OMG! FINALLY and may have to postpone!!

[Geishawhelk]

Holy Shxt I had no idea you were going through such huge upheavals, IG....

I am so sorry!

Damn, you know if there was anything I could do to help, I'd move heaven and earth to do it, truly I would!

 

Hang in there honey, I'm doing the only thing I can and rooting for you all the way - my hands are clasped in supplication..... ((hugs ))

[melodymatters]

WOW ! what a story IG ! I knew you were in a LD marriage but...WOW ! You two really have been through the ringer !

 

I can't wait to read the posts that say " My husband and I went out to dinner, then took a walk etc.." All the things we take for granted every day !

 

If you don't mind, however did you two meet with him so far away ?

 

I'm rooting for you too IG, chin up ! ...and many hugs !

[Island Girl]

That's wonderful news about being able to gain time without impact to approval!

 

Keep your chin up. I can't wait to hear about how soon that rescheduled interview will be. You've come so far. There's only a little ways left.

 

Thank you!! Yes - only a little ways left.

 

I am coming out of my skin - still have not slept. But this has been happening a lot since I have no medication left. It just is the way it is.

 

And the high side is sometimes I get a tremendous amount of stuff done with a huge crash in the afternoon or evening.

 

 

Holy Shxt I had no idea you were going through such huge upheavals, IG....

I am so sorry!

Damn, you know if there was anything I could do to help, I'd move heaven and earth to do it, truly I would!

 

Hang in there honey, I'm doing the only thing I can and rooting for you all the way - my hands are clasped in supplication..... ((hugs ))

 

Awwwwww thank you for your support. It really makes a difference that people do care.

 

The letter to the embassy says basically the same thing but also centers on my symptoms. I have to show a lot of hardship to me with him gone so they give him the visa immediately to alleviate that.

So I am hopeful the OIC sees things the same way you guys do and gets him his visa immediately.

They could approve him as early as the same day and he could be here the next.

 

One can only hope!!

 

WOW ! what a story IG ! I knew you were in a LD marriage but...WOW ! You two really have been through the ringer !

 

I can't wait to read the posts that say " My husband and I went out to dinner, then took a walk etc.." All the things we take for granted every day !

 

If you don't mind, however did you two meet with him so far away ?

 

I'm rooting for you too IG, chin up ! ...and many hugs !

 

I don't mind telling you how we met!

 

My brother used to hang out pretty regularly in a bar - it was a bar that regulars hang out in. And I had gone in there with my brother on several occasions so I knew most everybody.

 

So one night I went in there and the local rugby team was there partying it up after a game.

My husband was coaching them at the time and *boom*.

 

Immediate sparks and a couple of weeks later we were together just about every minute.

 

A year and half later he left and we went LD.

 

Three and a half years later we were married.

 

The best wishes are greatly appreciated.

I can't wait until we can do those things as well!

[KikiW]

IG, if you can get through all this, you can get through anything!

 

Almost done... almost there!

[Island Girl]

Update:

 

We decided it was best to postpone and requested the interview to be scheduled the first week of April.

 

There is no guarantee that this is when it will be. And I do not know how quickly we will find out if that is acceptable.

I hope we do find out soon so at least we can get advanced purchase for the plane fare for him.

 

He is happy. Really excited because finally he has stuff to do on his side.

His medical will be scheduled Monday for the first possible day.

The exam is only good for two months so without knowing when the interview was going to be we couldn't get even this done. *sigh*

They do not make it easy that is for sure.

 

By then everything should be in place.

 

My birthday is in April. I am secretly hoping he'll be here by then.

It would be the first birthday of mine we'll get to celebrate together since 2002.

 

We've missed:

 

7 Christmases

7 Thanksgivings

6 of my birthdays

4 of his birthdays

 

And all of that time in between.

76 of the last 77 months.

 

I can't help feeling that this is all over and we're finally going to be together again. But at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up too far.

 

I really appreciate all of you here pulling for us.

 

You've never met either of us. And yet when I read your posts I can really feel that you do care what happens.

 

Thank you All.

[Geishawhelk]

I knew it....

My birthday's in April too..... !

 

Hang in there IG...... ((Hugs!))

[Island Girl]

I knew it....

My birthday's in April too..... !

 

NO WAY!!

 

Cyber-twins! I knew it too!!!

 

<--(Easter Bunny)

[gwynieatpain]

Wow IG. I was away from LS for a few days and here's a belated "Congrats". Im so happy for you.

 

Hope you have everything fixed very soon.

[Island Girl]

Thank you gwynieatpain!!

 

I would welcome positive thoughts that the next thread I post is "He's Coming HOME!!!!"

 

I am way too excited and hopeful -- way too early.

 

At this pace I am going to be coming out of my skin by the end of March.

 

Settle down Island Girl, Settle down...

[Asami]

Yes medical conditions.

 

*sigh*

 

A number of things happened in rapid succession at the end of 2006.

 

When I went to marry my husband I was finally told of the event that happened just months before the wedding.

He was attacked on the street by a mentally ill man with a machete. He had passed the guy and the man had turned to bring the knife down on his head.

He put his arms up as the knife was coming down and both wrists were cut. His right hand was nearly cut off.

His right wrist is now fused because they didn't have the skill to reattach the ligaments.

That was quite a shock.

 

A month after I came back I learned that my company was cutting our pay by almost 50%.

 

The next month I was scheduling his interview in Fiji - I got the time off of work which really took some doing and bought the tickets for us.

Then I wrote the embassy for an appointment.

They hadn't posted on their site that they'd be closed for 3 weeks and that was when I was supposed to be there.

(They had told me to get the tickets and make sure by looking at their web site that it wasn't conflicting with their closure dates because they are closed for all US and Fijian holidays.)

I rescheduled the flights immediately and wrote the Ambassador of the problem.

They had written me back saying they would open for me whatever day I was coming. But the tickets were already changed.

 

So I had the new interview date.

 

The next month riots exploded in my husbands country and the main town was destroyed. My husband was in the thick of it as he helped his sister get inventory out of her store before it was burned. He helped the store owners next to her and then helped the police hold the crowd back so they could get away safely.

 

Just a week later he went missing. It is a tiny little island and everyone knows who he is so for no one to have seen him - well it was alarming.

Six days went by and his sister finally found out he was being held at the jail in conjunction with looting because he was on several security cameras carrying merchandise. She had to go find the officers that were present to vouch for him tell them he was assisting with removal of the merchandise - not stealing it.

 

The next month was our interview.

 

Two days before I was scheduled to leave there was a coup in Fiji.

American were advised not to travel to Fiji and if there was travel to stay away from Suva (where the embassy is).

My husband was flying into Suva but I was flying into Nadi on the other side of the island. It is approximately four hours driving.

He didn't want to take a chance of something happening to me traveling by myself.

So we decided to postpone at that time.

 

We thought we'd just use the tickets within the next 6 months.

But The Adam Walsh Child Protection Act was passed that January and the embassies stopped taking spousal paperwork. So the embassy wrote me and told me I had to file in the US.

(They didn't write me a month later when that was overturned - I could have still used my tickets at that point.)

 

So all of these things combined and triggered PTSD which I was predisposed to because of severe childhood abuse.

 

In the years since my condition has steadily worsened.

 

My doctor has said once all of this stress is removed from my plate, and I have him here, I will experience dramatic improvement but as long as things stay as they are I will continue to struggle.

 

So there you have it.

 

Sorry so long.

Wow, Island Girl, I am so sorry that you've gone through so many hardships during your life. Your hardships has definately made you the person that you are today strong,intelligent woman with perserverence. I have faith and I know you and your hubby will get through this. hugs:)

[Island Girl]

Wow, Island Girl, I am so sorry that you've gone through so many hardships during your life. Your hardships has definately made you the person that you are today strong,intelligent woman with perserverence. I have faith and I know you and your hubby will get through this. hugs:)

 

Thank you so much.

 

I can't tell you how exciting this all is.

 

That this might finally be over. And we'll be living together again after so very long.

 

We have both aged and had many years of lost shared memories.

I just hope with all of my being that we finally get to share everything again.

 

Just being able to look at each other while talking will be miraculous.

OMG when I think about that it seems so far fetched.

 

UGH How'm I ever going to make it another 30 days...?

[LikeCharlotte]

question:

UGH How'm I ever going to make it another 30 days...?

answer:

 

Just being able to look at each other while talking will be miraculous.

It's almost here! I am very happy for you! I know it's been hard but your story is inspiring. You should write a book.

[Island Girl]

It's almost here! I am very happy for you! I know it's been hard but your story is inspiring. You should write a book.

 

I'm glad it can provide inspiration to those here.

 

LDRs are so hard and it does help to know they can work out - however they're going to.

 

I don't want to get my hopes up to high. The OIC at the embassy still has the last say... oh I can't even say cross your fingers because it all sends chills through me!

 

You aren't the first person who has suggested a book.

My closest friends have said the same thing - if only to show that love is something to hold onto and it is a worthwhile cause.

 

Two people find each other and it doesn't matter how - it just matters that they do and when they do they both hang on for dear life.

[Nicodaemos]

You have helped so many so much, her is a little something that has helped me get through the trial times, even now. Pray that the bad times take a long time, wish for them to drag on... and on... and on. Sounds ridiculous, yea, but when you have dragged through heel by you teeth, a grassy knoll under a tree in springtime, is absolute heaven. And, when you finally find you bliss, those dark times make it sooo much sweeter. It tests, and strengthens your resolve. By forcing you mind to remember more of the bad times, the good times take longer as well, because you remember the bad, and wish to make the good times longer than the bad. It seems to work for me, and I still do it now, even though i want this to be over, to have answers, when it is over, it will be tha much more of a relief.

 

I dont know how well it will work for others, but, maybe give it a try. I dont know how much you should, with the PTSD, its a serious consideration, but i dunno. reverse psychology applied in a new fashion, works for some, but not all like anything else when dealing with humans, so be wary. and good luck. keep strong through the trials Island Girl, you greatly deserve your time to come. I hope it does soon.

[Geishawhelk]

UGH How'm I ever going to make it another 30 days...?

 

Count down - One down, just a few more to go.

 

And come in here, talk to us, and bring things onto a floor-level. Stay rooted, and smile.... you've hung on so long..... a few more days, then April will be here......

[Ariadne]

Good luck Island Girl!!!

 

You are almost there...

[Island Girl]

He called tonight.

 

He has scheduled his doctor's appointment for clearance this coming Friday (it'll be my Thursday).

 

I have figured out the fees for the paperwork he has to turn in and possibly his plane fare.

 

His best friends aunt lives in Suva and she and her daughter work at the embassy. - That isn't an "in" as far as any special consideration goes for his approval. But we have to send the complete file so he can turn it in there (they won't accept a delivery and they are originals that they need).

BUT his cousin lives there as well.

 

And I have gone online and found out when he enters Fiji he automatically gets a entry visa for 4 months.

So I am going to tell him to stay there with his cousin and spouse for the duration. We should have an answer within that time - but I obviously hope it's WAY sooner.

 

Approval time frame is within 4 to 6 months.

If it is longer than 4 months he can apply for a visa to stay in Fiji the extra time. Or go back to Tonga and wait there.

 

I worry for him only because if the is a denial then when he goes back to Tonga it will be so difficult for him mentally. Especially after being in Fiji and experiencing a taste of what he had before. You know, modern conveniences, etc.

 

I just keep having this feeling that it is going to happen. I now can imagine him here and how we will be together. I can see him when I pick him up from the airport - cooking dinner - watching TV - the whole nine.

 

I keep trying to keep myself in 'check' about it but things are all falling into place.

It seems the stars are aligning or something.

 

He is just about coming out of his skin there too. On my side I have had the stress of getting everything together and filing, etc. That's A LOT of stress to be sure.

But on his side he has had the difficulty of waiting...and waiting...and waiting for years. Never really knowing what effort it has been or all of the steps involved. Just having faith and waiting.

 

There is a hymn that the Tongan people sing a lot that's main verse is, "Very very soon, I am going to see my King" or something like that.

 

He called last Thursday and when I answered he sang, "very very soon I am going to see my Queen" over and over.

 

The other day we had an issue about the phone - we have been using his cousin's phone and I had called there when the whole issue was going on with the papers and should we postpone, etc.

His cousin who answered doesn't speak English very well - and the phone messed up and disconnected.

I was already on edge so I called a couple of other family members and let them know I was very upset - that they needed to track down Mister and let him know he needed to call his wife ASAP.

 

When we did finally talk it was later in the evening. I was irritated. (I am rather high maintenance and demanding I know.) I explained what had happened and that his cousin had hung up on me to which he said:

"Now honey - you right - but he didn't hang up the phone. The phone has problems like now."

The phone was cutting in and out.

"It's raining here and the phone, it doesn't work and you know that. But you right it hung up. But my cousins; their right too. They didn't hang up on you; just the phone. They say they are so sorry it seems like that. They do not mean to make you mad like that."

Awwwwwwwwwwwww

 

See why I love him so much!

 

He just knows me so well.

 

Do you know that if we get into an argument we can resolve it within minutes.

Even with a language difference and being 5600 miles apart - even with the fact we have not seen each other in 31 months and 36 before that and 7 before that.

We just know each other so very well.

And the most difficult things about me he just adores.

I can not imagine how I got so lucky. Let him tell you how lucky he is. But it is really me.

 

When I went there to marry him - that night we were all talking. And he was telling the story of how we met. It was the first time I'd heard him tell it.

The energy between us was tangible. We hadn't seen each other - not even pictures for three years - and I worried before I got off of the plane that it would be awkward or strange (that'd be natural wouldn't it? after so much time...) but the second we were in front of each other it was as if I'd never been away from him.

 

And so he told the story. You needn't read if you don't want to. I am really just up - too excited to sleep - with a lot on my mind. So I am writing. And it is a good story - at least I think so.

 

My brother had become a member of a historical society. And he met up with fellow members at a local bar quite often. I had gone with him on several occasions. His friends knew me and wouldn't hit on me - certainly they'd enforce my "no" if someone did. So I felt safe going.

So I went by myself one night when I was itching to get out of the house. And the entire rugby team was there after their game -- I saw him across the room and he came over. We danced. He left.

Two weeks later the same thing happened. And there he was again. I went outside for some air and he followed. We chatted and he asked for my phone number - really sweetly I might add. I gave it to him.

 

Then we headed inside. After I went through the door a few people went in behind me - he followed them. And when I sat down on my stool he kept walking into the dance area. When I looked there he was - dancing with another girl.

He was facing me so the entire time I was glaring at him.

 

He came over and asked if there was a problem and I demanded my phone number back.

"Why?!!" he asked.

I then proceeded to explain to him that I could see what he was all about and I wasn't about to be part of it. I also told him that I wasn't about to explain to him whom he'd just met. And again asked for my number back.

 

He asked to sit down instead. Then he proceeded to ask me questions. I answered each one and at the end of each answer I asked for my number.

 

In his words, "she kept doing that for 45 minutes! Then I asked a question and she gave the answer but didn't ask for her number. I thought 'oh my gosh! I am going to have to straight with this one! She doesn't mess around!'.

 

 

Right before we got married I called him and told him, "honey, you know I jump to conclusions a lot and I get mad sometimes when I shouldn't - then you explain and I understand - and that I can get really high maintenance, etc."

And he said "I know honey how long I've been knowing you now, so what?"

I said, "I just want you to know who you're marrying so you don't expect me to change because I am who I am".

To that he says, "my gosh honey I know you. Sometimes you are so crazy but you keep me on my toes - I am a better person because of you. I love you so much."

 

 

Why am I babbling on so? I guess I am just reliving all of our history - the really good things that have kept me holding on tight.

 

I just feel as if I am going to burst not sharing them with someone. My chest is getting constricted just thinking that he will finally be HERE!

OMG. OMG....ohhhh!

 

That's quite enough for now.

 

Thanks for reading if you made it all the way through.

 

eeeek

[Island Girl]

Count down - One down, just a few more to go.

 

And come in here, talk to us, and bring things onto a floor-level. Stay rooted, and smile.... you've hung on so long..... a few more days, then April will be here......

 

I guess that is what that long rambling post just was.

 

Too excited to sleep and it is a month away! My goodness what am I going to do?!! I am going to need horse tranquilizers!!

 

Good luck Island Girl!!!

 

You are almost there...

 

Thank you Adriadne.

 

It just can't get here soon enough. Although I know time WILL fly and soon it will be tomorrow!

 

I wish I could go to Fiji and see him there. That was always the plan until the economy took such a dive!

 

The interview will be over in the next month.

And then we wait for approval - hopefully not too long.

 

THEN HE COMES HERE!!!

 

I have spent a pretty penny for two immigration attorneys. They have been doing this for 62 years combined experience.

They have a 92% success record.

 

Send your best wishes my way! We can never get too many of those!

 

[Ariadne]

I can see him when I pick him up from the airport - cooking dinner - watching TV - the whole nine.

 

Awww.....

 

Wishing you the best!

[Ariadne]

The interview will be over in the next month.

And then we wait for approval - hopefully not too long.

 

Those things are always scary (been there) but they usually work out ok.

[Island Girl]

Those things are always scary (been there) but they usually work out ok.

 

I know!

 

And I have no idea what they are going to say or what they are going to ask.

This part just sucks!

[Island Girl]

Well the estimated time for Non-immigrant visas to be issued from Suva, Fiji is 1 day.

 

That is 1 business day.

 

So my attorneys have said it could be within a day - and that is the estimated processing time.

 

So it seems that he'll have his interview and we will know directly after.

 

But special clearances can take up to 30 days. And so I don't really know how long they'll really take.

The attorneys have also told me they are not held to any certain time limit. It is pretty much they can do whatever they want.

 

And he is seeking an immigrant visa so the timeline really may not count at all. It is the only info I could find though.

[Island Girl]

Okay All -

 

His visa interview has been rescheduled to:

 

Wednesday April 1st at 8:30am.

 

April Fools Day...?!!

 

So we have exactly 30 more days until then...

 

The first official countdown begins!

[Geishawhelk]

Woooo-hoooo!!

 

And we're already half-way through the 1st week in March - You go girl!!

 

Hang in there hun!! (((hugs!)))

[Island Girl]

Bad news.

 

Earlier his cousin called to tell me he was in the hospital.

 

So of course I was FLIPPING OUT.

I called his cousins wife that is like my sister (she lived here up until a year ago and we're really close) and she flew to the hospital.

 

She called and said he was in a minor car accident and they were checking him over but he is fine - not to worry.

 

* B I G____ S I G H ___O F_____ R E L I E F *

 

Well I just got to speak with him directly and he hit his face on the steering wheel and lost his front teeth!

 

I am flipping out a little bit over here.

There wasn't anyone at the hospital who could put them back in -- so now what?!!

 

My husband looks almost identical to Dwayne Johnson "The Rock".

Imagine him without his front teeth!!

 

I know there is a dentist there that he can go to but probably the only thing they'll be able to do is give him false teeth.

 

I looked it up on the web and he could get implants here. But I don't know how quickly.

 

Just OMG. OMG!

 

His smile was SO BEAUTIFUL!!

 

I am just stunned I guess.