peteyj Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I have no problems getting numbers or speaking to women wherever I'm at. Whether it's a club, bar, pub, street, train, elevator, sidewalk, grocery store, etc. I like talking to women and people in general most of the time. But I really don't seem to have a desire to want to actually go on a date that would lead anywhere. I really have no desire to get close to anybody at this point. I recently went through a divorce that was rough so getting close to anybody isn't really my top priority. Which means I'm not looking to actually start 'dating' anybody. So unless I'm going out with somebody who just wants a late night call once in a while or just to hang out to do something that leads nowhere, it's just not in the cards. There is one woman I met and then hung out with a couple of times over the past few months and we still talk now and again. I have opened up a little to her but we aren't dating and we really aren't friends at this point. Yeah I guess you can call us sort of friends but we don't talk that often or hang out ever to really be friend friends. I honestly have no clue what we are at this point or where it's leading. She did tell me she cared about me which I guess was good but at the same time was weird considering we barely know one another. I'd say out of all the females I've met she's probably somebody I would want to date, but again, I'm just not really in any mindset to want to actually start dating where it might lead to something. Most females I"ve met it's more about one nighters or just get a number and thats that. With this other female though, she's different in my opinion. She doesn't take my crap, which is good as she gives it right back to me, and she makes me want to do better things with my life. But still, I mean we barely know one another and she already cares about me for some reason. Maybe thats why I avoid dating...Scared of getting too close to somebody that I probably would like a lot.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 ...Yeah sex is easy for me, But dating is hard because some women my age seems to just play head games and I just cannot deal with it. and I'm not gonna chase any female who sniffs in my direction. I'd prefer the direct approach and being honest. I want to meet a woman who I have a genuine connection with, some one who does give a damn about me and wants to build something with me. I've had it with games and bullcrap.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Don't mind bored OP hes bitter at everything that has a vagina lol...
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Don't mind bored OP hes bitter at everything that has a vagina lol... ...I love vagina.
Nubemeister Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I haven't dated in a long while simply because I'm emotionally unavailable. I think about what I have to offer another person right now and frankly, there just isn't much right now. I think you have to be in a good place emotionally to expect a positive relationship to come about. The last thing anyone wants is a mountain load of baggage. I'm taking the time out to address these issues on my own terms, without dragging someone else along for the ride. When I feel I honestly have something to bring to the table again, then I guess I'll get back in the game. I agree with this, mind you its been awhile for me but atm Im just not there.
RonZilla Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I'm not dating anybody because girls are not attracted to me. As for why they are not attracted to me, it's a complicated process that I'm trying to figure out. I'm trying to chase a few girls but I'm not getting anywhere. Dont worry bro we're in the same boat LOL
Ruby Slippers Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I am choosing to be single right now because I am tired of investing my time and emotions into men who end up not being worth the effort. I am investing all my energy into ME right now. I know I'm worth the effort.
loser101 Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I've never actively dated as such. I just can't get my head around the idea of pursuing relationships so directly. I am quite social so I meet new people often and from time to time I meet men I click with. Sometimes we end up in a relationship, sometimes we don't. So I guess I enjoy the spontaneous approach but it means I go without SOs for quite a while at times.
BoredPerson Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Oh, really? And how do you know that I don't understand some of the same feelings of rejection that you do? Jpwever, unlike you, I differentiate between men who have different needs and wants. I simply object to the way that you suggest the men that you know are not good enough.
BoredPerson Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Don't mind bored OP hes bitter at everything that has a vagina lol... No I am a changed man I swear. It is not womans fault that she is beautiful and will not sleep with me as much as it is the fault of the men that are rooting them it just is. I promise not to be angry at everything because of all the other things that are wrong with my life or more to the point are not good enough. Like why aren't I the best and why aren't I rich ? For example. But.. Women like the OP... women who complain about being single yet decide no one is good enough for her need to be told the truth about what they're doing. The only time you can reject someone when you are desperately single is if they are physically unattractive, overweight or unemployed. Beyond that you should give him a chance.
Stockalone Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I tend to divide singles on LS into two categories: those who are dating, and those who are not. For those in the latter category, why? There are various reasons. When I first stopped dating, I was disillusioned with dating and love and I needed a break from it. I never dated much to begin with and honestly, I don't like dating very much. I had also never really gotten over my first failed relationship. So it was very easy to go back to not dating again and it also seemed like a logical choice. I just figured I am not good at dating, so why try to force the issue? As time went by, I got more and more set in my ways. I am pretty much a loner and in my daily life and hobbies, I don't come across many women. The only time I dated was back in college. And now, I don't pass my own test anymore: "Would I want my sister to date a guy like me?" The answer has been no for a couple of years now. So I don't ask out women. I would have to change a lot of things before I can think about dating again.
frustr8ed Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I work nights, usually four to midnight. Women in my age range (28-40) seem to have disappeared from my area. I have concluded that the younger women I know suffer from the crazies, so they're out. I hardly drink and don't really like hanging out in bars, it's just not my type of place. I know what I like in a woman, but what I like isn't the norm, so naturally they are harder to find. I am a stand up guy and a good catch, and I won't settle for less when it comes to myself.
westernxer Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I don't mind dating, but I can't stand drama and refuse to suffer with someone who doesn't rock my world, even for the sake of appearances (like a family gathering or weekend movie). I'd rather go alone. I'm much more tolerant when someone rocks my world, but I don't think I'm compatible with too many women nor they with me. Or maybe it's all in my head. LOL
Cherished Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I'm taking a break from dating for a little while....everything is going well in my life and I'm just taking a breather.
Author Isolde Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 Thanks for your honest answers everyone. I'm seeing several main patterns here: People on a self-imposed breakPeople who have been disillusioned and don't believe they'll find what they want through datingPeople who are in love with someone else and therefore EUPeople who lack confidencePeople who lack opportunitiesI'm convinced that dating as such isn't necessary to find a relationship, but I'm trying to stay open to it.
Author Isolde Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 Women like the OP... women who complain about being single yet decide no one is good enough for her need to be told the truth about what they're doing. Please leave me out of your rants. You know nothing about my situation or other women's situations on this board.
LoveLace Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I don't choose to not be dating. I think I am supposed to be dating, frequently. But I'm a walking disaster in this world. I fail over and over, and the occurrence of someone I actually LIKE asking me out on a date, happens maybe once a year, if I'm lucky. I think I"m only remotely attractive sometimes. I'm pretty cute but I certainly don't make heads turn when I walk into a room full of other pretty gals. It's a mixture of too much rejection and me not able to return interest. It seems most of the only men to be vocal and compliment me are men old enough to be my father. No thanks.
loser101 Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I'm convinced that dating as such isn't necessary to find a relationship, but I'm trying to stay open to it. I just find the idea of talking to hoards men for years and years for the sole purpose of finding a husband soul-destroying and very very sad. This is what dating - especially multidating - is about. Its like testdriving cars. Cant imagine anything worse
Funkymonkey Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I got tired of one night stands and meaningless hookups. Never had a relationship so I tried, did not turn out well. Simply when I get hooked onto some girl I come off desperate and needy. I figure that I need some time to figure out my priorites at the moment since I put having a girlfriend up there as one of the tops, and hopefully the whole dating thing will come along.
BoredPerson Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Please leave me out of your rants. You know nothing about my situation or other women's situations on this board. Ok I won't rant. I think a lot of women approaching their 30's have an attitude problem. They're too demanding and should have settled with someone decent in their mid 20's rather than being picky. Women in their 20's have the crazies and refuse to do the above. Therefore in their 30's they have trouble finding men. That is your problem it is more than obvious without knowing anything about you.
Trialbyfire Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Isolde, if Bored is any example of the guys out there, no wonder you don't want to date! I'd hit a nunnery or turn lesbian first!
BoredPerson Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Isolde, if Bored is any example of the guys out there, no wonder you don't want to date! I'd hit a nunnery or turn lesbian first! That is not very nice. I have to ask that with your high powered career and your 30,000 posts how do you find the time to date ? Aren't you married. Why aren't you married ? Surely an attractive woman with a luctrative career would be married by now. To be honest I think most would turn lesbian or hit a nunnery before they'd date me. Sad, but true. I don't understand why you won't see things from a different perspective. Women are very picky and being a good person is just not enough. So naturally good people will start to reject that part of themselves and become something else. I know I did, now that is a little bit deep don't you think ? That maybe you could try and have some understanding that the women might be doing something that does not help the situation. When all of these men are bending and twisting to fit a womans needs and things are still not working. Am I really such a bad guy for asking these questions and for not assuming as everyone else that women are perfect little divas ? If you are a single, attractive, career minded woman in your 30's isn't it about time YOU asked YOURSELF why YOU are SINGLE ?
BoredPerson Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Bored TBF is very happily engaged. But the OP ? Apparently she is too good for all of the men who are nice enough to stay in her life. What is she waiting for ? Brad Pitt ? Or Mr. Big from sex and the city to come take her out for cosmos ? Perhaps a dot com millionare ! Or a man who saves dolphins while feeding African orphans. I can understand not dating an unemployed man or someone who cannot support himself... but ... you know. Please be less picky and more mating.
CommitmentPhobe Posted April 13, 2009 Posted April 13, 2009 Thanks for your honest answers everyone. I'm seeing several main patterns here: People on a self-imposed breakPeople who have been disillusioned and don't believe they'll find what they want through datingPeople who are in love with someone else and therefore EUPeople who lack confidencePeople who lack opportunities I'm convinced that dating as such isn't necessary to find a relationship, but I'm trying to stay open to it. Where would I fit into your list? People that are probably going to be in another part of the world in the near future so find it pointless to enter into something long term?
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