the cllub

[vidgamevixen]

Ok, i go to a club every saturday night, dance until 2 am and usualy go strait home.

 

Last night my girl pal and i are out at the club danceing, she's alot of fun, we ended up danceing with a bunch of british football players, (they call it soccor) anywho, one of em was realy into me, but i gave him the same amount of dance time as his mates, problem is, he was touchy feely. Like his mates were all cool, they didn't realy touch, or if we did it was momentary and for fun, this guy kept trying to latch on to me, and i kept haveing to pry him off, and he actualy stuck his hands down my pants, to which i totaly got pissed at him for and avoided him the rest of the night. My friend says i should have slapped him, but being he was a friend of the friend i had made weekends ago i was kind, and didn't. anywho, here's my question.

 

I've been dateing jon for over 7 months now, he doesn't have the time to come out to the club anymore, realy heavy work load now that he's in the home stretch to graduation. Is it wrong of me to dance with someone else at a club? I mean there is no seriose touching, i see to that, and half the time by girlfriend is there when there is. Like she and i will grab the guy, do a little danceing with him, then break off, so like i'm mostly attached to her, and i let her have the lead with being attached to him, since she's single.

 

I had a great time, i don't feel guilty realy, i mean i didn't kiss anyone, touch them sexualy or anything like that, i didn't grind i did go through the motions on a couple of times, but when touchy feely got to personal i stopped that all together. I guess im just upset becouse this dude did stick his hand down the back of my pants, and i did have to freek on him, and well, i can't see jon till wendsday, maybe. he's trying to get all his homework done so we can see each other.

 

I asked him if we could see each other today, he said no he has to mow the lawn and do homework. He said he has stuff to do, and i'd only be a distraction. I understand. But i have a feeling i'd feel better if he could hold me for a moment and kiss me and let me know things are ok in the world. I talked to him, but i didn't tell him about the pant's thing, i didn't say i touched guys while danceing but i did say i danced with my friend, (the guy) and jon didn't seem upset. He trusts me, and me going i realy miss you can i see you i think leaves no room for doubt where my heart is. Should i call him back and say i nead to see you just to hold you i nead a hug then i'll leave, or should i suck it up be a big girl and just wait till wendsday? Lots of questions.

[TremblingBluStar]

First off, the guy who stuck his hands in your pants - you should have kicked him very hard in a tender spot.

 

Okay. Maybe not. Still, I have no sympathy for guys who think they can do whatever they want to a woman, and sticking his hands in your pants is a prelude to rape. You'd have every right to defend yourself.

 

As for your bf, you shouldn't feel guilty about going out and dancing with other guys. If you need to see him today, I'd recommend calling him and telling him so. I'm kind of befuddled as to why he would say if you came over that you'd be a distraction! No matter how much work he has to get done, he can make spare 15 minutes to comfort you.

[vixen]

He's got to do what he has to do, besides, he's comeing over tonight just to make me feel better, i told him i don't want him to stay long he has school in the morning. His last year in collage. He lives with his parents when i finaly told him about the insodent he was not happy. I hadn't told him yet when i wrote that earlier, but a friend of mine told me it's best to tell him ya know. So i did. But he couldn't have me come over right then and there because his parents were being well, uncool lets just say. They have some odd stricked rules. Like no visitors unannounce, and this includes not comeing in the house. Like if i was to drive up and meet him out front they'd think that wierd, it would make them uncomfortable. he thinks it's stupid too. And it's not offen he voices he displeasure about something, so it must realy tick him off. I can't wait till he gets a place of his own after collage.

 

I see people have veiwed this but no one has said anything except for you. Is it a subject to hard to give advice on? I've decided that when i go to the club, i'm only going to dance on the womens safty tables, they have designated tables for chicks only. The reason i was dancing on the floor was becouse of my friend. Anywho, i've decide i don't think danceing with other guys is ok. I'd be pissed if jon was danceing with another girl, and touching her, if they were danceing and just faceing each other it happens, but touching, i don't like it, and i've decided he wouldn't either, and well, i didn't like it to much neither, i mean the cool kid i danced with who didn't touch me was realy cool, but how many british soccor boys can there be in a club? LOL So i answered my own question about that.

 

Thanks, vixen

[Curt]

I see people have veiwed this but no one has said anything except for you. Is it a subject to hard to give advice on?

 

Believe me, I could go on and on about how you should have dumped Jon weeks and weeks ago...but you've made your decision, and I have to respect that.

 

Curt

[vixen]

i knew you'd be bitter about that curt, but the subject wasn't jon, it was some guy sticking his hands down my pants should i tell jon,

 

and should i dance with other guys, in a non sexual non commited non intersted way. Those were the questions.

 

Sigh, look curt, i'm sorry you disagree with my decition, and i'm thankful you respect it, that's a very becoming charicteristic in a person. I'm not unhappy, i'm actual quite happy, and that i think is my decideing factor. As long as i stay happy, as long as jon says how hi, when i say jump, i'm happy. Not to sound millitant, but with his busy schedule the simple compliancys with my neads and requests to show me i'm number one in his life, besides himself, are proof enough for me that i am his love, he does want me, and that return is what i'm looking for, i love him he loves me. get it. LOL

 

Why am i trying to explain this to you?? Ah well probly becouse i appreciate what you did for me, you tried awfully hard to give me good advice. So i guess i want you to know i'm ok, and happy, and it didn't go unappreciated, it just didn't seem right. That's all. I give advice that seems off with very good intentions too. Ya know.

 

*internet hugs for curt* thanks for careing man.

 

Vixen

[Curt]

I know sweetie, and I appreciate the kind words

 

I guess I just would have liked to see ya hook up with a guy that really treats you the way I think you deserve to be treated. But again, what I think isn't necessarily what is best for you where you are in your life right now, and I understand that. Please forgive my interfering.

 

See Vixen, so often I see sweet young women like yourself, end up with guys that don't give their "all" to the relationship. Meanwhile the ladies they have almost bend over backwards to get their guys to pay attention to them, and sometimes consider it a personal failing when they don't.

 

For reasons I can't understand, that troubles me.

 

Ah well, as long as you're ok with him, ignore my insane ramblings. I tend to go on sometimes....

 

Curt

[TremblingBluStar]

Originally posted by Curt See Vixen, so often I see sweet young women like yourself, end up with guys that don't give their "all" to the relationship. Meanwhile the ladies they have almost bend over backwards to get their guys to pay attention to them, and sometimes consider it a personal failing when they don't.

I'm pretty sure they like it that way.

 

They may deny it, but women like a guy they have to work for.

[vixen]

or who works hard. I'm tierd of guys who are louses, doing the bare minamum to get buy, relying on me for everything, I don't mind being emotional support, or a good friend, but i'm not a mom, and i like my guy who is highly independant. I nead not ever worry about him, he'll be ok. And yes his aloof nature is attractive. Womem want a man first, than a kid, not a kid then a kid. LOL Anywho, thanks.

 

Vixen