Insecure men who like to cut women down

[boxing123]

I did know one girl who always talked about her hour glass figure, but she was simply fat. I was too nice to say anything.

 

What if you were around this guy that said he was ripped. And obviously he was not. Some guys do that as well. After a while you might just tell him, "Hey, your not all that"

[mortensorchid]

You answered your own question there : because they are insecure, insensitive a------s. Unfortunate as it may sound, you are going to encounter a lot of these guys. They hate women no matter what they may or may not say, and they are making themselves feel better about themselves by chipping away at your self esteem.

 

We're women. We do not need worms like them, we need MEN to stand by our sides. Real men do not talk to women like this, only cowards.

[Kamille]

Anyone who feels entitled to put other's down as a principle obviously has an issue. I have had guys brag about how ripped they were, or how much money they made or how great their careers are going or this or that. People brag all the time! I either thought it was great for them, funny or, in some cases, annoying, but never felt the need to cut them down because of it. Whatever, that's their thing you know and it isn't up to me to tell them how to behave.

 

Feeling entitled to cut people down though? Something really bugs me about that, not least of all the fact that in and of itself, it's arrogant.

[MeaganRaye]

Why wouldn't you have challenged him on it, the times he did this? The easiest way to do that is to straight out ask him why he's so insecure.

 

My self esteem felt so low that I didn't defend myself. I was speechless when he said that and just quickly changed the subject

[mr.dream merchant]

You answered your own question there : because they are insecure, insensitive a------s. Unfortunate as it may sound, you are going to encounter a lot of these guys. They hate women no matter what they may or may not say, and they are making themselves feel better about themselves by chipping away at your self esteem.

 

We're women. We do not need worms like them, we need MEN to stand by our sides. Real men do not talk to women like this, only cowards.

 

Correction. YOUR kind of Man.

[Trialbyfire]

My self esteem felt so low that I didn't defend myself. I was speechless when he said that and just quickly changed the subject

Then it's time to pull out a kevlar jacket when it comes to interacting with someone like this. You have to ask yourself why someone can bring you so low with just a few comments, especially since he's already told you that he does this on purpose.

 

We're treated the way we allow other people to treat us.

[missdependant]

This man probably cannot find any good qualities within himself. He will tear everything apart in other people to try and find things that equate to his insecurities. Women especially, if his low-self esteem is caused by gender-specific issues. He will attack other people's self-esteem, and try to make them seem weaker so he can prey on them. It's not much different than playground bullies.

 

In any case, don't let his words effect you. We all have good qualities and bad qualities and it is important to be able to recognize both. That said, you had every right to say what you said, as long as you're able to see the line between confidence and vanity.

 

Hope that makes sense.

[BoredPerson]

okay, I knew a guy who said that whenever a woman had high self esteem he would put her down. I asked him why and he said, "I don't know. I just don't like females walking around with a big head."

 

If you were confident and made remarks like, "I am pretty and attractive." He would get very irritated. Once, I said something about how I had an hourglass figure and he said, "I know women who have better figures than you do you don't even have the most curvy body out there.":( I was taken back and he sounded so angry when he said that.

 

Why are some men insecure that they feel the need to tear down women who realize their worth? Is it an ego thing?

 

A woman being full of herself is different to a man being full of himself. I have no problems with successful women but they should be modest.

 

Most successful men I know do not harp on and on about their success nor do they chose friends or girlfriends based on success.

 

I kind of understand where your friend is coming from though his behaviour may be a little off.

 

Sometimes I've wanted to scream ' SHUT UP and get in line like everyone else, you are nothing but the office hussy ! they hire you not because you are 'intelligent' but because they like looking at your tits and ass'.

 

I had a mate in the webdesign business who knes this chick that would talk about her hobby as though it were some awesome business and it really irritated him that she made out she had a company when she didn't.

[You'reasian]

There's a difference between being positive and uplifting for a woman you care about, whose fishing for something of that nature

 

and

 

a woman whose catty, judgemental and a little over the top.

 

I think the man in question was probably in a dating environment where lots of superficial women are constantly giving off that over the top vibe - probably a function of his opinion of women and that's understandable

 

and

 

that's completely different from the old fashioned POV that "women should stay in the kitchen" - although the responses from both environments might sound the same. The difference is that the first case, the guy probably had some respect for women to being with.

 

A few posters pointed out the Sex in the City attitude as not helping out the female perspective of this case. The men aren't insecure; they just hate the b***s*** attitude.

[Trialbyfire]

Women don't need to be anymore modest than men. Double-standards.

 

But...if you're not the modest type, you can't be easily deflated by people, because you'll find all types that want and need to bring others down, due to personal insecurities.

[You'reasian]

Women don't need to be anymore modest than men. Double-standards..

 

I agree.

 

The most bad ass women I've met are usually not the attention seeking ones. A little sassy can be fun, but over the top can be irritating and counter-productive.

 

But...if you're not the modest type, you can't be easily deflated by people, because you'll find all types that want and need to bring others down, due to personal insecurities.

 

Its about the vibe that you put out

[Trialbyfire]

I agree.

 

The most bad ass women I've met are usually not the attention seeking ones. A little sassy can be fun, but over the top can be irritating and counter-productive.

Everyone has preferences. If someone isn't of interest, that's cool too.

Its about the vibe that you put out

It depends on what kind of person you're attempting to appeal to. The more confident a person, the more they're going to appeal to someone of a similar or greater confidence level, since they don't feel threatened by it.

[You'reasian]

It depends on what kind of person you're attempting to appeal to. .

 

I've got my own hobbies and personality because....they're mine. They're driven by my life, not the desire to attract, but if it attracts someone that's great. The women of my life have their own hobbies and personality that are unique to them and its fun to sit back, support, occasionaly tease and enjoy what they're doing.

 

Its part of being independent

 

The more confident a person, the more they're going to appeal to someone of a similar or greater confidence level, since they don't feel threatened by it.

 

It depends on if you're attracted to and like the person whether you label them as confident or irritating.

 

Men don't like over the top feminism and will generally find it irritating.

[Trialbyfire]

I've got my own hobbies and personality because....they're mine. They're driven by my life, not the desire to attract, but if it attracts someone that's great. The women of my life have their own hobbies and personality that are unique to them and its fun to sit back, support, occasionaly tease and enjoy what they're doing.

 

Its part of being independent

 

 

 

It depends on if you're attracted to and like the person whether you label them as confident or irritating.

 

Men don't like over the top feminism and will generally find it irritating.

I'm trying to figure out what this discussion is about. Is it about generalizations or personal preferences? Sounds to me like it's about the latter, which for the OP, does nothing to help her situation, unless you're suggesting that you and this jerk-off friend of hers, are one and the same person, with the same preferences and reasoning for bringing a woman down.

[BoredPerson]

 

A few posters pointed out the Sex in the City attitude as not helping out the female perspective of this case. The men aren't insecure; they just hate the b***s*** attitude.

 

100% agree - some posters here have real man hating issues and it would improve their cause to stop thinking like that.

 

Also be humble and acceptantly take the submissive role in a relationship and you will find me will treat you a lot nicer.

 

Women should act like women a.k.a get into the kitched (for a little while only).

[You'reasian]

100% agree - some posters here have real man hating issues and it would improve their cause to stop thinking like that.

 

Also be humble and acceptantly take the submissive role in a relationship and you will find men will treat you a lot nicer.

 

Women should act like women a.k.a get into the kitchen (for a little while only).

 

If a woman gets into the kitchen, I'd probably follow her, see what she's doing, try to see if we could make something nice together, get distracted , continue cooking, get distracted again and probably eat a late dinner

[OpenBook]

If a woman gets into the kitchen' date=' I'd probably follow her, see what she's doing, try to see if we could make something nice together, get distracted , continue cooking, get distracted again and probably eat a late dinner.[/quote']

 

That's the spirit You'reasian!! :bunny: You're doing your gender a great service with this view.

[You'reasian]

That's the spirit You'reasian!! :bunny: You're doing your gender a great service with this view.

 

If my buddies are over, I can't come into the kitchen. Sorry ladies, but my friends are brothers.

[Kamille]

Also be humble and acceptantly take the submissive role in a relationship and you will find me will treat you a lot nicer.

 

 

Love the slip! Your honesty is quite refreshing and, yes, you're entitled to your opinion that women should assume the submissive role. Whether that means men bragging is less annoying then women bragging is up to each individual to decide.

 

Not all men feel women should take be submissive and that's all right. There's plenty of variety out there in the dating world, so much so that I don't think anyone has to impose their view of the world on anyone.