Fiancee asked if we "acted too quickly" by buying house, not too late to cancel...

[Egoolps]

My fiancee and I have been dating for 8 years. The agreement was that we would not rent (as of 4 years ago, we're both 26 and were in college at that time) and that we would live with our parents to save money, and then buy.

 

We've been engaged for a year. We've been looking at houses for a few months...seeing over 50 and driving by over 100. We bidded on house recently and won the bid. It's a very nice house...and we decided it's what we wanted.

 

Now today my fiancee says to me "I hope we didn't buy too quickly." I go what do you mean? She goes well I'm just nervous...I hope we didn't buy too quickly.

 

I've talked to a couple of close friends, and they said that this is a HUGE red flag...as we've been together for a long time...and for her to say something like this is not good.

 

We're currently in the attorney review period. We would probably lose the $2000 escrow money if we backed out...but that's not my concern. Once these 5 days are up, there's no turning back...and $2000 becomes over $300,000.

 

Should I ask her if she thinks we should back out of the offer (which is almost what it sounds like, though I can't tell)? The problem is, I don't know if she was just saying it since it's a big event...or if she meant it. I asked her and she just asked me "if we bought too quickly."

 

Is this a huge red flag that she is not ready for the commitment (or for us in general)? I love her, but I don't want to live/be with someone that isn't sure if they want to live with me...especially when I've invested 8 years in that person.

 

What do you think?

[I'm Joe]

I love her, but I don't want to live/be with someone that isn't sure if they want to live with me...especially when I've invested 8 years in that person.

quote]

I think you just answered your own question... my advice.. Yes have a heartfelt discussion with her. if your as close as you say you should be able to be hones with her.

[Enema]

Are you sure she wasn't referring to the real estate market in general?

[chrislovestosurf]

Are you sure she wasn't referring to the real estate market in general?

 

 

For real, why didnt you ask her on the spot what she meant by that? this is serious stuff man.

[norajane]

A lot of first time home buyers are really surprised at how quickly things move once your offer is accepted. Suddenly, within a few days, there needs to be a home inspection, a lawyer needs to review the contract, and a mortgage needs to be lined up. She'll soon be up to her neck in debt and could be feeling buyer's remorse...maybe if you kept looking, you'd find the PERFECT house instead of the one you found.

 

For a lot of people, the longer they look, the more shocking it is at how fast things move once the offer is accepted. They've gotten used to the search as an activity, not a means to an end.

 

Or maybe she's referring to the price negotiated. Did you give in to the seller's counter offer too quickly, without negotiating further?

 

She's probably freaking out about the seemingly-speedy sale process, and the financial commitment, not your relationship. Or she might be feeling like you're too young and not yet established enough in your careers to be buying a home - if you'd waited, you'd have a bigger down payment and more job history so potentially a steadier/higher income.

 

TALK to her, and ask her to share her fears with you. That's the only way you'll know what she means, and that's the only way you can reassure her.