mr.dream merchant Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Well maybe I should elaborate. It is a serious relationship. I've spent loads of money on her throughout the relationship. But now I'm budgeting because I don't have much to my name. Today we were supposed to go out, originally for a movie. She wanted to have dinner as well. I asked if she was treating. She got an attitude. I explained to her why I asked and she got upset, getting dramatic and saying never to spend money on her again, don't take her to the movies, this and that. I mean, am I wrong for not wanting to spend 50 dollars in one night because I'm on a budget? She didn't leave me, but she stated she doesn't want to see me tonight which has me pissed because I've been waiting since Saturday to see her. It may very well be till this Saturday before I see her again. We argued, and yeah, I said some mean things to her because at the time, the way she was acting, she very much deserved it. Now reading your post, should I be kicking myself in the ass for being mean to my GF who is unreasonable at the moment? I mean me being temporarily broke isn't something she should be upset over, if anything if she really loved me she should understand where I'm coming from and try to accomodate it, not guilt trip me into spending money, what the ****...
Touche Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I mean me being temporarily broke isn't something she should be upset over, if anything if she really loved me she should understand where I'm coming from and try to accomodate it, not guilt trip me into spending money, what the ****... Exactly! The girl has zero class and sounds very superficial. My H was pretty broke when we met. We had the best times watching movies at his house or my apt. We cooked for each other or together. We went out for a beer and played pool, etc. etc.. It never bothered me at all. I loved being with HIM...it didn't matter what we did. She sounds like a spoiled, immature brat of a girl. Go find a WOMAN. (And maybe do her a favor and show her your thread.)
Citizen Erased Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 Spoiled without a doubt. A complete overreaction. Come on, you can do better than this...
anne1707 Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 This is one of several threads that you have now started talking about problems with your girlfriend. It has ranged from her being too pretty, getting on better with others etc all the way through to her starting a new job and you being insecure about this when you admit there is no reason. And now there is this thread. It seems to me that either it as simple as you and your girlfriend are just not compatible or you are looking for some justification from LS for ending things with her. At the end of the day, sorry but that is your decision. Maybe there are problems with her. Maybe they are with you. Or maybe you are just not right for each other. But I don't think it is right that you keep coming here with one thing after another without actually addressing any of these issues with her, assuming they are genuine issues. Decide what you want. Talk to her. Let her decide what she wants. Take it from there. It's as simple as that.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 Man I'm so pissed. I really don't know what to say to her when she calls because she doesn't think she's in the wrong at all. She was like "I would've been happy with a 5 dollar meal" But I know her, if she wanted dinner she did not want no damn Taco Bell. How do I get it across to her in a gentleman like manner that she's a superficial spoiled immature GF? Lmao jeez..reading that back to myself - what am I doing with her? I can do better than this. The sex isn't even that great! And its lacking! And she quits after the first orgasm! I try to talk to her about our problems but things always go the same way. 1. She gets upset "Not this again! I'm so sick of arguing about dumb ****!" 2. She complains and bottles up, disengages conversation 3. A combination of 1 and 2. 4. I get upset because she sucks at communicating on an adult level.
Enema Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 There was a big thread on here not too long ago about men paying for dates. Many women still hold the belief that the man should always pay, even well into the relationship. You just have to keep looking until you find a good one buddy. I even split the bill on a first date and now she's my wife
Citizen Erased Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 How long have you been with her may I ask?
Touche Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 How long have you been with her may I ask? Obviously too long.
allina Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Ew! What a horrid attitude. Since you've been together for a while I assume she knows you don't have much money currently. A sweet thing for her to do would be to tell you she's taking you out to dinner and a movie. I'm shocked that this caused a fight and that that she didn't want to see you.
Citizen Erased Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Obviously too long. Yes, well that goes without saying. The reason I asked was that I know in my case everything is split 50/50 and we're only in our 20's. If I know he's short on cash I'll pay for dinner, or the movies or whatever, and he does the same for me. There has never been any expectation that either of us would always pay. Anyway but we've also been together for 4 years so I thought the OP may have been only a couple of months or so...but I doubt it.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted February 26, 2009 Author Posted February 26, 2009 I've been with her for 9 months. She's been blowing up my phone via txt and calls. I told her through text I'd catch up with her later and she responded "Lol I was gonna say I wanted to see you tmrw but nvm" I replied that I didn't want to see her tmrw (Why should I? If she can just disregard meeting up with me on her time then I should be able to reciprocate right?). She replied "u don't mean that". I finally picked up and she asked why I was ignoring her. I told her I was busy and I'd get back to her later. To be honest I really don't want to catch back up with her. What happened today is such a damn turn off. She pretty much kicked me when I was down you know?
allina Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 She pretty much kicked me when I was down you know? Plus she uses annoying text/im language
Trialbyfire Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Yup, she's spoiled and unreasonable. Tell her you're not a bottomless wallet and if she wants this relationship to continue, she'd better start pulling her weight. I would also recommend that next time you're on a budget, that you nicely explain to whomever you're seeing, that you're on a budget v. immediately getting snarky and "asking her if she's treating". Maybe I'm misinterpreting the tone in your post but it sounds like you threw some attitude at her which would automatically get her back up, causing the reciprocation of attitude.
collegekid491 Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 As much as your lipping off your gf, this is partially your fault. You obviously instilled the expectation in her that you would always pay, and now your changing the rules. Not to say your in the wrong either cause obviously her response lacked alot of class. Just tell her your serious about the budget thing (cause she might think your with drawling and trying to save some bucks before jetting, people make strange assumptions). If she still refuses to make a change... you know the answer, dump her and she will have to either go work at McDonalds or find a sugar daddy.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted February 26, 2009 Author Posted February 26, 2009 She works though..I'm far from her Sugar Daddy. She makes more than I. She just has this state of mind that the guy should always pay "Its what a BF is supposed to do" is what she used to say. But **** if I'm on a budget, don't hound me for not being able to fork out 50 bucks without thinking two/three times about it.
Peter_pan Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 ouch, yeah men should pay, but i think this was more suited to the old days, since men generally earnt more. these days its different...
Phateless Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 Yes, she is a spoiled punk. Screw her, you deserve better. What's up with the double standards?
Surfer Dude Posted February 26, 2009 Posted February 26, 2009 She's been blowing up my phone via txt and calls. I told her through text I'd catch up with her later and she responded "Lol I was gonna say I wanted to see you tmrw but nvm" I replied that I didn't want to see her tmrw (Why should I? If she can just disregard meeting up with me on her time then I should be able to reciprocate right?). She replied "u don't mean that". I finally picked up and she asked why I was ignoring her. I told her I was busy and I'd get back to her later. To be honest I really don't want to catch back up with her. What happened today is such a damn turn off. She pretty much kicked me when I was down you know? She knows you're pussy whipped and she's taking out her issues and internal frustrations on you, because she knows SHE CAN. She said she's not gonna see you, because she thought you'd submit and that she'd gain even more power over you. When you told her to get lost, she got scared because you didn't react the way she expected, and she wanted to rectify that, by acting all pissed and flustered. She is extremely disrespectful and dumb. My ex was like that, causing problems out of blue and hoping I'd submit to her powers. You can rectify this by being firm and cold: "The way you are acting is completely UNACCEPTABLE and DISRESPECTFUL. I'm not going to put up with your completely CHILDISH and IMMATURE behavior, if you don't stop this starting now, I'm going to walk out that door and you're NEVER going to see me again and you will be all MISERABLE LONELY knowing it's completely YOUR FAULT. Do we understand each other?" Hearing that, she'll try to get you to submit once again, but this time by crying and acting sad. DON'T fall into that trap, because she'll pussy whip you again and will see you are not congruent with your words. By then she'll lose all bits of respect she has left for you (if she has any at all). Then leave and don't answer your phone for a few days. Chances are, she'll be running to you and apologizing like a puppy. The balance of power will be shifted. She works though..I'm far from her Sugar Daddy. She makes more than I. She just has this state of mind that the guy should always pay "Its what a BF is supposed to do" is what she used to say. But **** if I'm on a budget, don't hound me for not being able to fork out 50 bucks without thinking two/three times about it. Tell her to start acting normal or that you'd dump her sorry ass, like I said above. If she freaks even more, don't even bother correcting her behavior. Just dump her and spend time with more respectful women. More likely than not, she's histrionic or narcissistic, so nexting might be the best course of action. Bitches like her are a disgrace to female gender.
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