trae0809 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I've been a lurker on these boards for a while, and I figure it's time to post some stuff about my relationship and see what you all think. I have been with my girlfriend for two and a half years. Most of the time I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and then there's other times where I seriously wonder why I'm with her. Here's the deal. I rarely have a bad day. I am the eternal optimist, and while I may have unrealistic thoughts at times, I feel that it keeps me looking forward. I'm a huge people person, normally the loudest person in a room full of people, and I don't have an enemy in the world. I need to paint this picture not because I'm perfect (believe me, I'm not even close to perfect), but because it's very relevant. My girlfriend, while we have a lot in common, are also very, very different people. She's a lot quieter than me, definitely a shy person, and is the exact definition of a pessimist (or a realist as they call themselves, hehe). Okay, so now that you have our personalities, here's the problem. She has a short fuse. I mean a seriously short fuse. People have known me for many years and have never seen me upset, so to be around someone that has such an attitude problem bugs the hell outta me. She claims that her attitude has nothing to do with me, and that's just how she is, but I hate attitudes and someone that is a self-titled bitch (again, that's her title for herself, I would never call her that). What in the world do I do? I know that this is a quick post on the web, so it's tough to really express how serious this is, but this attitude is such a big issue for me that it causes me to want to leave her when she's extremely pissy for what I perceive to be a very weak reason. I've looked at myself. Believe me, I really, really look hard at myself to try and figure out if there's something that I can be doing differently, and I don't know what it is! I talk to her about how this is affecting our relationship, and she gets super defensive and it turns into a stupid argument. I just don't understand why people have to be mad at the one person that has their back no matter what. Alright - so that's pretty much it. I can give more detail, but this went on long enough. So any advice is good advice. Thanks all
sunny20 Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 I'm sure you have already tried talking to her about it....my fiance always calls me out when I act bitchy and in turn I call him out if he is being an ass. Usually, we didn't realize we were doing it and we apologize. Buuuttt....it sounds like she is almost proud of herself for being that way if she is a self-titled bitch. I think it's up to you how big of a problem this is. If you feel like you can talk to her and it will get better then that is awesome. If not then you need to evaluate if you can stay with her even though she insists on having an attitude. I guess just try talking to her first is the best advice I can give...be REALLY honest too...she needs to know just how important this issue is to you if the relationship is going to work.
era Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Most of the time I want to spend the rest of my life with her So you do share some really great times together, right? She might be suffering from Bipolar Disorder. During a manic episode, people can experience an irritable, angry, aggressive mood. During a depressive episode, people can experience low, hopeless, moods with sadness. Only a professional would be able to correctly diagnose if that is the case, though. To me, she sounds like she is suffering from some kind of mood disorder...just saying.
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