I HATE being unattractive !!!

[collegekid491]

What you do for a living should have little bearing on your interest in girls, unless you're a jigolo. For what its worth, what you do for a living shouldn't even be their concern. Women are attracted to guys who don't work and spend their time drinking to guys whom are at the peak of their career...

 

This

 

It bottlenecks yourself, love life and work should never intersect... unless thats part of the game lol.

 

But honestly, your not even complaining about getting girls, you admit you do, you are just crying over not having a smoking hot girl. If all you want is sex with a hot chick a)go to a bar b)head down the midnight strip. Stop classifying girls by their looks, you should know better if some girls do it to you.

 

P.S. I doubt anyone here is Omish (sp: Amish), but I'm a Mennonite

[BoredPerson]

I've noticed you've mentioned career quite a bit throughout your posts and that you've made some kind of connection between women and career.

 

I challenge you to break that association. You should take pride in whatever it is that you do and work at your trade, but separate that from your desire to meet women since you are meeting them when you aren't at work - I assume unless you're a bartender?

 

Do women in the UK put more importance on a man's career?

 

I've also noticed that you called yourself a douche bag. Look at your life over the last 3 years - what have you done that supports or opposes how you've identified yourself?

 

Not just career, but other achievments. Successes, failures, lessons learned.

 

Another thing to understand is that when you meet a woman on the spot, she cannot possibly process everything about you - if she doesn't even know who you are. This is why stepka suggested that you change your tactic - get to know the person.

 

And if you have been a bored person for the past 3 years, then everything that Lucky555 has suggested would make you an interesting person

 

Best of luck!

 

Some do but it is also a matter of being 'goal orientated' and you can draw self esteem from your job. I'm working in a professional environment but I have only just started learning. I am the youngest person in my department and I am 25.

 

That is beside the point I am a douchebag.

 

Getting to know the person is basically what I try and do. It doesn't work because they end up rejecting me because there is 'no spark' or something. Lately I don't even get that.

 

Last date I went on the girl caught the train home...

 

I don't see why any of these girls would be interested in me I think it is laughable and it sucks.

[BoredPerson]

A lot of women think they're better than you if you don't have a good enough career... they want someone who they percieve is higher up or equal to where they are. The perception is not always reality.

[IcemanJB]

If you don't mind answering: what is your job title? Where are you from? What is your salary range? Honestly unless it's ridiculously low, this is not even an issue.

 

Apparently you're hell bent on looks and job title being the only thing that attracts women. Some superficial women are like this; most are not.

 

You've admitted that it doesn't matter what you do for a living, that women "seem to hate" you - so stop referring back to it! Obviously that isn't the problem. You can't change what you look like either, but you can take care of what you have.

 

Also, what are you hobbies?

[You'reasian]

A lot of women think they're better than you if you don't have a good enough career... they want someone who they percieve is higher up or equal to where they are. The perception is not always reality.

 

I've dated independent women who have had awesome careers and its never been an issue. I'm straight forward about it.

[samspade]

Confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac, my friend. You are only unattractive because you believe it to be so. Right now, the way you're talking, I agree: You are unattractive. You need to adjust your attitude, and start loving yourself, or no one else will.

[carhill]

We really need to start a "who's the ugliest male LS'er thread" with pictures. Bet the OP loses

 

Hey, are things working better now?

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2043733

 

Being happy with your sexual self, even if you're not in a relationship, is part of being confident.

 

Beyond that, just connect with women in a way which is natural for you and play the numbers game. The more you meet, the more likely you'll meet one with whom you connect romantically, emotionally and sexually. It happens all the time

[stepka]

Are you omish ? As intelligent as me ? So she can drool and eat..

What? Omish? Amish? What does that have to do with anything? I'm anabaptist actually so you're not far off, but what does it have to do with anything I said? I think the problem is your personality.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I went out to see some bands with a friend. They were metal bands and there were so many hot girls !

 

I hate life sometimes. Because I will never be able to have sex with any of them. They're so nice and sexy and friendly but I'll never get them because I am an ugly person !

 

I'm so low on the attractiveness scale the only women I can get are so unattractive you wouldn't WANT to have sex with them

 

I thought having a good career would help, well it doesn't ! They don't care. Maybe if I have lots of money ?

 

This sucks. I don't even need to have a hot one just one that is attractive.

 

Hate @ being unattractive.

Shallowness in itself is unatractive...

[MeaganRaye]

I can't feel sorry for an unattractive male because you have it so much easier than women.

 

I had two male friends who were obese(300-400lbs), balding, and one was unemployed, and they felt very entitled to some of the most attracive women in our city. They even made friends with a lot of them. I'm not sure if they dated them but they used their charm to be friends with them. I don't know what I'm getting at but I run across alot of men who are like this and some have no problem in the dating department

 

Now, if they were women they would never even be able to make friends with a hot guy.

[samspade]

I had two male friends who were obese(300-400lbs), balding, and one was unemployed, and they felt very entitled to some of the most attracive women in our city. They even made friends with a lot of them. I'm not sure if they dated them but they used their charm to be friends with them. I don't know what I'm getting at but I run across alot of men who are like this and some have no problem in the dating department

 

I agree with you there. Men put much more stock in physical traits than women. A lot of men don't realize that it matters less how they look than how they act. So when a man complains about being unattractive, even if he is physically, he is compounding the problem by being an insecure loser about it.

 

The world is rife with homely men who have no problem getting laid. Look at Steven Tyler or Henry Kissinger. "But they're famous," some people argue. True, but I have to pick people we all know, and besides, their celebrity is a byproduct of their AMBITION and CONFIDENCE, two traits women love.

 

(On the other hand, I as a man would probably not drool over a physically unattractive female celebrity. That's just the way it is.)

[loveslife]

Let me get this straight. You feel you're unattractive physically but refuse to date women unless they're attractive?

 

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe if you didn't judge yourself against some media-defined unattainable image you might start noticing the beauty is some of these "hideous" available women.

 

Maybe if you got to like yourself "warts and all" you'd project a better image yourself.

 

I think the problem is not on the outside. Sorry.

[JohnnyBlaze]

Girls have this amazing capacity to surprise. They see things in us that we can't see for trying. Example: this girl I've met twice now told me yesterday that I have "very beautiful eyes". Like most people, I could list a dozen things I don't like about them, but I would have never thought to call them beautiful, let alone very beautiful. I know she wasn't hitting on me, as she was there with a Brother of mine, but she just meant it as an honest, sincere compliment (and from what I've seen from her, compliments are few and far between. If she says it, she means it!). It really surprised me.

 

Point being, no matter what you think of yourself, chances are, there's some girl out there who sees something in you. It's just a case of finding that chick, and recognizing her when you do. And, as others have said, confidence will go a long way in helping the process.

 

P.S. I doubt anyone here is Omish (sp: Amish), but I'm a Mennonite

Ironically enough, there IS an Amish web site! http://www.800padutch.com/amish.shtml

[Els]

I'm sorry, but I cannot find myself to feel any sympathy in my heart for someone who is unattractive but complains about not being able to get attractive girls.

 

I would feel great empathy and encourage him if he had said he had not been able to get girls, or to get girls that 'meshed' with him, or to get girls who are loyal and good to him.

 

The point is, you judge girls by their appearance, obviously the kind of girls that you are so unhappy about being rejected by, ALSO judge you by your appearance.

 

If you want people to look beyond your appearance and see you, see you for your personality and intelligence and heart... then you should make the first step.

 

Until then, I will continue to feel sorry for you, not because you cannot get 'attractive girls', but because you cannot see how hypocritical and shallow you are being. Your callous attitude in your first post towards 'unattractive women' sums it up. I hope some girl whom you are after tells you that you are, in your own words, 'so unattractive that noone would ever want to have sex with you'.

[loveslife]

I'm sorry, but I cannot find myself to feel any sympathy in my heart for someone who is unattractive but complains about not being able to get attractive girls.

 

I would feel great empathy and encourage him if he had said he had not been able to get girls, or to get girls that 'meshed' with him, or to get girls who are loyal and good to him.

 

The point is, you judge girls by their appearance, obviously the kind of girls that you are so unhappy about being rejected by, ALSO judge you by your appearance.

 

If you want people to look beyond your appearance and see you, see you for your personality and intelligence and heart... then you should make the first step.

 

Until then, I will continue to feel sorry for you, not because you cannot get 'attractive girls', but because you cannot see how hypocritical and shallow you are being. Your callous attitude in your first post towards 'unattractive women' sums it up. I hope some girl whom you are after tells you that you are, in your own words, 'so unattractive that noone would ever want to have sex with you'.

 

Here, here! Well said!!

 

Nothing more to add.

[allina]

Ugly can be fixed, or at least improved. What about you makes you ugly? Why not fix these things. Life is better when you feel attractive.

[EllieBean]

So let me get this straight: you see all these hot girls who you want to have sex with, and you're annoyed because they don't want to have sex with you? NO girl wants to be with a guy who only wants her for her looks - girls want guys who are kind and decent, who care about them and are interested in what they have to say, not guys who just want to have sex with them.

 

Would you rather have a really hot but empty-headed girl, or a very intelligent and interesting girl who perhaps isn't so good looking? If you say the former, then you're just as shallow as these girls who you say are judging you on your looks - you don't want to be judged on your looks, but you think it's ok for you to judge girls on theirs? What if you're dating a nice and beautiful girl, and then she has a car accident and her face and body are all scarred? Are you going to walk away because she's no longer beautiful?

 

I really think that your problem lies more in your attitude towards women. Firstly, girls don't want to be judged on their looks. Secondly, girls don't always judge you on your looks, but perhaps you don't get to know them well enough for your personality to shine through. Thirdly, are you really being a nice enough person for girls to find your personality attractive? You said yourself that you're a douchebag - so stop it!

 

Between me and my bf I guess I'm the more attractive one, as well as having more education and earning more money, and even he has said that he'd have expected me to be out of his league. But he's kind and decent and committed to our relationship, he listens to me and takes an interest in what I say, he spends a lot of time with me and does nice things for me all the time, and he is a genuinely good and wonderful person. I'd much rather date him than some loser who is out drinking with his buddies all the time, who doesn't listen to me or take care of me, and isn't willing to commit. So girls are NOT just looking for a cute guy, we prize other qualities much more highly, and it's up to you to demonstrate those qualities and show girls that you're a decent guy who is worth having a relationship with

[Jersey Shortie]

I'm sorry, but I cannot find myself to feel any sympathy in my heart for someone who is unattractive but complains about not being able to get attractive girls.

 

I would feel great empathy and encourage him if he had said he had not been able to get girls, or to get girls that 'meshed' with him, or to get girls who are loyal and good to him.

 

The point is, you judge girls by their appearance, obviously the kind of girls that you are so unhappy about being rejected by, ALSO judge you by your appearance.

 

If you want people to look beyond your appearance and see you, see you for your personality and intelligence and heart... then you should make the first step.

 

Until then, I will continue to feel sorry for you, not because you cannot get 'attractive girls', but because you cannot see how hypocritical and shallow you are being. Your callous attitude in your first post towards 'unattractive women' sums it up. I hope some girl whom you are after tells you that you are, in your own words, 'so unattractive that noone would ever want to have sex with you'.

 

Very well said, I was thinking the very same thing.

[You'reasian]

 

Between me and my bf I guess I'm the more attractive one, as well as having more education and earning more money, and even he has said that he'd have expected me to be out of his league. But he's kind and decent and committed to our relationship, he listens to me and takes an interest in what I say, he spends a lot of time with me and does nice things for me all the time, and he is a genuinely good and wonderful person. I'd much rather date him than some loser who is out drinking with his buddies all the time, who doesn't listen to me or take care of me, and isn't willing to commit. So girls are NOT just looking for a cute guy, we prize other qualities much more highly, and it's up to you to demonstrate those qualities and show girls that you're a decent guy who is worth having a relationship with

 

Here you go, BoredPerson.

 

I think somewhere deep down, you desire a relationship - which the above traits matter most, but you have to date in order to get that relationship as most women will not just jump in (unless the two of you somehow have really, really strong chemistry and the stars are alligned lol) - and we understand that dating is a selfish-driven, chaotic and irrational atmosphere, but take it all in stride, have fun and work on yourself.

 

If your heart is in the right place and you work on yourself, someone will come along and she'll suprise the hell out of you.

[BoredPerson]

Let me get this straight. You feel you're unattractive physically but refuse to date women unless they're attractive?

 

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe if you didn't judge yourself against some media-defined unattainable image you might start noticing the beauty is some of these "hideous" available women.

 

Maybe if you got to like yourself "warts and all" you'd project a better image yourself.

 

I think the problem is not on the outside. Sorry.

 

What ? I am sure they go through the same thing. No one should have to be with someone unattractive. That is like saying a woman should have to be with someone she does not want to be with. They call that rape.

 

Show some empathy please. Very typically female to not care about other people.

[BoredPerson]

Wow for a discussion forum you people sure lack the ability to reason.

 

I am unattractive and girls don't like me. That is what I am complaining about. Not one did I say that it was the girls fault.

 

I only ever said it sucks and I hate it that I cannot get attractive women.

 

Yes, looks are important, we all want to be with someone we think is beautiful.

 

What sort of relationship would it be if I told her I didn't think she was pretty at all and found her unattractive but dated her because that is all I could get ?

[BoredPerson]

So let me get this straight: you see all these hot girls who you want to have sex with, and you're annoyed because they don't want to have sex with you? NO girl wants to be with a guy who only wants her for her looks - girls want guys who are kind and decent, who care about them and are interested in what they have to say, not guys who just want to have sex with them.

 

Would you rather have a really hot but empty-headed girl, or a very intelligent and interesting girl who perhaps isn't so good looking? If you say the former, then you're just as shallow as these girls who you say are judging you on your looks - you don't want to be judged on your looks, but you think it's ok for you to judge girls on theirs? What if you're dating a nice and beautiful girl, and then she has a car accident and her face and body are all scarred? Are you going to walk away because she's no longer beautiful?

 

I really think that your problem lies more in your attitude towards women. Firstly, girls don't want to be judged on their looks. Secondly, girls don't always judge you on your looks, but perhaps you don't get to know them well enough for your personality to shine through. Thirdly, are you really being a nice enough person for girls to find your personality attractive? You said yourself that you're a douchebag - so stop it!

 

Between me and my bf I guess I'm the more attractive one, as well as having more education and earning more money, and even he has said that he'd have expected me to be out of his league. But he's kind and decent and committed to our relationship, he listens to me and takes an interest in what I say, he spends a lot of time with me and does nice things for me all the time, and he is a genuinely good and wonderful person. I'd much rather date him than some loser who is out drinking with his buddies all the time, who doesn't listen to me or take care of me, and isn't willing to commit. So girls are NOT just looking for a cute guy, we prize other qualities much more highly, and it's up to you to demonstrate those qualities and show girls that you're a decent guy who is worth having a relationship with

 

Attractive women generally require less intelligence to get ahead so the two of you are probably on about the same level anyway. The same applies to attractive men but it is a bigger impact for women as more stock in placed on looks.

 

I never said I wanted them only for their looks. I said they were nice people. They're also very charming. I don't discriminate against women and assume they're unintelligent or shallow just because they're pretty.

 

I tend to let the first few words that come out of their mouths do that for me. However there are tonnes of charming women which is why I am sad.

 

They're not stupid, they're not going to go and pick some neanderthal like creature over the strong, clean cut young men. No matter what sort of a career I have I don't think it will matter to those women because they'll find a better looking man in a similar position. Career is complimentary and helpful but it is not everything. Which is what you don't understand because you are dealing in absolutes all the time.

[EllieBean]

Attractive women generally require less intelligence to get ahead so the two of you are probably on about the same level anyway. The same applies to attractive men but it is a bigger impact for women as more stock in placed on looks.

 

Um.. did you miss the part where I said that my bf considers me to be the more attractive one, AND I also have more education and earn more money than he does? He has a bachelors degree and I have a PhD. The fact that I'm dating him has nothing to do with either looks or education, it has to do with the fact that he is a wonderful guy... most guys wouldn't treat me as well as my bf does. If I can have any guy I want, I'm going to choose a guy who treats me like a princess, regardless of his looks and income... I don't want a rich good-looking guy who doesn't understand me or take care of me. You're placing waaay too much emphasis on materialistic factors!

[Justanotherschmuck]

Dude your face could have caught on fire and been put out with an icepick and it wouldn't matter.

 

With women ITS ALL ABOUT MONEY AND POWER. They can cry and deny all they want.

 

Money

power

 

Have either or both and you will have no problem getting tons of ladies.

 

Now, I'm NOT saying any of em will be worth a damn, but, you said sexy and good looking. That you can get.

 

But their "love" will be as superficial as....well.....power and money.

[Els]

I see you conveniently skipped my post. No matter.

 

Just to put things in perspective for you, if a girl posted this OP, what would you and others reply?

 

'I hate life sometimes. Dropping out of high school and being a waitress in McDs sucks. I'll never meet all those lawyers and doctors and CEOs. The only men I can get are other waiters who are so uneducated I wouldn't WANT to be their gf!

 

This sucks. I don't even need one who earns trillions a year, just a couple of millions. Hate @ working as a waitress.'

 

Do you see the logic now?