Anyone ended friendship with ex who knows you better than anyone?

[Ruby Slippers]

Of course I'm self-absorbed right now. I'm taking a single year.

 

I get it, jack. I am the exact same woman who left you in the dust! And I'm sure you were an innocent angel who did nothing wrong, just like my perfect ex.

 

I suggest you take it up with her, not me.

[Trialbyfire]

Ruby, I am in no way questioning your sincerity, nor the emotional "withdrawal", you are experiencing. I also am not questioning your honesty with him. I do however, think that you are somewhat self-absorbed. I fear that one day you will stop and realize that in your quest for fulfillment, you will have lost sight of the "better angels," of your nature. To abandon a friend is a hard, cruel thing, be careful that it doesn't make you a hard, cruel person. Best Wishes

boldjack, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Don't you think the two have experienced enough hurt?

 

His family situation isn't going to change. Sure, he backed her but with too little, too late. Let's play this out for a lifetime of this. Do you think that the dynamics makes for a happy long-term relationship, where he's being pushed and pulled from two directions?

 

Take a look at them a month ago. Neither able to let each other go but unable to be together.

 

Try to be more human in your judgement of a no-win situation.

[D-Lish]

Ruby, you did the right thing by leaving this guy. I married a guy that had a controlling family. His mother was unrelenting from the very beginning. She was so obsessed with her son, it was like she was his stalker. I couldn't even begin to go over every crazy thing she did.

 

My ex never fully stood up to his mother- when in her presence he morphed into a beaten dog. She hated me from the moment I walked in the door because I was a threat to her son's love. That is what prevented us from ever having a peaceful relationship. We were never at peace, never free from that looming antagonist.

 

I only illustrated the aforementioned because things won't change.

He can be the most wonderful man in the world- but if he can't stand up for you to his own family.... Things never would have worked.

 

No, you can't be friends with someone you've been that close to. Not now anyway. Not until you don't have those longing feelings for one another.

 

I am friends with my ex-husband, and guess what? His new wife (the one he knocked up while with me).... won't go near his mother either.

 

You can't lean on each other through your own break up- I went that route! You're so close to someone and so used to having them there- that you remain entangled through the break up. It will make you feel worse, and it will keep you in limbo if you keep talking to him.

 

You know- it's sad. You meet someone you are that comfortable with, that compatible with... and they allow their family to destroy that.

 

Anyway- supporting you completely. I hope things work out with this new guy!

[boldjack]

Ruby, No woman ever "left me in the dust". Why? Because I treat my friends better than you do.

[boldjack]

Sorry I tried to get you to see another point of view.

[Ruby Slippers]

Thank you, TBF and D-Lish, and everyone who understands.

 

His family situation isn't going to change. Sure, he backed her but with too little, too late. Let's play this out for a lifetime of this. Do you think that the dynamics makes for a happy long-term relationship, where he's being pushed and pulled from two directions?

 

Take a look at them a month ago. Neither able to let each other go but unable to be together.

 

Try to be more human in your judgement of a no-win situation.

Yes yes yes.

 

You know- it's sad. You meet someone you are that comfortable with, that compatible with... and they allow their family to destroy that.

And how awful of the family. I think they were very much a case of misery loves company. They were all deeply unhappy and couldn't stand to see him happy.

 

D-Lish, there's no new guy -- I'm halfway through a single year. And part of that is letting go of all this stuff so I can move forward into the future. It's scary and sad, but I know it's going to be good for me in the long run.

 

I do appreciate your understanding. This whole situation was so sad and difficult, and I stretched myself to the limit of what I could take in trying to make it work. I think we both did. And that still wasn't enough. It's really sad, but sometimes that's just the way life goes.