Jdancer21 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 There's alot going on in my mind right now with this situation, so I will try to shorten this the best I know how to. Around January, once i had made up my mind that I was going to focus on my career and not a man, my best friend who is like a sister to me sent me a text about how she was going out to dinner with this guy and he's single and asked if I wanted to meet him. Figuring out that this person who was interested in me could only have been so attractive, I figured why not go and have fun with a friend and meet someone new. So I went. It was a nice time and we had the oppurtunity to talk some by ourselves. Well he sends me a message on facebook, saying he wanted to get to know me more. We basically went out to dinner and I already made my mind up that he just didn't fit the bill. At the end of dinner he told me that he thought I was attractive and he would like to be friends and who knew what could happen. Normally, I would've written this guy off and went on about my buisiness, but something about him just won't. These are where factors come in. Because of my rather...eccentric and complex personality. I have been told on more than one occasion that I was going to end up dating someone that was a friend because most men aren't willing to take the time to actually.. get to know someone as " different " than me. Also, with other men that I have talked to i've either gotten "You're hot , but you're not my type" or "You're very attractive, but we just aren't compatible" or "I'd date you, but i'm currently seeing someone" . Considering I get extremely mixed reviews about my looks. With this guy (let's call him George) I feel like he's someone that could like me for my quirks, for the drama queen that I am. He's the kind of guy that is secure enough in him to let me be everything that I want to be....the problem is... I don't feel the same way about him. It's the fact that he is not necessarily the person I would've chosen just by looking at him alone. He's not unfortunate by any means but he just doesn't do it for me. Infact, just from the little time that we've met, the only flaw is that i'm not attracted to him physically, although I know looks are not going to last forever. It's things like when he says " You are going to bless a lucky man one day. I hope to be the blessed individual" that get me wondering "Is this as good as am I going to get" ](*,) Maybe i'm so frustrated with the BS that i've experienced with other guys that he becomes more attractrive, not because he is drop dead gorgeous but I know that I know he's going to treat me like royalty. (at the end of the day, that's what we want) I'm 23, on my way to Graduate school , on my way to build a career. I have friends, i'm enjoying life, i'm excercising more and eating right and taking care of myself. There are times when I wonder if I even want a relationship at this time in my life. The only reason why I feel so pressured to find someone is because i've been so busy listening to people who say "you shouldn't work so hard, get out there while you can and get what you can" I honestly feel like the kind of person that can be ok with spending a friday night at home reading and listening to music or spending a saturday night in a practice room. I don't see myself putting out with random guys nor do I see myself necesarilly settling down........ :Shrugs: at this point in my life i've come to the conclusion that if it's right for me, it'll happen at the right time
xpaperxcutx Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 First of all, you're letting others opinions validate the kind of relationships you should be in. You should not let others dictate how a relationship should be because then you will be settling for something you may not have wanted in the first place. Second, don't let your previous relationships with men hinder you from pursuing a new one, because like you've said, it's frustrating can hinder you from pursuing a relationship that could turn out meaningful in the long term. Therefore, follow your gut instincts. If you don't feel chemistry with any one person, don't force yourself to be them. You're 23, there's still years ahead of you to settle down. Others who tell you not to work so hard and find someone, are only projecting their own relationship frustrations onto you.
Recommended Posts