Isolde Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I tend to divide singles on LS into two categories: those who are dating, and those who are not. For those in the latter category, why? I just think this is interesting, in light of various posters who either want to start dating and don't know quite how, or who don't want to be dating. I'm not because I literally haven't been asked out on any dates and know zero single people in my current network that I would be interested in going on a date with. Furthermore, I'm too shy to ask guys out or really initiate conversations with them, mostly just because there aren't a lot of single people in my area. Though I would not be interested in going on three dates a week (I'm far too busy!) I find this drought rather discouraging, if only because it makes me feel I'm not doing enough to meet people.
mental_traveller Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Whenever I didn't date, it was because I just didn't feel like it. Sometimes, especially after a breakup, you don't want to deal with romance or anything close to it. So just being by yourself and with friends is best. The dating world is a warzone, not a place for the freshly-wounded.
Sibyl Vane Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I don't feel like putting in the effort for something that will more than likely result in nothing. Not right now anyway. Not to mention anyone that is an option for me, I have no interest in at all. I think it will be quite some time before I change my mind but I'm honestly fine with it. For now.
Author Isolde Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 That's how I used to think Sibyl, but I don't really think that's true. On the other hand, if you want to take a break that's O.K.
monkey00 Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 How about the quote "happiness comes when you're not looking for it." I think for me I just have my ups and downs in dating
neowulf Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I haven't dated in a long while simply because I'm emotionally unavailable. I think about what I have to offer another person right now and frankly, there just isn't much right now. I think you have to be in a good place emotionally to expect a positive relationship to come about. The last thing anyone wants is a mountain load of baggage. I'm taking the time out to address these issues on my own terms, without dragging someone else along for the ride. When I feel I honestly have something to bring to the table again, then I guess I'll get back in the game.
somedude81 Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 For those of you who aren't dating, why? I'm not dating anybody because girls are not attracted to me. As for why they are not attracted to me, it's a complicated process that I'm trying to figure out. I'm trying to chase a few girls but I'm not getting anywhere.
NINEBREAKER Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 i'm not dating because i stopped looking. when i find someone interesting that comes to me i'll see what developes. also i have some things i need to deal with on my own and would rather not have a woman in my life. that would make things complicated. so tell me more about your love life since it seems to be not so great. then tell me bout your self. it might help the others at this forum help you with your problems. be honest things work better that way
adam g Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 fear of rejection and failure that keeps me from succeeding at dating and pretty much life in general.
jimbo Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I am just a failure at dating. Wish it did not take so long to realize this. Would had saved a lot of money and time if I realized this earlier. Having a significant other is a luxury not a necessity.
alphamale Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 i've never had any problem meeting girls or getting phones numbers...what is hard is finding someone that you have mutual interest with.
NINEBREAKER Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 i've never had any problem meeting girls or getting phones numbers...what is hard is finding someone that you have mutual interest with. thats my problem. that and most of the girl that hit on me are not legal. most girls around my age dont particularly care for me. young ones seem to come out anf flirt all the time. dont quite get why. i dont flirt back. sometimes i'll buy jordan (15) a soda but she dont flirt she asks for advice.
BoredPerson Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I tend to divide singles on LS into two categories: those who are dating, and those who are not. For those in the latter category, why? I just think this is interesting, in light of various posters who either want to start dating and don't know quite how, or who don't want to be dating. I'm not because I literally haven't been asked out on any dates and know zero single people in my current network that I would be interested in going on a date with. Furthermore, I'm too shy to ask guys out or really initiate conversations with them, mostly just because there aren't a lot of single people in my area. Though I would not be interested in going on three dates a week (I'm far too busy!) I find this drought rather discouraging, if only because it makes me feel I'm not doing enough to meet people. The reason I am single is that women like you won't date me. Women like you consider me to be one of those men that they wouldn't consider dating. The reason is that they're spoiled and are never happy with what a man does for them.
Author Isolde Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 The reason I am single is that women like you won't date me. Women like you consider me to be one of those men that they wouldn't consider dating. The reason is that they're spoiled and are never happy with what a man does for them. Oh, really? And how do you know that I don't understand some of the same feelings of rejection that you do? Jpwever, unlike you, I differentiate between men who have different needs and wants.
NINEBREAKER Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 The reason I am single is that women like you won't date me. Women like you consider me to be one of those men that they wouldn't consider dating. The reason is that they're spoiled and are never happy with what a man does for them. woah harsh hmmm sounds like my x girlfreind...well actually all of them. aside from chelsey she was nice and never gave me bull
Author Isolde Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 Oh, really? And how do you know that I don't understand some of the same feelings of rejection that you do? Jpwever, unlike you, I differentiate between men who have different needs and wants. I realize that I'm probably compatible with relatively few men, and meanwhile I try to appreciate that those who don't want to date me are doing me a favor by recognizing the incompatibility early on.
Author Isolde Posted April 12, 2009 Author Posted April 12, 2009 Non-daters, keep the answers coming! This is giving me a sense of better understanding of why you all are on LS.
NINEBREAKER Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Non-daters, keep the answers coming! This is giving me a sense of better understanding of why you all are on LS. dont worry about the haters. some people go over the edge with their judgements
zhsoj Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 Well... I'm pretty new to it in general (late bloomer) but I guess my general shyness has a lot to do with it. I don't go out much as my friends are like me for the most part. My hobbies also don't tend to be very social, even though they get me outside and all. I also work in a very small office so I don't meet a whole lot of people. I've also recently learned that I'm not very well suited to short term stuff and I now know that I'll likely need to move in a few months. So I don't think I'm going to put any effort into it for awhile. Not exactly what I'd like to do, but that's how it is.
7117 Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I would say the reason I stopped trying to date girls is because I let a couple bad apples in the bunch ruin it for me.My confidence is way down because the the last 3 girls I dated ran back to there ex boyfriends so I looked at myself as not being good enough.I was putting in most of the effort to make it work and got played basically so im really gun shy as of late.When I put the effort in to walk up to a girl and talk and ask her out im solid but lately im like nah im just gonna sit here with my buddies and drink or watch the game.I really want to get back into it but at the same time I find myself second guessing the whole thing.
BobSacamento Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I'm saving up for a good one But seriously I'm always looking. On a side note I was thinking today of the perils of being a single woman and find it somewhat tragic. Men like to complain about having to ask women out and be rejected. Which is horrible and all in the moment. But to have to wait for someone to ask me out? That is far more of a nightmare to me. I guess I like to control my own fate. Not that women can't ask a man out, it's just that the majority don't like to.
spookie Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I don't think I have ever actually "dated". The concept sort of creeps me out. Maybe that's why I never get asked out, either. Or maybe I think that I never get asked out because whenever I do, I always reword the invitations to make it a friends-thing, which invariably leads to my befriending guys who have ulterior motives, who start to resent me after I hook up with their barely-legal friends. I'm not dating because I'm in love with my boss.
NINEBREAKER Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I don't think I have ever actually "dated". The concept sort of creeps me out. Maybe that's why I never get asked out, either. Or maybe I think that I never get asked out because whenever I do, I always reword the invitations to make it a friends-thing, which invariably leads to my befriending guys who have ulterior motives, who start to resent me after I hook up with their barely-legal friends. I'm not dating because I'm in love with my boss. in love with your boss lol. i once wanted to date my citizens and government teacher. she was fiiiinne. but if i ever did get to date her it would be weird. she was like 6 foot all 25 years old. while i'm barley 5 and 18(i was 15 when i met her)
marlena Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 I needed a hiatus from all the stress and confusion and time to regroup. I was emotionally drained after a series of tumultous events in my life and needed the alone time to regain my strength and find some peace of mind. This lasted for almost two years.
RecordProducer Posted April 12, 2009 Posted April 12, 2009 1. I am still in love with hubby. 2. I don't feel like dating. It takes effort, money, time, and nerves. 3. My law school is starting in four months and I absolutely don't want to waste my time on some creep instead of focusing on my studies and my children.
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