confused05 Posted April 6, 2009 Posted April 6, 2009 Hello All im very sad and was just looking for any advice or incite to what might be going on in my life. I am very sad and lonely right now. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 5 years she is 30 now and I will be shortly im 29. The first year of our relationship was a little rough on me her ex use to appear here and there and It would hurt me dearly she really didnt see the issue. After a while she truly told him to get lost as friends and started making us better. For that first year though it was rough and I worked through it cause I felt she was worth it.. Fast fwd the next 1.5 years or so were great we moved into a apt together and stuff was good. At around 28ish 3 years in she was starting to want kids get married etc which I want as well. Me being a person concerned about doing stuff when the time was right I wanted to be able to buy here the ring she wanted and have a house. So when we have kids I will have enough money not to stress. In the last year I have also developed a little traveling anxiety no clue why so here bday came and she wanted to goto NYC and I made up an excuse which she took as me being lazy and she feels I have been very lazy but the only reason I didnt tell her the truth is cause shes not easy to talk to about stuff like that she would of said I have anxiety too you cant let it run your life. I have also become a little selfish some of it is just the anxiety so i didnt wanna do things she wanted to do cause of it but on the inside i was like damn i really want to do this for her. Fast fwd till current. Shes done everything right for the most part made lots of changes done alot around the house and helps where she can. The problem she has is she yells she has no problem if i push her buttons to make a scene or make a big deal over nothing. I provoke this sometimes but not all the time. Im not a yeller at all but I guess my way of countering that which is not good I know is to put her down or tell her to stop acting like white trash. Or ill say then leave " MY HOUSE " since i bought our house with my cash. Well we go out here and there to a bar and have a few beers and have a blast but sometiems friends will buy me shots and instead of saying know ill do a few too many ( im in no way an alcoholic i barely drink ) When this happens sometimes we will get into a fight over nothing usually and I say mean stuff. She now is saying i dont know why this stuff comes out or what i did and the only thing i can think of is that if shes mean to me when Ive had a few to drink I just let it out im not sure. Well this happened about 3 months ago and I apologized and she said then im moving out but never did, She has told me shes tired of me dangling this house over her head etc etc. So last weekend I drank a little much and I told her to leave get out and showed her the door. An hour later I realized what has happened and called her to come home which she did. The next day she said I haven't been happy lately cause you have been lazy and selfish ( partially the anxiety she didnt know about ) partially me being selfish. I would come home and go right into my computer room and play on the computer instead of watching tv with her and stuff like that. Since she told me she was moving out I have poured my heart out saying I have been miserable all week long, You have never really put your foot down like this before and I truly am sorry for what I did and how I have been. I told her everything about the anxiety and the real reasons I haven't wanted to do certain things that it wasn't cause I was lazy. I told her that I got comfortable and didn't even realize some of the things I was doing wrong to you. I told her I will promise to never call you names again, Never put money in front of anything and that I would love to finally take the next step put our money together into the same bank account and buy that RING you want I finally have the money and we have our house. I said this week has given me time to truly think about everything I have done wrong ( neither of us cheated just got comfortable ) and that I am ready to give you the life you want. She told me if she could for-see the future and be guaranteed she would have no problem but she cant be guaranteed anything. She said she just wants to go back home for a few to evaluate our relationship. She knows I am dead serious and she knows I already bought the ring she wants. I told her I took a chance and will prove to you that I can be the man you knew and know. She was a little mad i never told her about the anxiety cause she wouldn't of thought I was lazy. She wants kids and to be married asap and I do too I just took a little while to get my self established. She got pregnant when we were first dating and had an Ectopic so they removed a tube. The DR said she has to have kids by 30-33 to be safe. She just turned 30. Other than the recent laziness and petty arguments we love each other dearly she said she just needs a break as shes not happy and hasnt been 100% happy for the last 6 months or so. What do you guys think? This was not an argumentative break up we talked and I admitted all my faults and told her it sux that it took this to really realize the stuff i took for granted but I now realize and I am glad it came out now before we move fwd someday hopefully. She is sad she said she loves me very much that I just hurt her I told her this will never happen again if I could just get one last chance I would make her proud to have me by her side again but she said I just need a little bit of space for a while. I told her I was hurt by her alot early on but when she came to me and poured her heart out apologizing etc and to give her a chance I did and now she wont give me one last chance ( she has given me one just not a second ) I have given her many chances as I love her to death. I truly realize my mistakes and I know its not hard to fix on my part. She knows if she does come back that I have her ring and want to do the right thing and talk about anything that is on my mind and not treat her the way I have, She told me through a text everything is fixable. Any help or incite would be greatly appreciative.
bkaz01 Posted April 7, 2009 Posted April 7, 2009 never do it read my last post its what happens it hurts so bad and now she runnin around ok and im left in the dust hirting...someone will get hurt in the end... i need some help as well folks please read its kinda the same situation except im on the other side i still dont feel better [COLOR=#660000]http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t183681/[/COLOR]
Author confused05 Posted April 8, 2009 Author Posted April 8, 2009 If anyone else has any suggestions or thoughts I would love to hear them. Thanks,
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