldn't battle for survival across the galaxy only to defeat the cylons and commit ritual suicide. I'd advise they use their technology and remeber to print warning labels on future cyclons 'may destroy human society'. As I said I feel sympathy but feel the best action would be to accept the men for who they are. Dude you watch way to much scifi lol... So what about the men accepting the women as they are? No, she's just lucky.:bunny: Oh that's right, I forgot. It's impossible for a woman to be happy without a man. I'll just run right out and get me a man then. That'll solve EVERYTHING. I'm glad you have seen the light! lol..
BoredPerson Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 No, she's just lucky.:bunny: Oh that's right, I forgot. It's impossible for a woman to be happy without a man. I'll just run right out and get me a man then. That'll solve EVERYTHING. Well that is okay, so long as you have remembered and may that knowledge be the key to your future happiness.
era Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Well that is okay, so long as you have remembered and may that knowledge be the key to your future happiness. WTF are you talking about?...
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 WTF are you talking about?... I don't think he knows yet lol...
BoredPerson Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I don't think he knows yet lol... Every man needs a woman and every woman needs a man. Men live shallow lives without women and women live shallow lives and don't have children. A man without children is sad enough, a woman without children is outright tragic. One of the if not the most important things in life is to have a family. What is the point of 150k per year if you can't knock up a hot chick ? The only reason it is not the most important thing is because you need other things to make having a family possible.
Lizzie60 Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Sounds like a well rounded great guy. lizzie I dont see a problem? Why cant you just be with one guy, do you get bored easily? Why would I settle for only one when I can have more.. Re-read my previous post... I loooove my freedom.. It's not like I've been single all my life.. quite the opposite actually... I've only enjoyed this freedom for the last 7 years.. 7 years out of a lifetime is nothing.. and I enjoy it sooo much that I have no plans to change.
grogster Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Because I'm in my early 50's and the vast majority of men who would lower themselves enough to date a woman of my age either have ex-wives, kids and are saddled with huge fiscal obligations to their former families or are struggling with their own aging parents needing nursing care or they're facing their own increasingly serious health problems. I'm not interested in having to pay a man's basic living expenses because his alimony/child support obligations are hefty, I'm not interested in providing any sort of care to his children or dealing with ex wife drama. I'm also not interested in providing nursing care or having to shoulder the bulk of daily living tasks because he's "too sick" to help. All relationships have costs.. I'm thinking that the costs of a relationship far outweigh the potential benefits offered for me. As a guy in his 50's, your depictions, while perhaps psychologically true (for you), are socially false. You paint with too broad a black brush. In the USA, among upper middle class professionals, there are many 50-somethings who lead healthy, happy and age appropriate erotic lives. Not all of us are enfeebled, baggage burdened, on death's door and hunting youngsters. Lighten up.
Nightwalker Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I don't date because my fear of rejection I can only overcome when I really really really like a girl. Basically I have to be in love.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Men live shallow lives without women and women live shallow lives and don't have children. A man without children is sad enough, a woman without children is outright tragic. One of the if not the most important things in life is to have a family. What is the point of 150k per year if you can't knock up a hot chick ? I think the most important thing is treating others with respect and helping your fellow man. I don't think a man or woman without children is sad or tragic at all. I think it's sad and tragic that a person would amoun their worth to this anyway. Seriously, there are too many people now-a-days anyway over populating the Earth and messing up Nature. I don't think God ever said "Go forth, make tons of money and bang a hot chick so she can take care of your screaming harpies for the rest of her days."
marlena Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Not all of us are enfeebled, baggage burdened, on death's door and hunting youngsters. No, of course not, but a good many are. I understand what soserious is talking about. Why would someone, especially a woman, give up her freedom, her stress-free life to be with a man who let's face it has a lot of baggage just as she does, of course. His health may not be ailing but surely it will start to disintegrate some time soon. He most definitely has old parents that need attention and more than likely children or grandchildren from previous marriages. Now, why would a financially independent women want to undertake all this responsibilty and drudgery I ask. Marriage I believe is far more beneficial to a man than it is to a woman. Why would a woman at this age after years of catering to other people's needs (husband, children) throw away her freedom, her peace of mind, her money even to do this all over again with someone she barely knows? Falling in love at this age is highly unlikely. It's not like they have a long history and have grown old together. Why would she want to sacrifice everything that she worked hard to earn just to repeat the same or even worse,more demanding cycle all over again? I say the best thing to do at this age is to have a lover to have sex with and do things with. No responsibilities, no demands, no nursing anyone.
grogster Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 No, of course not, but a good many are. I understand what soserious is talking about. Why would someone, especially a woman, give up her freedom, her stress-free life to be with a man who let's face it has a lot of baggage just as she does, of course. His health may not be ailing but surely it will start to disintegrate some time soon. He most definitely has old parents that need attention and more than likely children or grandchildren from previous marriages. Now, why would a financially independent women want to undertake all this responsibilty and drudgery I ask. Marriage I believe is far more beneficial to a man than it is to a woman. Why would a woman at this age after years of catering to other people's needs (husband, children) throw away her freedom, her peace of mind, her money even to do this all over again with someone she barely knows? Falling in love at this age is highly unlikely. It's not like they have a long history and have grown old together. Why would she want to sacrifice everything that she worked hard to earn just to repeat the same or even worse,more demanding cycle all over again? I say the best thing to do at this age is to have a lover to have sex with and do things with. No responsibilities, no demands, no nursing anyone. Good points, marlena: middle-aged friends with benefits hook-ups! Perhaps I shall begin "dating" again.
Trialbyfire Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 marlena, if the type of drudgery isn't what you want, why date men like that? It's your choice to allow yourself to be treated like a doormat or to find a man who's capable of an equal relationship.
Lizzie60 Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 No, of course not, but a good many are. I understand what soserious is talking about. Why would someone, especially a woman, give up her freedom, her stress-free life to be with a man who let's face it has a lot of baggage just as she does, of course. His health may not be ailing but surely it will start to disintegrate some time soon. He most definitely has old parents that need attention and more than likely children or grandchildren from previous marriages. Now, why would a financially independent women want to undertake all this responsibilty and drudgery I ask. Marriage I believe is far more beneficial to a man than it is to a woman. Why would a woman at this age after years of catering to other people's needs (husband, children) throw away her freedom, her peace of mind, her money even to do this all over again with someone she barely knows? Falling in love at this age is highly unlikely. It's not like they have a long history and have grown old together. Why would she want to sacrifice everything that she worked hard to earn just to repeat the same or even worse,more demanding cycle all over again? I say the best thing to do at this age is to have a lover to have sex with and do things with. No responsibilities, no demands, no nursing anyone. So well said.. I will 'pîn' this post.. I know what she's saying but I have problem with this: the vast majority of men who would lower themselves enough to date a woman of my age We are about the same age.. I think I'm even older.. and I sooo don't feel like that.. I, on the contrary, feel much better with myself than when I was younger...
Lizzie60 Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Good points, marlena: middle-aged friends with benefits hook-ups! Perhaps I shall begin "dating" again. Hey Grogs... let's start a 'Middle-aged-friend-with-benefits' dating site..
mental_traveller Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Marriage I believe is far more beneficial to a man than it is to a woman. You've got to be joking!
grogster Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Hey Grogs... let's start a 'Middle-aged-friend-with-benefits' dating site.. I'm on, Lizzie. An Adult Friend Finder for the middle-aged. We can call it BoomerLove.com, and market it to the needy post-marrieds. With your brains and beauty, and my fortune, we'll make a mint!
era Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 50 is not old. 50 is now the new 40... Falling in love at this age is highly unlikely. I disagree. I've known happy, healthy couples over the age of fifty, who got married. It actually warms my heart...to see that love can blossom at any age.
Trialbyfire Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 You've got to be joking! I have to agree with marlena on that aspect. If you're a financially independent woman, unless you've found someone who's capable of an equal relationship, giving up your freedom isn't worthwhile. It's far easier to find a dependent man, one who's looking to be "nurtured", than one who can stand alone but prioritizes his partner, as she prioritizes him in his life.
marlena Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 marlena, if the type of drudgery isn't what you want, why date men like that? It's your choice to allow yourself to be treated like a doormat or to find a man who's capable of an equal relationship. TBF, I feel I have come full circle. I have experienced marriage and cohabitation. I have also had children. Now that I know what it entails, I do not want any part of it again. I have grown deliciously selfish. I do what I want when I want if I want and I am not accountable to anyone. I do not want the responsibilites, the demands, the necessary compromises that come with living with someone. I am quite happy with my life, the way I have organized it and the way I live it. I have my job, my money,my friends, my lovers, my trips, my daughter and this is more than enough for me. I do not need a live-in partner to feel fulfilled or content. It may work for some people but not for me. This I know about myself very well. I want my time to be my own exclusively. I have deromanticized marriage. I know that it is hard work and I do not want to do it again. You see, I don't want to HAVE TO do anything for anyone anymore. I don't want to share my life with anyone. I want to hoard it for myself and myself only. Falling in love is easier when you are young because youth is by definition hopeful,romantic,driven by passion. Once you reach a certain age, you see life in all its stark reality and that fire in your loins that was once so easily lit ablaze becomes harder to ignite. Perhaps, this is as it should be. After all, aging is about renouncing the things of youth. I am not staying it can't happen, it can, just that the chances are slimmer probably because it is not all that important to you anymore. Actually, being 50 is liberating. And life is more exciting simply because you are finally free to live for yourself and yourself only. That in itself is full of possibilities.
marlena Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 Good points, marlena: middle-aged friends with benefits hook-ups! Perhaps I shall begin "dating" again. Absolutely the best hook-ups for the wild fifties crowd!!! Oh, and yes, definitely begin!! I have already. I went out on my first date in two years just a few weeks ago! The sleeping beast awakens, lol!!!!
grogster Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 That's great news, marlena! You're due. Good luck in the dating game. If you need any tips, we Shackers are here to misinform.
birdmadgirl Posted April 16, 2009 Posted April 16, 2009 I am actually going on a "date" tonight, if the gentleman in question manages not to sleep through his alarm again. If this does not pan out -- either because he flakes on me again or his intentions remain ambiguous (does he like me or are we just pals?) -- I am taking a break from dating for a while. I don't date often, and when I do, it's because I'm highly interested in the guy. In the past few years, though, nothing has materialized from any of these dates. Usually, not even a second date. Apparently, I am doing something that prevents me from sealing the deal, whether it's being interested in the wrong type of guy, communicating my interest rather than pretending to be aloof so that the guy feels he's chasing something (also known as The Rules, which I admittedly still have some difficulty following), or having naturally curly hair. So, until I figure out what it is I'm doing wrong, I think the prudent thing to do is focus on myself for a bit. I just don't like doing that, as a rule. It feels... weird to me.
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